dilemna

[Katiemarie]

Well.

Here''s the bottom line. I love weddings. I am a certified wedding planner, getting ready to start my own planning business (yay) and starting to plan my own wedding.

However! My parents have told me several times that if i have a small (inexpensive) wedding they will give me the rest of the cash towards a downpayment on a house.

We as a couple are not extremly rich but we are not poor either. WE both have decent jobs and combined make a good income. However, we live in the chicago area which is super super pricy for housing. I do not want a condo, i want a HOuse or at the very least a Duplex. We''d be looking at 175 to 200 grand for a decent 2 or 3 bedroom duplex. a large downpayment would therefore obviously help a lot!

My parents will give somewhere in the range of 30,000. (wedding or house, or both depending on how cheaply i can get away with for a wedding)

I know that i could have a nice wedding for less then that, but in the back of my head even spending 10,000 on a wedding makes me want to scream when it all could go towards a house. I also know that in a few years we could save a decent amount for a downpayment too and i could have it both ways, but i dont wnat to wait that long! I dont want to keep paying rent and paying rent for nothing.

My problem is that i would love a good size wedding (about 160 people we came up with and that was leaving out quite a few) becuase i love love love to plan it. I have so many great ideas.

But on the other hand, the practical side of me knows that a house would be around longer and a better investment.

I have been looking into how cheaply i can do things, and its become clear that i either need to 1) cut the guest list A LOT 2) have the "regular" wedding and spend about 15,000 and thats still cuting corners 3) have a small wedding ceremony and some parties later 4) i don''t know!!

i just needed to vent i guess. i''d love to just be able to have a small unregular wedding and start shopping for a house, but part of me hates that idea and feels like i would regret it. Although then i think well if i really do get my business started i can plan other peoples weddings on their dollar

 

[JCJD]

Do a "Destination" wedding in a reasonably-distanced less expensive area where you can plan your heart out, invite all your loved ones, and still have enough money for a downpayment.

 

[njc]

I like JCJDs idea OR have the small wedding and once you buy the house have a HUGE "Yea happy married us, new house party"! OR have a decent sized wedding but do the church fellowship hall reception... you know, punch, peanuts, cookies and cake maybe ask some relatives to donate finger sandwiches.

 

[scarlet16]

Katiemarie-
Your post totally struck close to home. I''m having the exact same problem! Our parents have offered to help pay for either an apartment (we live in Manhattan) or for a wedding. And with the prices for housing being sky high in the city, we''re stuck doing one or the other right now. I''m such a reasonable person that I just really can''t fathom spending $40-50,000 on a single day! I''d much rather own my own place... And like you said, I could just save a few years after the wedding and then buy a place but I''m absolutely impatient!

 

[poptart]

I would definitely choose the house, katiemarie. That is such a great investment! I think the ideas about a smaller wedding. The house is just such a wonderful opportunity! And later on if you wanted, you could renew your vows and have a humongous bash. Small weddings are actually very nice. We had one, and it was lovely. I hope you are comfortable with whatever decision you make.

*M*

 

[firebirdgold]

Go for the house!

Of course this is coming from the woman who''s having a 10 person wedding including the bride and groom!

 

[robbie3982]

I agree that you should go for the house. It''s definitely what I would do, but my parents have already told me that even if there''s any money left over from the wedding budget they are not giving it to us. I highly doubt we''ll have any left over, though. Our budget is pretty small.

 

[Katiemarie]

Thanks for the replies.

I am thinking of going with the church hall so i don''t have to pay any rental fees, and maybe doing mexican food (i am marrying a mexican afterall!) which is a lot cheaper then going with a traditional catering company.

that would leave us a good chunk of the money for a house downpayment

 

[JCJD]

Date: 11/9/2006 12:22:32 PM
Author: Katiemarie
Thanks for the replies.


I am thinking of going with the church hall so i don''t have to pay any rental fees, and maybe doing mexican food (i am marrying a mexican afterall!) which is a lot cheaper then going with a traditional catering company.


that would leave us a good chunk of the money for a house downpayment

And YUM!!!

Could his family (and yours) make some (if not all) of the food as a wedding present? That way you could have some of his favorite family recipes at your wedding, homecooked by mom and dad! It would also save your budget some money.

 

[Jas12]

I think u should have a wedding of ''some sort''--esp if you love planning and are starting a business in this area! It just makes sense that if you are going to do this for other people for years to come, you get to do it for yourself as well.

I considered going away to say vows then coming back and throwing a luxe bash for 150-200 friends and family. I was going to have a cocktail style party with band, good food, favours, and other personal touches that i am obsessed with. Maybe this could be an option--it really reduces costs b/c there are no crazy expectations that will spiral out of control, no dresses, tuxes, bouquets, limos, fancy invites, dinner etc. etc. etc. but all the fun and attention to detail that you excell at. May be an option to consider....

 

[Katiemarie]

Date: 11/9/2006 1:48:20 PM
Author: Jas12
I think u should have a wedding of ''some sort''--esp if you love planning and are starting a business in this area! It just makes sense that if you are going to do this for other people for years to come, you get to do it for yourself as well.

I considered going away to say vows then coming back and throwing a luxe bash for 150-200 friends and family. I was going to have a cocktail style party with band, good food, favours, and other personal touches that i am obsessed with. Maybe this could be an option--it really reduces costs b/c there are no crazy expectations that will spiral out of control, no dresses, tuxes, bouquets, limos, fancy invites, dinner etc. etc. etc. but all the fun and attention to detail that you excell at. May be an option to consider....

The funny thing is that for me the ceremony part is the cheap part. My parents are super involved in the church and really good friends with the preist (my mom plays bridge with him at our house every friday) so there''s no kind of fees to be paid there (only a tip or whatever for the preist)

My dress/attire will not come out of my "budget" my mom said that they will buy my dress reguardless of what i decide

we have decided not to use a florist at all but instead are using bead bouquets, the expense for which will come out of my own "pleasure" money that i set aside from paychecks for shopping!

no limos (we weren''t going to anyway, we were going to just have some family friends drive my dads cool cars, but if i use the church hall then definately don''t need one!

and my sister owns her own business taht she does hand lettered (and colored) cards and invitations, so that''s no cost to me either! (aside from my own time helping out with the coloring i''ms ure!!)

so, getting married at a small ceremony doesn''t really help me any. lol.

but you are right, i should get to plan my own otherwise i think i''ll just be jealous planning other peoples. lol.