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Did I overpay for my oval? 3 carat looks like a 2 carat.

oval regret

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2021
Messages
15
Hi there,

Sigh, I feel like we overpaid for a 3 carat. Im in a little bit of regret because I relied on my fiancé to do his due diligence. I knew he was looking for an engagement ring and I wanted to part of the process. Somehow he was secretive about it and took matter in his own hands. He asked what I wanted and my reply was a 3 carat oval, eye clean, between E-H color ring. He went ring shopping and told me he paid $55,000 for it. When he bought the ring home, it looked more like a 2.25 carat in halo setting. I was a little disappointed.

I checked the Gia report. Here are the specs:
E color, VS1,
measurement 10.82mm x7.84mm x 5.18 mm
table 57%,
depth 66.1%

Based on the view on top, most of the face up carat of the diamond is gone due to the deep depth. Similar to an iceberg, the diamond weight is in the bottom, causing the diamond to appear smaller than its actual carat weight. I originally wanted a 3 carat oval because I wanted a bigger looking stone even if it means to sacrifice the fiery round brilliance look. That was the reason why I chose oval. Now that it looks more like a 2 carat will a dull look, I would have much preferred a 2 carat round. I know I should be appreciative but I’m super unhappy because every time when I look at the ring, I feel like he overpaid and the jeweler didn’t offer him the best option. The jeweler told him the stone was specifically ordered and my fiancé had to put a deposit before even seeing it. My fiancé was too trusting with the jeweler and I also take some of the responsibility for not being more specific. There is also a no exchange policy :(

Based on the symmetry and pictures, do you think we could’ve found something that looks bigger face up and eye clean for less? Also, do this look like a 3 carat with halo? Thanks D8AA67EC-1E85-4815-AA36-D0759AB892DA.jpeg e
 

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La2020

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2020
Messages
596
That is quite a big beautiful oval you have there. I think the depth falls under the very good range, instead of excellent. I thought your fiancé has done a pretty decent job actually. Did your fiancé share what were his options? He could have already picked the best one from the lot.

I am wondering, what do you mean by 3 carat looks like a 2 carat? Do you mean that you have came across a 2 carat with similar dimensions (10.82mm x7.84mm)? I did the calculations and for a 2 carat to have the same dimensions, it will mean too shallow and too spready.


If it has no return policy, maybe a few years down the road you can get another better one of your choice? Or you can try to sell it and get another one...but that will mean losses at your end.

Personally, I feel an e-ring is more symbolic, it doesn't matter if it doesn't fit my ideal. My e diamond is ungraded, with a big nasty feather under the table under the 10x loupe - yah my spouse was clueless when it comes to buying diamonds and he had grossly overpaid for it too. :lol-2: That was over a decade back. However, I was happy to get almost anything from him and did not pay much attention to the flaws, since I do not want him to feel that he had failed in this important task.
 

Snowdrop13

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 27, 2011
Messages
2,510
It’s hard to find an exact comparison but here’s one very similar to yours with slightly higher clarity,


Measures all most exactly the same size and is not far off the same $$$. I think if your bf bought this in a bricks and mortar shop and the price includes the setting then you’re ok! Please stop fretting. You have a gorgeous, enormous ring and I’m sure your bf tried very hard to get something you’d love.
 

737lizakg

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
565
Oh that is a beautiful setting! The oval, to me, looks like the max size that you can wear without it creeping to your knuckle, which would look very unbalanced. If you find the stone dull, that is one thing, but in terms of size, it is really the biggest that I think you should be wearing. If it REALLY doesn't sparkle, maybe posting your gia report asking if a recut is worth it would be an option? I have no idea if ovals are easy to tweak. But from your pics it looks nice and bright.

I also don't like my ering. So I understand the feeling of looking down and being upset that you can't be more appreciative. However, mine is a 4 3mm 0.30ct stone! So, a bit different from your beautiful rock. If there is no exchange or return on it, just give yourself time. But mainly, don't go bigger. Anything bigger won't suit your hand and finger length.
 

Groovy Chick

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 11, 2003
Messages
133
First of all, honestly, that ring is STUNNING. I actually think it does look like a 3 carat.

I've been through similar. I started with a 1.5 carat pear because I wanted the biggest spread possible within our budget. Ten days after wearing it I spotted an inclusion, which I could never unsee. So about a year later, we switched to a 1.5 carat RB (we lost money of course) and I stuffed up again. It looked more like a 1.4 carat and this bugged me for over a decade. I paid to change the setting hoping it would help. Yeah nah. Didn't work. I recently sideways-graded to a 2 carat RB (lost money again) taking a hit in clarity and colour. I'm over the moon with my new e-ring even though it's an I1. So, I can totally relate to your situation. (Mine was all my own fault as I chose each stone/setting.)

Now, that is not to say the size of yours will continue to bug you. Here's what I think: I think no matter how much a person spends on a diamond, there will always be some element they wish was better. Just as 'shrinkage' is a known thing, I reckon 'fixation' is a thing too. We can end up fixating on one thing we wish was different about our diamond. I think your fiance has actually done really well, especially going by what LA202 says about measurements. I know it feels empty when people say 'just appreciate what you've got', but it actually is true. No matter what ring you get, you'll find something to wish for. I would kill to own a ring like the Real Housewives of BH wear (I recently watched some of it on Youtube just to see their jewelery), but I've finally accepted that it's okay that I'll never get to experience that. What I do have though is a man who loves me to the moon and back—and for a guy to buy you a ring like your fiance has... you obviously have this too. This is worth more than anything else on earth. My dad told me when I was a kid that the biggest challenge in life is finding a good partner. You've succeeded in love. You've essentially won the most important lottery of all.

Your ring is amazing. Fall in love with it despite its perceived flaws because tbh, perfection is boring anyway. Every diamond is different. Every diamond has a personality. Every diamond is doing its best to please and shine. Yours is doing a terrific job and the most special thing about it... it's YOUR DIAMOND.

And it's a whopper.

Wear it proudly and get on with planning your wedding <3
 

oval regret

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2021
Messages
15
That is quite a big beautiful oval you have there. I think the depth falls under the very good range, instead of excellent. I thought your fiancé has done a pretty decent job actually. Did your fiancé share what were his options? He could have already picked the best one from the lot.

I am wondering, what do you mean by 3 carat looks like a 2 carat? Do you mean that you have came across a 2 carat with similar dimensions (10.82mm x7.84mm)? I did the calculations and for a 2 carat to have the same dimensions, it will mean too shallow and too spready.


If it has no return policy, maybe a few years down the road you can get another better one of your choice? Or you can try to sell it and get another one...but that will mean losses at your end.

Personally, I feel an e-ring is more symbolic, it doesn't matter if it doesn't fit my ideal. My e diamond is ungraded, with a big nasty feather under the table under the 10x loupe - yah my spouse was clueless when it comes to buying diamonds and he had grossly overpaid for it too. :lol-2: That was over a decade back. However, I was happy to get almost anything from him and did not pay much attention to the flaws, since I do not want him to feel that he had failed in this important task.

Thank you for the reassurance. Yeah, I should be more appreciative. I guess it just drives me a little crazy when I compared standard 3 carat ovals and most seem to measure at least 11.4mm+, 8mm+4mm+. The only reason I started comparing because my stone doesn’t appear to look like a 3 carat. Based on the measurements on Diamond database, I think it’s more 2.5 proper. We could’ve save some money for other things. I would’ve been happy to get a 2.5 face up because if it isn’t 3 carat face up, the .5 extra is just cash burn :( However, I am glad that I went with a halo setting to make it look bigger.
 

oval regret

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2021
Messages
15
It’s hard to find an exact comparison but here’s one very similar to yours with slightly higher clarity,


Measures all most exactly the same size and is not far off the same $$$. I think if your bf bought this in a bricks and mortar shop and the price includes the setting then you’re ok! Please stop fretting. You have a gorgeous, enormous ring and I’m sure your bf tried very hard to get something you’d love.

Thanks for the reassurance ♥️
 

oval regret

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2021
Messages
15
Oh that is a beautiful setting! The oval, to me, looks like the max size that you can wear without it creeping to your knuckle, which would look very unbalanced. If you find the stone dull, that is one thing, but in terms of size, it is really the biggest that I think you should be wearing. If it REALLY doesn't sparkle, maybe posting your gia report asking if a recut is worth it would be an option? I have no idea if ovals are easy to tweak. But from your pics it looks nice and bright.

I also don't like my ering. So I understand the feeling of looking down and being upset that you can't be more appreciative. However, mine is a 4 3mm 0.30ct stone! So, a bit different from your beautiful rock. If there is no exchange or return on it, just give yourself time. But mainly, don't go bigger. Anything bigger won't suit your hand and finger length.

Thanks for the reassurance. I’m glad I went with the halo setting to make the stone appear to be bigger. I need to be more appreciative and grateful ♥️
 

La2020

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2020
Messages
596
First of all, honestly, that ring is STUNNING. I actually think it does look like a 3 carat.

I've been through similar. I started with a 1.5 carat pear because I wanted the biggest spread possible within our budget. Ten days after wearing it I spotted an inclusion, which I could never unsee. So about a year later, we switched to a 1.5 carat RB (we lost money of course) and I stuffed up again. It looked more like a 1.4 carat and this bugged me for over a decade. I paid to change the setting hoping it would help. Yeah nah. Didn't work. I recently sideways-graded to a 2 carat RB (lost money again) taking a hit in clarity and colour. I'm over the moon with my new e-ring even though it's an I1. So, I can totally relate to your situation. (Mine was all my own fault as I chose each stone/setting.)

Now, that is not to say the size of yours will continue to bug you. Here's what I think: I think no matter how much a person spends on a diamond, there will always be some element they wish was better. Just as 'shrinkage' is a known thing, I reckon 'fixation' is a thing too. We can end up fixating on one thing we wish was different about our diamond. I think your fiance has actually done really well, especially going by what LA202 says about measurements. I know it feels empty when people say 'just appreciate what you've got', but it actually is true. No matter what ring you get, you'll find something to wish for. I would kill to own a ring like the Real Housewives of BH wear (I recently watched some of it on Youtube just to see their jewelery), but I've finally accepted that it's okay that I'll never get to experience that. What I do have though is a man who loves me to the moon and back—and for a guy to buy you a ring like your fiance has... you obviously have this too. This is worth more than anything else on earth. My dad told me when I was a kid that the biggest challenge in life is finding a good partner. You've succeeded in love. You've essentially won the most important lottery of all.

Your ring is amazing. Fall in love with it despite its perceived flaws because tbh, perfection is boring anyway. Every diamond is different. Every diamond has a personality. Every diamond is doing its best to please and shine. Yours is doing a terrific job and the most special thing about it... it's YOUR DIAMOND.

And it's a whopper.

Wear it proudly and get on with planning your wedding <3

I have to say this...very inspiring! :appl:
 

oval regret

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2021
Messages
15
First of all, honestly, that ring is STUNNING. I actually think it does look like a 3 carat.

I've been through similar. I started with a 1.5 carat pear because I wanted the biggest spread possible within our budget. Ten days after wearing it I spotted an inclusion, which I could never unsee. So about a year later, we switched to a 1.5 carat RB (we lost money of course) and I stuffed up again. It looked more like a 1.4 carat and this bugged me for over a decade. I paid to change the setting hoping it would help. Yeah nah. Didn't work. I recently sideways-graded to a 2 carat RB (lost money again) taking a hit in clarity and colour. I'm over the moon with my new e-ring even though it's an I1. So, I can totally relate to your situation. (Mine was all my own fault as I chose each stone/setting.)

Now, that is not to say the size of yours will continue to bug you. Here's what I think: I think no matter how much a person spends on a diamond, there will always be some element they wish was better. Just as 'shrinkage' is a known thing, I reckon 'fixation' is a thing too. We can end up fixating on one thing we wish was different about our diamond. I think your fiance has actually done really well, especially going by what LA202 says about measurements. I know it feels empty when people say 'just appreciate what you've got', but it actually is true. No matter what ring you get, you'll find something to wish for. I would kill to own a ring like the Real Housewives of BH wear (I recently watched some of it on Youtube just to see their jewelery), but I've finally accepted that it's okay that I'll never get to experience that. What I do have though is a man who loves me to the moon and back—and for a guy to buy you a ring like your fiance has... you obviously have this too. This is worth more than anything else on earth. My dad told me when I was a kid that the biggest challenge in life is finding a good partner. You've succeeded in love. You've essentially won the most important lottery of all.

Your ring is amazing. Fall in love with it despite its perceived flaws because tbh, perfection is boring anyway. Every diamond is different. Every diamond has a personality. Every diamond is doing its best to please and shine. Yours is doing a terrific job and the most special thing about it... it's YOUR DIAMOND.

And it's a whopper.

Wear it proudly and get on with planning your wedding <3

Thank you for the reassurance. Yeah, partially my own fault for looking and comparing online. It got me a little crazy thinking we got ripped off. Feel like we could’ve saved some money and just get a 2.5 carat face up because the deep cut caused us the extra .5 carat in the bottom that we will never see. As you may know most ppl pick the fancy shapes to get the biggest spread. My stone measures at 10.82mm, 7.84mm ,5.18 and I think the standard is 11.5+x8mmx4mm+. I guess knowing how my ring could’ve look bigger had I been more specific to
My fiancé about depth and cut will have to live with me forever. But I truly appreciate your kind words. You are right, I need to be more grateful and happy of what is infront of me and not what I don’t have. ♥️
 

Groovy Chick

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 11, 2003
Messages
133
I would’ve been happy to get a 2.5 face up because if it isn’t 3 carat face up, the .5 extra is just cash burn

Actually no. The fact is you have a 3 carat stone and not a 2.5 carat stone. You know this in your head, and when people ask, "Ooh, how many carats is that?" you get to answer, "It's three carats" instead of "It's two and a half carats". And people WILL ask lol.

As for the spread, nothing can change the fact that your stone is a three carat diamond.

Look at it this way: If you won a prize that involved choosing one of two oval diamond rings that looked EXACTLY the same size and then you were told that one was a 2.5 carat and the other was a 3 carat, which would you choose? Obviously the 3 carat. So, you haven't 'burned cash'. You've got a more valuable/desirable ring than a 2.5 carat.
 

oval regret

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2021
Messages
15
I am curious, where do you get the standard measurements from? 4mm+ for these measurements for an oval, will still be too shallow.

I was looking at diamond database and other GIA reports for 3 carats ovals. I just put 4+ but they are usually in high 4s. Sorry for the confusion. F1CCF36A-281D-431D-8315-311A349F0F4C.jpeg Here’s a standard I pulled from DB by entering 3 carat oval.
 

Natylad

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 17, 2009
Messages
2,483
Congratulations on your engagement and on your gorgeous ring, which is truly impressive and mesmerizing!
I can't help but wonder whether you are troubling yourself without valid reason. I understand that you want your diamond to face up like its weight but the question is: Have you actually seen in person, either loose or set in a ring, other well cut 3ct oval diamonds, in order to judge how big they face up compared to the one that you received or are you just comparing the mm of your stone with the dimensions of other oval diamonds of the same carat weight that you found online?
The reason I'm asking you is because sometimes we have a preconception of how big a diamond should look on our hand based on its carat weight, without actually having seen one of the specific size in person, in order to be able to judge with certainty. It happened to a dear friend of mine!!!! Everybody in her social circle is wearing diamonds which are approximately 1ct or even smaller and she asked for a 1.5 ct from her fiancé, because she was convinced that her 1.5ct stone would look significantly bigger than everybody else's. When she finally received the ring she was very disappointed because she felt that it looked small on her size 6 finger !!!! I checked the specs of the stone based on the GIA report and run them through the HCA tool and the dimensions were perfect. The diamond faces up exactly as it should based on its weight and it sparkles like crazy!!! Of course, she checked online for other stones of the same carat weight and found many which faced up bigger but I explained to her that actually those diamonds were very shallow and cut badly so they wouldn't sparkle and have the fire and beauty that her stone has!!!!
Enjoy your gorgeous ring and your engagement!!!! You are a very lucky and blessed girl! And if down the road you feel like having some more finger coverage (even though truly you don't need it based on what I see in your photos!) you can reset in a halo with bigger melee diamonds or even a double halo!!! So many options!!!!! Wear your ring in good health!!!
 

MsShnooks

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2020
Messages
168
I do wonder if you actually wanted to be very hands on with the selection and that’s why you’re negative about it now. Not knowing how you feel, it just comes across ridiculously huge with a fantastic colour and clarity.
 

seaurchin

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
1,920
I think it does look like the full 3 carats and that it is gorgeous.

One thing that might help (or not lol) is to consider what percentage happy you are with it. We know you're not 100% happy with it but there's a lot of ground between that and 0% happy with it. In other words, it is likely really okay, neither your perfect preference nor an abysmal choice that you hate.

That said, I think is another issue here, which shouldn't be glossed over. You wanted to be consulted about it and you weren't.

I I read it right, that is definitely something to work on. With the rings, we hear so much disappointment on here because the old tradition is still around in our culture that the man picks the ring, and the woman is supposed to just be grateful for whatever she gets. So he likely went with that.

But the days are long gone when the money all belongs to the man and the ring is strictly a gift from the generosity of his heart. Far more likely the ring will be paid for with joint funds in one way or another. Also, it's not like your complaint is that it wasn't more expensive anyway.

Personally, I'd much rather have things like roses and chocolates for romantic gestures and full participation with something very expensive that I'll be the one wearing for many years. It is a shame so much money was spent on a ring that isn't what you'd most prefer and at a place without a return policy.

So, that's over. But how do things go from here? Maybe it would help to have a discussion with him about how, while he did pretty well with the ring and you appreciate it and etcetera, you'd still have liked to have more input on it but you were not heard. And --- that you do expect to be fully included in any joint decisions in the future. Hope this helps and good luck to you. :)
 
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yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
22,064
Your fiance chose a stone at the top of your desired colour range, which was E-H. With ovals, once you get into the H/I/J range - sometimes even at G - you will see patchiness of colour in the stone, because different facet patterns return light differently.

This is the first oval diamond photo that Google images returned.

609EE48C-BE30-4922-B1DD-5F81F9019462.jpeg

260BE1C0-EAF5-48A5-9B9B-B1CB554A21EE.jpeg

See the area outlined in red, where the facets look bigger and spread apart a bit more? In an E, that area will look very white. In an H, that area will also look very white. But look at those areas circled in yellow - see how the facets look tiny, and really close together, and the whole space just looks a bit... “mushy”? In an E, those areas will look just as white as the red area. But in an H, those areas will look more yellow/brown than the red area - those yellow areas will show the body tint of the material face-up much more than the red area.

Almost every non-precision cut oval available will have a little of both of these types of facet patterns. By choosing an E, your fiance avoided visible colour zoning face-up.


Your fiance chose a stone of such high clarity that you will never, ever see any inclusions in it, no matter how closely you inspect. Often, when a diamond gets grubby, inclusions become a lot more visible. When you see stones in the showroom they’re always freshly cleaned, and the sparkle makes inclusions almost impossible to focus on. Your stated threshold was eye clean - eye clean is always assessed when the diamond is freshly cleaned and full of distracting sparkle. But after a few hours of wear, once the diamond has picked up skin oils and water residue and lotion and whatever else your hands might encounter, the sparkle is (understandably!) somewhat muted, and any inclusions become much much easier to focus on.

By choosing a higher clarity stone than you requested, your fiance ensured that your diamond will look unblemished even after a full day of wear.


I looked on James Allen quickly, and the best 3ct oval that I saw is an F VVS2 priced at $48.1k. Dimensions are 11.19mm x 7.93mm. Yes, it’s bigger than yours - just barely! And yes, I scrolled past several stones that faced up larger, but I wouldn’t have recommended them.

I can’t see much in your photos so I’ll stop here. My general point, though - purchase of any stone is going to involve some sacrifice somewhere. We don’t have any idea how your fiance chose your stone, but I can say right away that his choice mitigated some other potential unhappinesses. Your stone is also set into a halo, which is a size equalizer - that extra quarter mm honestly most likely wouldn’t have had any memorable impact.

Ovals aren’t like rounds. When you’re buying a round there’s a smorgasbord to choose from and you can be as nipticky as you like. With ovals... Especially in larger sizes... Once you’ve decided on narrow colour and clarity ranges, you kinda gotta take what you can get. Maybe you’ll have two promising stones to choose from, if you’re lucky, but most likely of your four or five options one is a clear winner. By having his jeweller call the stone in, your fiance (most likely!) wasn’t trying to take the easy way out, but realized he was way in over his head and that if he wanted to buy an engagement ring any time soon he would do best actually trusting his chosen trusted jeweller.

Please enjoy your new ring! It is beautiful, and your fiance maxed specs out within the parameters that you asked for, and it is proportional on your finger. And it most certainly does NOT look like a 2ct. :))
 
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Roselina

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 1, 2020
Messages
803
To be honest - it looks huge. I assume you‘re still young. When I got engaged I did not even know diamonds this size exist. Enjoy the feeling of being newly engaged - it’s the sweetest feeling - and stop worrying about the ring! No overpaying here. And think of it this way: you‘ll have room to upgrade in the years to come. And years will come.
 

oval regret

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2021
Messages
15
According to LA2020's chart the average size for a 3 carat oval is 10 x 8. That equals 80 square mm. Yours is 10.82 x 7.84 which is 84.9 square mm, so this suggests your diamond is actually bigger than average.

Yeah, I think I’m just too fixated on researching about my ring that I tend to pin on the negative aspect of it. For example, I pulled several reports and it said the depth is too deep so I’ve been fixated on that since :/ I need to get over it CCF123AB-417D-4179-9BE1-402E94D95DB7.jpeg FD31DFB0-FA7D-4402-8ED9-08B739959BF9.jpeg
 

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