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Diamond can’t be upgraded and we don’t know what to do next

Cait Lorah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 9, 2021
Messages
10
My husband and I married before we got rings cause we wanted to plan/save up for a wedding with our family but got married sooner cause of military. He picked out a ring from Brilliant Earth based on three settings I gave him, but neither of us did much research on the type of diamond we had wanted.

Essentially I had wanted a .8 - 1 ct diamond, but at the time of purchase he got a .6 ct. Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy about even having a ring regardless, but we figured that with BE’s upgrade policy, getting a .8 ct would be no issue as I spoke with someone over the phone who confirmed it.

We then got told that the ring setting wouldn’t accommodate a bigger size, which we weren’t aware at the time of purchase, and the only way to get a .8 ct or bigger would be to get an entirely new setting and only have $200 for scrap metal to go towards the cost. A new setting alone would cost over $2k.

We’re both pretty bummed by this because I had thought Brilliant Earth had a wonderful upgrade policy only to find out that if I had just picked a different setting then the upgrade would have been possible (essentially what another customer service worker had said to me.)

We aren’t really sure what to do from here. I still love the ring as is, but he feels so bad now for not going into a store and seeing rings beforehand. Is there any recommendations on our situation?
 

LLJsmom

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 24, 2012
Messages
10,300
What kind of setting is it? Can you post a pic?
 

MamaBee

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2018
Messages
8,942
My husband and I married before we got rings cause we wanted to plan/save up for a wedding with our family but got married sooner cause of military. He picked out a ring from Brilliant Earth based on three settings I gave him, but neither of us did much research on the type of diamond we had wanted.

Essentially I had wanted a .8 - 1 ct diamond, but at the time of purchase he got a .6 ct. Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy about even having a ring regardless, but we figured that with BE’s upgrade policy, getting a .8 ct would be no issue as I spoke with someone over the phone who confirmed it.

We then got told that the ring setting wouldn’t accommodate a bigger size, which we weren’t aware at the time of purchase, and the only way to get a .8 ct or bigger would be to get an entirely new setting and only have $200 for scrap metal to go towards the cost. A new setting alone would cost over $2k.

We’re both pretty bummed by this because I had thought Brilliant Earth had a wonderful upgrade policy only to find out that if I had just picked a different setting then the upgrade would have been possible (essentially what another customer service worker had said to me.)

We aren’t really sure what to do from here. I still love the ring as is, but he feels so bad now for not going into a store and seeing rings beforehand. Is there any recommendations on our situation?

I’m sorry..I would get the cheapest setting they have as a temporary setting. to hold your upgrade. You can wear the temporary setting for as long as you are saving up for a new expensive setting. Sell the original setting on Loupe Troop, Diamond Bistro, or eBay...You can set up a listing on Loupe Troop and put the link in a message on Pricescope in the Preloved thread. Good luck..
 

FL_runner

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 23, 2020
Messages
384
Hm... if the setting is sentimental to you, could you think outside the box? Maybe ask if you can upgrade the stone and put it in an inexpensive solitaire setting but keep the original engagement setting and have it set with a colored stone and wear as a RHR? Or keep you engagement ring as is and pick out an eternity or half eternity band that fits in the budget?
 

nala

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 23, 2011
Messages
5,095
I would just enjoy the heck out of this one. A .20 carat jump won’t be too noticeable in this type of setting. So wear it a few years more and when you are ready for a final upgrade, you can sell this setting on eBay. You will get more than scrap gold. Or keep it for a rhr, and put upgraded stone in solitaire.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
8,523
Your ER is so pretty
And in my circle a very nice size
the setting is gorgouse

Im in the wait to upgrade to a bigger ring latter on
and i love the idea of eventually putting a coloured stone into your present setting because for $200 its a real shame to scrap it and people here can help you get a beautiful stone for any budget !

in the meantime how about getting something else to represent the $$ of the .2 difference of diamond

pearl paradise has 15% off right now
 

Cait Lorah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 9, 2021
Messages
10
I would just enjoy the heck out of this one. A .20 carat jump won’t be too noticeable in this type of setting. So wear it a few years more and when you are ready for a final upgrade, you can sell this setting on eBay. You will get more than scrap gold. Or keep it for a rhr, and put upgraded stone in solitaire.

Oh I’m definitely excited for it, he’s just beating himself up about it cause he thought the upgrade was possible
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
8,523
Oh I’m definitely excited for it, he’s just beating himself up about it cause he thought the upgrade was possible



:(2 i know its a significant anount of money but you just have to put it down to a learning experience
Life is full of them and it could have been so much worse

This is why i think just splash a wee bit of cash on something pretty that can accompany your lovelly ring in the meantime

How about some lightbox diamond studs or a pendent ?
 

737lizakg

Shiny_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
491
Oh that setting is BEAUTIFUL. If you really want to upgrade, can they just send you the stone loose? You can get a jeweler to extend the prongs. I had this done on a ring made for 6.5mm and set a 7mm stone. It sits higher but looks fine. However I echo others, .6 to .8 isn't a very big jump, and .6 is a lovely size. And practical for everyday life.
 

MillieLou

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
292
I would wait until you can get a more significant jump in size, upgrade just the stone, and take the whole lot to a good jeweller who may be able to modify the setting to fit, even if BE won't or can't. Get the jeweller's opinion before doing this.

It's a beautiful setting.

I upgraded my first e-ring from 0.50 to 0.70 and couldn't really see much difference when worn.
 
Last edited:

Cait Lorah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 9, 2021
Messages
10
Your ER is so pretty
And in my circle a very nice size
the setting is gorgouse

Im in the wait to upgrade to a bigger ring latter on
and i love the idea of eventually putting a coloured stone into your present setting because for $200 its a real shame to scrap it and people here can help you get a beautiful stone for any budget !

in the meantime how about getting something else to represent the $$ of the .2 difference of diamond

pearl paradise has 15% off right now

Yes I think we will definitely go with this option. I am happy with the setting look and think the .2 difference won’t be an issue, I just don’t want him to beat himself up about it. I’ll mention pearl paradise to him as well
 

Decision_Decisions

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 29, 2016
Messages
197
There may be some wiggle room within the same setting. I have gone from a 0 5, to a 0.86, to a 1.29 diamond in my original engagement ring setting. The prongs certainly aren't perfect after that much work but my setting is also very intricate and I wanted to keep using it.

I would agree though that 0.2 ct won't make a huge difference and that you might want to save up for a bigger jump in size before upgrading.
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
22,937
I can see why you love the setting...it is really pretty! Most upgrades only apply to the stone, not the setting.

Ditto @oldminer . Post a pic of the side profile. He may be able to tell you if your setting can be modified (even though
Brilliant Earth isnt willing to do it another jeweler might be able to.)

If it cant be modified to go bigger, I would put a beautiful colored stone in it. Its a lovely setting...dont let it get used for
scrap!

Just to make you feel better, a lot of people dont realize that some settings can not take larger stones. We've had some
poster think that if the setting page says it can take a .5 to 3 carat stone that they can upgrade from a .75 to a 1.5 carat
with no issue. Unfortunately, it doesnt work that way. Usually at a minimum the head has to be replaced and with some
settings that not an option.

So...please post a side pic of the setting so we can get a better view of what there is to work with.

Edit...here is the link to the Secret Garden setting

After looking at the side view I personally think you can go to a .8 with the right jeweler/bench. Just my personal opinion and I'm
not a bench so take it for what its worth!
 
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FL_runner

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 23, 2020
Messages
384
Lots of good advice on here. I just wanted to say I empathise as I had a similar situation with my setting. It cost a bomb and I was very surprised that you can only get absolute peanuts back for it a couple of years later.

Crazy, isn’t it? That’s why I love the idea of reusing settings with a colored stone or something else if the main stone is upgraded- seems like such a waste!
 

Cait Lorah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 9, 2021
Messages
10
I’m sorry..I would get the cheapest setting they have as a temporary setting. to hold your upgrade. You can wear the temporary setting for as long as you are saving up for a new expensive setting. Sell the original setting on Loupe Troop, Diamond Bistro, or eBay...You can set up a listing on Loupe Troop and put the link in a message on Pricescope in the Preloved thread. Good luck..

Thank you for this info! We will definitely look into it. We’ll probably hold onto this ring for a while cause I think the .6 ct looks nice. The clarity and color are a bit low so that’s why we’re hoping to find a solution at some point.
 

Cait Lorah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 9, 2021
Messages
10
Please show us a side view of the ring you have been wearing. It may be that just changing the center setting can be done and then a larger diameter diamond would fit. Let's take a look before thinking that it has to cost $2,000 for a new mounting.

I haven’t seen the ring myself yet since he still wants to plan a proposal. We’ve only discussed dimensions.
 

Cait Lorah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 9, 2021
Messages
10
I can see why you love the setting...it is really pretty! Most upgrades only apply to the stone, not the setting.

Ditto @oldminer . Post a pic of the side profile. He may be able to tell you if your setting can be modified (even though
Brilliant Earth isnt willing to do it another jeweler might be able to.)

If it cant be modified to go bigger, I would put a beautiful colored stone in it. Its a lovely setting...dont let it get used for
scrap!

Just to make you feel better, a lot of people dont realize that some settings can not take larger stones. We've had some
poster think that if the setting page says it can take a .5 to 3 carat stone that they can upgrade from a .75 to a 1.5 carat
with no issue. Unfortunately, it doesnt work that way. Usually at a minimum the head has to be replaced and with some
settings that not an option.

So...please post a side pic of the setting so we can get a better view of what there is to work with.

Edit...here is the link to the Secret Garden setting

After looking at the side view I personally think you can go to a .8 with the right jeweler/bench. Just my personal opinion and I'm
not a bench so take it for what its worth!

The concern with going to another jeweler is that the company only sells the setting with a diamond. To exchange the diamond with the company we would have to return the ring entirely and pay for a new setting, or maybe they’d be willing to let us have the original setting (I would have in inquire.)

Another option would be to sell the diamond once a different jeweler is able to remove it, I’m just worried about the decrease in value and how much money we could get back for it.
 

Cait Lorah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 9, 2021
Messages
10
If he hasn't proposed yet maybe that means you haven't had the ring in your possession all that long. Is is possible you're in the return period still?
He had bought it before his military deployment, and that was where he realized he meant to get the .8 ct instead of .6 ct. I did research and saw that the company did upgrades, even called them and got a guarantee, so we let the 30 day window of opportunity pass since he wanted to be able to take care of it himself and still surprise me.
 

MsShnooks

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2020
Messages
168
If the main concern is the poor quality of the centre diamond, perhaps you could upgrade to the same size but choosing a great colour, clarity and cut? It’ll look bigger if it’s got great specs. And I’d also agree that’s there’s little difference between 0.6 and 0.8 especially in a more elaborate setting.
 

MillieLou

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
292
If you've never even worn it, that changes things.

A reasonable vendor would often allow a return of the whole, unused ring (possibly with a restocking fee or similar; or even a reasonable part-exchange ie not scrap value!) if you are buying a more expensive diamond and setting.

Have you or you DH spoken to them to see if you can work something like this out? Perhaps putting your circumstances, and the advice you were given, in writing to someone higher up in the company?

If it's not an option, I would focus on the beauty of the existing ring as a whole package (and it does look really beautiful) rather than the diamond size. No way would I be willing to lose c.2000 USD on a ring I hadn't even received yet for the sake of 0.20ct.
 

Cait Lorah

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 9, 2021
Messages
10
If you've never even worn it, that changes things.

A reasonable vendor would often allow a return of the whole, unused ring (possibly with a restocking fee or similar; or even a reasonable part-exchange ie not scrap value!) if you are buying a more expensive diamond and setting.

Have you or you DH spoken to them to see if you can work something like this out? Perhaps putting your circumstances, and the advice you were given, in writing to someone higher up in the company?

If it's not an option, I would focus on the beauty of the existing ring as a whole package (and it does look really beautiful) rather than the diamond size. No way would I be willing to lose c.2000 USD on a ring I hadn't even received yet for the sake of 0.20ct.

I have been recommended to a manager since I felt like their advertising was a bit misleading and had we known what we do now, then this whole thing could have been avoided quite easily. I’ll update the thread once I hear back for them.

I am happy about the ring and I love the look of it very much. I’m fine with having this ring and then doing an upgrade for a 5 or 10 year anniversary. My frustration at the moment is just with Brilliant Earth because I was given false facts. He would have already planned a proposal by now had we known the upgrade wasn’t even in the realm of possibility with the company too.
 
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