diamond addicted single gal... buy the ring anyway?

[Independent Gal]

Hi Ladies, I''ve very much enjoyed lurking here over the past few months. My then long time boyfriend said ''What kind of ring would you like?'' and I thought ''Why gee whiz, I have NO idea!'' Reading this forum was an ENORMOUS help, and I''ve really enjoyed reading your stories and your frank advice to each other. You ladies (and gents) are really something.

Well, about 3 weeks ago, we had the final put it all on the table, hash it all out marriage ''talk'' and decided that, while we''re very fond of each other, etc., we would make a TERRIBLE married couple. So, we split up. Amicably. And remarkably painlessly (which I guess means it was the right thing).

Trouble is, by that point, you guys had got me so freaking addicted to sparklies that now I still WANT ONE! I saw a teeny tiny (read: affordable) version of the one I''d pretty much set my heart on on ''signed pieces'' and am now thinking to splurge and buy it. It doesn''t necessarily look like an e-ring, so I thought I could enjoy it as a right hand ring. This is about a month''s salary for me, so it''s a big big deal.

I had aaaalmost convinced myself it was a good idea when I talked to my dad. He said he thought it was ''neurotic'' to buy yourself an e-ring right after you break up. So now I''m a little freaked out. I kinda thought it was an independent, fun thing to do. But my dad is usually a pretty level-headed guy.

Any thoughts? Is it weird to buy yourself the e-ring you wanted as an rhr?

 

[Julian]

I say, GO FOR IT!

I don''t think it''s neurotic at all! Why not buy yourself bling? You''re in a new phase of your life: independent, stronger & wiser. Reward yourself!

Right hand rings say, "I''m so worth it. I don''t need a man to buy me bling. I am a powerful woman who can take care of myself!"
Remember, the key word is gift. It''s a gift to yourself. Later, your true love can gift you with an even prettier e-ring.

 

[hlmr]

Welcome to PS Independent Gal!

My advice is to wait another couple of months and if you still really want it, go for it! You''ll be wearing it as a RHR, so it is not an e-ring at all. I don''t think there is anything wrong with buying a ring for yourself if you really love it, but tastes do change with time, so why not see how you are feeling in the new year.

 

[Kaleigh]

Another vote here that says GO FOR IT!!! Why not?? Celebrate the strong woman that you are and reward yourself. Nothing wrong with that.... Can we see a pic of what you''re looking at???

 

[Julian]

hlmr, is that a real life poodle?

All your doggies look like digitally enhanced pooches: too perfect to be true!!!!!!

SOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I swear, this one looks like a person! It's too cute! I can't stand it!!!! Makes me want to pinch its little cheeks!

 

[ForteKitty]

I think you should totally go for it!! You have 9 other fingers, what''s wrong with gifting yourself with sparklies for those fingers? I just looooove pretty rings and can''t resist buying them... now I have 11 diamond rings in different shapes and sizes. (not including diamond pave bands and an antique oec/omc from grandma)

If you like it, buy it!

 

[Independent Gal]

First of all (an not to jack my own thread), I agree that poodle IS ridiculously cute. I could just eat him up. Have you ladies visited cuteoverload.com? Will brighten the darkest day. I swear.

So, I don''t quite understand what my dad is trying to say. Are there any other voices of dissent out there who could help?

The ring is the Tiffany Legacy ring and I think there are some threads on here with pics of it. I''ll try to find a link. This one''s really small..... 0.45ct or something, but a nice white F, excellent cut, and VVS (not that I needed that! esp in something so small). But heavens above is that ring ever lovely! And second hand, Tiffany actually makes sense.

NB, a guy pal pointed out that it being so small means it won''t intimidate potential future suitors! haha.

 

[ForteKitty]

The tiffany legacy is beautiful. I think it''d make an awesome rhr. are you planning on wearing it on the right ring finger or the middle finger?

 

[ForteKitty]

sorry... computer snagged.

 

[decodelighted]

Well ... first of all ... welcome! You''ll fit right in with the bling-hound posse. No "mate" required!!

Date: 11/12/2006 4:38:35 PM
Author:Independent Gal
He said he thought it was ''neurotic'' to buy yourself an e-ring right after you break up. So now I''m a little freaked out. I kinda thought it was an independent, fun thing to do. But my dad is usually a pretty level-headed guy. Is it weird to buy yourself the e-ring you wanted as an rhr?

I''m torn on this part. I DEF think you should buy yourself SOMETHING SPARKLY. Absolutely!!!!! I learned to do this early on from a boss who bought herself presents at big life events or accomplishments or just because.

As to buying a mini-version of the e-ring you want ... it''s super personal. For myself: it might remind me of the relationship I wanted to have with *old guy* and make moving on harder.

From a purely practical point of view == do you really want TWO of the same ring (assuming you''ll still want the "big" version later?). If you do want a RHR - which I think is a great idea ... maybe would should start a new search entirely & have fun with it. Something that represents that kicky independent glam-tastic YOU ... just as you are right now ... not as part of a relationship & not a MINI anything. Bigger & bolder than you''d ever want a "boring safe old e-ring". A RHR is a place you don''t have to think about forever or staying classic or being comfie.

Whatever you choose - MORE POWER TO YA! And I hope you stick around to post this & other future goodies & share some future bling-filled love story

p.s. -- I did something similar one time & almost bought myself a version of my old dream e-ring (sapphire--tastes do change!) .. but stopped myself because I was saving for a house. And because i decided the itch could be scratched by sizing up an antique ring from my grandma. Does your mom/grandma have any vintage pieces you could "borrow" for a while?? You know - just in the meantime while you decide/search.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Hi,

I very much agree that you should treat yourself to a nice RHR, but I would wait a few months before purchasing because it seems like the ring, purchased now, would be partly symbolic of a relationship that didn''t work out.

 

[sistagrl2004]

Girl please! You NEVER need a reason to wear bling. I''m married and my ering is a three stone, but my right hand ring is a solitiare. I could give a rats A$$ what "impression" it gives, one way or the other. I liked it, I got it, end of discussion You have your ENTIRE life to get married, and have THAT special ring, but that doesn''t mean you can''t collect other special pieces of jewelry on your own! It''s 2006 (damn near 2007) and why should you wait on a man to provide the bling in your life!!!!

 

[Independent Gal]

Fortekitty: right right finger... errr., 4th one? Yeah, that. Do you think it would look good on the middle finger?

Deco: Two the same would definitely be right weird. I agree. But there’s plenty more bling out there should the man come along whom I actually WANT to marry! But I had been looking on Signed Pieces for something to treat myself with, and there it was! The very ring I’d wanted at a price I could (almost) afford. It seemed like fate.

And re mom and grandma, that would be a GREAT idea, but we''re so not a jewelery family, which is why I''d never really thought about an e-ring. When I was a kid, mom and I lusted over gorgeous carpets, beautiful clothes... but never sparklies. She has a big ol'' honkin'' RB now, but only got it a few yrs back. Plus, I live a few thousand miles from them (sigh).

This may be odd, but I’m totally not worried about it reminding me of the ex. First, I really have few bad feelings about the situation. More like I dodged a kinda slow and totally well-meaning bullet. He’s a sweety. Just not MY sweety. Plus, he never even saw this ring. He basically said “If we decide ‘yes’, you’ll just pick, and I’ll pay.” Uhm, ok.

And Sistagrl? I totally agree. I wait on NO MAN! Unless he’s really cute (kidding!). Plus, you''re right about having decades to get married. I know someone who got married last month to his true love... at 60. And she didn''t even want a diamond! Lucky him.

 

[Julian]

Yes, Independent Gal, I did check out that CuteOverload.com site!

I love the puppies! Thanks for the rec. It''d be awesome for a stressful day.

 

[decodelighted]

Well ... I will say that the Tiffany Legacy looks as much "antique" as "engagmenty" ... so it probaby IS a good choice as a RHR. I personally LOVE it and wish *I* had an excuse/the dough to get one myself!

A funny "independent" aside ... at one point in my single early thirties ... I bought all the china/silverware/crystal I *WOULD* have registered for at the time FOR MYSELF.

It was pricey and quite impulsive - but I still have it & still love it. But because of that & the fact DH had been married before -- we didn''t even register for our wedding and now we have a nice Honeymoon account from gift checks.

 

[Independent Gal]

Here''s an update: I told my dad to ask his wife whether SHE thought it was neurotic. He just called me back and told me

"DW said:
1) Why the heck shouldn''t she get herself the ring if she wants it?
2) When I [step-mom] broke up with [ex] I went out and bought myself a big ruby ring [note to self... step-mom ''gets'' bling...must investigate further!]
3) It''s YOU [dad] that''s being neurotic about her not getting engaged!"

So, dad has conceded defeat before Mighty Step-Mom. Go step-mom!

And let the bling begin!

I will examine my motives carefully and send the ring back if I think I''m being silly. hey, I have a mortgage after all. But I suspect that once that baby arrives and I slide it on, it''s NEVER coming off!

Thanks so much for your advice and support, ladies.

 

[Independent Gal]

Deco, that''s just so fab that you went out and got the china and stuff that you wanted, and how great that you''ll have a magnificent honemoon now! Why should we wait for stuff that makes us happy? Maybe I''ll be 60 when my true love comes along too, but I want to enjoy every minute of life beforehand.

 

[Julian]

Yeah! I am loving your stepmom!

I think this gift to yourself will mean so much more. You will look at it and remember the time in your life when you said, "Hey, I am taking control of my destiny and what's best for me!" No one will be able to take that away from you and it will be a beautiful reminder of this celebration.

Whereas, some jewelry loses sentimental value if you break up or etc. This ring will stand the test of time; for, you gave it to yourself with love and pride and nothing will ever change that! You GO GIRL!

And it doesn't have to be the Tiffany ring. Hey, it can be any special RHR for you... maybe if the bills are tantamount to your top priorities, save the legacy buy for later. And for now, treat yourself to something simpler or more affordable!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I think buying yourself "I love me" gifts is important. As much as it is nice too get nice gifts it feels very good to be able to treat yourself. If you LOVE the ring and can afford it, go for it!!!

 

[kcoursolle]

Why not?! I buy myself jewelry all the time that has nothing to do with my relationship, nothing wrong with that at all. However, I might stear clear of "engagementy looking" rings like a 6-prong tiffany setting or wearing on my left ring finger.

 

[Lorelei]

You DESERVE a sparkly something if that is what you want! GO FOR IT!!!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

By all means, treat yourself!

 

[nejarb]

Date: 11/12/2006 5:08:29 PM
Author: Julian
hlmr, is that a real life poodle?


All your doggies look like digitally enhanced pooches: too perfect to be true!!!!!!


SOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I swear, this one looks like a person! It''s too cute! I can''t stand it!!!! Makes me want to pinch its little cheeks!

NO KIDDING! that is seriously the cutest little thing I have EVER seen!

 

[Independent Gal]

With all this encouragement, how could I help but go for it? I ordered the ring. I figured out how I can manage it financially without neglecting any of my other responsibilities. And I just know it will make me happy everyday for many, many years to come.

I think JuliaN is right that it will come to symbolize being in control of my destiny, and being strong and independent and excited about the future because I bought it at this particular moment. Plus, if I''m ever blessed with a daughter, the idea of having something imbued with those particular sentiments to give to her is such a lovely thought.

That''s the best thing about jewelery: how it lasts forever and can take on memories and feelings and become a symbol for ideas. (Well, I can see how that can be a bad thing in certain cases too, of course! But not in this case). The other best thing, of course, is that it''s so freaking sparkly.

Ladies, I am SO EXCITED!

 

[hlmr]

Date: 11/12/2006 5:08:29 PM
Author: Julian
hlmr, is that a real life poodle?

All your doggies look like digitally enhanced pooches: too perfect to be true!!!!!!

SOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I swear, this one looks like a person! It''s too cute! I can''t stand it!!!! Makes me want to pinch its little cheeks!

LOL Julian!!! Yes, that is my real poodle Brownie,.....not digitally enhanced....just cute as all get out!

 

[hlmr]

Congrats to you Independant Gal!!! Please post hand shots when you receive it!

 

[firebirdgold]

Yay!!

Congrats, that ring is gorgeous!!

After 7 years of being single and of never having had a good valentine''s day, I once bought myself a ''who needs a guy'' diamond ring for my right middle finger. So obviously I think it''s a great idea!

 

[Dee*Jay]

Good for you! And we can''t wait for hand shots!

 

[KristyDarling]

Yeah for the supportive step-mom!!! I'm all for girl power and acquiring for yourself the things that you like or need. A wise therapist once told me, "If you want something, get it. Don't wait around for someone else to get it for you." Such simple words, and they seem so obvious, but with the complexity of our relationships and emotions, that advice is easy to forget!

I can't wait to see hand pics!

 

[divergrrl]

"All the independent women...throw you hands up with me!! The rock I''m rocking---I bought it!"

Ok..well its a few of the lyrics...you go girl. I bought myself a pair of yg diamond hoops for mother''s day back when I was single because I had just gotten a new puppy and was so tired from staying up all night with her. I don''t wear yg that often, but I love them as they were my "happy blingday to me" gift to myself.

Get that ring and post it for us!

Jeannine