Destination Wedding ideas... my first post here!

[panda08]

FI and I got engaged in August. He''s not interested in the formalities of a wedding and I''m totally the anti-bride so neither of us have given much thought about how and when we''re gonna get hitched. It''s been almost four months without a single plan and I think it''s time we start to figure things out.

A bit about us: we''re in our mid to late 30''s. Neither of us are interested in a big wedding and are more on the casual side. FI would love to elope somewhere in French Polynesia and honeymoon in the overwater bungalows. I''m not opposed to that idea and neither are our families. However, my preference is to have a small destination wedding, as I want my family to share the occasion with me and I know it would mean a lot to my dad to walk me down the aisle because I''m the youngest, only daughter. While a wedding on a Tahitian island sounds great, it''s very expensive to get and stay there, is not particularly family friendly (my oldest brother has two young children) and frankly, I don''t want to spend my honeymoon with everyone.

So here''s my idea: do a small destination wedding in Hawaii and then continue onto Bora Bora, etc. (we live in CA) for our honeymoon. What do you guys think? My brother offered to rent a house in Oahu or Maui to hold the wedding, and as a place to stay for the immediate family. Has anyone done this? If so, any recommendations on where to rent? I would need at least a three bedroom house and would like one that backs up to a beach or is on a bluff that overlooks the ocean. Can I get everything accomplished for an August 2009 wedding or is that a pipe dream? Is an informal house wedding a good way to go or would I be better off with a resort? Thanks for your help/suggestions/advice!!

 

[Structenggirl]

We are having a destination wedding in Hawaii in March. We chose the island of Kauai, so I won''t be much help with Maui or Oahu. In Kauai, anyway, we are renting the Hanalei Faye estate on Hanalei Bay so that all the family can stay at the same location and we can have our wedding there as well. Another location on Kauai that we briefly considered before we found the house was the Waimea Plantation Cottages. I think our final count is 18 people including us.

You can most definitely pull this together by August. We got engaged in March 2008 and are getting married in March 2009. We booked the house in April and I found a coordinator about the same time. We''re going pretty low key, which it sounds like is your plan as well. The coordinator sent us a list of officiants and we picked one, and we hammered out some other little details (flowers/leis, etc) and we''ve been pretty much done for months. I think the only thing I have left is to make the reservation at the restaurant for dinner after the wedding, and I can''t even do that until the beginning of March.

Have fun!

 

[panda08]

Date: 12/30/2008 9:16:26 PM
Author: Structenggirl
We are having a destination wedding in Hawaii in March. We chose the island of Kauai, so I won''t be much help with Maui or Oahu. In Kauai, anyway, we are renting the Hanalei Faye estate on Hanalei Bay so that all the family can stay at the same location and we can have our wedding there as well. Another location on Kauai that we briefly considered before we found the house was the Waimea Plantation Cottages. I think our final count is 18 people including us.

You can most definitely pull this together by August. We got engaged in March 2008 and are getting married in March 2009. We booked the house in April and I found a coordinator about the same time. We''re going pretty low key, which it sounds like is your plan as well. The coordinator sent us a list of officiants and we picked one, and we hammered out some other little details (flowers/leis, etc) and we''ve been pretty much done for months. I think the only thing I have left is to make the reservation at the restaurant for dinner after the wedding, and I can''t even do that until the beginning of March.

Have fun!

Thanks for your response! Your wedding in Kauai should be absolutely beautiful. I vacationed there before and it''s a fab island, so rustic and unspoiled.

I hope you don''t mind but can I ask you some questions? I have a million thoughts running through my head. How did you find the place you rented? Did you decide on your venue before or after you knew how many people would attend? How did you find your coordinator? Would you mind telling me what you had her your coordinator do for you, e.g., venue set up, photographer, hair, makeup, room blocks, etc.? I''m waffling about whether I should get one. I have no idea how much they cost and whether they''re worth it. I can research the heck out of anything and be very organized but I''m not sure if I''ll have the patience to do all of that. Thank you!!!

 

[Structenggirl]

Hi! I spent some time on the Hawaii wedding board on the knot.com. A girl there has put together a large bio about getting married on Kauai. Most of the girls on that board are getting married on Oahu/Maui...you should check it out. It''s a great resource!

Regarding the place that we rented, FMIL knows some people that have rented the place before, so we just went for it. We had googled other places to stay there as well...the plantation cottages were high on our list because everyone could have their own cottage (or double up in cottages). We knew we wanted the wedding to be small...basically family only. We had a rough list in our heads of who would go and the house actually works perfectly. it has 6 bedrooms that fit 16 people and we rented the cottage on the location for ourselves. the cost of the house comes to about $200/night/room for everyone, which really isn''t that bad.

For the coordinator, I literally just googled "wedding coordinator Hawaii" and kind of cross referenced some of them with the girls on the knot and just chose one. About the same time that I contacted the coordinator I found a photographer through the bio on the knot and booked him myself, but the coordinator certainly could have done that. Many of her packages include photography. She gave me a list of officiants to choose from and contacted the one we chose, made the marriage license appointment, contacted the hair/makeup person for me and made appointments at the salon for my mom and I to have our nails done. She''s also taking care of the flowers - my bouquet and the leis and a little flower aisle. We''re going super low key...with 16 guests they are just going to stand for the ceremony, so we don''t need any set up for that. I didn''t really see the point in renting chairs, etc for 16 people to sit for maybe 20 minutes. lol.

I really think I could have pulled it together on my own, but thought that for $500 or so I could have her just take care of it and I didn''t have to worry about people not getting back to me, etc.

We had considered having dinner catered at the house after the wedding, and I would have sought her help in pulling that together (tables, chairs, tent, etc), but we''ve opted to just go out to dinner afterwards. I can handle that call! haha.

good luck! Hawaii in August should be beautiful!

 

[cocolaw]

I don''t really know about hawaii but we are considering doing our honeymoon there. We are also doing a destination wedding in Big Sur. I have the dress, we have the location. I have a list of a few vendors I will be calling soon. We are not having a band or dancing. We are having a seated dinner with a few stringed instruments in the background. Very low key! very close friends and family and thats it! It looks to me like just about everything can be done online. You can look at the photographers work, look at sample menus, find rental costs, everything! I would hire a coordinator if I was having a larger event, but I feel like I can manage this one. That''s my plan until I freak out in March.

 

[panda08]

Date: 12/31/2008 12:05:35 PM
Author: Structenggirl
Hi! I spent some time on the Hawaii wedding board on the knot.com. A girl there has put together a large bio about getting married on Kauai. Most of the girls on that board are getting married on Oahu/Maui...you should check it out. It''s a great resource!

Regarding the place that we rented, FMIL knows some people that have rented the place before, so we just went for it. We had googled other places to stay there as well...the plantation cottages were high on our list because everyone could have their own cottage (or double up in cottages). We knew we wanted the wedding to be small...basically family only. We had a rough list in our heads of who would go and the house actually works perfectly. it has 6 bedrooms that fit 16 people and we rented the cottage on the location for ourselves. the cost of the house comes to about $200/night/room for everyone, which really isn''t that bad.

For the coordinator, I literally just googled ''wedding coordinator Hawaii'' and kind of cross referenced some of them with the girls on the knot and just chose one. About the same time that I contacted the coordinator I found a photographer through the bio on the knot and booked him myself, but the coordinator certainly could have done that. Many of her packages include photography. She gave me a list of officiants to choose from and contacted the one we chose, made the marriage license appointment, contacted the hair/makeup person for me and made appointments at the salon for my mom and I to have our nails done. She''s also taking care of the flowers - my bouquet and the leis and a little flower aisle. We''re going super low key...with 16 guests they are just going to stand for the ceremony, so we don''t need any set up for that. I didn''t really see the point in renting chairs, etc for 16 people to sit for maybe 20 minutes. lol.

I really think I could have pulled it together on my own, but thought that for $500 or so I could have her just take care of it and I didn''t have to worry about people not getting back to me, etc.

We had considered having dinner catered at the house after the wedding, and I would have sought her help in pulling that together (tables, chairs, tent, etc), but we''ve opted to just go out to dinner afterwards. I can handle that call! haha.

good luck! Hawaii in August should be beautiful!

Thanks for your response! OMG, I must be a total retard because, for the life of me, I can''t figure out how to navigate The Knot''s website, especially it''s boards. I signed up and went on the boards to see if I could get some good info. Is it me or is there no rhyme or reason to how the board is organized? I did a search for "Maui" and nothing came up! Also, I looked at the vendors section thinking that there''d be reviews by the Knot''s members but there are none, even though the Knot has a link for members to post their reviews.

Sounds like you''re happy with your wedding coordinator. Would you mind sharing his/her/the company''s name?

 

[CNOS128]

I would much rather get married on Maui or Kauai . . . but a friend got married here in the backyard, which is right on the ocean. The house is on Oahu, and it was a lovely, intimate wedding.

 

[panda08]

Date: 12/31/2008 12:54:33 PM
Author: cocolaw
I don''t really know about hawaii but we are considering doing our honeymoon there. We are also doing a destination wedding in Big Sur. I have the dress, we have the location. I have a list of a few vendors I will be calling soon. We are not having a band or dancing. We are having a seated dinner with a few stringed instruments in the background. Very low key! very close friends and family and thats it! It looks to me like just about everything can be done online. You can look at the photographers work, look at sample menus, find rental costs, everything! I would hire a coordinator if I was having a larger event, but I feel like I can manage this one. That''s my plan until I freak out in March.

Your Big Sur wedding sounds wonderful! I''m also thinking about foregoing the band and dancing. Will your wedding be finished after dinner or do you have some sort of activity planned afterwards? I''m thinking about 20-30 people will attend and am wondering if it''ll be weird if we''re finished with dinner and it''s like "okay, wedding''s over!"

 

[panda08]

Date: 12/31/2008 4:17:14 PM
Author: TheBigT
I would much rather get married on Maui or Kauai . . . but a friend got married here in the backyard, which is right on the ocean. The house is on Oahu, and it was a lovely, intimate wedding.

Thanks! Wow, that house on Oahu looks like a great setting. I thought about Oahu because my SIL''s mom lives there and thought that maybe I could draft her to do some scouting for me but I''m leaning towards Maui because I''ve been there before and feel a bit more comfortable with the known rather than the unknown.

 

[Inanna]

I''m also renting a beach house for our small ceremony and reception (and vacation). I love the idea as opposed to having a wedding at a rather impersonal resort. This website has been extremely helpful in our search for the perfect beach house: http://www.vrbo.com/vacation-rentals/usa/hawaii. All the owners we''ve contacted thus far have been extremely friendly and eager to provide information.

 

[Structenggirl]

They must have changed the knot around because I can''t easily find my way around either! I bookmarked the hawaii page and the northern california page and only go there. haha. anyway, the Hawaii page is:

http://talk.theknot.com/boards/main_frame.aspx?page=ShowForum.aspx?ForumID=73

From there you should be able to get to other pages easier...there''s also a destination wedding page and a beach wedding page. I think you can get to them through the pull-down menu at the top right.

My coordinator is on Kauai...it''s alohanaweddings.com

Also, the kauai bio on the knot (if you are interested...there may be a similar maui/oahu one...I''m not sure) is:

http://community.theknot.com/cs/ks/user/page.aspx?username=kauaibio

 

[Structenggirl]

There is in fact a maui bio!:

http://www.theknot.com/co_profileview.htm?profilename=allthingsmaui

 

[honey22]

That sounds like a fabulous idea. I prefer that idea to having the whole clan follow you to Tahiti. Honestly, I think overwater bunglaows and children just don''t mix (many won''t allow children there) and they are super super expensive, it would be very hard on family members for accommodation costs I would say.

I love the idea of running away to get married, and then running even further for the honeymoon!!!