Hi,
So, we have these neighbours who are stinking up our own apartment inside from not washing. I think they've lived here for fifty or sixty years. They are a mother and son. The mother is well into her nineties, and the son must be in his early sixties. They are neighbourhood fixtures - everyone knows them and they are a part of the place, which is a historic Boston neighourhood. Without giving too much away location-wise, it's a famous district for a particular kind of food and nationality, and they hail from the country of the Old World from which this neighbourhood is formed. They're part of the Old Guard. I have lived here since 2007, my husband since 2005.
It's terribly sad, because the son is clearly mentally disabled, which is why he lives with his mother. It's hard to describe, and we don't know exactly what's wrong. I'll give you an example: he will start asking you if you use computers and will then talk about air traffic control and that you can control the weather with computers, and other crazy stuff. You can't have a normal conversation with him, sadly. Once in the basement, instead of putting his clothes into the toploader and pressing the button, he had filled the machine and opened it, and was dragging the clothes around instead of letting the machine wash. He has myopia - he seems to wear two layers of glasses - and he walks a little oddly. And periodically, we can hear him going absolutely nuts in his apartment, shouting and screaming and swearing. (He has never done this in public and the building, in general, sees him as a non-dangerous, non-threatening "savant"/"genius" type. I agree with this assessment. He has never acted in a remotely threatening manner to anyone in the building, which is full of people who have been here many years.)
The problem? He never washes, and he smells so bad that the entire hallway smells and...wait for it...the hallway inside our apartment smells sometimes too. You can tell by his grease-laden hair that he never washes. The smell, in summer, is awful. If we wanted to sell the place, it would have a bad effect on us. It's always been this way, and we have tried to ignore it, but it just gets worse each year.
His mother is so old that she's probably lost her sense of smell, although she is very sharp mentally. But she's really old, you know? No one in the 'hood remembers how old she is! So given the state of the place - their apt smells also - and the way he reeks, the two of them living together is a bit like the blind leading the blind!
The plot thickens, though. A few doors down the street, not sure exactly where, he has a brother. The brother is normal, also a genius-type but this guy is a professor at Harvard, married with adult children. Sometimes they visit.
I do get concerned about fire. Their kitchen is behind the wall of a corridor that leads to the stairs and lift. If they left the stove on and there was a fire, our escape route would be blocked.
However, since the fire station is five doors down, I guess we shouldn't worry too much, and we have a balcony so we could practically shout for them from where we are. And there are other neighbours who are fire risks, too: One lady living alone who is so old she really can't walk, or see, and two alcoholics - a mother and son who live in separate apartments. Always the way with apts - someone could be smoking in bed and you wouldn't know.
The core problem is the stench. Now, I know we could call all sorts of agencies. However, I do not want to start something that will be very unpleasant for them. One is elderly and the other is incapable. In this country, I get the feeling that once something has been put into action, the procedure is followed through come what may and not so gently, either. A man in LA who was smelly like this, William Norwell, was harrassed with endless notices and taken to court and had ten cops in his place pointing guns at him! I do not want this for them. They are usually very quiet and they can't help their problems. Deep down, I feel extremely sorry for them.
So, what to do? Talk to the brother? If we do that, we will never be able to report them because it will be obvious who's got the authorities onto them. But as I said above, I don't think I want to unleash all that onto their poor confused heads.
I just don't know what to do about the smell and would be interested to know if anyone has any thoughts. My husband and I are quite stuck. Personally, I don't think they're capable of living alone - she clearly can't look after him, and she herself in her nineties. Since they are vulnerable, I don't want to sic all the city agencies on them. I think these actions can take on a life of their own, and that's what I don't want. It would terrify the poor souls.
It's possible that the brother wants them to move into some sort of sheltered accommodation and that they won't move. I wouldn't mind them being there at all if the son would only wash and the smell would go away.
Thoughts, anyone??
P.S. Just want to add that we are all owners in this building, so no landlords to complain to. I did talk to someone on the board (it;s a condo building) a couple of weeks ago and she said she'd consult the condo association's lawyer - who is the son of Bette Davis, by the way!
So, we have these neighbours who are stinking up our own apartment inside from not washing. I think they've lived here for fifty or sixty years. They are a mother and son. The mother is well into her nineties, and the son must be in his early sixties. They are neighbourhood fixtures - everyone knows them and they are a part of the place, which is a historic Boston neighourhood. Without giving too much away location-wise, it's a famous district for a particular kind of food and nationality, and they hail from the country of the Old World from which this neighbourhood is formed. They're part of the Old Guard. I have lived here since 2007, my husband since 2005.
It's terribly sad, because the son is clearly mentally disabled, which is why he lives with his mother. It's hard to describe, and we don't know exactly what's wrong. I'll give you an example: he will start asking you if you use computers and will then talk about air traffic control and that you can control the weather with computers, and other crazy stuff. You can't have a normal conversation with him, sadly. Once in the basement, instead of putting his clothes into the toploader and pressing the button, he had filled the machine and opened it, and was dragging the clothes around instead of letting the machine wash. He has myopia - he seems to wear two layers of glasses - and he walks a little oddly. And periodically, we can hear him going absolutely nuts in his apartment, shouting and screaming and swearing. (He has never done this in public and the building, in general, sees him as a non-dangerous, non-threatening "savant"/"genius" type. I agree with this assessment. He has never acted in a remotely threatening manner to anyone in the building, which is full of people who have been here many years.)
The problem? He never washes, and he smells so bad that the entire hallway smells and...wait for it...the hallway inside our apartment smells sometimes too. You can tell by his grease-laden hair that he never washes. The smell, in summer, is awful. If we wanted to sell the place, it would have a bad effect on us. It's always been this way, and we have tried to ignore it, but it just gets worse each year.
His mother is so old that she's probably lost her sense of smell, although she is very sharp mentally. But she's really old, you know? No one in the 'hood remembers how old she is! So given the state of the place - their apt smells also - and the way he reeks, the two of them living together is a bit like the blind leading the blind!
The plot thickens, though. A few doors down the street, not sure exactly where, he has a brother. The brother is normal, also a genius-type but this guy is a professor at Harvard, married with adult children. Sometimes they visit.
I do get concerned about fire. Their kitchen is behind the wall of a corridor that leads to the stairs and lift. If they left the stove on and there was a fire, our escape route would be blocked.
However, since the fire station is five doors down, I guess we shouldn't worry too much, and we have a balcony so we could practically shout for them from where we are. And there are other neighbours who are fire risks, too: One lady living alone who is so old she really can't walk, or see, and two alcoholics - a mother and son who live in separate apartments. Always the way with apts - someone could be smoking in bed and you wouldn't know.
The core problem is the stench. Now, I know we could call all sorts of agencies. However, I do not want to start something that will be very unpleasant for them. One is elderly and the other is incapable. In this country, I get the feeling that once something has been put into action, the procedure is followed through come what may and not so gently, either. A man in LA who was smelly like this, William Norwell, was harrassed with endless notices and taken to court and had ten cops in his place pointing guns at him! I do not want this for them. They are usually very quiet and they can't help their problems. Deep down, I feel extremely sorry for them.
So, what to do? Talk to the brother? If we do that, we will never be able to report them because it will be obvious who's got the authorities onto them. But as I said above, I don't think I want to unleash all that onto their poor confused heads.
I just don't know what to do about the smell and would be interested to know if anyone has any thoughts. My husband and I are quite stuck. Personally, I don't think they're capable of living alone - she clearly can't look after him, and she herself in her nineties. Since they are vulnerable, I don't want to sic all the city agencies on them. I think these actions can take on a life of their own, and that's what I don't want. It would terrify the poor souls.
It's possible that the brother wants them to move into some sort of sheltered accommodation and that they won't move. I wouldn't mind them being there at all if the son would only wash and the smell would go away.
Thoughts, anyone??
P.S. Just want to add that we are all owners in this building, so no landlords to complain to. I did talk to someone on the board (it;s a condo building) a couple of weeks ago and she said she'd consult the condo association's lawyer - who is the son of Bette Davis, by the way!
It's so bad that it comes up through the floors where there are cabinets and plumbing. I've found odor absorbers that do a decent job, but it's still there. It was horrible when I had morning sickness. 
Any connection you can make with a helping community resource, is a good one, so never feel bad about not doing enough - its not your scope of expertise, so don't feel guilty. Refer onwards and know you've done what you can do. Just being alert and aware of those in need, and then making an anonymous call, can be the little 'ooomph' that person needed to be connected with help. You have pretty big challenges in your job, too!
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