Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

COVID-Are Your Friends and Family Actually Now Your Enemies?

S

SallyB

Guest
I don’t mean this to be inflammatory. But I read the articles in @kenny ’s post about COVID recently becoming 10x more infectious. And it made me think about my college anthropology class and why humans formed tribes and clans. It was for protection. There was “safety in numbers”, as I’m sure everyone knows.

But now, these very same clan/tribe members could kill us if we get too close to them. Except for the parent/young child relationship, all of these other relationships pose more of a threat to our individual survival than a buffer against danger. It may sound harsh, but if you risk someone’s life in the name of socializing, doesn’t that make you an enemy rather than a friend/family member?

So, I will keep everyone at a distance, except for my husband, because we share a home. And I hope he will do the same for me. Phone calls, texts, video chats are great. But face-to-face? No way. Friends and family members don’t intentionally, or even neglectfully, put each others’ lives at risk.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

chrono

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 22, 2004
Messages
37,509
Enemy is too harsh a descriptor. I definitely have no intention of spending time with anyone else outside of immediate family in my home. I will visit my parents if they have an emergency but otherwise no, it’s limited to calls, text, WA only.
 

JrJ

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 30, 2018
Messages
273
My husband and I have three homes, one occupied by us, another in Tx occupied by my dad and another in NC. We also have a camper.
I would leave and live out of state or in the camper if he didn't respect my wishes for my health. I would protect him and he should know that and reciprocate.
I almost felt my in-laws were my enemies for a short while because I made clear to them to not go shopping for 3 days before coming over to our home (to give them time to show symptoms) , I love them and was trying to be nice. Well, they wouldn't honor the request and would come over RIGHT after visits to stores (I guess they didn't think I would catch on), so I banned them completely. That of course almost turned my husband into my enemy.
 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
32,396
We haven't done any family social distancing at all. Nothing had change for us during this lockdown. Wife and I are babysitting our grandkids. The grandkids need to be fed and have their diapers changed.

Am I scare about contracting the virus from family members? Yes and no, but we have no other choice b/c both of our daughters are working full time. DD #1 is working from home but she can't work and take care of her baby at the same time.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,874
Thinking of any subgroup, whether it be family and friends, nice people, people of your race/income/education level/ neighborhood/religion as enemy or foe is really ignorant! :doh:

All humans are equally likely to have C19.

The more you socially distance from EVERY human the more you are fighting C19.
I make an exception only with my SO.
Other people who are more effective in combating the progress of C19 forsake even their SO and live alone.
 
Last edited:
S

SallyB

Guest
All humans are equally likely to have C19.
Thinking of any subgroup, such as family and friends, as enemy or foe is really ignorant! :doh:

GMAFB! How stupid! :rolleyes:
Perhaps you misunderstood, @kenny. Let me clarify. All people, especially those who are at higher risk for COVID complications, must view every human who is not self-isolating with them as a potential foe, yes we must. And these potential foes include family and friends. Family and friends are “supposed to“ look out for us, unlike strangers. But some of them are knowingly exposing us to a deadly virus. With family and friends like these, who needs enemies?
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,874
Y
Perhaps you misunderstood, @kenny. Let me clarify. All people, especially those who are at higher risk for COVID complications, must view every human who is not self-isolating with them as a potential foe, yes we must. And these potential foes include family and friends. Family and friends are supposed to look out for us, unlike strangers. But some of them are knowingly exposing us to a deadly virus. With family and friends like these, who needs enemies?
I understand.
I just oppose the term foe, or enemy.
I oppose us-them mentality; that's how gang members think.

People vary.
Some don't care about getting or giving C19.
Many think it's not real, just a a liberal or Chinese whatever. :roll:

I won't consider those folks to be enemy or foe - just ignorant, led by our ignorant president.
 
S

SallyB

Guest
No one wants to think this way, me included. But the world has been turned on its head, and may not right itself for many years.

If people in the U.S. don’t start seeing things the way people in many other countries do, almost every ER and hospital bed in the country will be full several weeks after Thanksgiving dinner.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,874
If those who have C19 (family or stranger) are thought of as foe or enemy it's yet another group who will be discriminated against for something that is often not their fault.

I just want to stay far far far away from yet another example of that ugly dark side of human behavior - blaming the victim.

IMO the only enemy/foe here is the virus itself.
 
Last edited:

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
5,679
While enemie or foe sounds like a harsh word its definatly worth remembering the harm loved ones can do to family and friends by spreading covid 19 to vaunarable people instead of taking sensible thoughtful precautions

Like people who knowingly drive around with passengers while under the influence ....hmm that's a criminal offence
 
S

SallyB

Guest
While enemie or foe sounds like a harsh word its definatly worth remembering the harm loved ones can do to family and friends by spreading covid 19 to vaunarable people instead of taking sensible thoughtful precautions

Like people who knowingly drive around with passengers while under the influence ....hmm that's a criminal offence
Exactly!
 
S

SallyB

Guest
If those who have C19 (family or stranger) are thought of as foe or enemy it's yet another group who will be discriminated against for something that is often not their fault.

I just want to stay far far far away from yet another example of that ugly dark side of human behavior - blaming the victim.

IMO the only enemy/foe here is the virus itself.
Umm, I beg to differ. Yes, some people get COVID through no fault of their own. Of course. Health care workers for example. But a daughter who goes to a packed beach, doesn’t social distance or wear a mask, then goes to her elderly father‘s house, passes cv him and he dies? Is the daughter a victim, or a perpetrator? A true family member, or a foe?
 
S

SallyB

Guest
The trouble is, I don’t think we have time as a country to argue semantics or worry about hurt feelings when it comes to COVID. Everyone needs to do their part, everyone needs to be accountable for their actions. And that includes those closest to us.
 
S

SallyB

Guest
And we certainly don’t have time to deal with all the people who believe they‘re being robbed of their personal liberties if they’re required to wear a mask in public or avoid congregating in large groups.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,874
Yeah, lots of people suck by not being prudent and careful.
I've been railing against them from the beginning for threatening my life.

Still, I won't put them into a jar labeled enemy or foe.
Doing so is over the top disturbing and creepy to me.
 
Last edited:
S

SallyB

Guest
Yeah, lots of people suck by not being prudent and careful.
I've been railing against them from the beginning.

Still, I won't put them into a jar labeled enemy or foe.
That’s OK, just avoid them.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
5,679
I think this is different to a family like the Dancing fire family, who are happy to take the risk together

this is about people who just don't care how their actions effect others, even those that they really love and presumably care about

Is going out for a beer really more important than keeping your grandparents alive ?
I would do anything to have had a few more years with my grandma and grandad
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,874
That’s OK, just avoid them.
Oh, I do, I do.
I'd say I'm in the top 1%, maybe top 0.1%, when it comes to social distancing, hand washing, mask wearing, freedom-sacrificing, staying at home.

But this is not just about Kenny.
It's about all humans on the planet.
We are all equal targets in the gun sites of C-19.
 
S

SallyB

Guest
I believe there are too many of us on the fence about social gatherings. Maybe feeling guilty because “It’s my favorite nephew Justin’s birthday. He just wants us to come over for a half hour on the patio for cake. It’ll be OK, we’ll sit far apart”. Well, no, it may not be OK, and shame on the nephew for laying a guilt trip on his older aunt. He knows the score, we’ve been bombarded with cv news for 3-4 months now.

I’m saying draw a line in the sand. Mentally label someone for what they are if it helps you to say, “Thanks for the invite, but I’m at high risk for COVID complications so I’m going to have to decline. Doctor’s orders!”
 

LisaRN

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 1, 2007
Messages
3,365
The good news is that adult family members get to choose if they want to socialize with other family members or stay home and self isolate. I don't think I would call any of my family members an enemy for inviting me over. Now if they kidnapped me that would be another story.
 
S

SallyB

Guest
The good news is that adult family members get to choose if they want to socialize with other family members or stay home and self isolate. I don't think I would call any of my family members an enemy for inviting me over. Now if they kidnapped me that would be another story.
You would think, but it’s often not that straightforward. There’s a lot of guilting that goes on in many families, and some members have more say so about socializing than others:
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
5,679
You would think, but it’s often not that straightforward. There’s a lot of guilting that goes on in many families, and some members have more say so about socializing than others:
That's a fair point
I have a SIL who likes to think she is matriarch once my MIL passed
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,874
I believe there are too many of us on the fence about social gatherings. Maybe feeling guilty because “It’s my favorite nephew Justin’s birthday. He just wants us to come over for a half hour on the patio for cake. It’ll be OK, we’ll sit far apart”. Well, no, it may not be OK, and shame on the nephew for laying a guilt trip on his older aunt. He knows the score, we’ve been bombarded with cv news for 3-4 months now.

I’m saying draw a line in the sand. Mentally label someone for what they are if it helps you to say, “Thanks for the invite, but I’m at high risk for COVID complications so I’m going to have to decline. Doctor’s orders!”
I am the most anti-get together person on the planet.
I'm unhappy many in my neighborhood are still socializing, especially with alcohol and no masks.
People must think just because it's family and friends (aka "nice" people) there's no reason to insult them by being careful or declining invitations.

But Murkins are obsessed with their freedom, comfort and fun.
Spoiled brats, I say.

They just suck.
Still, I'm unwilling to label them enemies or foes.
 

1ofakind

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 22, 2012
Messages
1,126
You would think, but it’s often not that straightforward. There’s a lot of guilting that goes on in many families, and some members have more say so about socializing than others:
Responding to peer pressure/guilt trip/manipulation is a choice. If we are talking about 12 year olds then at least I can understand how that happens.
As an adult this should not be an issue.
 
S

SallyB

Guest
Responding to peer pressure/guilt trip/manipulation is a choice. If we are talking about 12 year olds then at least I can understand how that happens.
As an adult this should not be an issue.
I’m not sure that the parents in their 80’s in the above article felt that they had much of a choice. The mother just stopped by to drop off a gift and likely got hugged/kissed by family members or they did something else that gave her COVID. The father, also in his 80s, has since died from COVID. You can see the chain of infection in the article.
 

mellowyellowgirl

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 17, 2014
Messages
3,951
I dislike most of my family so I'm only seeing my 30yr old sister who knows exactly who I've seen, where I've eaten out, shopped etc etc.

She sees her friends and I'm happy to assume that risk to see my baby.

Covid19 is a fantastic excuse for ceasing contact with family!

I think people should just stay away from their relos, don't go to funerals, weddings etc
 

OboeGal

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 22, 2017
Messages
780
Responding to peer pressure/guilt trip/manipulation is a choice. If we are talking about 12 year olds then at least I can understand how that happens.
As an adult this should not be an issue.
You are right that we adults all have the choice ultimately in how we respond to pressure and manipulation from others, and therefore bear ultimate responsibility for our well-being when it comes to family or friend gatherings. I don't care how much others pressure me or who they are; I ain't going anywhere until there's a vaccine or an effective treatment. What I believe @SallyB's point is, though, is that others who are supposed to be people who care about us having gatherings, which is undeniably risky for any who attend, and then proceeding to try and manipulate or pressure those of us they supposedly care about to attend and take that risk, are demonstrating a lack of regard for our well-being and are prioritizing their desires over what could be life and death for us. That, at least for me, causes me to view them differently in terms of whether or not they are someone that I can trust to be unselfish and to truly value my well-being, and that consequently affects who they are in my life and what relationship I wish to have with them, even after COVID. In essence, when the chips were down, they showed me their true colors.
 
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    Push Present: Engagement Ring Upgrade
    Push Present: Engagement Ring Upgrade
    20th Anniversary Upgrade
    20th Anniversary Upgrade
    Horses for Courses: Polo Match Jewelry
    Horses for Courses: Polo Match Jewelry

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.
Top