CIO users, a question

[fieryred33143]

Sophia has always been a great sleeper. She goes through small phases of not wanting to fall asleep but we usually just give a kiss and walk out. She'll sometimes fall right to sleep, complain a little, or cry for 10 mins the most. After that, she's out for the night.

Over the past week, she has been waking up at night crying. We have no idea why. We check her temp, diaper, teeth, make sure she's not gassy, etc. before resorting to rocking to get her back to sleep. She has been between 2-4am and again at 6am. And tonight she went down at 8 and woke up 10 mins ago.

My question is what should we do? Do we go in and check on her immediately? Do we wait until she's been crying for a certain amount of time? Do we just do straight CIO?

I went in there and didn't pick her up. I just said Sophia lay down, night-night and she did lay back down but she wouldn't let me leave or shut the door. I walked out but left the door open. Do you think maybe a night light would help? She has never needed one in the past.

This is new to us since she hasn't woken up multiple times overnight since about 6 months.

 

[gailrmv]

Yikes that's tough. If she had never been a good sleeper I would say CIO is in order. But, she has been a good sleeper! So I would probably not do hard core CIO personally, at least not yet. Maybe it is a phase that she will work out on her own. I'd give it a couple more nights and see which way things are heading. Does anything calm her down - how about if you go in and comfort her? Does that help or make it worse?

The sleep gods are so flukey, aren't they? We'll go a couple nights of no problem and then something will happen and mess it all up!

 

[fieryred33143]

TDM-going in to comfort her only works if we either rock her or if we sit next to her crib until she falls asleep. Rocking only takes a few minutes before she falls back to sleep but as soon as she's down, she wakes up again. If we sit next to her bed, it can take up to 30 minutes.

I think she gets to light sleep and realizes she's alone then wakes up crying. Before I could hear her shift around in the crib but she wouldn't wake up. Now if she shifts around, she does wake up and cries.

Sje actually started doing this last week but this weekend we went OOT and she slept next to our bed in her PNP. I noticed that she was waking up at night but would see us and go right back to sleep.

 

[Nashville]

My daughter goes through little phases of this, maybe once every 2 months or so. We usually do kind of a "three strikes" method with her and it's always worked after the second night, at worst the third. We will go in, but we don't turn the lights on. We don't talk to her or take her out of bed, we just make sure she's not wet, we kiss her forehead to make sure she's not hot, we fluff her blanket, give her a sippy cup of water and leave. If she continues or sounds very distressed, we go in (lights still off, no talking or noise) and rub her back. Then we leave again, and if she still continues on we let her cry. Our rule is no more than 30 minutes, but luckily it's never lasted that long, and if it ever did she was sick or teething and not just refusing to sleep.

This works for us because we feel as though her needs are being met while still being firm about bedtime. We also learned NO MILK after dinner, water only. She was waking up for a snack a lot of the time, and once she only got water she just stopped bothering haha. Kids are very clever indeed.

Nightlights are a HUGE help. Sometimes babies become panicked if they do wake up and can't see. We keep a teddy bear by her bedroom door, and usually if she wakes up and sees the bear she goes right back to sleep. She could also be in the beginning stages of bad dreams. We also found that adding a fan was a major MAJOR help in getting her to stay asleep. I think having the fresh air prevented the room from getting stuffy and the white noise too.

 

[Mara]

Fiery... a few months ago you were having the problem of her not wanting you to leave the room until she was asleep. How did you guys get around that... has she been falling asleep ok and letting you just put her down and leave the room or ?

I was reading on the 7mo baby center that separation anxiety can manifest itself in diff ways and one way is night wakeups even if you've had a baby that sleeps great at night. Just wondering if it's somehow related...maybe another form of it or the next stage or something. I know S is way older than 7mo but just an idea.

As for what to do--not sure. At night I have a hard time letting J CIO if it's like dead of night 2am or something--because I know he just gets more and more awake and is so stubborn he'll just keep crying. And the more worked up he is, the less he wants to settle back down. The 2 times I have tried it, it was a total failure. But if we do CIO at his bedtime, he'll just do it for a few min then pass out. Middle of the night wakes are so much harder IMO-- because the kids go through so many diff stages/phases...there's also teething, growth spurts etc. It's so hard to know why--and I have a harder time doing it.

 

[monarch64]

At the risk of saying some completely wrong things...I present to you my experience:

I was rocked/read to from the age of 2 on. My earliest memories are of my mother rocking me to sleep either singing lullabies to me in the chair I am currently sitting in (walnut rocker) or being read to from whatever book she chose. I can remember, verbatim, every single lullaby she ever sang to me and my brother (who was older than me by 4 years). We never "CIO." I even posted a thread here before PS changed over entitled "Lullabies." I'm a huge proponent.

I don't want to stir any pots here. I just want to offer what my experience was and hope that it's helpful and I certainly don't expect that it will, or that I receive any whatever. I just realize that in my 30's all of my peers are going through this motherhood thing and if there is anything I can offer to help them, I will do so.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Hunter does this sometimes. Usually we give it 2-3 nights of going in, comforting, rocking, sometimes bringing him down to sit with us quietly watching some TV. We make sure to give him 8 hour ibuprophen (motrin) before bed because for him it is always teething that causes him to wake (you cannot always feel the teeth, she is about the age for molars so that is my guess). Once we know he is not in pain, we just let him CIO if need be. We find that 2 days of doing in and rocking etc creates a habit all over, and then there is one night of CIO to get back on track.

It sounds draconian, but there you have it.

ETA He is a great sleeper to, 12 hours a night, but once every once in a while he will get out of sync and into a new habit of waking and hanging out with us. We have had to use CIO maybe 2-3 times in the last 10 months, since he originally started sleeping all night long, to get him back on track.

 

[steph72276]

I remember way back in the day Andrew would go through little phases of wakeups, especially if we had been on trips and he was used to spending the night sleeping beside us. I bet that is the issue. She got used to having you there in the middle of the night and wants you there with her now and doesn't understand why you're not. I never really let him CIO in the middle of the night, I would go in and rock him for a bit and get him back down. It definitely sucked because I was working as a teacher then and had to get up at 5am, but I noticed these phases only lasted a week or so and then it was back to normal sleep. Not to be a downer here, but honestly these phases probably lasted on and off until he was 3 1/2 or so. Once was in a big boy bed, it was just different because he could walk to my bedside and wake me up that way! Maybe give her a week or so of comforting and see if she falls back into her good sleep routine before you try anything else.

 

[fieryred33143]

Mara-Yes she did go through that a few months ago. it was specifically with trying to get her to sleep. It only happened when I would put her to sleep, she would cry a lot. But when R put her to bed, not a peep so he did bedtime for a few days until she got over it. We tried having him go in to put her back to sleep but it didn't matter who it was.

Mon-We wouldn't mind rocking if it was effective. We used to rock her to sleep from newborn until about 6 months. What we learned as she got older was that the more she needs to fall asleep, the less sleep she would get. When we put her down drowsy and she falls asleep on her own, she sleeps a lot longer (12 hours) and it works faster than rocking. Before bed we read books on the glider, then she gets her pjs and a bottle back on the glider. I believe her putting herself to sleep is why she's been such a great sleeper these last 8 months.

DD-I think if she does it again tonight, we'll try the tylenol. I also don't want to create the habit of her needing to be rocked to sleep. I think last night with her waking so soon after falling asleep kind of showed that she's falling into a routine of needing us there. We've also used CIO a handful of times in the past 8 months and it's usually after something changed up the normal routine.

Steph-I think you're right that she got used to having us there. We're going to give it a few more days and see what happens.

So after waking around 9 last night, she slept all night. Hopefully that means she's getting back on track.

 

[packrat]

London has always been a good sleeper, but sometimes she has a few nights with problems, even now at almost 7. It's tough w/little kids b/c who knows what is going on in their minds. Sometimes London couldn't find her duck, or Trapper couldn't find his Linus and Moo (blankets). Bad dreams, sad dreams, growing pains, maybe they slept funny and smushed an ear (I still do that and it hurts like the dickens)-it's kind of a crap shoot sometimes on what the problem is. If it continues for more than a couple nights, what we've found is that it's like they forget they're supposed to sleep thru the night. I would give them a little shot of benadryl before bed for the next few nights to get them back in the habit again, and then not have any problems. I don't do it w/London anymore, and haven't for a few years b/c she's old enough now that we talk about what's bothering her.

 

[Sabine]

Fiery Jacks has been doing this too, for about 2 weeks now or so. I'm not sure what it's from, but I'm guessing it's either teething pain, gas from starting milk, being overtired from dropping to one nap, nightmares, or the fact that he just started walking and the sleep is disrupted from that (I think it happened when he started crawling too). Haha, I'm not making any headway at narrowing it down either, although last night I gave him some mylicon and some ibuprofin before bed and he didn't make a peep!

What works for us is to just not go in. He sleeps with his seahorse, and he'll cry out a few times, then I hear the seahorse start to play and he gets quiet. Sometimes he'll cry out again when the seahorse turns off, and then he'll turn it on again, but usually it only takes once.

He's been waking once early in the night and once, twice, or three times in the early morning lately. It stinks and I'm hoping it passes soon, but not going in works for us.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Fiery Jacks has been doing this too, for about 2 weeks now or so. I'm not sure what it's from, but I'm guessing it's either teething pain, gas from starting milk, being overtired from dropping to one nap, nightmares, or the fact that he just started walking and the sleep is disrupted from that (I think it happened when he started crawling too). Haha, I'm not making any headway at narrowing it down either, although last night I gave him some mylicon and some ibuprofin before bed and he didn't make a peep!

That has been our experience too... when Hunter wakes it is usually teething, and then if we give him pain reliever, its all better!

We find the teething goes in cycles, where he will need the pain reliever for about 4-5 days then not need it for a week or more, then need it for 4-5 days. I talked to the pharmacist and the doctor, and both said one single dose per day is so much lower than the max recommended that there is no harm at all in giving it to them each night for a week if you need to. Thei kidneys can break it down in that low dose without any troubles. So I now opt to medicate him when we think he needs it (cheweing on things, drooling etc) and help him not feel pain. We give him the motrin with dinner so it is in effect by bedtime. If you think he is in pain, then I totally suggest just giving him the medicine!

 

[Pandora II]

I'd put money on either teething or that she's learning to walk.

Daisy is now a great evening and night sleeper - she used to wake every hour or so during the evening which was a total PITA as I kept having to go in and feed her back to sleep again, but hasn't done for about 5 months now. Except when she's got teeth about to start coming through or she's going through a milestone/growth spurt.

Even though she still sleeps with us there are nights where she just tosses and turns and cries even though she's fast asleep - and if she was alone she'd definitely wake up completely - and it's really hard to get her comfortable. I found giving her Calpol (like your Tylenol I think) every night for a week really helped. A week later all four pre-molars started to come through and she's been fine.

I would try the Tylenol before trying CIO. I do think that if she's being like she is that it's for a reason rather than just being 'difficult' or 'manipulative' and so I wouldn't think leaving her to cry is fair.

 

[vespergirl]

I would try the nightlight. My son never needed one until he was around 18 months, and since then he's been sleeping with several lights on. I have no idea how he sleeps in a room that's daylight bright, but it soothes him and he sleeps, so whatever works.

Also, is it possible that Sophia is getting molars? When Andrew's came in he was very cranky. Good luck!