Childhood friend only invited our mothers?

[E B]

My cousin and I grew up with a family of girls (4 sisters, all 2 years apart) when we were very young. While my cousin lost touch early, I stayed friends with all of them into college. My best friend, the 3rd sister and I had a falling out, but I stayed friends with the youngest.

The oldest one is getting married this November. My mother got an invitation to her wedding in the mail, and I just assumed it said my name as well (since they knew my mother somewhat, but were friends with me for years).

When I called to remind my mom to RSVP for me, she told me that she and my aunt's (my cousin's mother) invitations were only addressed to them. Not to my cousin and I.

I think that since the invitations were not addressed to us as well, we aren't invited. But wouldn't that be odd? Why would she invite our mothers, but not us? My mom is *insistent* on RSVPing for me anyway, even though I know that isn't proper etiquette.

What is the proper thing to do in this situation?

 

[Kismet]

I think since your name isn''t on the invitation you''re going to have to assume that you''re not invited. It would be rude to add it just because you think it should be there. You might have your mom call the bride or the mother of the bride to ask and make sure.

When one of my cousins got married, he invited only my mother and one of my brothers to the wedding. Myself and my other two brothers didn''t get an invite at all. None of us were living at home at that point so it wasn''t a total slap in the face, but it still ticked my mother off something fierce.

 

[E B]

Thank you for the advice, Kismet.

I can''t believe that A) the bride (an old friend of MINE) decides to just invite my mother and B) that my mom didn''t tell me about this until now! I booked a plane ticket 1500 miles away for this wedding I''m not invited to!

I told my mom not to RSVP for me until she talks to the bride''s mother.

Jeez. What a headache.

 

[ephemery1]

Hmmm... I would be confused too!! Is it a formal invitation? Big wedding? If the whole thing were pretty casual, she might have just sent an invite out to your mom and assumed she would pass the word along to you. But if she is having a more formal wedding and seems to be following typical "wedding etiquette" with everything else, then most likely she knew what she was doing when she addressed the invite to just your mom. Regardless of WHY she did it. Maybe the 3rd sister had some influence?

Could you find out anything from the youngest one, since you guys still stay in touch?

 

[MelissaSue]

hhmmmm.. I had an old friend from h.s. that my mom became friends with her mom.. We decided to invite both the mom and the daughter but it was more because my mom wanted to invite her mom.