Changing all three names?!

[smithsmith]

Am I crazy for even thinking of doing this?

My maiden name is something like (Noelle) (Marie) (Smith).

My FH's last name is something like Kowalski, and I plan to take his last name.

Is it even possible to change ALL three of my names after marriage? Or would I just be creating a nightmare for myself? I have thought of doing:

(Noelle-Marie) (Smith) (Kowalski)

It's really important to me to keep all three of my original names, as well as adding my new husband's. My current first and middle name sort of go together well...like how French people often use hyphenated first names.

What do you think? Would the Social Security office even let me do it if I wanted to? The ethnic sounds of all my names will clash horribly regardless of what I do. LOL!

 

[vc10um]

I think in many, if not all, states you need a court order to change your full name. If you want to go through with that, go for it!

Otherwise, I'd just take your maiden name as a second middle, or just take your husband's last name as a second last name.

 

[Clairitek]

I think you should do what makes you happy! But be warned that a lot of places don't recognize the hyphen. I have a hyphenated last name and one state where I had a license didn't include it.

 

[swingirl]

NoelleMarie Smith Kowalski. NOELLEMARIE SMITH KOWALSKI

If you will like your new name then change it. You will loose the hyphen and your name will end up in all caps on many legal and medical documents. But it's your name and you should have it anyway you choose.

 

[smithsmith]

Thanks for the advice on hyphens, etc. I do know a Mary-Theresa who always ends up becoming Marytheresa.

At least I still have a year to make up my mind!

 

[Clairitek]

The answer that suits you will come in time! I waited until I had been married for almost five months before I changed anything. I really wanted to make sure I was happy with the choice.

Enjoy the rest of your wedding planning!

 

[stephbolt]

I think, as VC said, you will need a court order to officially change your first name. I took my maiden name as my middle, and I had to fight with the DMV to get them to make that change without a court order, even though social security had already made it with no questions. I'd research the requirements in your state a little to decide if it's worth it for you to do this. FWIW I do have several friends who have become First Middle Maiden Last (with the middle/maiden as two official middle names) so that may be another option for you to consider. Good luck!

 

[MissStepcut]

I know someone who did exactly what you're describing. It worked out

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I needed a court order to legally make my maiden name a second middle name and it was not bad at all. I filled out the paperwork at home, then went to court and a judge was able to change it that day (sometimes they assign a court date). If changing your name makes you happiest, then the court process is fairly easy.

I consulted with a lawyer about having my name cosmetically changed at the DMV/SS office vs. a legal name change. He said that if the state allows you to change your name on the marriage certificate, then you can legally change it that way. In my state (MA), you can only change your last name on the marriage certificate, hence why I needed the court order. I don't think any states allow you to change your first name on the marriage certificate. I may be wrong, but just wanted to pass on that info.

 

[smithsmith]

Thanks so much everyone, it's good to know that the court process may not be that difficult. I will do more research on how that works in my state.

My second choice of naming is to do the two middle name thing:

(Noelle) (Marie Smith) (Kowalski)

I just can't decide what to do. I don't know why I always have to make everything so hard on myself!

ETA: It looks like the process for my county is to submit fingerprints to the FBI for a criminal check. Then you file paperwork with the court and pay about $90 in fees. If the court approves the new name, you must publish it three times over 21 days in a local newspaper. At that point, the judge will finalize the name change decree, and you are legally called by the new name.

Sounds kind of time consuming, but not really that bad.

 

[jstarfireb]

I may be missing something, but wouldn't it just be easier to hyphenate your last name (especially if you live in a state that won't let you change your first name without a court order)? Then you would be Noelle Marie Smith-Kowalski. You could use either Smith or Kowalski socially and informally as your last name (or Smith professionally and Kowalski socially, etc.). It was important for me to keep all 3 of my names as well, but important for my husband that I take his in some way, so I hyphenated the last name.

For what it's worth, I think (Noelle) (Marie Smith) (Kowalski) looks too much like (Noelle) (Marie) (Smith Kowalski). So if you do that, people will think you just have two last names rather than two middle names. It's impossible to tell the difference on paper, and you'll constantly be explaining to everyone that your last name is Kowalski, not Smith Kowalski or Smith-Kowalski.

ETA: The ethnicities of my and my husband's last names also clash. My last name is very Eastern European, and his is very Chinese. They're still hyphenated.