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jewelryjunkie

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
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78
I love this website. I''ve found so much great information.

This is a very subjective question and I''d appreciate lots of opinions on it.

I''ve been married for five years and the stone my husband bought for me is pretty, but smaller than I wanted.

I''m 32 years old and I''m trying to decide if I should buy a diamond in the 1 carat range or buy a little smaller (.75pts) and invest the money I save. Then in 21 yrs or so when the money I''ve invested has grown, I''ll go and get a diamond around 1.25 carats.

I know that alot of people buy smaller diamonds first and then upgrade later in life. But it seems that when I look around at other women''s rings, even women that look younger than me, they all seem to have larger stones, meaning 1+ carat stones.

An e-ring has a lot of status attached to it and I''m not ashamed to say I want to feel like I fit in with the average middle class woman in the U.S.

What do y''all think? Should I buy smaller now, invest the savings or buy bigger now? What do y''all think the average size of an e-ring diamond is for a woman in her 30''s?
 

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Ideal_Rock
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Mar 15, 2004
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I think only you can answer that question...every person's situation is different....!
 

pearcrazy

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2004
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1,438
Who knows what the average is. It all depends on where you live. If you live in Palm Beach I'd say the average is probably about 4 carats.
It would be awfully hard to sit on the difference in what you really want for 21 years. Besides, who knows what the price of diamonds will be then, they may have gotten so expensive it will take all of the investment and then some. I feel like my DH and I are pretty middle class. I'm 39 right now. I've been married 12 years. I wore a .54 carat pear stone until just last April when I upgraded to a 1.12 pear. It had nothing at all to do with what my 30 something friends were wearing, it was what I wanted. Some of them have bigger, some have smaller diamonds. I don't think I'll ever want an upgrade, but who knows. Sometimes, you just want what you want. I say get what you want now if you can afford it because there will always be something else that you could or should spend the money on, like college tuition for your children, a new roof, a new car, etc.
 

chialea

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 20, 2004
Messages
520
Well, my taste is for smaller stones, but yours is apparently not.
There are a few things I can think of off the bat:

1. going for a well-cut .8x ct stone will save you quite a bit over a 1ct (because there's a big price bump right there), and will be very slightly smaller -- and bigger than many 1ct diamonds which are cut for weight!
2. putting your diamond in a stunning setting can also add sparkle, or a bezel setting can make it look larger
3. sapphire sidestones look stunning and are relatively inexpensive. the sapphire and diamond rings I've seen around here draw the eye amazingly, just because of the lovely colour, sparkle, and contrast
 

jewelryjunkie

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
78
Thanks, Chialea, on the .8x suggestion.

I was planning on a semi-bezel setting, but I didn't realize it would make the stone look bigger.

I love the idea of getting the look of a 1ct with the price of a slightly smaller stone.
 

MichelleCarmen

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 8, 2003
Messages
15,880
My husband and I have decided to save money now and invest rather than purchase a larger stone and I'm 31 with a .42 carat ideal cut RB, to give you an idea of age and all that
Personally, I think that the price difference between a .75 and a .9ish stone isn't that much, so I'd go for the largest and closest to one carat as you can since you're only putting out, what, another 2K? As far as larger carat size goes goes, diamond prices WILL go up so this is something to consider. Have you researched investments and do you know for sure the amount you'll be sacrificing will grow sufficiently for you to feel this was an acceptable trade off?

I guess at first when reading these diamond boards I felt an urgent need to upgrade my stone, but over the year have thought about the meaning behind my original stone and realized this is TOO GREAT for me and to upgrade just to keep up with the ladies around town is wasteful competition. It's not THAT big of a deal, to tell you the truth, to have a HUGE diamond. Instead, my husband and I decided to purchase real estate AND I'll get one diamond treat every year and one Tiffany treat every year
and this will keep me happy (this year I haven't gotten my diamond treat *yet*
, but I did just get the starfish pendant from Tiffany & co just last month and LOVE it. It's very fun for summer
.)

Balance IS necessary and if you're looking to upgrade to seek approval and "fit in," I think purchasing a larger stone will only make you feel unsatisfied and empty because in reality most people could care less about your diamond & its size and are bound not to notice or if they do they may not respond as you had hoped.

Good luck deciding.


Michelle
 

kpebbles

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 17, 2003
Messages
106
hi there!

i would upgrade the ring now to a near 1 ct. 21 years is a LONG time to wait..don't ya think? i know i couldn't wait that long. i think you'll be itching to upgrade long before that 21 years is up. michelle brings up a good point about diamond prices going up in the near future. however, i suppose it could come down in several years, too.

it's totally up to you. i think once you have that 1 ct on your finger, you'll be glad you didn't wait too long.

please keep us posted- whatever you decide.
 

nicknomo

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2004
Messages
197
So size does matter?


If I were you, I wouldn't worry about having a smaller ring. If the 1 ct+ is too expensive of a purchase, than I'd steer away from it.

If you feel inadequate about the smaller stone, and it really would bug you, then I'd suggest that when you buy the diamond you cut costs in other areas. Maybe get a J or a K diamond with medium blue flourescence, stay in the SI range, and look for a good cut stone that isn't graded ideal (Here is where the HCA cut adviser - linked to on the price scope banner - can really come in handy.). This might be a great way to get the stone you want without breaking the bank. As someone already mentioned, staying slightly below 1 ct can save you some money... that is something that you may also keep in mind. You can actually get a diamond below 1 ct that looks bigger than a stone above 1 ct (see the dimensions of the stone).

Bottom line though, stay within a reasonable budget for yourself. The diamond, although pretty and a nice status symbol, serves no actual purpose. Buy smart and you can get something that will make you happy AND let you keep your savings.
 

wonka27

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 22, 2004
Messages
628
I was sort of in the same boat.

I was down between a .79 H SI1 and a 1.01 I SI1. Price difference = $1,900

In the end I picked the .79. Reality is, the stone is only 1/2 millimeter difference than a 1ct. It may be noticeable when comparing, but I think overall it is a close representation.
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
well this is really your call because you are the one with the money and the ring finger...but I would get the ring I want now. investments are not guaranteed to go up, though I would hope if you invested some thousands for 21 years you would have alot more than just enough to buy a 1.25c!
or maybe that is just the dot-bomber in me speaking.





anyway...i love diamonds and sparklies so i would never want to invest money for 20 years to upgrade my stone. i'd want it up front and screw later. then again, who really knows what can happen in 20 years. this is the mentality that has my hubby being the SAVER for us, thank god because when it comes time to retire, i'd have to sleep with diamonds for pillows and clothes for blankets if it was left up to me!





in the end your decision is yours to make...only you can know what is right for you now vs later and right for your wallet. i say get what you want now when it will make you happy. honestly in 20 years, who really knows WHAT is going to be going on?
 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
30,357
----------------
On 7/19/2004 5:53:29 PM pearcrazy wrote:

Who knows what the average is. It all depends on where you live. If you live in Palm Beach I'd say the average is probably about 4 carats.
It would be awfully hard to sit on the difference in what you really want for 21 years. Besides, who knows what the price of diamonds will be then, they may have gotten so expensive it will take all of the investment and then some. I feel like my DH and I are pretty middle class. I'm 39 right now. I've been married 12 years. I wore a .54 carat pear stone until just last April when I upgraded to a 1.12 pear. It had nothing at all to do with what my 30 something friends were wearing, it was what I wanted. Some of them have bigger, some have smaller diamonds. I don't think I'll ever want an upgrade, but who knows. Sometimes, you just want what you want. I say get what you want now if you can afford it because there will always be something else that you could or should spend the money on, like college tuition for your children, a new roof, a new car, etc.----------------
Pearcrazy
gee,you must be reading my diary
college tuition,new roof,new car,etc
 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
30,357
----------------
On 7/19/2004 5:35:38 PM jewelryjunkie wrote:

I love this website. I've found so much great information.

This is a very subjective question and I'd appreciate lots of opinions on it.

I've been married for five years and the stone my husband bought for me is pretty, but smaller than I wanted.

I'm 32 years old and I'm trying to decide if I should buy a diamond in the 1 carat range or buy a little smaller (.75pts) and invest the money I save. Then in 21 yrs or so when the money I've invested has grown, I'll go and get a diamond around 1.25 carats.

I know that alot of people buy smaller diamonds first and then upgrade later in life. But it seems that when I look around at other women's rings, even women that look younger than me, they all seem to have larger stones, meaning 1+ carat stones.

An e-ring has a lot of status attached to it and I'm not ashamed to say I want to feel like I fit in with the average middle class woman in the U.S.

What do y'all think? Should I buy smaller now, invest the savings or buy bigger now? What do y'all think the average size of an e-ring diamond is for a woman in her 30's?

----------------
jewelryjunkie,

first of all, my advice is for you to keep the original stone that you got from your husband. then buy the best diamond you can afford without going into financial debt. and who cares about the people around you.. the size of diamond they wear. they may be in more financial trouble than you think ..now about investing there's no guarantee,for the past 4 years, i lost so much money in the stock market so a couple months ago i decided to buy a 3+ ct stone instead of pissing the money away with my terrible stock picks.
 

jewelryjunkie

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
78
I think I will go with a stone in the .8-.9 range. It's close enough to a one carat to be satisfying. And there is more to life than looking rich. When all is said and done I'd rather be rich. So I'll invest the money I save and not worry about upgrading again.

And I need to get over my insecurity because I really can't buy status or self-confidence.

Thank you everyone for all the great advice. It helped ALOT!!
 

chialea

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 20, 2004
Messages
520
I think that sounds like a great option. You've got the look of it, without the huge bump in price. Save that extra money for a rainy day -- you'll probably be very happy you have it someday down the road


A good place to start your search (besides the tutorial linked above) is the "search by cut quality" here on pricescope. get something good and sparkly for your money!
(a quick search tells me that very nice diamonds in that range with great sparkle will cost you ~$3000-$3500)
 

pearcrazy

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2004
Messages
1,438
Vtigger:

COLLEGE TUITION!!! That is the main reason I decided to go ahead and get my diamond now. I have a seven year old and four year old twins. I will have all three in college together for 1 year. I will have the twins in college at the same time for 4 years. There would be no way for me to justify buying a diamond 10 years from now. It was now or never baby!!!!
 

ame

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 7, 2004
Messages
10,693
I say buy a nicely cut stone, versus bigger. If a 3/4 ct more or less is bigger and nicer and of better quality, thats far more beautiful than a big-ass poorly cut yellow diamond with little clusters in it.

Or save for another year, $40 a pay period and then use that money to go bigger and better than what you are seeing out now.

DOn't let your friends, family, or society dictate what works for you. A smaller high-quality stone is more beautiful than big and ugly.
 

MichelleCarmen

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 8, 2003
Messages
15,880
----------------
On 7/20/2004 6:57:26 PM pearcrazy wrote:

Vtigger:

COLLEGE TUITION!!! That is the main reason I decided to go ahead and get my diamond now. I have a seven year old and four year old twins. I will have all three in college together for 1 year. I will have the twins in college at the same time for 4 years. There would be no way for me to justify buying a diamond 10 years from now. It was now or never baby!!!!
----------------

hahaha - college tuition? Man, there is NO way I'm paying for my kids' schooling UNLESS they're very well behaved from here on out! I doubt that will happen, so they'll have to get student loans.
Does this make me a bad mom? lol

Michelle
 

nicknomo

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2004
Messages
197
----------------
On 7/20/2004 8:27:27 PM MichelleCarmen wrote:

----------------
On 7/20/2004 6:57:26 PM pearcrazy wrote:

hahaha - college tuition? Man, there is NO way I'm paying for my kids' schooling UNLESS they're very well behaved from here on out! I doubt that will happen, so they'll have to get student loans.
Does this make me a bad mom? lol

Michelle
----------------

Depends on how much money you have
 

MichelleCarmen

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 8, 2003
Messages
15,880
----------------
On 7/20/2004 10:57:02 PM nicknomo wrote:

----------------
On 7/20/2004 8:27:27 PM MichelleCarmen wrote:

----------------
On 7/20/2004 6:57:26 PM pearcrazy wrote:

hahaha - college tuition? Man, there is NO way I'm paying for my kids' schooling UNLESS they're very well behaved from here on out! I doubt that will happen, so they'll have to get student loans.
Does this make me a bad mom? lol

Michelle
----------------

Depends on how much money you have
----------------


hahaha - you know, if I'm broke, they'll have to do their own thing. AND, if I'm rich, it'll keep them from ever learning the true value of a dollar by forking over the dough to finance entomology (or whatever crazy field they enter) so either way, they can only fully appreciate their field by working on ways to finance their education. I studied a field I HATED but did so because my mom paid for it and PUSHED me to study what she thought was economically advantageous. I'd have been more inclined to study what I enjoyed had I paid for my expenses.

Possibly after the kids graduate, we'll surprise them and pay off their loans.


Does this make sense? I've had too much wine
 

nicknomo

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2004
Messages
197
hahaha - you know, if I'm broke, they'll have to do their own thing. AND, if I'm rich, it'll keep them from ever learning the true value of a dollar by forking over the dough to finance entomology (or whatever crazy field they enter) so either way, they can only fully appreciate their field by working on ways to finance their education. I studied a field I HATED but did so because my mom paid for it and PUSHED me to study what she thought was economically advantageous. I'd have been more inclined to study what I enjoyed had I paid for my expenses.

Possibly after the kids graduate, we'll surprise them and pay off their loans.


Does this make sense? I've had too much wine

----------------

It depends. Some people just muck through college, wasting their parents money on nothing. Other people seem to actually make the most of it (it's rare but it happens). It depends where you live too. Where I live the cost of living is outrageously high, and without parental assistance I just wouldn't have been able to afford college (and I went ot a state school). I landed a good job out of college, but it still isn't enough (need money for a house, car, insurance,etc). I worked part time through college to pay my own living expenses, but that killed my studies and I was still broke all the time. If you have to take up a full time job in college, and your major is not a joke (Psychology, history, etc), it will destroy your chances of doing well 95% of the time. Not to mention the adverse pyschological effects and further lack of a social life.

Two simple ways to send your child to get an education, and not some frivolous party experience.
1) Don't let your child go to a "party" school, or one with a high ratio of members of the opposite sex.
2) Send your child to a smaller school, so they are not just a number. This will force them to go to class.

Getting back to the point, having your kids take up huge college loans is not going to be any benefit to them. Two of my friends are still in bad financial trouble after graduating, and one had to declare bankruptcy (4 years x 30k)! They need the degree in this day and age, but regardless of how much they are going to make, loans should be kept to a minimum at all costs.

If you aren't going to be paying for it, don't let them go to an expensive school. It's the biggest mistake a person can make. Many people do not get a good job in their field for a while after they graduate, and with just an undergraduate degree assume only that they will be able to pay 10k a year for the first 5 years, starting 1 year from graduation. This seems to be the case by me, where other expenses take priority and leave little financial breathing room.
 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
30,357
----------------
On 7/20/2004 8:27:27 PM MichelleCarmen wrote:

----------------
On 7/20/2004 6:57:26 PM pearcrazy wrote:

Vtigger:

COLLEGE TUITION!!! That is the main reason I decided to go ahead and get my diamond now. I have a seven year old and four year old twins. I will have all three in college together for 1 year. I will have the twins in college at the same time for 4 years. There would be no way for me to justify buying a diamond 10 years from now. It was now or never baby!!!!
----------------

hahaha - college tuition? Man, there is NO way I'm paying for my kids' schooling UNLESS they're very well behaved from here on out! I doubt that will happen, so they'll have to get student loans.
Does this make me a bad mom? lol

Michelle
----------------
Michelle
look at it this way,if their not well behave they probably won't make it to college anyway.
 

chialea

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 20, 2004
Messages
520
----------------
On 7/21/2004 12:23:42 AM nicknomo wrote:




Two simple ways to send your child to get an education, and not some frivolous party experience.

1) Don't let your child go to a 'party' school, or one with a high ratio of members of the opposite sex.

2) Send your child to a smaller school, so they are not just a number. This will force them to go to class.


If you aren't going to be paying for it, don't let them go to an expensive school. It's the biggest mistake a person can make.



*cough* I hate to contradict you a bit, but I'm going to throw in my oar anyway.

I'm not going to argue with "party school", but I attended a program with an extremely high ratio of members of the opposite sex. The phrase "the odds are good, but the goods are odd" is quite rampant there, and for good reason. It didn't seem to stop any of the women I knew from studying. Granted, computer scientists are not known for having wild lives. (Actually, a quick note on "party school" -- I know at least one school has an extremely rigorous (and small) undergrad program alongside its normal program. However, if you have a child going to one of these, you're probably not concerned too much with their work habits. There's also the work-hard/play-hard ethic espoused by MIT, to the detriment of several alcohol-poisoned freshman per year.)

There are also major advantages to going to a bigger school. I went ot UC Berkeley for my undergrad, and I really appreciated the top-10 departments in nearly every area you can think of. When I took optional classes or required electives, I was stimulated by contact with the students who did the subject as their major, and by contact with intellegent, interesting professors. Class was also not particularly valuable /for me/ in some areas. I did well, certainly, but choosing to spend my time on research or outside reading and activities taught me far more than lectures for certain required classes. Some lectures were amazing, however, and I wouldn't have ever considered missing them for anything less than dire illness. A larger school has a larger variety of people typically available, and a larger variety of cultural activities.

As to the expensive school... that depends on what the student wishes to get out of the experience, and how much financial aid will be coming their way. I went to a state school (and an amazing deal it was!), but I'm not going to denegrate MIT or CMU, for instance. Certain programs can get you a good chunk more money, and a better chance of a job upon graduation. If you're going to do a PhD, the best of both worlds might be to attend a good state school, then one of the top private schools if you're going to be paid as a grad student.


Basically, what you get out of college is very much what you put into it, and there's no real way around that.
 

chris-uk04

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2003
Messages
273
You also can go bigger by sacrificing some of the color and clarity. I haven't seen any discussion on that. Size alone is not the only factor in price. Similar stick with a well cut stone, but you can make sacrifices on color and clarity if a larger stone is really what you want.

Here is a 1.15 J SI1 for under $5K. A non-jeweler would be hard pressed to see really much color or see inclusions without a loop.

Similarly this 0.84 F VVS2 from the same jeweler is over $150 more expensive.
 

Daniela

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2003
Messages
703
----------------[/quote]



If you have to take up a full time job in college, and your major is not a joke (Psychology, history, etc)...

----------------[/quote]


Okay, did you REALLY just say that? I am neither a psychology not a history major, but I have friends that were successful at doing both, so what's your problem? Talk about perpetuating stereotypes. It's not often that someone on PS actually makes me angry, but I find this comment to be incredibly rude and belittling.
 

Daniela

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2003
Messages
703
Michelle,

It sounds like you might have your wires crossed a little bit from a negative experience with your own mom, which is fair enough. But here's what I understood from your statement: It wasn't the fact that she paid for your education that was the problem, it was that she lorded it over you and didn't let you make your own choices.

Student loan debt is crippling. Don't make this mistake. You want to help your kids as much as you can, and that should extend to their eduction. If they are irresponsible or something, then pull the plug on the cash flow, but give them a chance.
 

nicknomo

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2004
Messages
197
chilea,

Now I know it's not true in every case, but it's an accurate broad generalization. Truth is, most students with large class sizes will simply not go to class. In comparison, classes where it is possible to take attendance force a higher rate of attendance. This is statistical fact. A few of the people I know that went to small schools had a 3 strike policy. You miss 3 classes, you get an F. They went to class. People I knew that went to a large school, missed a good portion of the classes. Some never even went.

Of course I went to my classes, and I was in a relatively large school. You notice the trend though, when 150 people show up to the tests, but there is only about 30 people in lecture at any given time.

As far as the high ratio of the opposite sex thing.... Well, that's probably more influential on the guys....
 

nicknomo

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2004
Messages
197
----------------
On 7/21/2004 8:04:16 AM Daniela wrote:



----------------


If you have to take up a full time job in college, and your major is not a joke (Psychology, history, etc)...

----------------[/quote]


Okay, did you REALLY just say that? I am neither a psychology not a history major, but I have friends that were successful at doing both, so what's your problem? Talk about perpetuating stereotypes. It's not often that someone on PS actually makes me angry, but I find this comment to be incredibly rude and belittling.
----------------[/quote]


Relax, it was part jest, part personal observation. The truth is though, that those undergraduate programs are sometimes classified as liberal arts majors. In other words, the psychology/history course load will be a much smaller part of their program than engineering, most sciences, and mathematics. What this translates into is more classes along the lines of pottery, yoga and horseback riding to fill in the blanks. This is compared to an engineering program where your elective is thermodynamics or physics.

Now I think you've misunderstood me... I did not say that the profession is a joke. What I was saying that the course load in these liberal arts programs are usually much easier to handle than others. Of course, this is once again a generalizations. Exceptions can often be found in schools where the primary focus/premiere program is psychology, history (pre-law), etc.

In most cases, I believe this is accurate. Of course, I'm just going by personal observations.
 

Daniela

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2003
Messages
703
----------------





Relax, it was part jest, part personal observation. The truth is though, that those undergraduate programs are sometimes classified as liberal arts majors. In other words, the psychology/history course load will be a much smaller part of their program than engineering, most sciences, and mathematics. What this translates into is more classes along the lines of pottery, yoga and horseback riding to fill in the blanks. This is compared to an engineering program where your elective is thermodynamics or physics.


----------------[/quote]


Hmm, not where I'm from!
 

sevens one

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 14, 2004
Messages
9,537
0
 

MichelleCarmen

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 8, 2003
Messages
15,880
----------------

Getting back to the point, having your kids take up huge college loans is not going to be any benefit to them. Two of my friends are still in bad financial trouble after graduating, and one had to declare bankruptcy (4 years x 30k)! They need the degree in this day and age, but regardless of how much they are going to make, loans should be kept to a minimum at all costs.

If you aren't going to be paying for it, don't let them go to an expensive school. It's the biggest mistake a person can make. .----------------

My state has a program where you can take the first two years of schooling at a jr college and then transfer to a university AFTER you get your AA with a 2.0 minimum GPA and we'll be encouraging this for the boys to reduce costs. Obviously, if my husband and I can afford schooling and are well off, we're not going to let our kids sink into bankruptcy while refusing all the while to pay off their student loans OR for that matter, have them go homeless while they work two night jobs just to afford the costs of their Harvard tuition.

Either way, we'll help as much as we choose to and encourage them to seek out scholarships or whatever IF this is the route that will work best. We won't let our kids drown in huge loans if they decide to study fields that they love, yet don't pay much once out in the rat race, so it's not like they're going to be spending the rest of their lives slaving to reduce a HUGE 100K+ loan they owe. My kids are 2 and 3 1/2 so there are YEARS for my husband and I to decide exactly how we want to manage this situation.

Michelle
 
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