can i propose without a ring?

[fire&ice]

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On 8/30/2004 12:22:19 PM guapo wrote:

update!

as for the expense of the trip, we are only going away for 2 nights and it's literally the first vacation we've taken together since we started dating 5 years ago. so i'm reluctant to scale anything back. nantucket is a very important place to me and i can't believe i haven't gotten her there before now. but like i've said, i've been freelancing for the past 2 years and brought in just enough to help her cover expenses. we have no savings and a little bit of debt. but all things considered, we're in great shape. We both (now) have great jobs with great salaries. but it is manhattan. never goes quite as far as you think. so it's not so much a matter of having to scrimp and save as much as i'm at a disadvantage not having been able to save anything up til now. kinda throws my timeline off.

so, the reality is, it's going to take some time to get all of the money together and she will likely be throwing some in as well. so instead of just sort of waiting around for that day to come, i want to formalize my intent to marry her and officially start the process of financing and picking out a ring.

so whether this is the actual proposal or more a phase 1 for a multi-phase proposal, i guess is up for interpretation.----------------

Well, makes sense. Don't saddle yourself with debt. Good luck. But, I would still scrimp & save! When we needed the money for a down payment, we made a game out of it - writing down *every* thing we spent. You can not believe where the money goes!

Nantucket is a special place for me as well. We honeymooned there 20+ years ago! Lovely place.

 

[Gale]

It's great you made a decision. The multi-phase-engagement path is a great way to go. It makes your intentions clear, and starts the whole process. Good luck with the juice bottle and this initial proposal.

 

[guapo]

well, it's a done deal.

thanks for all your support and encouragement.

i'll be lurking about the other forums as we search for the perfect ring.

thanks again.

 

[JimDiamond]

That's it! You're not going to give us any of the details? Did you end up buying a cheap ring as a "placeholder" or none at all? How did it go? C'mon we want some details! You said you were a writer, right?

 

[JSF0978]

Yes, We want to hear what you did, how she took it, and what not...

~Jeremy

 

[BTO]

Congratulations! It sounds like everything went well. Now, you know you have to give us SOME details! hehe!

 

[guapo]

Ok, so we take the boat over to nantucket and check into our cottage. after a walk on the beach, we get a visit from a couple masseuses. figured springing it on her at her most relaxed would be the best call. so while she is showering/getting ready to go out to dinner, i take the juice and the $24 ring which is in one of those plastic bubbles you get out of the coin op machine at the grocery store or movie theatre (for whatever reason we make a point of buying that junk at the movies while we are waiting around) and stash them in the bushes out front where there is a cute tiny bridge going over a small fish pond. it's about sunset now and i'm waiting for her to come out. i'm sitting on a bench by the pond. she comes out ready to go to dinner. as we are crossing the bridge together, i stop and let her know how much i love her blah blah...sorry i'll keep the details to myself, and grab the bottle from the bushes. i say since we are on nantucket and she "loves juice" so much i wanted to get her some special juice for the occasion. she's a little clueless and obviously thinks i'm crazy at this point. she examines the bottle and finds it cute but not totally gettign what's going down is just sort of looking at me funny.

so i ask her to open it, which she does, but totally fails to check under the cap and just starts sipping the juice, looking at me for some sort of assist as to what she's supposed to be doing. it's all very funny after the fact, but i was thinking "disaster" the whole time. anyway, i ask her to look under the cap, she does and she's floored. doesn't know what to think.

shocked, she asks, "are you serious?"

i take the ring from the bushes and take a knee. i explain that i know she wanted to pick out her own ring but i wanted her to have somethign to wear in the mean time etc and ask if she will marry me.

she starts to cry and can only get out the cutest tearful "ok" i've ever heard before completely losing it.

i put on the ring and we walk to dinner. she's shell shocked still but i explain the whole story to her which you all already know and what my choices were and what i decided and why, etc. etc.

she was extremely happy and said i made all the right choices and everythign was perfect and she apologized for being so retarded.

no rush to set a date. we've just made our commitment and told a few friends and so far it's pretty much business as usual. two crazy kids in love trying to raise an english bulldog. now we're just openly talking about the future together without the awkward, "maybe...someday...if we're ready" type qualifyers. we're keeping the families in the dark for now so as not to incur the constant barrages of "when's the wedding?!" etc. etc.

anyway, that's pretty much it.

 

[quaeritur]

Love the story! And I love your juice idea. That was a stroke of genius!

Congratulations, enjoy this extra special time!!!

 

[gingerBcookie]

oh yay congragulations!

so happy for you guys...that's an adorable story!