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Buying my first AVC!

Cerulean

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
856
Hi friends - I am back! We had a fabulous wedding & trip with a mix of amazing and bittersweet elements. The wedding was a beautiful, a misty and drizzly day.

I couldn't help but take shameless bling pics on our honeymoon at Theodore Roosevelt Ntl Park, Makoshika State Park, & Glacier Ntl Park. It was sadly cut 4 days short

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I will spare the heartache, but we got exposed to COVID at my very small, outdoors wedding. We had to go inside at one point during rain....*sigh* - someone else tested positive. We tried to be so careful and only had parents and siblings. As soon as we found out we rushed home, and are getting tested tomorrow. Man this pandemic sucks!

But on to the bling! The ring, is gorgeous. Sorry it got so dirty on the journey from constant hand washing & sanitizing. The diamonds especially, are GORGEOUS and perfectly paired. I will hold off on an SMTB thread for now - as I will get the negative part out of the way.

The ring has a design flaw that I didn't catch in the CADs and frankly I gave up on tweaking the CADs (will explain below). The shank is very thin underneath the diamonds, and leaves sore, angry red indents across the top of my finger that got worse after wearing a wedding ring. The ring is not too small, in fact, is 1/4 size large. As beautiful as it is, I can't live with that long term. I am going to wear it for now and enjoy it while I have it before dealing with resetting with another designer.I might go for a non-flush style so it doesn't swallow my wedding band so much...but will worry about that later. The bezels, milgrain, and other elements are perfection.

Another word of advice I will offer PS readers as it is a consumer forum and feels only fair to be transparent - PSers reached out to the designer in the middle of the project and really negatively impacted my interactions with him. I had posted a thread asking for CAD help on angling side stones (that I reported and had deleted) that got relayed to him by multiple people (two? more?) that I was complaining /bad-talking him on PS, which really was a totally unfair representation. I made one negative comment about being fussy about tweaking CADs, and also shared that it was bc of a tight timeline and that I had knee-jerk approved CADs and accepted personal blame. I also didn't name him in the thread and by no means meant for anything to get blown out of proportion. But it did.

I don't actually know what was said, but it was really bizarre and uncomfortable on my end and I felt utterly blindsided after everyone was helpful and kind. I didn't want to mention it until after the project was done, and fees were added for continual CAD changes. Which is fine and totally fair. but the added stress of interference really made me feel terrible, I was also up against a tight deadline so just wanted the whole thing over with. I want to add positives - rapport initially was really fun, I got a ring on time (which was awesome and my main priority), incredible side stones, and the craftsmanship and appearance is elegant. It just isn't that comfortable for me, might not bother other people.

Hopefully this is helpful. That's a wrap!

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dmack

Rough_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2019
Messages
72
Congratulations on your wedding! The picture of the ceremony in the mist is so romantic. But, I'm sorry about the COVID exposure after all of your carefulness. That must be so disappointing and disheartening - and, a terrible reminder that there's only so much we can control, as risk reduction does not equal risk elimination. I hope you and your new husband test negative and that your family member recovers swiftly. The COVID thing is a lot to carry when it should just be joy and happiness. Big, socially distanced hugs to you.

I don't even know what to say about the PS member/vendor interactions. It's a risk in a public forum like this I guess, but I completely understand why you feel icky and undermined. I'm sorry. FWIW, I read your initial posts as you present them above - you acknowledged the vendor's irritation at your CAD change requests but took ownership for the reasons why.

Regarding the thin shank: My old e-ring had this! Actually, two thin bands in parallel under the stone. I'm going to challenge your assertion that the ring is too big - I think you should try a bigger size. When my ring was sized to fit me (or so I thought) those thin bands dug in and itched me to no end when my finger swelled. I eventually went a half size bigger than felt "right". I initially had a small heart attack because it felt so loose - but now I realize that I needed that space in order to be comfortable. With a larger ring size, it'll feel floppier on your hand but I think you'll find it more comfortable overall.
 

Rfisher

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 19, 2013
Messages
2,797
Very pretty!
Congratulations on your wedding and it’s great to hear you were able to have the rings on the date you needed.
I agree with dmack above, in saying it probably is a bit smaller sized than what you want, to make your finger red like that - especially if it became more apparent after adding your wedding band next to it.
I don’t think that’d be classified as a ‘design flaw’.
You really intend to reset with another designer instead of sizing up a bit?!?!

You aren’t the first one someone here has chosen to notify a vendor if opinions are being asked. Not that long ago - to be exact - it happened when someone was asking board opinions on a piece, and all the vendor got from the notification was that the customer/poster was unhappy and publicly negatively speaking of them, and it wasn’t the case.
it’s hard to tell if the people that choose to do this, are doing so in a constructive way or not? It’s hard to understand without knowing intent?

it’s unfortunate you felt uncomfortable in your discussions with the vendor after that - but I feel also unfortunate It seems from reading this, you don’t know /didn’t ask exactly what was said to the vendor about you? And have deleted the thread in question so he can’t see for himself what was actually said and by whom?
Is this uncomfortable turn of the relationship part of your decision to go elsewhere almost immediately for a new setting?
If you feel the way you do as you just stated - why isn’t it worth trying to find out what he ‘thinks’ you said vs what you actually said in the (deleted) thread?
It just seems easier than starting from scratch, again.
but - that’s happened from time to time, too, here on PS. The reset after reset I mean.
Do what ultimately will make yourself most happy in the end. :)
Congrats again!
 
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Cerulean

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
856
Thanks @Rfisher and @dmack. Very helpful!

I don't plan on rushing into a new setting right away (is a 3-5 months rushing?) moreso pre-empting. A new setting has nothing to do with the interactions with the vendor. I won't blame a material object for human behavior. ;-) Given serial resets, I just think with someone else will be a better fit. I wouldn't write off working with them again. I knew by rushing the whole process that I might miss something. I would never have left the shank this thin anywhere. My calipers measure 0.9-1mm.

It didn't even dawn on me that it was too small because it feels like if it is any bigger it will slip right off. I came in sized around a 7-7.25. I don't like tight rings...my e-ring is a 7.5, and my wedding band is a loose 7.75. The whole set flops around a lot. On long car rides (I experimented on road trips) - the mark would go away if I flipped my hand upside down. The indent only happens where it is thinnest. My Sholdt setting didn't feel remotely sharp against my skin and left no marks, was the same size. That's why I landed on "must be a design issue" - I might not be right, but it may end up being an issue for me. I need to give it more time & will look into resizing.

As for PSers flagging to the vendor...definitely agree, hard to understand what the intent was of reaching out. I hope it wasn't malicious...it just feels so hospitable here, I was utterly surprised and so I didn't dig further into what they said - it was evident that the vendor was upset. I was so blindsided after feeling attacked - I had to profusely apologize to even continue the project and defend myself against internet strangers. But honestly, I didn't (and don't) think I did anything wrong or unseemly. But I was misunderstood.

The vendor stated they avoided the entire forum and it was brought to their attention independent of them seeking it out. I would have happily even sent a link to the thread. I can't remember exact timelines - but there was at least a day? two? three? four? where the vendor could have easily found it. Deleting the thread wasn't about covering anything up or shirking blame - I hadn't actually meant to be critical of the vendor in any way and didn't want anyone else left with that impression. I was just struggling to envision what tweaks I needed to make to the CAD and was looking for help. So in deleting it, I was trying to not cause any more issues for myself or the vendor.

We regained "okay" communication. The topic didn't drag on afterwards. But I have never been put in a situation like that, and it didn't feel great. I didn't share this to complain at all, or point fingers, mar anyone's reputation, etc. I feel pretty emotionally detached from the whole thing now - I am still enjoying the ring, it is beautiful and was delivered on time which was important to me. I just thought it was fair to just share my experience. If I had known what I know now, I would have done things differently and avoided the forum for this particular vendor.
 
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Cerulean

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
856
Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!
I’ll delete it right now!

my sincere apologies!
No worries at all! No offense taken. It happens, and since I deleted my own thread we must rely on our own fallible memories! Your point that I probably should left it as is is well taken :lol:
 

CSpan

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 7, 2016
Messages
750
Your ring (and wedding) look beautiful. I do love the delicate milgrain and those bezels are perfect. The redness is bizarre, hopefully sizing remedies it in the near term.

I'm sorry you went through what you did with people taking your words offline. @Rfisher knows I had a similar saga when asking for advice on a design, which was relayed to the vendor who was rather hurt. I was curious what this game of telephone led to and sent the link because I wasn't confident what was said at all portrayed my post. My post is still up btw. In the end it was entirely blown out of proportion, caused both parties needless stress, and it would have been better for everyone had nothing been said. I'm not sure what the intent is and while I am sure it wasn't malicious it was unnecessary. We are all capable of expressing our thoughts (or complaints) as we see fit as we are the ones in the transaction. And I'm not sure the vendors actually benefit either, other than to be paranoid. Which makes us paranoid and then people don't post real reviews which benefits no one. To be honest I had to step away from the boards for a bit I was so irritated. And it gave me great pause about posting anything other than preliminary designs or CADs in the future. It is hard to feel confident asking for help, which is why PS exists, if you have to worry about things getting back to the vendor before you have a chance to even make up your mind.

I missed your CAD post but, I suspect concurrently, I had Sako working on a ring for me. I posted the CAD ages ago and asked for advice without issue. I greatly appreciated the feedback as it saved me numerous revisions, but I get what you are saying about revisions. I wish I had followed up more persistently on one aspect.

I am so glad that you had both rings for your wedding and can at least get those little sparklers out in the worlds.
 

Cerulean

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
856
Your ring (and wedding) look beautiful. I do love the delicate milgrain and those bezels are perfect. The redness is bizarre, hopefully sizing remedies it in the near term.

I'm sorry you went through what you did with people taking your words offline. @Rfisher knows I had a similar saga when asking for advice on a design, which was relayed to the vendor who was rather hurt. I was curious what this game of telephone led to and sent the link because I wasn't confident what was said at all portrayed my post. My post is still up btw. In the end it was entirely blown out of proportion, caused both parties needless stress, and it would have been better for everyone had nothing been said. I'm not sure what the intent is and while I am sure it wasn't malicious it was unnecessary. We are all capable of expressing our thoughts (or complaints) as we see fit as we are the ones in the transaction. And I'm not sure the vendors actually benefit either, other than to be paranoid. Which makes us paranoid and then people don't post real reviews which benefits no one. To be honest I had to step away from the boards for a bit I was so irritated. And it gave me great pause about posting anything other than preliminary designs or CADs in the future. It is hard to feel confident asking for help, which is why PS exists, if you have to worry about things getting back to the vendor before you have a chance to even make up your mind.

I missed your CAD post but, I suspect concurrently, I had Sako working on a ring for me. I posted the CAD ages ago and asked for advice without issue. I greatly appreciated the feedback as it saved me numerous revisions, but I get what you are saying about revisions. I wish I had followed up more persistently on one aspect.

I am so glad that you had both rings for your wedding and can at least get those little sparklers out in the worlds.
Agreed with the ring and thanks for your compliment- the ring is GORGEOUS. I was elated that Sako made the deadline! His craftsmanship is wonderful. Truly. The redness...we will see! I hope it goes away. We also just found out - my husband and I are negative for COVID. I was feeling extremely guilty that we potentially spread it across our families and then America unbeknownst to us...but so far only my sister is positive and he mild symptoms.

You expressed exactly my thoughts regarding this strange behavior of PSers - I’m also really sorry you went through the same thing. Given that my wedding was coming up, I had to redo all of my plans to make it as safe as possible, we had to re-plan a honeymoon - I was honestly livid that anyone dared to add yet another logistical/emotional issue on my plate for no apparent reason! Given all the other worries I was managing, it really pushed me over the edge. Now that it’s over...I can detach myself.

But I’d like to be clear - it did hurt the vendor unnecessarily, breached his trust in me, damaged the reputation of PS in his eyes, and in turn absolutely made me more wary of PS and caused everyone a lot of stress. I hope anyone reading these posts, who has behaved by interfering in this way, resists from doing so in the future. You are not being helpful - your behavior is damaging and it negatively impacts people. You sucked the joy out of my project entirely and made it something to just be done with. It is also not what this forum is for.

Anyways, off my soapbox. I do think I shouldn’t have deleted my thread. I almost deleted my account, but I’m glad I didn’t. I was emotional. But now I’m fine, I’m married, healthy, and thoroughly enjoying my sparkly diamonds!
 
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