anchor31
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2005
- Messages
- 7,074
I haven’t been around much for the last two weeks… I finally got settled in the apartment J and I share, started my second summer job, I''ve been my sister get ready for her exchange trip (she’s leaving next Saturday!
Two weekends ago, I went to Ottawa with my mother and sister to visit my grandmother, and we went to the two Ottawa Bonny retailers in search of my dream wedding dress. Neither carried the actual dress, but I got to try on two Bonny dresses similar to it. The first one was a corset back and the right size and the shape looked great, but the ivory colour looked really blah (I wish we’d taken pics anyway…). The second wasn’t a corset back, but it looked and felt amazing even though it was still a few inches too big at the bust (pics to follow). My sister asked for price quotes while I was trying on dresses, and the second store would save me 100$ on my dress, and 50$ on each of the BM dresses, plus a free veil for me! I’m thrilled, and I will order the three dresses the next time I visit my grandmother.
My mother took my to Michael’s Arts and Crafts store for ideas since we have a few DIY projects and I found the cutest hand-made paper and vellum DIY invites packages (really inexpensive too!). J and I really like this one, so if the folded cardstock ones I wanted to make don’t work out, I will pick it up when I’ll go order the dresses.
Unfortunately, there was some arguing (again), because my parents want to invite my sister’s godparents. They are my mother’s aunt and uncle, and even though I’d love to invite them, I just can’t. So my parents were upset, saying they’d pay for them so what’s the problem, it’s really going to upset them to not be invited, my great-aunt wanted to throw me a shower (!), the whole guilt trip.
I appreciate their intention, really. They want to avoid hurting feelings and they’d pay for it so it’s no trouble for me. But I’m mad that they took this decision without consulting me and that they assumed everything would be fine. They just don’t seem to understand the situation we’re in.
Our guest list is at 90 and we can’t invite more. We really can’t. We have big families, and even without inviting cousins, we only have 18 spots left for friends. Which sucks. If we invite my great aunt and uncle because we see them more then once a year, I couldn’t tell J he can’t invite his great-aunt he also sees more than once a year… And poof! 4 more spots taken by family (which there is already too many of) and we’re down to 14 spots for friends.
And most importantly… J and I have spent the last 12 months trying to get his mother to understand that this is OUR wedding and that we will do whatever we darn please, no matter how much she whines, bitches and blackmails. She “forgot” the promised 1k because we wouldn’t agree to her demands, but we didn’t back down. She tried to make us feel guilty, but it didn’t work. So she’s finally just shutting up and letting us do our thing… And now my parents are taking decisions without asking first. Caving in because they are paying or because someone would be upset undermines everything we’ve worked for in the past year. It hurts me so much that they’ve been so supportive through my ordeal with my FMIL and now they’re acting just like her. They might not see it that way, but that’s what it is.
Eloping is pretty much out of the question at this point, we’d lose money that we can afford to lose. I’ve been thinking about ways to tone it down even more than we already have, but I have to run them by my FI.
QUESTION: Have any of you been in/at a wedding with 30-ish guests? What kind of reception did you/they have?
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