Bullying....

[Mayk]

So I need the help of some mom's tonight... this is when I love this forum...

My daughter received a message from a very popular girl at school tonight (DD is not popular...she's the one that gets picked on.. the Scoliosis brace doesn't help, she's the smallest and awkward) and this girl who is in one of her classes, very popular, told her if they didn't hang out she would "ruin" her. I ended up taking the phone from DD to read the string of text messages and this girl started this exchange and DD tried to tell her was not available because she knew the girl was just being mean. I sent a text to the bully and identified myself as DD's mother and gave her my name and asked for details on exactly how she planned to "ruin" my daughter. I then asked her if I should contact the school regarding bullying or her mother who I found on FB and send her a copy of the text... She VERY quickly apologized about six times saying it was a joke...

How would you handle?

Would you contact the mother and let her know?
Would you call the school and let them know?
Or just let it die down and hope they leave DD alone at school?

I hate Middle School almost as much as my DD....only six more months.. I hope HS is better....

 

[PintoBean]

Keep all the texts just in case.

I would contact the mother first. From what I hear from my teacher-friends, sometimes the parents...IDK...
If the mother is not responsive or the apple doesn't fall far from the tree (who knows...), go to the school, and bring the texts.

I feel for you and your daughter. Bullying nowadays is just so extreme it almost makes bullying from my school girl days seem trivial. The instantaneous nature of the internet - everything happens in real time that you don't have time to think about the consequences clearly, or how a swipe of the finger has such a long-term impact.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

So I need the help of some mom's tonight... this is when I love this forum...

My daughter received a message from a very popular girl at school tonight (DD is not popular...she's the one that gets picked on.. the Scoliosis brace doesn't help, she's the smallest and awkward) and this girl who is in one of her classes, very popular, told her if they didn't hang out she would "ruin" her. I ended up taking the phone from DD to read the string of text messages and this girl started this exchange and DD tried to tell her was not available because she knew the girl was just being mean. I sent a text to the bully and identified myself as DD's mother and gave her my name and asked for details on exactly how she planned to "ruin" my daughter. I then asked her if I should contact the school regarding bullying or her mother who I found on FB and send her a copy of the text... She VERY quickly apologized about six times saying it was a joke...

How would you handle?

Would you contact the mother and let her know?
Would you contact the mother and let her know?
Or just let it die down and hope they leave DD alone at school?

I hate Middle School almost as much as my DD....only six more months.. I hope HS is better....

Would you contact the mother and let her know? YES

Would you contact the mother and let her know? ABDOLUTELY

Or just let it die down and hope they leave DD alone at school? ABSOLUTELY NOT

The only way to stop a bully is to stand up to them. I've seen it dozens of times when I worked both high and middle schools.

This should be reported to the school. She should be talked to by the princpal and her guidance counselor/case manager. Most schools have anti-bullying policies and procedure in place for just this kind of situation.

I'm sorry your daughter is going thru this and hope the stuation is sorted out soon.

 

[cygnet]

Oh, tough situation. I know what it's like being bullied in middle school. I wasn't popular in middle school, and one mean girl teased me about my dead mother and told me that I didn't deserve to have a mother because she wouldn't love me anyway because I was fat and ugly. Kids are really horrible sometimes.

I'm not a mother and I think it's a sensitive situation, so I probably can't give you the greatest advice. If you contact her mother, there's a chance the girl will get upset about being found out and take it out on your daughter, but that doesn't mean that her behavior should be tolerated. It would probably be more effective to contact the mother than the school, though.

 

[Begonia]

Make sure you keep the texts.

I was bullied. Husband was bullied. Son #1 was bullied. Twice.

When is it going to stop? I don't think it ever will, it's part of some people's nature I guess.

Poor kid. Big hug to her and you Mama Bear.

I know what I want to do, is take that gal on the other end of the phone out into the back 40 and beat the crap out of her. Oh was that my outside voice? You'll forgive me, I've been around this block a few times and it makes me so I could just spit.

The excuse of it being a joke isn't going to fly. Kids nowadays get enough info to know better than to "joke" about this kind of stuff. The part about "ruin" concerns me as well. I might have let some other words go, but not that one.

My experience with how schools handle these things has been varied. Some handled it really well, some didn't know what the heck to do. I might be tempted to start with the parents and see how well that goes. Like you're giving them an opportunity to handle this at home and if things don't improve immediately, you are going to take it to the school. Likely this will cause some ostracizing directed toward your DD, and you'll have to parent her through that. Does she have some close friends that could provide back-up? A heads up to their parents that DD needs some extra support right now perhaps?

My best thoughts and kindest wishes to that girl of yours...

 

[Mayk]

OK.. Thank you.. this helps... this is tough... Middle school was also hateful for me. I tell Merisa all the time this is their hay day. It's all down hill for the bullies they don't get far in life with those habits and behaviors.

I did send a note to the Dean... who knows me because this year when a boy kept throwing DD's books on the floor because she couldn't bend over to pick them up with the brace.. she hauled off and kicked him... in the shin.. Oh boy.. I sound like the mom of the Karate Kid. I asked him to be aware of what had happened so that she would not be hazed in class for giving me the phone.

I will sound like a school girl, I'm petrified to contact the mom . She may be as mean as the kid . I think if anything happens at school then I will decide to be braver and take it to the next step. I do have a copy of the text messages. Until then DD and I had a nice chat about taking the high road, being an example for others and always being kind.

 

[yennyfire]

Ohh, Mayk...my heart is breaking for you and your daughter. I used to be a high school counselor and I would absolutely tell you that you can't let this go. My suggestion would be to contact her mother and be as nice as you can be. Assume that she DOESN'T know that her daughter behaves this way. Give her a chance to be appalled and tell you that she WILL take care of it (which should include a sincere apology to your DD). Hopefully, that will be the end of it.

If she tries to brush it off, tell her that you will be informing the administration because you know that they take these things seriously. Then, I'd make an appt with the principal, show her the texts and tell her that you want them to do something to ensure you child's emotional/physical well being.

I'm going to be honest with you. The administration has no choice but to tell you that they are going to take care of it....blah, blah, blah... and, they probably have the best intentions of doing so. However, all they can do is warn this girl and her parents. Until it has been ongoing for a while or escalated to some breaking point, there's not a lot they can do (eventually, they could suspend/expel her). It is possible that this girl will escalate her behavior or recruit some of her cronies to join her in bullying your daughter. You need to prepare your daughter for this. Tell her that you hope it won't happen and you're behind her 150%, but that it may take some time and you'll be with her every step of the way.

Bullying makes me . Just mind your own d*mn business. You don't need to tear someone down to build yourself up. I am so very sorry mayk. Many of us have been there, but things are definitely more serious these days and the bullying is more insidious.

Hugs to you and your daughter.

 

[Begonia]

That sounds like a fine plan to me.

Sometimes the simplest solution is the best.

Give Textgirl an opportunity to do the right thing. Maybe your reply knocked some sense and sensibility into her. We can only hope.

It is scary to think about contacting the parents. You bet. All different kinds of normal out there.

I think you are modelling emotional resiliency for her, and that, my friend, is one of the finest gifts you can give your kid.

 

[Enerchi]

oh MayK!!! I feel for you and your daughter - its hard to be the parent and watch this happen to your child.

ABSOLUTELY - contact mother AND contact school. As others have said, mom could go two ways - be shocked her little precious could do such a thing and then deal with it at home... or mom and daughter are both of the same mind and she could be a bully herself (kids learn it from somewhere, right??) but still - do it. You are the mama bear protecting your cub and you will stand up to the fiercest competitor to do so.

As for the school principal/admin- definitely report because if they can not do anything in this particular instance, they can make a case for any future bully acts of aggression by this girl. Don't let it just get brushed aside. Kids learn from example and your daughter is looking to you to protect her and role model how to deal with a challenging situation.

All of this on top of mono -- poor you, it doesn't rain but it pours... I'm sorry you are BOTH going thru this. HUGS to you and DD

 

[distracts]

Baseball bat to the face. Problem solved. (Not helpful. But those are my feels.)

 

[KaeKae]

MayK, I am so sorry you and your daughter are dealing with this. I have had to deal with bullies as a parent, in addition, I am currently a spec. ed. aide and am always on the alert for such behavior on campus, whether with our own students, who are 'different' or students in the gen ed classes we may come across.

In the case of my daughter, I brought it to the attention of the school. First in an email to the vice principal, and then when it continued, I approached the VP in person. I think the face to face meeting did the trick. I made it clear to the VP that while I understood there was a 'problem' going on with "John" (the bully) and that was between the VP and John's family, MY business is standing for my child and her friends, who had a right to ride the bus, walk the halls and play on school grounds without fear. He handled it that morning and DD never had another problem with the child. I was glad I did not approach the parents. As it turned out, they both were bullies in their own right: one on the baseball field as a league official, the other in the neighborhood in the guise of the HOA president. Yes, the apple didn't fall far from that tree. One of his favorite taunts for DD and her friend was "Four Eyes" because they wore glasses. Nice. I can imagine he would have liked your DD's bully's tactics regarding her brace, too.

I hope you are able to get this rectified, soon. Like my DD and her friends, your daughter has a right to feel safe at school (and at home) that other child does NOT have the right to impinge on your daughter's rights.

 

[Skippy123]

Mayk, I am so sorry; that is horrible. I am angry to hear this. I will send dust/vibes that things improve quick. huge hugs to both you and your beautiful daughter.

 

[packrat]

Baseball bat to the face. Problem solved. (Not helpful. But those are my feels.)

that's how I'd be too..I'm frantic that my kids will be picked on. definitely talk to the Mom and the school. I know it will be hard to call the Mom but it needs to be done.

we watched Bully at our professional development day last week and it was very hard to take in, how mean kids can be. I hated being the outcast in school and it brought back the feelings of being alone.

 

[iLander]

This is what you do; you call the mother and you MUST dominate the conversation. If you do not, all is lost. You are not the meek and sweet mom, you are the person in the right and it is the other mom's RESPONSIBILITY to fix it, and your job is to make sure she does. Let's call the mean girl Tia.

You call "I'm afraid you daughter, Tia, has put your family in a very compromising position."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm afraid she has been bullying my daughter, name, and I will have to report her to the school district. If her bad behavior continues, we will have to enlist my uncle, the lawyer (blatant lie- you use a relative/lawyer because it implies it won't cost you anything), to file a harassment suit. I wish Tia hadn't done this, for your sake, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to talk (name the principal) tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know the situation. I'm sorry, that's my other line, I'll have to get back to you." and hang up. Your tone is even and steady throughout, you are informing them of a fact, and that's it.

See what you did? You put the mean girl in the position of being the bad guy, someone who has brought trouble onto her household, you've threatened a lawsuit, and you've cut off the conversation so there is no time for bullshit. The apple doesn't fall from the tree, and bullies beget bullies, that's the truth of it. You need to be ready.

Then you go to school the next day and you are the nicest person in the world to the teachers, but firm. No one EVER gets anything done without a deadline (at least in my experience). You explain the situation, and say that you will meet with them again in a week's time, to see how they have resolved the situation. You ask them what the district's policies are, and you take notes. That implies that you will be checking up on them. The pressure you are putting on the teachers is subtle, but you must make it obvious that you mean business, or they will just have a chat with the other parents and that'll be it. And do NOT meet with the other parents. You need to be that scary lady on the phone, not the compromising nice lady they met at school.

Then tell your daughter to keep a diary of any contact with the mean girl or any of her friends. Day, date and time for every cross-eyed look, mean remark, anything. This is called evidence, and any parent worth their salt knows that it is. If your daughter can let it be known she is keeping a record "for the lawsuit", that girl will run for the hills. Plus, I never make a threat I don't intend to keep, and I would file a harassment suit if necessary. It wouldn't get far, the first lawyer letter would do it, but I would be ready. Nip this in the bud, or it will follow her to high school.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Sometimes the parents (of the bullier) are well aware of the situation...or it was in our case. It wasn't until I intervened at the school level that the "problem" stopped as the parents were "called out or identified" along with their kids. Too bad it has to come to that, but interventions are worth it. Most bullied children do not want their parents solve their problems for them, the catch 22 being nothing changes until they do.

Sorry to be a Deebie D but from a parent standpoint, I found HS just as difficult at Jr. H. University was the great equalizer. Hang in there.

kind regards--Sharon

 

[ame]

So I need the help of some mom's tonight... this is when I love this forum...

My daughter received a message from a very popular girl at school tonight (DD is not popular...she's the one that gets picked on.. the Scoliosis brace doesn't help, she's the smallest and awkward) and this girl who is in one of her classes, very popular, told her if they didn't hang out she would "ruin" her. I ended up taking the phone from DD to read the string of text messages and this girl started this exchange and DD tried to tell her was not available because she knew the girl was just being mean. I sent a text to the bully and identified myself as DD's mother and gave her my name and asked for details on exactly how she planned to "ruin" my daughter. I then asked her if I should contact the school regarding bullying or her mother who I found on FB and send her a copy of the text... She VERY quickly apologized about six times saying it was a joke...

How would you handle?

Would you contact the mother and let her know?
Would you call the school and let them know?
Or just let it die down and hope they leave DD alone at school?

I hate Middle School almost as much as my DD....only six more months.. I hope HS is better....

Keep all the texts. Take screen shots now and send them to yourself. Email the whole exchange to yourself in words AND the screenshots. And honestly I think you should contact her mom anyway and send copies of the entire exchange. "Joke" or not, that's not acceptable. I don't know about the school yet but probably do that especially if her mother is unreceptive.

I am almost thirtyfive and I am STILL to this day quite damaged by what girls like that did to me in grade school and high school and I still live near that area. My parents generally blew it off and still do to this day, acting like it never happened and back then they didn't take it seriously and acted like it was nothing. I still get crap to this day, and while I should not care that these people are still mocking and teasing me-in some cases almost 30 years later-I do. I actually get sick to my stomach sometimes when I see someone from school in public and they recognize me and get that sick smirk. I try to act completely unfazed but my brain goes into hyperdrive. Some of them actually totally believe I made up my entire wedding--down to hiring models for my wedding pictures and bought my own rings and changed my name to carry it out (yea like THIS is the last name I'd pick for a made up name?!)...it's ridiculous that I let that bother me but it really does bother me that people still think I am that big of a loser (and for what?) that I couldn't possibly be married or employed or own a business and should just be shaking uncontrollably and drooling on myself in a corner I guess. Most of my drive and ambition came from my genetics, the rest comes from giving them the finger.

And not doing something about this now to let your daughter know you won't tolerate people being mean to her (she can pretend it's embarrassing you're involving yourself, but she WILL be grateful later) is going to cause more damage later--if I can be any sort of indicator of the damage of bullying, let me be, bec I trust NO ONE. I don't trust anyone's motivations, or compliments, or anything positive I am told. She has to know you fully support her and that you're actively going to do something about it.

 

[ame]

This is what you do; you call the mother and you MUST dominate the conversation. If you do not, all is lost. You are not the meek and sweet mom, you are the person in the right and it is the other mom's RESPONSIBILITY to fix it, and your job is to make sure she does. Let's call the mean girl Tia.

You call "I'm afraid you daughter, Tia, has put your family in a very compromising position."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm afraid she has been bullying my daughter, name, and I will have to report her to the school district. If her bad behavior continues, we will have to enlist my uncle, the lawyer (blatant lie- you use a relative/lawyer because it implies it won't cost you anything), to file a harassment suit. I wish Tia hadn't done this, for your sake, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to talk (name the principal) tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know the situation. I'm sorry, that's my other line, I'll have to get back to you." and hang up. Your tone is even and steady throughout, you are informing them of a fact, and that's it.

See what you did? You put the mean girl in the position of being the bad guy, someone who has brought trouble onto her household, you've threatened a lawsuit, and you've cut off the conversation so there is no time for bullshit. The apple doesn't fall from the tree, and bullies beget bullies, that's the truth of it. You need to be ready.

Then you go to school the next day and you are the nicest person in the world to the teachers, but firm. No one EVER gets anything done without a deadline (at least in my experience). You explain the situation, and say that you will meet with them again in a week's time, to see how they have resolved the situation. You ask them what the district's policies are, and you take notes. That implies that you will be checking up on them. The pressure you are putting on the teachers is subtle, but you must make it obvious that you mean business, or they will just have a chat with the other parents and that'll be it. And do NOT meet with the other parents. You need to be that scary lady on the phone, not the compromising nice lady they met at school.

Then tell your daughter to keep a diary of any contact with the mean girl or any of her friends. Day, date and time for every cross-eyed look, mean remark, anything. This is called evidence, and any parent worth their salt knows that it is. If your daughter can let it be known she is keeping a record "for the lawsuit", that girl will run for the hills. Plus, I never make a threat I don't intend to keep, and I would file a harassment suit if necessary. It wouldn't get far, the first lawyer letter would do it, but I would be ready. Nip this in the bud, or it will follow her to high school.

This. Perfectly.

 

[Mayk]

Ok I know the parent... Just didn't know i knew her. Small community.. She is a spin teacher at the YMCA. I take spin very week from a different instructor but she has subbed in our class. Now to decide what to do...

Ame... Your story breaks my heart. Thank you for sharing. I don't want my daughter to live with fears. She hates middle school already I don't want to see it get worse. I promise I don't ignore it! That's why I took the phone told her my full name and that I would call the school and her mother.

Ilander... You are a fireball. Can I get her number and you call her for me?

 

[Rosebloom]

Oh Mayk! How terrible! I'm so very sorry. Please give your daughter a million hugs from us. What a nightmare.

I would definitely talk to the school and probably the mom too. Your daughter needs your protection right now. Model for her how to handle anger and how to solve problems with grace and integrity. Keep us posted please. I'll be praying for you both!

 

[ame]

I hope that whatever tack you take that it is done and handled and that she really feels safe and protected and that she can stand up for herself but sometimes you have to call in the big guns. It's not ok!

I feel shame sometimes that after all this time I carry that around like a huge suitcase but I do wish I had some advocation in the past that had done something more. I cannot imagine being a kid today with cellphones and Facebook. It was hell without that! I got crap from two of the "ring leaders" at Weight Watchers of all places. It was somehow ok that they were there bec they had just had kids. I had no excuse because I was fat and worthless. No, we aren't in our 30s! Thankfully the leader heard them and told them they weren't welcome back. But I wonder what will happen when their kids are older.

 

[distracts]

Ugh Ame I am so with you on this. I'm a decade younger but still dealing with the scars from bullying in elementary and middle school. In high school and college I had really good groups of friends so I was able to get over the trust issue somewhat, but there are a lot of behaviors that I can trace back to specific things I did to minimize bullying. I was so depressed and suicidal in middle school - I cried every day and worse, and it triggered lifelong depression that I have to deal with every day still - even if I'm not depressed I have to take my meds, go to therapy, and keep on the lookout for triggers.

And Mayk, that's my useful piece of advice - if your daughter seems to be crying about it a lot or shows symptoms of depression, please take her to a child psychologist. Even if you think she'll just snap out of it, don't take the risk. Let her know that therapy is just another tool you use to learn how to think about things better. Or get her some books on the psychology of bullies or something. Just be sure you're doing everything to give her the tools to understand what is happening, because that will make her feel like she has more power over the situation. (And if switching schools once the scoliosis brace comes off is an option, it may be one you want to pursue. I switched schools to a nerd school for high school and it was probably the best decision of my entire educational career.)

 

[ame]

I would like to say it goes away and that it's something you can just get over but it's not that easy! At least you recognize it. It took me a long time to really accept that was why I was so untrusting and so "damaged" and really point the finger at it. I didn't want to believe that those people and that garbage really did affect me. I wanted to believe it was not a big deal and that I was better. It was crap and I was lying to myself but I tried.

I do like the idea of a different school if it becomes a necessity. If for no other reason than academic success.

 

[JaneSmith]

Bloody hell.
This isn't even the first time she's been bullied at this school? What is it with kids picking on her for having scoliosis? $#!%!

I'm glad you sent that text to the awful girl. At least she got a little fright. But unfortunately she will turn her momentary embarrassment into anger directed at your daughter, and she knows that texting may be out but there are plenty of mum-free avenues of communication left to her.
You need to take your evidence (the texts) to the school immediately. Meet face to face with the principal. Get your daughter to document journal style all further incidents of bullying. Meet face to face with the principal with each new incident.
If nothing changes and your daughter is suffering, pull her out of school. Change schools or homeschool. It is crushing and debilitating to be forced to return day after day to a hostile environment. It drains all joy and leaves only emptiness, anxiety, and fear.
If the awful girl stops bullying but other kids leave her alone and shun her for being a whistleblower, that is OK. As long as your daughter is not bothered by being ignored.
Call the mother. She may be horrified, or not, but you have said to the awful girl that you will so you must follow through. I understand how intimidating the prospect is, but just keep it short and to the point. Be aware that even if the mum is a nice, normal person who is shocked with awful girl's behavior and tries to talk to awful girl about it/gives a punishment, awful girl may still take it out on your daughter. Again, get your daughter to document everything.



iLander, great phone call script.

Distracts, great point about watching for depression.

CanukGal, you're right, high school can suck just as much.

Ame, I have no words. I'm so sorry that this has been such a big part of your life. What a pack of low-life non-thinking losers those people are. Unbelievable.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I would contact the middle school.

I would contact the girl's mother.

My kids are very young, but I would absolutely get involved and get the "authorities" (school and parents) involved in a situation like this. Its not only for your daughter's good -- knowing she has people who will protect her when she needs it -- but its also for the girl being a bully. The sooner she learns that aggressive behavior has negative consequences, the better.

ETA: The other side of this is to teach your daughter tools to deal with this type of thing herself, too. You cannot rely on the other girls parents or the school to actually do what YOU want them to do. But that is the same in almost every facet of life. How many people ever really get what they want from others? But that does not mean you should not report bad behavior to the people who are cahrged with controlling bad behavior. Teachers and principals at school. Law enforcement in other situation. Will they do what you want? Maybe, maybe not. But that does not mean you should not tell them. And then you move forward with your own plans to cope with the situation. Your daughter will need life skills to cope with bullies now, and later in life. So a two pongerd approach: Report, move through the "system" as you should, and also help her learn important life skills too.

 

[Dancing Fire]

the best way to handle a bully is to "kick their A$$"...

when i was in middle school this guy kept on bullying me and so one day i decided to "KICK HIS A$$",problem solved ...

 

[LaraOnline]

I would contact the middle school.

I would contact the girl's mother.

My kids are very young, but I would absolutely get involved and get the "authorities" (school and parents) involved in a situation like this. Its not only for your daughter's good -- knowing she has people who will protect her when she needs it -- but its also for the girl being a bully. The sooner she learns that aggressive behavior has negative consequences, the better.

ETA: The other side of this is to teach your daughter tools to deal with this type of thing herself, too. You cannot rely on the other girls parents or the school to actually do what YOU want them to do. But that is the same in almost every facet of life. How many people ever really get what they want from others? But that does not mean you should not report bad behavior to the people who are cahrged with controlling bad behavior. Teachers and principals at school. Law enforcement in other situation. Will they do what you want? Maybe, maybe not. But that does not mean you should not tell them. And then you move forward with your own plans to cope with the situation. Your daughter will need life skills to cope with bullies now, and later in life. So a two pongerd approach: Report, move through the "system" as you should, and also help her learn important life skills too.

I am not so sure about this (that unhappiness about bullying is about the natural problem we all have with our inability to control others). As adults, people who harrass or assault others are charged, or a restraining order is filed.

Bullying is a very old-fashioned violence that should not be accepted in the modern age, in my view. We know so much more about the long term effects now.

Ame, your story of being slow to heal is very, very common! Unfortunately. One young man I knew years ago sticks in my mind. He was incredibly high achieving (and goodlooking *cough*)...and yet the mindless bullying by good-for-nothing low-lives has REALLY affected him, decades on.

The other issue is that institutions often provide no more than lip service to the family of a bullied child.

I know a family whose son was attacked - bones in his foot were broken as these bullies jumped up and down on his limbs. Of course, the bullies denied everything and the school was in a mind to minimise everything. The mother had to get a letter from the doctor advising the school that the injuries had NOT occurred as the result of a fall!!! Eventually, that family moved their son to another school.

If you are at all unhappy with how things are dealt with, I would consider changing schools. And I would strongly consider filing charges, if the bullies do anything illegal.

iLander, AMAZING post. I'm thinking I might copy that and save, for future reference!

 

[justginger]

I am so sorry you and your daughter are having to go through such a difficult ordeal, Mayk. I agree entirely with iLander, she's a genius with her approach. You need to take this on head first - there's nothing a bully hates more than an assertive, confident, calm person who dominates a situation in a fair manner.

Good luck and big hugs to your darling daughter.

 

[princesss]

*big hugs* to you and your daughter. I am not a parent and I have no idea how to handle the situation, but as a kid who was bullied mercilessly, my heart goes out to you guys.

 

[rosetta]

the best way to handle a bully is to "kick their A$$"...

when i was in middle school this guy kept on bullying me and so one day i decided to "KICK HIS A$$",problem solved ...

LOL. My ten year old slf thought the same. I got tired of bullying and stood up one day to the 3 boys who kept threatening to beat my head in. Yeah, I was going to get hurt, but I was going to go down fighting, no matter that I was a foot shorter than all 3 of them. Once I stood up to them, they suddenly didn't want to fight anymore.

I'm not suggesting your daughter do the same Mayk, but d*mm I was empowered that day and it has made me strong ever since. The bullying stopped and I'm almost thankful to the little creeps (I wish I could find them again one day to embarrass the hell outta them)

 

[Mayk]

OK.. a letter to the Dean who responded by 8:00 a.m. this morning...

and a letter to the mother because I couldn't find a telephone number.. with a copy to the dean so he knew what was said...

I'll let you know what happens...

No bat this time... I'll save it for next time!