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Broken engagement; $100K e-ring

skypie

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https://www.marketwatch.com/story/a...return-of-a-100000-engagement-ring-2018-09-25

In short: A guy (not me, obviously) buys fiancee a $100K engagement ring (drains his savings, uses 2 credit cards and borrows $30,000 from family/friends), a year later they break up and she refuses to return the ring.

Other facts: he was the sole breadwinner throughout the duration of their relationship as she has been a doctoral student with no income. The ring is a 4.06 carat G VS 2 OEC.

What do you think should happen here?
 
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SimoneDi

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By law, the ring is his, so he should get it back. But who in their right mind will drain their savings and borrow thousands of dollars for an engagement ring??? :roll

ETA: The former fiancé is an attorney - LOL. This lawsuit is likely to cost him not only time and resources, but also his reputation.

Picture of the ring since that is really what we care about :)
StrasservsDickens.jpg
 
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AprilBaby

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He gets the ring back. No marriage.
 

LinSF

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Ring is his, marital contract did not occur. What a dufus to borrow money and use credit cards for the purchase! That also does seem high for an OEC, even of those specifications.

Maybe he needs the press to boost his career?
 

skypie

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Ring is his, marital contract did not occur. What a dufus to borrow money and use credit cards for the purchase! That also does seem high for an OEC, even of those specifications.

Maybe he needs the press to boost his career?

He is a lawyer at a big law firm in DC. A story like this makes him seem like a bit of a buffoon when it comes to finances...doubt he would do something like this to boost his career.
 

SimoneDi

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He is a lawyer at a big law firm in DC. A story like this makes him seem like a bit of a buffoon when it comes to finances...doubt he would do something like this to boost his career.
That was my initial take as well. I ended up finding the official complaint filed..I feel terrible for this guy. He was obviously very naive, trusting, generous, and somehow in love, but wow, that woman is the devil. :angryfire: What a con artist. If nothing else, at least her reputation should be destroyed.
For anyone interested: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pQTAAok3yc3JBVxyNVh6Xz_nuXpg_KUl/view?et=editorial&bu=The American Lawyer&cn=20180925&src=EMC-Email&pt=Litigation Daily
Please note that this is public information.
 

diamondseeker2006

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Wow, diamond ring came from Betteridge, very reputable jeweler.

Yeah, she's bad. Very bad. The only good thing I can think of to say about her is that she has good taste in engagement rings. He was way too lenient on her after the break up. At the very least, her Daddy should have been paying the rent.
 
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doberman

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I don't know why she thinks she can keep the ring, what a tool. He's easily manipulated and she's probably very good looking and calculating. Not a good combination.
 

rocks

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Wow, diamond ring came from Betteridge, very reputable jeweler.

Yeah, she's bad. Very bad. The only good thing I can think of to say about her is that she has good taste in engagement rings. He was way too lenient on her after the break up. At the very least, her Daddy should have been paying the rent.

Betteridge is REALLY expensive.
 

LetLoveRule

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She definitely should give the ring back, poor guy. And wow, that's a lot of money to wear on your finger :eek2:

But.. Would that still be the case if he cheated on her? (Not implying that's the case here, just curious if opinions would be different if he turned out to be a "less desirable man" to marry?)
 

SimoneDi

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She definitely should give the ring back, poor guy. And wow, that's a lot of money to wear on your finger :eek2:

But.. Would that still be the case if he cheated on her? (Not implying that's the case here, just curious if opinions would be different if he turned out to be a "less desirable man" to marry?)
No, the law is the law and it is generally not concerned at all with infidelity. Prior to marriage, the ring belongs to the giver, after marriage, the ring belongs to the receiver. In some states, an engagement ring or jewelry could be considered marital property.
 

Johnbt

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Whew, and I thought I'd made some bad mistakes many years ago. :boohoo:

FWIW, he's living in an apartment not too far from my house. It's a very nice neighborhood, and not a bad 2-bedroom on the second floor of a century old house. And only $1500/month with off-street parking.

The good news is... SHE'S GONE. :clap:
 

diamondseeker2006

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Betteridge is REALLY expensive.

It is, but a 4 ct G VS2 well cut OEC is rare and likely would cost close to that much elsewhere. There are 4.0-4.10 ct G VS2s on James Allen: 3 are $75-87K, 3 are $93-99.6k, and none are as well cut as the OEC.
 

eapj

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That was my initial take as well. I ended up finding the official complaint filed..I feel terrible for this guy. He was obviously very naive, trusting, generous, and somehow in love, but wow, that woman is the devil. :angryfire: What a con artist. If nothing else, at least her reputation should be destroyed.
For anyone interested: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pQTAAok3yc3JBVxyNVh6Xz_nuXpg_KUl/view?et=editorial&bu=The American Lawyer&cn=20180925&src=EMC-Email&pt=Litigation Daily
Please note that this is public information.

WOW. The more I read the more angry I got at the ex-fiance. He did everything to try to please her.
 

MamaBee

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I hope no one ever wants to have a relationship with her after finding out what she did..Just selfish..Her parents must be proud..
I’m not able to read the whole story..Did he sue her and get it back?
 

peacechick

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Wow read the whole thing, and just, wow. She drove a humvee zigzag all over him and he didn’t fight back. That was not an engagement ring he could afford and he should never have taken loans to buy it. Any woman that asks that of you doesn’t really love you.
 

bludiva

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I wonder if she reads pricescope, that's such a specific type of ring she wanted. I hope she does so she can read what a POS person everyone thinks she is. He should not have moved forward with the engagement given her ridiculous demands though imho.. red flags all over the place.
 

Kaycee2018

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https://www.marketwatch.com/story/a...return-of-a-100000-engagement-ring-2018-09-25

In short: A guy (not me, obviously) buys fiancee a $100K engagement ring (drains his savings, uses 2 credit cards and borrows $30,000 from family/friends), a year later they break up and she refuses to return the ring.

Other facts: he was the sole breadwinner throughout the duration of their relationship as she has been a doctoral student with no income. The ring is a 4.06 carat G VS 2 OEC.

What do you think should happen here?

Without looking at the article or reading the replies, I will say that legally it varies by state. And generally (but not always ), if the ring was given for a holiday (Christmas, birthday, etc), it is usually legally a gift and hers regardless if it results in marriage, but given at any other time he usually would retain ownership if there were no marriage. But state laws vary and morally, it’s a different argument entirely. But buying a $100K ring that your clearly cannot afford by draining savings and borrowing is a different issue all together. Good grief
 

bludiva

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I wonder if she reads pricescope, that's such a specific type of ring she wanted. I hope she does so she can read what a POS person everyone thinks she is. He should not have moved forward with the engagement given her ridiculous demands though imho.. red flags all over the place.
 

Bron357

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Wow, not nice.
He needs to keep the insurance up as I imagine such a ring in such circumstances is at distinct risk of being mysteriously “lost, misplaced or stolen”.
Might make for an interesting outcome as I’m sure being a PhD candidate doesn’t means you’re as smart as you think you are!
 

AV_

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.

The ring is likely to return to the market soon, it seems... - requiring some kind of powerful exorcism before ever gracing another engagement!

Only half joking here :errrr: - put off :(sad
 

KKJohnson

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MamaBee

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tkyasx78

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Most states the law is clear, the engagement ring is a gift that is conditional on the marriage. Once she says "I do" it belongs to her entirely, prior to that it is a conditional item that regardless of the reason, if they do not marry must be returned to the giver.
He is an idiot for taking a loan of any sort to pay for a ring, but since they did not marry, it belongs to him still.
 
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