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Birthday gift from a friend...

What would you tell him/her?

  • "Oh, just your friendship is enough for me!"

    Votes: 17 48.6%
  • "I have really wanted this [point to item that costs $0-$25] for a while!"

    Votes: 10 28.6%
  • "I have really wanted this [point to item that costs $26-$50] for a while!"

    Votes: 3 8.6%
  • "I have really wanted this [point to item that costs $51-$75] for a while!"

    Votes: 1 2.9%
  • "I have really wanted this [point to item that costs $76-$100] for a while!"

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • "I have really wanted this [point to item that costs $101+] for a while!"

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I would tell them what I wanted, regardless of the cost (as in, I wouldn't even consider the cost wh

    Votes: 4 11.4%

  • Total voters
    35

alli_esq

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
909
Of course, it's my own fault for asking to begin with, but I was surprised when I asked a friend recently what she wanted for her birthday what she said...so I am curious to see what PSers would do if asked!

If a pretty good friend were to ask you what gift you wanted for your birthday, (and you knew he/she was going to give you SOMEthing no matter what):
 

alli_esq

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
909
Ooooops, I didn't realize the question was going to come out that way--sorry! The question is:

If a pretty good friend were to ask you what gift you wanted for your birthday, (and you knew he/she was going to give you SOMEthing no matter what), what would you tell him/her?
 

Lottie

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 28, 2008
Messages
701
I would ask her to take me for lunch, the time spent together enjoying a peaceful lunch would mean more to me than a material gift. Buyer chooses venue to suit their own budget.
 

Circe

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
8,087
Once we got out of, say, the $50 range (tops), I think I'd probably just name a thing that had a range.

"I've been wanting some Shalimar!" - up to them as to whether they get the 50 ml EDT or the 200 ml parfum

Otherwise it just seems like it has the potential to get ... awkward.

I will say, I got asked this question at a remove on behalf of my best friend this year: I gave the asker a range of things I knew she wanted, from a recently released book to a moderately priced necklace to a laptop. The friend? Jumped at the prospect of going in on the computer with me and a group of likeminded others. So I guess you never know ...
 

Skippy123

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2006
Messages
24,299
Lottie UK|1318973351|3042973 said:
I would ask her to take me for lunch, the time spent together enjoying a peaceful lunch would mean more to me than a material gift. Buyer chooses venue to suit their own budget.
that is what my friends and I do! It is the BEST!
 

alli_esq

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
909
ooooh, good one, Lottie and Skippy! That's what most of my friends do too (usually dinner though)...but I should have specified that this was a LONG-DISTANCE friend :D
 

ChloeTheGreat

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 25, 2009
Messages
682
If I was asked like that, I would tell them something small (as in the under $25 range) and then if they felt they wanted to spend more than that they could also give a small gift card or other small item to go along with it.
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
22,498
I picked the first but after re-reading your later post (knowing that you were going to get me something no matter what)...then
I would pick something inexpensive that I really wanted (that made a nice gift).
 

jaysonsmom

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2004
Messages
3,465
I always ask for movie tickets, or gift cards to Kohls (my favorite store) or a tickets to a show I want to see. My 2 best friends always go in on a gift for me each year. They usually spend about $40 each for a total of $80, and that amount has been "set" for about 15 years!
 

kama_s

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
3,617
I have been asked that and I usually suggest going out for a reasonably priced meal or drinks. I prefer doing a fun activity together instead of getting something.

Works out with almost everyone but my best friend. The last three years I've taken her for pedicures, hair blow-outs, restaurant (all stuff she loves. I've never even splurged on a blow-out for myself!). The last three years I've gotten: nothing, dollar store card and this year a small desktop calendar. I love her anyways, but she SUCKS at this :cheeky:

ETA: Forgot to add, I would never ask for anything more than 25$ - be it gift or activity.
 

zoebartlett

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2006
Messages
12,450
I voted for the first option. If I was asked this question, I'd say that I wouldn't want anything other than to spend time together. I might suggest going out for coffee, lunch, whatever, but I definitely wouldn't ask for a gift.

ETA: I wouldn't ask my friend to go out so she could treat. I'd just say something like, "I don't want anything for my birthday. I would love to get together soon though. Let's catch up over coffee (or whatever). Why don't we meet at [name of place] on Saturday. I can't wait to see you!" If my friend wanted to pay, I wouldn't put up too much of a fight. :bigsmile:
 

Autumnovember

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
4,384
It really depends. If it were are a friend from nursing school (who I am definitely close with) I'd just say "nothing!" and then I know they would eventually convince me to go out for dinner or something like that.

If it were my bestest friend I'd probably ask for something thats 100+ $ BUT that is because we spend that much on each other every single year. It's kind of been our thing for many years and it goes without being said that we will be spending that much and we have no problems pointing out to each other what we want.
 

canuk-gal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 19, 2004
Messages
21,158
Skippy|1318974833|3042990 said:
Lottie UK|1318973351|3042973 said:
I would ask her to take me for lunch, the time spent together enjoying a peaceful lunch would mean more to me than a material gift. Buyer chooses venue to suit their own budget.
that is what my friends and I do! It is the BEST!
Yup we do lunch gigs. Loads-o-wine...but that is just US! hahahaaa :devil:

cheers--Sharon
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
In my group of friends, we try to accommodate regardless of cost. We totally 'get it' that a person might rather have one large gift than ten small. One person will volunteer to get the gift, and everyone else will either give cash or paypal the money to that person. We usually spend in the $35-$50 range, more for milestone bdays. For instance, I wanted a new backpacking backpack for my last bday. Everyone chipped in and got me a giftcard to REI. It covered all but about $30 of my new pack.

This could be tricky if you don't have a group of mutual friends, but I think it's pretty rude and presumptuous to ask for an expensive gift from just one person. I would give her a gift card and say here is $x towards ____.

I'm dying to know what she asked for! Can you say??
 

jaysonsmom

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2004
Messages
3,465
jaysonsmom said:
I always ask for movie tickets, or gift cards to Kohls (my favorite store) or a tickets to a show I want to see. My 2 best friends always go in on a gift for me each year. They usually spend about $40 each for a total of $80, and that amount has been "set" for about 15 years!
Oh, we do gifts, PLUS dinner and lots of wine!
 

junebug17

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 17, 2009
Messages
12,513
I would probably beg the person not to get me anything, that it's just not neccessary and that we should just go out to dinner and spend time together. Hopefully my friend would listen!
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
56,145
Maybe it is just an age thing, but my friends and I don't ever give birthday gifts (primarily because we already have too much stuff!). Lunch out is generally what we do. I would definitely say no gifts but lets go out for lunch or shopping. Even when it comes to Mother's Day or my birthday and my kids ask, I tell them a flowering plant for the deck or a mani/pedi gift certificate. Only my husband gets to spend the big bucks for my gifts! ;))
 

alli_esq

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
909

OUpearlgirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2007
Messages
3,081
I would probably say something that had a true price range. Usually if people ask I tell them what I like to do. "Oh I love to cook, so anything that can go with that." If I really am hoping for something more specific, I might say "I've been hunting for the perfect red necklace to wear for gamedays-- got any ideas?" That way they could spend $25 dollars at a costume jewelry boutique or $150 from a jeweler on etsy.

I've never been a fan of just giving someone a list, and having them pick off of it. FI's family does this for Christmas, and to me, it feels a little bit like filling an order. I like a little surprise in my life!
 

LJL

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 22, 2011
Messages
538
I don't have a large group of mutual friends - I have one or two from each stage in my life so the big gift doesnt work. Typically I would say we dont get each other anything since we all live far away from each other - but occasionally we will get something for the other when we meet up. Of course, this is almost always under $25. The most expensive gift I have ever gotten a friend (family and boyfriends excluded) was a $100 jacket and that is because I knew she was dying for it, but too modest to get it herself. I think that jacket counted for her birthday, Christmas, and every other holiday.

I'm fairly minimalist so I rarely want things. I tell people not to get me anything for gifts. Except my mother - she has to get me a new bottle of Britney Spears perfume every Christmas. :lol:
 

iheartscience

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2007
Messages
12,111
My friends and I don't really get each other actual gifts. We'll usually have a potluck or take whoever has a birthday out to dinner and split their meal among us. I can't imagine asking for a $70+ gift from one of them if they asked! :-o If a friend actually did ask me what I wanted, I'd say they could buy me a drink next time we went out.

So...are you going to get it for her? You could always ask if another friend wants to go in on it. Or just get her a QVC gift card (in whatever amount you feel comfortable with) that she can put towards it.
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
I vote for getting her a gift cert to QVC to *put towards* it. On principle I wouldn't buy it for her outright. I recently bought one of my closest friends her bday gift--I found some really cute striped inserts for her Hunter boots. I thought she would love them so I happily spent $45 on them, but if she asked for them I would not have wanted to buy them because I think it comes off as ungracious and demanding
 

alli_esq

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
909
thing2of2|1318994775|3043204 said:
My friends and I don't really get each other actual gifts. We'll usually have a potluck or take whoever has a birthday out to dinner and split their meal among us. I can't imagine asking for a $70+ gift from one of them if they asked! :-o If a friend actually did ask me what I wanted, I'd say they could buy me a drink next time we went out.

So...are you going to get it for her? You could always ask if another friend wants to go in on it. Or just get her a QVC gift card (in whatever amount you feel comfortable with) that she can put towards it.
We're long distance friends, as I mentioned, and I haven't met any of her other friends...

I will probably just buy it for her, since I know she will get a lot of use out of it and she could never afford it on her own...and I would hate for her just to get a giftcard on her birthday, since I'm one of the only people who will buy her anything for her birthday...I would like to get her something special that I know she will enjoy.

I think I'm just more concerned about setting a precedent for spending this much for birthdays...and we always send each other something small for Christmas too...and I am a little put off by her asking for something so expensive (could you tell???? :lol: )
 

moosemom

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 3, 2011
Messages
210
Even if I knew a friend was going to give me something no matter what, I would continue to say that a gift is not necessary. I would suggest spending time together doing something we love to do. Usually my friends and I take one another out to lunch or cook a nice meal to celebrate birthdays.
 

rubybeth

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2007
Messages
2,567
I haven't read the entire thread, but I am guessing you asked a friend and they named something quite expensive (or at least something out of my personal price range) as 'what they really want.' In that case, I wouldn't get them the item, but a nice card and a gift card (or cash) with a note saying that they can use the gift card toward the purchase of said expensive item. Or if we have friends in common, try to get everyone to go in on it together (my two girlfriends from college did this to get me an espresso machine for a wedding gift, and I've often done this for baby shower items like strollers).

Now, if it were my SISTER or one of my very close relatives, I'd probably try to find a way to get her what she really wants--scour eBay, split the cost with my mom, or combine gifts by giving it and saying 'This is for Christmas AND your birthday this year.' But my sister knows how much DH and I make and wouldn't ask for something unless she really, REALLY wanted it and knew that I could afford it.

My friends and I don't generally exchange gifts, but I have a few that like to do birthday/Christmas gifts if we're going to see each other around the holidays (we live in different cities). We usually do 'thoughtful' inexpensive gifts, like how my friends know I love Jane Austen and the Wizard of Oz (hence 'rubybeth'!), and they'll get me little things that have quotes from Austen's writing on them or images from the movie/Judy Garland (paperweights, bookmarks, journals, etc.). Those are the gifts that are the nicest, because I know they were just in a random shop and saw a pair of ruby slippers on a journal and thought, "I MUST get that for Beth!"

If a friend was really unsure what to get and wanted to gift me something, I would name something in the $1-$25 range (probably closer to $15) and/or tell them that I love getting gift cards for restaurants/coffee, and then invite them out with me to use the gift card. :bigsmile:
 

partgypsy

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 7, 2004
Messages
6,484
Except for family members I don't really exchange birthday gifts other than going out to lunch/bar for drinks, or bringing them a bottle of wine or their favorite six pack. Basically either something we can do together or something consumable. I would feel really uncomfortable asking a friend for an expensive gift. not that we don't talk about things we want (a certain gemstone, a new computer) but we don't assume the other is going to go out and buy that for a gift!

This may be because I know people from a wide range of incomes, from trust fund to barely making ends meet. I would never want to suggest something I thought a friend couldn't participate in.
 
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