At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sitter?

[kenny]

I realize kids vary, so I'm asking about the 'usual' kid.


Also, on a separate note ... are there laws about this?

 

[jaysonsmom]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

The laws vary by state, but I've checked, and CA does not have a set age where kids can be left by themselves. I have a 10 year old and a 12 year old. Both of which are pretty responsible. I occasionally leave them for 20 minutes or so when I run to the grocery store. I DO reinforce the fact that they are not to touch the stove or oven. If they get hungry, make a sandwich, or use the microwave for a quick snack.

 

[liaerfbv]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

I think it's different now than it was when I was growing up - my parents started leaving me home alone when I was 8 for a few hours. I played quietly or read. I have friends who have 13 year olds they won't leave home alone (perfectly normal, "usual", responsible kids) - but I think that's due to the helicoptering nature of parenthood these days.

 

[distracts]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

I think from the time I was about 12 I was left alone for short periods (may not have just depended on MY age since I have a brother who is 4 years younger). I wasn't left overnight alone until I was 15, but then only for a short while. When I was 16 and could drive I could opt out of family vacations and be left alone overnight for as much as two weeks at a time (I don't like traveling). My parents still occasionally had babysitters through about that time, but I think that's because my brother and I often needed a buffer or mediator, lol.

 

[momhappy]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

Laws vary by state.
I have no idea what the appropriate age is. Many people would consider my kids old enough to be left alone, but there's no way that I'd leave them alone. I have a friend who has no issue leaving hers alone for hours on end (sometimes, they are left to fix/eat their own dinner, put themselves to bed, etc.). IMO, her kids should not be left alone for lengthy amounts of time, but I use the none-of-my-business approach and I try to trust in the fact that the mom feels okay with it. One of her kids told my babysitter that he wished that they would still have babysitters (I guess because he's lonely, likes to be cared for, played with, etc.). Sad

 

[aljdewey]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

Gosh, I wouldn't even know how to answer this in today's climate!

By the time I was 9, I was watching my 6 y.o. sis while my parents went out for dinner/drinks in the evening; by 10.5, I was sitting for other people's kids for several evening hours, too.

These days, people call DSS if you leave your 10 yo alone! Crazy.

 

[Kelinas]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

Growing up in Korea....what are babysitters? Lol

I was left home alone at 4. I could go play with the kids outside with no worries since there was always a ninja Eemo (aunt) watching from somewhere. Although 99% of the time, they only come out to check when we were too loud.
At 6, I remember playing outside until the street lamps came on.

I'd say nowadays, 13?

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

My sister and I were left alone when she was 10, I was 8. At that age, we also knew how to make simple food (a basic omelet, rice, that sort of thing). One afternoon, my mother left us in the house while she went out to run a quick errand. We decided to surprise her by making her favourite bechamel sauce. We got out the recipe and started preparing the roux, which ended up looking like a weird cookie of some sort. We decided that must be right and soldiered on, adding the milk. Of course, that did not improve matters. By the time we realized that was not going to sort itself out, we barely had enough time to wash the pan and pretend that everything was just fine.

I was left completely on my own by age 12, I think. Mom was of the mind that it was safer to leave two younger kids alone (where one can phone or run for help) than one all by herself.

I remember reading an article once where a parent stated that her 10 year old daughter had never been by herself. No, not by herself as in alone in the house. By herself as in alone in a room with parents in the next (I imagine that she excluded bedtime and bathroom time - I hope!).

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

Mine DEMANDED to be left by himself when he was in the 4th grade. {can't remember his actual age}. We went out for dinner and I must have called him 5 times in 90 minutes, much to his annoyance.

I think it depends on the maturity level of the child and length of time you will be gone. My in-laws lived 3 blocks away, and I had warned them in advance when we would be leaving him.

 

[missy]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

The laws vary by state, but I've checked, and CA does not have a set age where kids can be left by themselves. I have a 10 year old and a 12 year old. Both of which are pretty responsible. I occasionally leave them for 20 minutes or so when I run to the grocery store. I DO reinforce the fact that they are not to touch the stove or oven. If they get hungry, make a sandwich, or use the microwave for a quick snack.

When my girlfriend's boys were younger (under 16) she wouldn't allow them to eat if they were by themselves in the house. She was concerned about them choking with no one there to help them.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

The laws vary by state, but I've checked, and CA does not have a set age where kids can be left by themselves. I have a 10 year old and a 12 year old. Both of which are pretty responsible. I occasionally leave them for 20 minutes or so when I run to the grocery store. I DO reinforce the fact that they are not to touch the stove or oven. If they get hungry, make a sandwich, or use the microwave for a quick snack.

When my girlfriend's boys were younger (under 16) she wouldn't allow them to eat if they were by themselves in the house. She was concerned about them choking with no one there to help them.

That never crossed my mind....but now that you mentioned it, anything could happen, reminds me of my friend who left her 16, 14 and 11 year old kids at home to go hiking with the rest of us "adults" and they called to tell her that the downstairs bathroom flooded due to one of them stuffing too much toilet paper in the toilet, and flushing it multiple times to try to unclog the pipes.

 

[missy]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

The laws vary by state, but I've checked, and CA does not have a set age where kids can be left by themselves. I have a 10 year old and a 12 year old. Both of which are pretty responsible. I occasionally leave them for 20 minutes or so when I run to the grocery store. I DO reinforce the fact that they are not to touch the stove or oven. If they get hungry, make a sandwich, or use the microwave for a quick snack.

When my girlfriend's boys were younger (under 16) she wouldn't allow them to eat if they were by themselves in the house. She was concerned about them choking with no one there to help them.

That never crossed my mind....but now that you mentioned it, anything could happen, reminds me of my friend who left her 16, 14 and 11 year old kids at home to go hiking with the rest of us "adults" and they called to tell her that the downstairs bathroom flooded due to one of them stuffing too much toilet paper in the toilet, and flushing it multiple times to try to unclog the pipes.

Hahaha, I can just picture that happening.

 

[diamondringlover]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

my oldest around 12-13, my youngest some at age 11...but I work within 15 mins from home and have a good hometown network if something came up and they both were responsible.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

11 or 12?

 

[MMtwo]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

In my state there is no legal age, but more prudent decision making by a parent. 11 or 12 is just fine to stay home while a parent takes a store run. Absolutely bad practice to leave a 12 year old home while you book a beach weekend with friends My 17 year old stayed home often while her dad was out of town. However, she always had family within 5 miles.

 

[baby monster]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

I think it depends on the kid. Things are different nowadays. I walked home alone from school starting at age 8. Made my own lunch (stove, knives, the whole shebang), did homework and went outside to play with the rest of latchkey kids. Nobody watched us. No cell phones back in those days. Nothing bad ever happened.

 

[woofmama]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

Junior High age. 11 to 12 yrs old. Our suburb has an after school care program in conjunction with the park district. Both of my sons were enrolled in that. Only students age K thru 5th are eligible. So kids around here age out at 11 yrs old. If working parents didn't trust their kid to be alone they had to find another solution.
I had no problem with that because both of my sons were very capable of taking care of themselves by then.
My DH and I also felt fine leaving them alone from 11-12 yrs old to go out for dinner or run errands. I did have my mom come stay at our house when DH & I took a trip, but for regular everyday stuff they could be alone. So far they have survived to 22 yrs old and 15 yrs old with zero mishaps

 

[Gypsy]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

I was allowed to fly by myself at 10. And allowed to stay home alone at 10 too. But wasn't allowed to watch anyone else till 12. I was watching my cousins for short stints (three hours or so max) at 12. I generally think around 10-12 to be reasonable, depending on the kid. That's when my nieces were all allowed to stay home and I thought all of them (there are 6) were old enough for that too. After elementary school, during middle school.

But I don't have kids of my own.

 

[sonnyjane]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

I took the Red Cross babysitting training course when I was 11. We learned CPR/first aid skills and got a little card that said we completed the course. After that I started babysitting others. So certainly by 11 you can be left alone if responsible.

 

[LaraOnline]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

Laws vary by state.
I have no idea what the appropriate age is. Many people would consider my kids old enough to be left alone, but there's no way that I'd leave them alone. I have a friend who has no issue leaving hers alone for hours on end (sometimes, they are left to fix/eat their own dinner, put themselves to bed, etc.). IMO, her kids should not be left alone for lengthy amounts of time, but I use the none-of-my-business approach and I try to trust in the fact that the mom feels okay with it. One of her kids told my babysitter that he wished that they would still have babysitters (I guess because he's lonely, likes to be cared for, played with, etc.). Sad

My mother felt her own working calss mother was 'overbearing', and because we were responsible kids we were left to our own devices much of the time.
I remember one exciting occasion when my younger sister and I had to dinky our disabled brother on a bicycle to the doctor - and he got his feet caught in the spokes enroute! Just another exciting episode in my childhood.
FYI I would have been seen as a middle class or even privileged child by the public service people who decide who fits where on the social spectrum.

Yes, this type of childhood affected my relationship with my mother and while I have forgiven her to a large extent, I will never forget.

I voted 'age 15' for being left alone on a regular basis!!!

 

[monarch64]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

I took the Red Cross babysitting training course when I was 11. We learned CPR/first aid skills and got a little card that said we completed the course. After that I started babysitting others. So certainly by 11 you can be left alone if responsible.

I did the same--it was called the "Super Sitter" class. I was 11 or 12, and I started babysitting that summer for a little boy down the street from where we lived. It was a really easy gig--he would go to bed about half an hour after I arrived, so all I had to do was sit up and read magazines and watch t.v., and know how to call the restaurant/his parents and my parents.

The next summer I babysat my cousin, who was 8 and a horrible child (always had been.) He still needs a babysitter to this day.

It just depends on the child.

 

[makemepretty]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

There's no set age legally in Michigan. I'd feel 12 is fine. My kids used to fight if I left them alone together to go to the store, then I'd get a call that the other one was hiding the phone so he couldn't call and tell me. I'd rush home, even though I was only 15 min away. Most daycares don't accept kids 12 and up, so there is no other choice than to leave them at home alone since both parents work usually. I know my niece turns 12 at the end of this year and next summer, she'll be home while her sister 8 goes to daycare. That's a good idea, because the 12 year old might be mature enough to be home for a few hours but not mature enough to take care of another kid.

 

[yennyfire]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

There's no set age legally in Michigan. I'd feel 12 is fine. My kids used to fight if I left them alone together to go to the store, then I'd get a call that the other one was hiding the phone so he couldn't call and tell me. I'd rush home, even though I was only 15 min away. Most daycares don't accept kids 12 and up, so there is no other choice than to leave them at home alone since both parents work usually. I know my niece turns 12 at the end of this year and next summer, she'll be home while her sister 8 goes to daycare. That's a good idea, because the 12 year old might be mature enough to be home for a few hours but not mature enough to take care of another kid.

LOL, makemepretty! That sounds like my sister and me!! I'm thinking middle school. My DS is pretty responsible at 9, but I'm not ready to even leave him alone while I run to the store...just the other day, I told him to set the microwave timer so that he'd know when his 30 minutes of electronics time was up and I came to the kitchen a couple of minutes later to see that he'd turned the microwave ON....good thing I was there...I'm guessing an empty microwave would catch fire after too long!! So, clearly not ready to be left alone yet...and my 7 year old DD gets into enough trouble when I AM home, so I don't see leaving her by herself til she's 20!

 

[luv2sparkle]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

I was home alone all the time by the time I was 11. Now I think a kid could stay home for a short time between 12-13, but then after they reach 16 it is a whole new set of problems. So I think they shouldn't be left alone until they move out and can pay their own rent!

 

[redleaf]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

Anyone remember the Babysitters Club books? I think the youngest babysitters in that series were 11? I remember my friends in sixth grade were already babysitting at that age as well. I don't have kids, but it surprises me when I hear of friends or coworkers who still get babysitters for their middle-school-aged children. I guess things are different now.

 

[arkieb1]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

I think it depends on the maturity of the child involved. I used to be a teacher (12 to 18 year olds) and some were very mature beyond their years at an early age others were complete monsters you would not trust until they were 17 or 18+ and even then I think you would have to supervise a few so they didn't burn the house down, set fire to things, cut themselves, break any limbs doing dumb things like jumping off buildings, driving the car without a license (I knew an 8 year old that decided to take her mothers car for a ride with a heap of other kids in the car) etc....

 

[missy]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

Remembering back I *think* I was about 12 when I started babysitting for my cousins who were very young at the time. One was under 1 y.o. and the other two were 3 and 5 y.o and the older two were sort of bratty lol if memory serves me correctly.

My first experience babysitting was not great as the little one vomited all over himself and well I didn't have the stomach to clean him up by myself so had to call my mom since we fortunately only lived a few miles away. I didn't have any other bad experiences babysitting after that inaugural babysit experience.

Wish I could remember what my cousins (the parents) paid me-something like a dollar or 2 an hour? Not sure. But hey any spending $ was good $. And I did obtain a bf by doing this babysitting gig as my cousin's neighbor boy was in love with me at first sight and my cousin told him to stay away and fortunately he didn't listen lol. Though I never socialized while on duty.

And though I do not have kids I very seriously doubt I would ever let a 12 yo no matter how mature babysit my toddlers! Crazy IMO. I would hope I would not be an overprotective mama but by the same token I would be cautious. My sister does not have anyone but my parents or my dh and me babysit my nieces and they are not so young (six and eight) so I would think they are at the age where a non family member could babysit but my sister and her dh are very very cautious. Even more than I would be I think and they hardly make time for just themselves.

Anyway, each situation is unique to each family so I think a general rule is difficult. It is not easy to navigate life with small children and still have time for yourselves. That is a fact no matter the family.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

I babysat at 12, and I sometimes think kids that age can be more responsible than older kids are now! I had a grocery store a mile from our house, and I left my kids for short trips to the store younger than that with no problems. We rarely left them as we took them places with us most of the time. I really do think it depends on the kids and how long you are talking about leaving them.

 

[KristyDarling]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

Our son is 11 and starting middle school this fall. Our daughter is 9 1/2. There's no legal age minimum in our state for leaving children home alone. A few times now we've left them home alone for 2-3 hours while DH and I go out for a grown-up dinner. Our kids are not risk-takers -- they're super cautious and conservative by nature -- so we feel comfortable leaving them to their own devices for short periods.

In polling our friends with kids the same age, we're in the middle of the pack. Some of our friends started letting their kids stay at home alone at age 10 for short stints. Others have not yet allowed it and their oldest child is already 12 or older. Some 11-year-old girls at our school have already completed their babysitter's training program and are "qualified" to care for others. We live in a major city so safety and security are always a concern, and we do have rules: Never open the door for ANYONE, never leave the house, and check in with us via text every 30 minutes. (some of these rules will relax in the coming years) They know how to call for help in an emergency and they're not allowed to use the stove/oven.

That said, we do still occasionally use a babysitter if we're gonna be out for more than 2-3 hours. Our sitter is only 2 years older than our son, a fact he loves to point out. In the end, it's so individual. Which is probably why some states don't have laws about this. There are mature 10 year olds who'd be totally fine alone, just as there are some super-immature teens who should never be left alone.

 

[lyra]

Re: At what age does the usual kid no longer need a baby sit

My eldest daughter did the babysitting course and CPR courses at 12. I felt comfortable letting her watch her younger sister during the day while we went shopping, that sort of thing. It wasn't until they were in their 20's that they confessed to us that whenever they were left alone together, the older one would pick on the younger one and sometimes chase her around the house with a butcher knife. All in fun of course! I swear, they're trying to give me a heart attack. I had no idea. YMMV.