Are you wealthier than your SO?

[kenny]

I'm curious how people feel about wealth with respect to themselves and their SO.

No answer is right or wrong.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

All that we have belongs to us equally.

 

[Dancing Fire]

the wife b/c i pay all the bills...

 

[Dancing Fire]

.

 

[SB621]

I make signifcantly more then my DH. But with that said, what's his is mine and what's mine is mine

Ok so seriously I do make more but it all goes to the same pot either way.

 

[vc10um]

I make signifcantly more then my DH. But with that said, what's his is mine and what's mine is mine
Ok so seriously I do make more but it all goes to the same pot either way.

Well said, Sarah! LOL

I'm in the same boat. I make more than DH, but view that everything, from debts to doorknobs, is ours.

 

[diamondringlover]

We share our money, but I do make more money then he does..not by much but a little bit more....

 

[missy]

My dh earns a bit over 5 times what I earn (mainly because I am so darn underpaid!) but we share everything. When we got married we merged all our accounts and we are each other's beneficiaries on what we couldn't merge. We own everything equally and have always felt that way. It works for us. I understand that doesn't work for everyone.

 

[rosetta]

Yes yes yes I'm wealthier dammit!!! IM WEALTHIER!!

I'm shouting this as loud as I can, as for another 5 months, my potential salary is £200 more than his per month.

In September, his salary will triple. Mine will also rise significantly, but only because I'm not working now

Where is the jealous icon--------> ok, this will do:






(alright alright, it all goes in the same pot. But I have my pride dammit and I won't deny it, I liked being the rich wife )

 

[rosetta]

My dh earns a bit over 5 times what I earn (mainly because I am so darn underpaid!) but we share everything. When we got married we merged all our accounts and we are each other's beneficiaries on what we couldn't merge. We own everything equally and have always felt that way. It works for us. I understand that doesn't work for everyone.

Missy I've always been curious about what you do for a living? If youre not comfortable sharing, that's a-ok too, I'd completely understand.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

My BF makes several times what I earn but my net worth is much, much larger than his.

I earned a good salary for several years and I am a saver, so I quit the corporate world with a nice amount of money stashed away. Now, I am an artisan and an independent investor. Yeah, not a lot of cash flow. My BF is significantly younger than I and earned a decent salary but is not a saver. Now, he has a very well paying job. So he has cash flow, I have net worth. I am trying to change this, so he has cash flow and net worth. Just give him 8 years or so.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Right now, I make just a little more than my SO, but I am near the top of my earning potential, and he is not. Honestly, we switch places often.

What we do, is that all our money goes into a joint account, and we get an equal amount put into our "fun money" account. We can do whatever we want with that account with no questions asked. For the joint account, we have to get verbal permission before we get anything over a set amount.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I am quite certain I am not and that is why I spend "his" money.

cheers--Sharon

 

[NOYFB]

I make signifcantly more then my DH. But with that said, what's his is mine and what's mine is mine

Ok so seriously I do make more but it all goes to the same pot either way.

Ha ha! But, yes, this. I make more than DH but we share everything.

 

[missy]

My dh earns a bit over 5 times what I earn (mainly because I am so darn underpaid!) but we share everything. When we got married we merged all our accounts and we are each other's beneficiaries on what we couldn't merge. We own everything equally and have always felt that way. It works for us. I understand that doesn't work for everyone.

Missy I've always been curious about what you do for a living? If youre not comfortable sharing, that's a-ok too, I'd completely understand.

Hi Rosetta, that's OK-I don't mind. I am an optometrist and I work at a not-for-profit multidisciplinary health clinic. That's a mouthful lol. Our patients are developmentally disabled adults primarily though we do see children too. I am very concerned because the budget cuts are going to affect our clinic and patients considerably I fear. I am already limited on what I can prescribe these days. I cannot tell you how many calls I have been getting from the pharmacies saying this drug or that drug is no longer covered.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

I am not sure if Kenny was asking about wealth or income/ They are two different measurements, but most answers have been about income.

I have more wealth, less income. Some things are in my name only.

 

[Laila619]

All that we have belongs to us equally.

Ditto. We're married and I'm a SAHM, while he works. The money he makes is 'ours.'

Now if you ask who was wealthier when we first met, that would actually be me.

 

[Autumnovember]

Nope! He makes a lot more than I do at the moment... eventually I'll make a lot closer to what he does.

 

[SB621]

(alright alright, it all goes in the same pot. But I have my pride dammit and I won't deny it, I liked being the rich wife )

Rosetta in the States we call this a sugar mama

 

[jaysonsmom]

Yes, I'm wealthier in bring-home income and net worth (my parents have been slowly distributing their wealth to my brother and I through the years in the form of money transfers and putting properties in our name) even though they are both living and healthy as oxes. They are essentially giving us our inheritence while living.

My husband on the other hand, lost both parents, and his parents did not have much, in fact they were dependent on their children in their latter years, so needless to say no inheritence accept a modest "shack" of a house that my husband's sisters live in, and we are not laying claim over it because we are doing well financially, and his sisters need the house more than we do.

Despite all the explaning, I picked that we are equal due to our relationship, and whether we are together or in the event we ever divorce, it'll still be equal because we live in California, and it's 50/50!

 

[m-2-b]

We like to think of ourselves as equals in terms of wealth.

 

[manderz]

We are equal. We got together very young, and making nearly no money. Now, we still don't make much money, but we are working hard towards building the life we want together. We're both going to school, and working our butts off. We haven't merged finances, but still consider everything ours.

 

[packrat]

I had more money coming into the marriage, but we viewed everything as even stevens then and we still do.

 

[yssie]

DH makes more and comes from a wealthier background.
Of course, it's all "ours" now

 

[cygnet]

BF makes way more than I do (and probably ever will), but we consider our finances to be as one.

 

[marcy]

DH earns about 2.5 times what I earn. Neither of us have any family or saved wealth. I lost a part time job 2 years that brought in about 1/2 of my full time job salary but it was spending money so it didn't significantly alter our life, just meant less toy or jewelry money. We put our money in the same account so it is basically our money.

 

[CharmyPoo]

I wonder what dynamics it causes when the woman makes more than a man in a relationship. Don't kill me on this one as it is a major sterotype but I have noticed that men are natural "money" caretakers and generally have no issues with being the only / majority money maker. On the other hand, women sometimes feel things are unfair when they are the primary money maker.

I have also noticed examples where the men is the stay at home dad and the strain it causes on the relationships. Whereas, if the women is the stay at home mom ... there are usually no issues. We have come a long way but I think we aren't all the way there yet.

Anyways ... just my two cents. I fall in a camp of making significantly more and also grew up in a family where my mom made more. My husband already said it makes more sense that he becomes the stay at home dad but I don't want that. I find that it diminishes their self confidence in the examples I have seen.

 

[missy]

I wonder what dynamics it causes when the woman makes more than a man in a relationship. Don't kill me on this one as it is a major sterotype but I have noticed that men are natural "money" caretakers and generally have no issues with being the only / majority money maker. On the other hand, women sometimes feel things are unfair when they are the primary money maker.

I have also noticed examples where the men is the stay at home dad and the strain it causes on the relationships. Whereas, if the women is the stay at home mom ... there are usually no issues. We have come a long way but I think we aren't all the way there yet.

Anyways ... just my two cents. I fall in a camp of making significantly more and also grew up in a family where my mom made more. My husband already said it makes more sense that he becomes the stay at home dad but I don't want that. I find that it diminishes their self confidence in the examples I have seen.

I have to agree with you-in the most general terms at least. The men I know (and my dh is included in this generalization) get some (if not a lot) of self worth from their career. I'm not saying this is a good thing but just stating what I have observed.

Unfortunately, these days, I notice more women at this point as well. OTOH, if something happened to my job I would be sad because I would miss a lot about it but I wouldn't feel that I was worth any less as a person or feel any less confident because of it.

We went through a short period where I was very concerned about my dh because there was a major career change and much was up in the air as to what he would be doing job wise. I remember telling him that I didn't care anything about the money but was very concerned about his mental/emotional well being. And he said he was fine. But I had a nagging feeling that if he didn't get something where he felt he was making a difference and pursuing a passion that his emotional well being would suffer. Fortunately we never had to find out but I stand by my belief that he gets some at least of his self worth and self confidence from his career. Whereas I believe I do not.

Just to make it clear that it has little to do with money in our situation. My dh always said it doesn't matter who earns more in a relationship and I do believe him on this. He is very modern and current in his thinking. Very progressive compared to many men I know. So when I say that I believe he gets some of his self worth from his career I don't mean financial but more the fact that he is doing something he has a passion for and believes in and feels he is making a difference.

 

[Ally T]

Missy, my husband is a lot like yours - he is very passionate about his job & on the two occasions in our marriage where his future has been uncertain at work, his emotions were really low & I was concerned. He is in a vulnerable industry, so last year he branched out alone (at much risk & until April arrives, we will have been without income for 6 months) but things are working out really well & that makes him super busy but very mentally content.

When we married I had a well paid job, but he still earned considerably more. I am now a SAHM & have been since our 1st daughter came along 4 years ago. Thankfully my husband is a planner & a wise investor, so although we've had to make changes, we are still living a comfortable life with nice holidays. I do intend to go back to work when the girls are both in school, which will be 2 years from now, but obviously I won't be as dedicated to a major career - I will work part time around school hours & would be happy to do voluntary work for charity.

 

[missy]

Alex, I'm so glad things worked (and are continuing to work) out for you guys. I understand how living with uncertainty feels and it is not fun. My dh is also in a career where there truly is no stability these days (as am I due to all the government budget cuts to health care) and being the worrier that I am I never feel 100% safe. Luckily my dh is not a worrier so he is my rock and we balance each other. But I still worry about the financial future...