http://www.pricescope.com/forum/ladies-in-waiting/blueroses-t42726-240.html
Nutshell is that after months of drama, couples' counseling, separations, work on ourselves and on our relationship, my boyfriend of ten years (next week) and I finally ended our relationship about 5 1/2 weeks ago. I finally said don't call me, don't text message me, my bottom line is clear, I can not move forward with us any longer unless there is a commitment to marriage, this is not an ultimatum, it's just what I need for my life and it isn't happening and I HAVE to move on now. It was terrifying and sad, but it was what it was. Masochists can feel free to check out the old thread for the long version
So he got in touch with me on Friday. Series of communications, we met up, and here's where the story continues from where the other thread left off:
I perch on the chair, not getting comfortable, and he sits on the couch and starts to talk—these last couple years, in particular the last many months in counseling together and these last 5 weeks of being totally apart he’s been really introspective and doing a lot of work on himself, he couldn’t begin to fathom the pain that his fear and indecision had put me through, his life has been just stuck and empty without me, without us, he loves me, yes he’s scared, but he could be scared till he’s 40, 50, 80 and then he’s just scaring his life away, he’s I don’t know-ing his life away and it’s just time to f-ing LIVE his life, to live our lives, and we’re too good together, this is what’s right (this is all a blur and I am completely paraphrasing.) What I do remember is that he started, then says, “I MUST be sick, my heart is POUNDING!!” and then we hear a thump which means “Mattie down” so we have to go to the other room and check on him and get him upright again. He said that he had a whole speech worked out and chastised himself for not being very eloquent and not expressing himself well and I said no, he was expressing himself just fine. I mean, all signs pointed to where this was going but I couldn’t let myself even think that this was happening until it happened after all we’ve been through, so what I remember is looking at this TINY spider on the floor near his foot while he talked. At one point he asked if I had anything to say and I said, uh, no, you called me over here! So he went into his bedroom (about the time he said he wasn’t expressing himself well) and then asked me to close my eyes. So I did and he asked me to hold out my hand. I opened my eyes and he had handed me this gift bag that had a wiener dog on it and said “hot diggity dog” (very us.) Inside was a long gift-wrapped box. He asked me to stand up, and he was on his knees. I take the box out and as soon as I saw what it was started getting so shaky—the wrapping on it was the Atlanta MARTA map. (We met sitting next to each other on MARTA after closing ceremonies in 1996.) SO I open it up, and it’s a Tiffany box. A long one—and I have to admit that about 1% of me was like JESUS, if this is another %^&$ silver tiffany necklace….So I open up the box and then I’m like Miss America with the shakiness and crying. It’s two sharpie pens. One with his initials, one with mine, and underneath them a paper napkin ring that he’d tried to put on my finger back in 9/04 as a placeholder ring but I wouldn’t take it b/c he wouldn’t ask. (Back in the day in my frustration I’d said I don’t need a ring, I’ll take tinfoil, a breadtie, draw a damn line on my finger with a SHARPIE PEN!!!!) So that’s what I got. 2 engagement sharpies in the blue box, wrapped up in a Marta map. Anyway, I open the box and he (through the blurry haze) said something like, “Let’s have a great life. Marry me.” And I said Yes. And at that exact moment, NO LIE, Mattie walked right between where he knelt and I stood and Fell down splat, sprawled right on the floor between us and FI(!!!!!!) said, AW, he wanted to be a part of it!! And he said marry me again and I said yes and then I said “Are you serious” and “Are you sure” about 5 or 6 times. And we each drew a ring on each other’s ring finger with the sharpie with our own initials. I’ll have pictures of our “rings” soon. I drew a band on him and he drew the most wacked out quasi-trillion solitaire (with sparkles coming off it!!) Love it!!!
CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I called my parents—who have loved and been super close to him but with these separations hadn’t seen him in over 7 months—and cautiously told them I had a familiar face to bring over who wanted to say something to them and of course they knew what was up. (Oh, Fi had a bottle of Dom in the fridge that he said he’d been prepared to drink alone if I’d said no) And truthfully, my saying yes was not a foregone conclusion. Driving to meet him I knew that this was a possibility and was really thinking about. But after the 5 weeks totally apart and the time that preceded it I felt like it would need to be some pretty serious words spoken, a big gesture. I didn’t know what I would say IF it happened….but it did, and I did.
Anyway, we went to my parents’, the boy gave them a modified version of the speech and finished it with asking them for my hand in marriage (AAAAWWW!!!) and my dad said that if that was what I wanted then that was what they wanted and my mom concurred and then it was hugs and tears and handshakes and champagne all around and (unfortunately for our heads) two bottles of champagne and phone calls to his parents (who were groggy on the east coast) and my sister, a few relatives…..my older nephew said “Gratulations!!” and agreed that he could get used to saying “Uncle.”
It is so nice to go from breaking the news about “well we’re no longer together” to “Well, we got ENGAGED” in like, lightening speed. I never thought that I would get proposed to out of the relationship ending, but given EVERYTHING I don’t know that it would have happened any other way. It turns out that he had his whole sharpie/map/gift package all wrapped up and ready to go for a month just sitting on his dresser and has been getting ready and embracing his fear (wrestling his inner peter pan!)
So that is that!
BLUEROSES IS ENGAGED!!!!!!!
SATAN, PUT ON A SWEATER!!!!!
WILBUR, GET DOWN FROM THERE, YOU DON’T HAVE WINGS!!!!!!
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