anyone live in or near washington dc?

[glaucomflecken]

hi everyone!
life is pretty topsy turvy right now! FI and I currently live in Ohio and FI has accepted a job in DC. He starts in two weeks, but for many reasons I am remaining here in Ohio until after our wedding in October (put so much money into wedding, i need time to be licensed in that area, etc). We would probably end up living in northern virginia.

I am SO depressed about this! I know (as his colleagues in his field have told me) he could have found a similar paying job in Ohio (which is 20% cheaper cost of living) if he would have just looked harder but he saw the lifestyle his friend who lives there (who btw this friend makes 3x what he will

) , he was all excited, but there is no comparison. I was ok with it at first, because I wanted to support his career as he has mine, but the more i learn, the unhappier I get. People have also been saying how utterly expensive it is there, you wont be able to afford a home there, etc. It seems like we will both be taking a step backward financially from where we are now because of the difference in cost of living. Granted I am sure there will be more to do there than here (im a big city girl at heart), but Im a midwesterner at heart and dont mind it here.

And even more important, we will be even further away from our families. The older I get, the closer I want to be with friends and family. I dreamed for us to get married, buy our first little home and start a family that we could raise in a nice little area,etc. But it looks like my dreams will not come true, at least for the minimum 5 years we will be there. I've been so sad and distressed that today I was at the docs being tested for stomach ulcers. Its terrible, but I am dreading this move (and the 6 months we will be apart) and horrible thoughts of calling off my wedding have been going through my head, because although I love him dearly, I am feeling really resentful right now. and thats selfish, i know.

So if any of you live in this area and could shed some light on what life is like there and help reassure me that things will be ok, I could use some moral support!

thanks!!!
sarah

 

[diamondlil]

Oh, Sarah, I''m sorry you are depressed. I live in the DC area. Actually we live in Southern Maryland, but the majority of people who live in the area where I am, all commute to DC and Virginia for work. I have never lived in Ohio, so I can''t compare the cost of living, but I will say that there are places to live outside of DC and Northern Virginia that can be more affordable while still close enough to commute for work. You just have to know where to look. Where is your FI going to be living until you join him?

DiamondLil

 

[tanuki]

Although I haven''t lived there myself, my husband''s family does and a good friend from high school lives there and every time I visit it seems to have a lot to do. My friend has a condo in the city and doesn''t even own a car. She loves it.

My in laws all live in Columbia, MD which is a planned community and has a lot of parks and good schools with good proximity to DC for commuters and to get to the huge number of things that are going on in the area every weekend.

One of the nice things about living in the DC area is that a lot of the museums and things that you would have to pay admittance for (like the zoo which is $20 here in Atlanta for the day) are federal so you can just go for free.

Once you get used to the commuting DC is really not bad (if you are planning to buy a home in the suburbs) although things may seem pricey for what you get the good news is that housing values rarely get in a slump (because every election cycle brings sellers and buyers into the market). Which is why the houses cost so much in the first place.

There are four seasons but the winters aren''t extreme (compared to the midwest)

Personally I wouldn''t mind being transferred there if I didn''t have to worry about family obligations. Sometimes I think about retiring to the Chesapeake bay area.

 

[AGBF]

After living in Connecticut (which is part of New England) all my life, I moved to northern Virginia at the end of last summer. My husband and our daughter are here, but all the rest of my family is in Connecticut. I miss them a lot, and also the Connecticut weather. Summers here are way too long and way too hot for me. (Even the cooler Connecticut summers were way too long and way too hot for me!)

On the other hand, Washington (called "the District" by people here) is lovely. I hadn't been there in a number of years until we moved to this area. I drove some friends in to see the cherry blossoms this month...awesome! There are many symphonies that play in the area and many concerts.

Washington is a young person's city, with lots of students. The schools here (in Fairfax County) are really quite decent. One can buy gourmet foods and health foods and go to a restaurant that serves food for any ethnic group. There is a jewelry store for every line of jewelry in the area, too. I suspect you will come to like it here very much. My daughter does .

PS-Although housing may be more expensive here than in Ohio, it is also appreciating very quickly. This area, unlike most of the country, is actually *GROWING*. Loudoun County, next door to me, is the fastest growing suburb outside of the Sun Belt. (It must be true; I keep reading it!) Although prices *are* rising, if you get a home in the suburbs (either Virginia or Maryland), you will do fine. Only the wealthiest and poorest people live in the District itself!

Deb

 

[Regular Guy]

Hey, Sarah,

My story shares elements from you and others here...I''m from Chicago originally, met my wife in Connecticut, we then actually married in Atlantic Canada (a longer story, with her compromising to be with me), and when my livelihood went south, I took a job in DC, to compromise geographically to be near my wife''s family here. We''ve been here since 90, in Montgomery County, near where her parents live.

DC is fine, but it''s no Chicago (I''m like my Dad, thinking that). I''m not sure what to say...if you''ll be a two income family...as many are here (we are), you''ll probably be fine. Alternately, I''m a bit concerned about the fundamentals in your communication. As a pretty smart guy I knew once said, life is a lot about just handling where the toothpaste cap goes. These details will count, one way or the other.

In my relationship with my wife, frankly, none of those ground rules I''m pointing to here were worked out at all, at the beginning...so apart from suggesting, if you haven''t already, that you give voice to all that it is you''re thinking, I don''t have much of a specific suggestion to share. Except, of course, to wish you well in your endeavors.

Also, though not skilled at it, I''m a big fan of planning. I hope you''ll be doing that as much as you can, to get whatever it is you and your fiance want.

Best wishes,

 

[Blue824]

I certainly understand the stress of a big move and the long distance relationship. October is only a few months away, and with all the wedding planning you''ll be doing, I''m sure the time will pass quickly!

Now, I''ve found that Washington, D.C. is hit or miss. People either love it or hate it. I was a student there from 00-04, but moved as soon as I was done. It was not the city for me, but I''ll just say that I am an extremely picky person and I knew I wasn''t going to like it with in the first 6 months. I would''ve transferred but my boyfriend and friends did make it bearable. I''m not saying that to worry you, so please don''t, I''ll just focus on the positives! My BF is actually still out there, so I visit quite often.

I did get to know the city very well. I almost always felt safe, even walking on the streets near my place late at night alone. Just like any other city, you have to be aware that some areas are significantly safer than others. There are tons of museums, events, performances to take advantage of. Being in the city around the elections and other major political events can be very exciting! I loved how easy it was to escape from DC, whether it was a spur of the moment train ride to NYC or driving out to a beach for the weekend. The cherry blossoms are so beautiful, really my favorite time of year there! DC also has relatively mild winters, so that is nice. (Although, they''re so used to the mild weather that they freak out when it snows!). The summers are SUPER muggy. There are some really great places to go out at night, fun bars, clubs, unique restaurants. I actually liked Arlington, Alexandria and Bethesda better than the district. There are certain opportunities that you may stumble upon in DC that are not available anywhere else.

Anyway, if you have any specific questions you want answered, I''d be happy to help! I know how intimidating a big move can be, and also how hard the long distance relationship can get. I with you two lots of luck!! and hope your fiance enjoys his new job!!! I do hope that you enjoy the city when you move! It is definitely different from any other place I''ve lived. Be open with your fiance, so he can help make your transition go more smoothly, and make sure he understands how important it is for you to return to Ohio. The open communication is a MUST in a stressful time such as this. Hopefully you can visit your fiance out there a lot to get a taste of what it is like, and once you move, just remember that it is only a quick plane ride to the rest of your family in OH

In the meantime, good luck planning your wedding!

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Hi!

Sorry to hear that you''re depressed and upset over moving to DC. Moving anywhere new is a big change, plus to top it off with such other huge life changes like a new job and a wedding...no wonder you''re stressed!

My husband and I live in northern VA, in Arlington. I''ve also lived in Dupont Circle in DC, and he''s lived out in Fairfax Co too. My husband is a Midwestern boy for sure- he''s from a tiny town near the Ozarks in SW Missouri. I myself went to college in Indiana, so I know parts of the Midwest too. Personally, I LOVE this area, but to be honest, Scott thinks it can be a little unfriendly compared to back home for him. I like that there''s a ton of diversity (I grew up all around the world) and being a minority, I can fit in easily here and no one looks at me sideways.

It''s true that it''s pretty expensive to live here, but people find ways. Like other people have said, there are tons of interesting and cool things to do here, and most of them are free! DC isn''t too far of a drive from either the mountains or the beach. I''m sure people from NYC will scoff, but we do have some really nice restaurants here, and a lot of choices too. Because there are numerous colleges here, there are also a lot of young people and young professionals (we''re youngish- 29 and 31). I work right across from the Capitol, and at times, it just strikes me as so cool that I live here, esp. when I drive by and see the monuments lit up at night and all that.

The summers are gross and very humid, and the winters can be cold, but nothing like a midwestern winter. It snows maybe a few times a year, but nothing major (if there''s a forecast of flurries, people freak out). In general, I feel pretty safe here. There are unsafe pockets, but that''s like in any city or town.

Hope this helps. If you need to talk more or maybe email my husband, PM me.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Oh yeah, one more thing: today on the Washington Post''s website (www.washingtonpost.com) they have an article- The Guide: The Washington Region at Your Fingertips. And there''s a live online chat at 1pm to ask any questions about the DC metro area. You might try catching that if you can (if you can''t, they archive the chats so you should be able to read them later).

 

[petunia princess]

I have lived in DC (well actually, Northern Virginia) all my life and I think there are so many wonderful opportunities here. Northern Virginia is one of the hottest employment markets in the US and you always have the government to fall back on...(with all the baby-boomers retiring soon there is a lot to offer). Since I have lived here all my life, I am accustomed to the cost of living...but I graduated from college 2 years ago and realize how hard it is starting out. But the good thing about a high cost of living is that the salaries are often higher.

Another nice thing about this area is that you have DC, Maryland, and Virginia at your fingertips. You''ve go the country, mountains, ocean, and city all right in the metropolitan area. I am sure you will find that there are many resources (even free ones too).

As far as the price of homes, they are certainly on the way up. But if you are interested in buying a condo or apartment, there are plenty of options in the Northern Virginia area. We live in Kingstowne, which is a rather new community, so we are close to the Beltway, Old Town Alexandria and DC. There are also a lot of older but recently renovated areas in Northern Virginia that you may want to consider.

Good Luck with the move. I am sure that you will find Virginia/DC have a lot to offer and will hopefully become home!

 

[njc]

I have lived in Virginia all my life. I grew up about an hour south of DC in Fredericksburg, which in my 25 years has gone from a sleepy little town to a DC commuter hot bed. Stafford and Spotsylvania Counties (which surround Fburg -- Va is weird, we have cities independant of counties) *i believe* are right behind Loudon County in growth and all are among the top in the nation.

After college (in Southwestern Va -- talk about a polar opposite from Northern Va), i returned to Fredericksburg and worked for almost 2 years. The cost of living was the same as further north towards DC, but i couldnt find a job that would pay to cover the costs. So I got a job in Alexandria and instantly doubled my salary and got to move in with FI! Granted i had wanted an apartment on my own, but costs are crazy and i didnt see the point in the wasted money (one of us would always be at the others). Ive been up here a year.

We've just bit the bullet and bought a townhouse. The DC area does have one of the craziest real estate markets, but as someone mentioned above, there is a never ending demand for housing and the prices keep going up. In the month between signing our contract and closing we earned $25,000 in equity. $25K for doing nothing but moving in!!! The mortgage is a b*t$# though... $400K, but thats cheap!

My parents have lived their entire lives in Fredericksburg and upon seeing where our townhouse is, both commented that they never thought something so nice and new could exist in the area. We used to live right off of I-395 (a main artery into DC) 5 minutes into the city with buildings on top of one another. Now i feel like im out in the middle of the country, but its only 7 miles further south!

So there is certainly something for everyone in the area. It is more expensive, but there is a ton to do and a variety of places to live. Most everyone is friendly and helpful, there are a variety of ages everywhere and so many cool cultural experiences. I never knew you had to pay for a museum until FI and I went to the art museum in Philly! I was floored!

Jumping on the Washington Post live chat might be helpful. Also PM me if you have any other questions! I could help you figure out a real estate in Va since im so fresh out of the market.

**Petunia - We are in Kingstowne too! We will have been there a week Saturday!

 

[jlc0604]

I''ve lived in this area all my life too. I agree with most of what everyone else has said. Like anyplace, there are good things and bad things about the area.

Bad things:
- Traffic is ridiculous

- People can be unfriendly (but that''s true of other places too, like NYC - I think it''s more a product of a fast paced lifestyle and people that work too hard)

- Cost of living is high

- Housing market is very competitive - the more affordable places go fast, and many people lose 8 or 9 bids before finally getting a home

- People here are incredibly focused on career -''what do you do?'' will likely be the first question you''re asked when meeting someone new

- Style - DC people have a reputation for lacking style. It''s true to an extent, you certainly don''t see the same kind of style that you do in NYC or other cities. If you''re really into fashion it can be hard to find cute boutiques that aren''t just your basic stores, but a few do exist if you look. This can be seen as a positive or negative - if you''re not all that into fashion, at least you don''t always feel completely out of style because not everyone around you is dripping in the latest. If you are into it, it may be hard to get your shopping fix, but at least you''ll always be on top of the style game. People here are mocked for their conservative fashion, which is true - you''ll see a lot of black and dark colors on the streets.


Good things:
- Diversity - there are people of all ethnicities and backgrounds here, which makes life more interesting

- Education - people here are smart and aware of what''s going on in the world, so conversations are more interesting and less shallow

- Job Market - the job market is strong here and won''t be going anywhere, thanks to the government

- Things to do - like others have said, this area boasts plenty of things to do. The beach is 2 hours, the moutains are an hour, Philadelphia is 2 hours, NYC is 4 hours, we have three airports nearby, museums are free, you''ll find pretty much anything you''re looking for either here or nearby

- Weather - some people like that we have all four seasons. Although some have complained about the summers, it''s not any more hot and humid than NYC or other eastern cities. Winters are cold but not as bad as Boston or Chicago. It usually snows about 2 times a winter here (and yes, everyone does freak out because they''re not used to it; it''s kind of funny). I personally don''t consider the weather a plus, because I hate the cold and would happily live in LA or Miami for their weather. But for people who like to see leaves in the fall, snow in the winter, and heat in the summer, it''s good.

- Housing - the good thing about housing is that, while it''s incredibly competitive and properties are outrageously expensive, that will work to your advantage when it''s time to sell. Most people here are finding a way to buy what they can afford, and with low interest rates and no-money down offers, it''s not as impossible as it might seem at first. If you plan on staying for 5 years, you can make a great profit on whatever you buy. Most here predict that the housing market isn''t going to collapse anytime soon, due to the job market which will remain steady. If you do decide to move back to Ohio where the cost of living is lower, you''ll be way ahead of the game because you''ll make a profit selling your home here, and then you''ll be able to buy an affordable home back there. This isn''t the case for those of us that stay - we make a profit but must invest it back into a more expensive, upgraded home. So you can make it work to your financial advantage.

- Politics - People here are very into politics, for obvious reasons. It always surprises me to travel and realize how little the average person in other areas knows about what''s going on in the political world. There are plenty of marches and rallies, which can be fun if that''s your thing. If not, it still makes things interesting.

 

[fire&ice]

I understand your frustration. All those plans and dreams turned topsy turvey. But, since you are young, think of it as more of a *new* adventure *together*. Live in the District - rent & take in the city - it's a great city. Safe, pretty - w/ a park every few miles. The museums are amazing & there is something going on all the time - and usually for FREE!

This may not be the path you thought you were going. But, it's the hand that's dealt - make a Royal Flush out of it!

BTW, 1 month after we were married hubby transfered 3 hours away to a larger city that neither of us had family (granted you are farther). The time apart passed sooo quickly. I learned to be more independent, handle decisions on my own & learned to appreciate hubby more. We were only supposed to be in this "new city" for about 1-2 years. That was in 1984. We are still here & still loving it. We created something our own. It was the best decision (made by accident) that we made.

Edited to add: Old Towne Alexandria is a great place to live also.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Oh yeah, one more thing about the summers- they are indeed hot and humid, but like jlc said, probably no more than any other Eastern city. It''s just that here, people do a lot of walking, so obviously it feels gross to be out and about. I used to live in FL, and while it was probably hotter and more humid, no one walked- we all drove- so the weather didn''t seem as insufferable.

 

[njc]

Here is a link to the "Guide -- The Washington Metro Area at your Fingertips" that was published by the Washington Post and part of the online chat mentioned earlier. Might help you some to look through it!

 

[onedrop]

Another Marylander here!! Other posters have covered the pros and cons of the DC/MD/VA area very well. One other thing to note: MD and VA both have a lot of diversity geographically. Depending upon where you live, if you drive an hour or two you could be anywhere from a beach locale, to the mountains, to a more urban area.

I have lived in other places, but I find that I can''t beat life here, even with the traffic and the sometimes unbearable summers!

 

[Momoftwo]

I''ve lived in the DC area for 37 of my 45 years. I was born in TX where all my family except my siblings and parents still are today. I grew up in PG county, MD but would never move back there. Lived in VA Beach, VA for 3 years and then moved to Columbia, MD for 10 years and loved it, but then moved to Northern VA (Loudoun county) for my DH''s commute to his VA job and have been here for 10 years. We moved into our dream home just over a year ago and house prices have exploded here as they have in other areas. Income is higher here so house prices are too. I love the fact we can go downtown in 45 minutes, be at the beach in 3 hours (OC, MD), get to Skyline Drive (mountains) in an hour and don''t have to go more than 10 miles to shop, eat, go to movies, etc. I''ve been in every museum several times, in the White House years ago, up the Wash monument, to Mount Vernon, the Kennedy Center, the list goes on. Traffic is sometimes bad here, but it''s just as bad in the tidewater area of VA, New York, Boston, Dallas, Atlanta, etc. It''s population and commutes.

I married a Naval officer and never knew where we''d end up living, but it was about being with him, not where we lived. That was 24 years ago and it''s still about us being together. There are no guarantees of anything in life, enjoy being with the man you love.

 

[glaucomflecken]

you are all the best!!! THANK YOU so much for all the information, pros and cons. i knew i could count on you!

Sarah

 

[AGBF]

Date: 4/22/2005 3

4:53 PM
Author: Momoftwo
I...moved to Northern VA (Loudoun county) for my DH''s commute to his VA job and have been here for 10 years.

We probably shop in the same stores! Loudoun County is adding several more schools for the 2005-2006 school year. The growth is phenomenal!

Deborah

 

[sevens one]

Date: 4/22/2005 3

4:53 PM
Author: Momoftwo



I married a Naval officer and never knew where we''d end up living, but it was about being with him, not where we lived. That was 24 years ago and it''s still about us being together. There are no guarantees of anything in life, enjoy being with the man you love.

Nicely put mo2.

 

[Van Graff]

" i need time to be licensed in that area,"

Hi Sara,

Wow!

So if you are a doctor you need to be licensed in every state you want to work?

Not all the humans have the organs in the same place regarding their residence place?

You have the knowledge in your brain or when you cross the state limits your brain is errased?

 

[glaucomflecken]

Date: 4/25/2005 9

9:12 AM
Author: sevens one

Date: 4/22/2005 3

4:53 PM
Author: Momoftwo



I married a Naval officer and never knew where we''d end up living, but it was about being with him, not where we lived. That was 24 years ago and it''s still about us being together. There are no guarantees of anything in life, enjoy being with the man you love.

Nicely put mo2.

That really helped me put things in perspective. Thank you!

 

[glaucomflecken]

Date: 4/25/2005 9:58:38 AM
Author: Van Graff
'' i need time to be licensed in that area,''

Hi Sara,

Wow!

So if you are a doctor you need to be licensed in every state you want to work?

Not all the humans have the organs in the same place regarding their residence place?

You have the knowledge in your brain or when you cross the state limits your brain is errased?

Hi Juan!
I''m an optometrist, and each state has different laws on the highest limits on the scope of our practice (i.e. what minor surgical procedures we can do, which medications we can prescribe, etc), since our profession has advanced significantly over the years from only prescribing glasses and contacts to also including medical optometry. Each state also differs on the amount of hours of continuing education needed as well. Most states overall are about the same though.

I tell you though, sometimes by the end of the work DAY I feel like my brain has been erased!

Its a tougher field than people would guess but its very rewarding and challenging!