Anyone had a Jewish/Christian wedding??

[AllieGator]

Hey, everyone! I''m fairly new here, I found this site while helping my brother looking for his engagement ring and have been hanging out on Ladies in Waiting for a few days. This site is great, and you guys seem so helpful, so I was wondering if you could help me out!

My future fiance is Jewish (not really practicing), and I''m an Episcopal. I was wondering if anyone had wedding that was Jewish AND Christian. Were you able to keep the essentials of both, or did you do a civil ceremony with blessings, etc? I''d love to hear whatever you did, or any suggestions! Thanks!

 

[neatfreak]

Many people have had weddings like this. I think the ultimate answer is that you need to do what works for you guys. Everyone does theirs a bit differently incorporating different amounts/traditions from each faith. And then some people have two ceremonies, one for each religion! There's no right or wrong way.

The one thing to make sure of is that you need to find an officiant who is comfortable with incorporating both religions into the ceremony.

 

[buttercup80]

My parents had a ceremony like that - they had a Rabbi AND a priest - the key is to find officiants who will work with you to make your ceremony what you want.

 

[CNOS128]

Friends of ours has a Jewish & Christian wedding. They had a minister and a cantor perform the ceremony, but there weren''t a lot of religious elements or references specifically to one religion.

The harder part for them will be deciding how to raise their children!

 

[elle_chris]

My husband is Catholic, i''m half Jewish/Russian Orthodox. We got married in Vegas. (not really so much for religious reasons). Neither one of us is practicing. At a friend''s wedding, there was both a Minister and a Rabbi.

 

[robbie3982]

I''m Jewish and DH is Catholic. He goes to church on Christmas and Easter and I don''t really go to synagogue ever. We were married by a judge, but we wrote our own ceremony. We had a huppah, the breaking of the glass, a unity candle and we both entered accompanied by both parents. Our reading was "Blessing of the Hands." I still have our ceremony writeup if you''d like to see it.

 

[Haven]

I''ve had several friends have mixed ceremonies. I think the most difficult part for them has been finding officiants who are willing to perform the ceremony, so perhaps you should start looking around now.

 

[sba771]

My FI''s brother had an interfaith wedding and I know his (now) wife basically found a service online that had rabbis and priests who worked together on it. If you are on the east coast I can ask her for their information. I will say one bit of advice/my opinion- if you do plan on including as Jewish prayers please offer your guests and FI kipput. My BIL''s did not have that and it felt a little wrong to me to be saying all the holy blessings and missing a big part within the Jewish tradition. Again that is just my opinion as someone who comes from a very Jewish background. If you do have any questions about the Jewish ceremony in general feel free to ask me. A lot of the traditions are kind of fun and there are some really nice meanings and reasoning behind them if you want to incorporate different aspects.

 

[Love in Bloom]

Date: 12/7/2008 11:06:37 AM
Author:AllieGator
Hey, everyone! I'm fairly new here, I found this site while helping my brother looking for his engagement ring and have been hanging out on Ladies in Waiting for a few days. This site is great, and you guys seem so helpful, so I was wondering if you could help me out!

My future fiance is Jewish (not really practicing), and I'm an Episcopal. I was wondering if anyone had wedding that was Jewish AND Christian. Were you able to keep the essentials of both, or did you do a civil ceremony with blessings, etc? I'd love to hear whatever you did, or any suggestions! Thanks!

Love the name, AllieGator!

My husband is Jewish and my family is Christian. We keep a kosher home and he observes all the holidays. In all honesty I'm not very religious, but I respect his heritage and we both wanted officiants of each faith to represent us at our wedding. We had a rabbi and a preacher. It was difficult actually finding a rabbi who was willing participate in a "dual-faith" ceremony. My husband's family did ask their rabbi if he would consider participating in our ceremony but he declined. It didn't bother me too much because they warned me he would probably decline. However, the family rabbi did put us in contact with one who was willing to help marry us, and I was relieved to find out I already knew him through some family friends. I think cantors are more likely to agree to dual-faith ceremonies. That was our plan B, but she needed to be flown in from Texas!

We had a ketubuh, which in tradition we signed before the ceremony and had the rabbi read from it afterwards. Both officiants signed our marriage certificate. I'm not sure if that's exactly legal, but we wanted them do it anyway.

So the preacher performed the first part of the ceremony and some personalized vows. The rabbi did the second part of the ceremony with traditional vows in both hebrew and english. I think the most important part of the ceremony to the rabbi was the blessing and exchanging of the rings. We had a kiddish and my husband stomped on a wine glass. We had our wedding and reception at an art museum which was perfect as it was non-denoninational. We had kosher food at the reception too.

Here are some pictures:

We did a tallis instead of a chuppa, but only because we were on the stairs

We also danced the horah. It was lots of fun!

 

[elle_chris]

Love in Bloom- beautiful wedding pics

Not to threadjack but one quick question, since you don''t really practice but your husband seems to, in what faith are you going to raise your children in?

 

[Love in Bloom]

Date: 12/9/2008 8:49:05 PM
Author: elle_chris
Love in Bloom- beautiful wedding pics

Not to threadjack but one quick question, since you don''t really practice but your husband seems to, in what faith are you going to raise your children in?

Thanks lady!

We do not plan to raise our children in any single faith per se, but we intend to uphold the traditions of both faiths with an empasis on what they mean to us.

In a technical sense, our kids could not be Jewish because I did not convert. For a short time I considered converting and asked if that was something my hubby felt was important. He didn''t feel it was necessary since he loves me the way I am and, like me, does not feel that being raised in one single faith is necessary. I''m sure our parents will be pleased to help reinforce the values of each religion, which are similar anyway, even if the mythology behind them is not. We look forward to that because we both feel it will be a great role for them as grandparents. Both hubby and I are are of the same faith, we just happen to have different religious backgrounds, if that makes any sense!

 

[Haven]

Date: 12/7/2008 6:17:46 PM
Author: sba771
My FI''s brother had an interfaith wedding and I know his (now) wife basically found a service online that had rabbis and priests who worked together on it. If you are on the east coast I can ask her for their information. I will say one bit of advice/my opinion- if you do plan on including as Jewish prayers please offer your guests and FI kipput. My BIL''s did not have that and it felt a little wrong to me to be saying all the holy blessings and missing a big part within the Jewish tradition. Again that is just my opinion as someone who comes from a very Jewish background. If you do have any questions about the Jewish ceremony in general feel free to ask me. A lot of the traditions are kind of fun and there are some really nice meanings and reasoning behind them if you want to incorporate different aspects.

Well, I''d think your Jewish guests (who care enough to wear kippot) would bring their own with them to the service. It''s nice to provide them, but I certainly don''t know any observant Jews who do not carry their kippot with them, especially to a wedding ceremony.

There are a lot of great Jewish traditions worth incorporating, Allie. There have been some great threads about this topic, and I know we have a lot of Jewish members on PS. If you have questions, do ask! I can always tap in to my father for info, too, he''s a cantor.

 

[crystalheart1]

Haven, I do not know if you mentioned it before , but I think the fact that your father is a Cantor is very nice.

My husband is Christian and I am Jewish. We had our Officiant make our Wedding Vows non religious, but my Husband broke the glass at the end of the ceremony

We both like what it stands for...
Commentary on Breaking of the Glass



The crushing of the glass is a custom that suggests many things. Some say it recalls the imperfection and brokenness of the world. Some say it symbolizes a new future and a clean break with the past. There is also an interpretation that this act symbolizes the fragility of marriage. A smashed glass cannot be reconstructed and so it is a symbol that marriage is a unique, irreplaceable and delicate relationship which must be treated with care. An ancient blessing wishes that the years of happiness for these two people shall be no less than the time it would take to fit all the fragments of the glass together again.

 

[Haven]

Thanks, crystalheart. I LOVE that sentiment about the broken glass, we had a very similar description in our wedding program.

 

[smiles]

I know I am a little late but I just wanted to agree with Haven - I think the most difficult part will be finding officiants that you are happy with and who are willing to co-operate and listen to what you want in your ceremony. I also want to ditto her in that if you have any questions please ask as there are many very nice traditions in the Jewish wedding (I may be a bit biased but still a lot of the meanings behind the way things are done are very lovely and meaningful).

Haven that''s awesome that your dad is a cantor - they truly have the most beautiful voices!!! My sister (a Rabbi-in-training) is marrying a cantor this coming summer and I can''t wait - It''s a very cool and somewhat difficult job!!

 

[CNOS128]

Now that I think about it...
when I got engaged my mom bought me a (non-fiction) book by Anita Diamant (of "The Red Tent" fame) called "The New Jewish Wedding." In it she goes through a lot of traditions and the reasons for them, and suggests that people choose elements that are meaningful to them to incorporate in their wedding ceremonies.
It''s kind of a total guide to planning a Jewish wedding...

There''s a chapter in the book for converts and non-Jews as well. Might be worth checking out - I found it very helpful.
Here''s a link to it on Amazon.