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Anyone go BACK to school working FT w/ baby?

sphenequeen

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Oct 16, 2009
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Hello!

I recently earned my Graduate Degree in Anthropology (no real prospects there) and would like to go back to get my teaching credential. Currently, I am 6 month pregnant and working full time - wondering if anyone went back to school under these circumstances (or anything like it). I would not go back until after the baby is born, but I feel like time is running out now that I am in my early 30's.

Any advice is welcomed!
 

Pandora II

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I started studying when my daughter was 7 months old. It was 2 evenings a week and I didn't work during the day.

It was about as much as I could cope with. I don't have any family near us and my daughter was not a sleeper or napper so I found it really tough getting enough time to study and revise for the exams. The second year was much easier as DD was going to bed at a reasonable time and staying asleep rather than waking up every hour like she did the year before, and so I got some guilt-free time to myself.

I can't imagine trying to juggle a baby, college and a full-time job. Under-estimating the impact a baby has on your life is a common thing. I thought I'd have my normal life plus a baby to put to bed, feed etc. and that was having a sister 14 years younger and lots of nephews and nieces so I should have known better.

The sheer exhaustion of the early months is incredible. Babies need feeding every 2-3 hours and it can take 40 minutes a feed easily. So you can easily feel you do nothing but feed them all the time, day and night.

I wouldn't make any decisions until the baby is here and you know what you are letting yourself in for.
 

canuk-gal

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HI:

No I went to Grad school when my son was 3 and worked casually. But many of my collagues did what you are proposing: PhD's, law school/bar exams, medical residencies. Do you have family near by to help?

cheers--Sharon
 

Tacori E-ring

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I think it depends on your job, what you are studying, your baby, and your support system. I have a friend who is finishing her Masters in ed. She teaches full time and goes to school online (which cuts down on commute). She started while pregnant with her daughter who has just turned a year. It works for her. Her DH is very involved. Both sets of grandparents help and she goes to an in-home daycare. I am sure it also helps my friend is an experienced teacher and gets home in the afternoon vs. going to school working 12 hrs a day or getting home at 7pm.

Personally I could not handle it. My program makes it nearly impossible to work full time b/c we have 20 hour a week internships. I do know a few people who are working, have kids, and going to school but most are not going to school full time. My program gives you 6 years to finish the degree. My advice would be to take one or two classes at a time until you can figure out a rhythm that works for you and your family.
 

anne_h

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Yes. I went back to school last year when our son was five and our twins were one. In addition to working full-time.

I work 40 hours per week and do another ~15 - 20 hours either in school or studying. It is a lot!!

My husband works full-time too. We have no family or support near us.

This little adventure has pushed us pretty much to the max. I second the others - it may be more doable if you have someone(s) nearby who can pitch in. In our case, it's been harder on DH than we thought. Initially he struggled to adapt to the family demands me being gone or away studying placed on him. And his stress caused me stress. lol

Anyways - yes it can be done. But defintely is a squeeze (for us anyways). I will be so glad when I graduate!! lol Like you, I'm in my early thirties and just wanted to get it over with! :)

Anne

PS - It's mostly men in my class, but there is a woman there who also has small kids - a son ~4 and she had a baby right before the program started! We're in Canada, so she's still on her 1-year mat leave (and has a nanny who comes in - we don't, just daycare), but still!! She's making it work too.
 

FrekeChild

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I couldn't do it. I'm going to work part time (20-30 hours per week), and have a 2 month old. I need to be working full time, but I just can't at this point. I'm able to work these hours solely due to the fact that my husband is a phd student, and has a variable schedule that he teaches at night (I work during the day). So I work Mon/Wed/Fri plus some time at home, and he teaches Tues/Wed/Thurs nights, and works on his dissertation/works as a research assistant all day Tues/Thurs/Sat.

At this point, with the exhaustion, the fact that she needs to be held a LOT, the fact that she eats every 2 hours and often takes 30 minutes or more to eat, not to even get into the normal household things that need to be done like cleaning, laundry, pets, etc....even with just the two of us working part time and with super flexible hours, there are just not enough hours in the day. I'm hoping I'll be able to start back to full time hours some time around 3-4 months, but I wouldn't be surprised if that wasn't possible once we get there.
 

diamondseeker2006

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I know people have different needs, but I would have missed my babies a LOT if I worked full time when they were infants. But working full time and going to school on top of that, you'd have very little time with your baby. They grow fast and you cannot recapture that time. It would be majorly exhausting, too, considering that you might not have the amount of sleep that you are used to on top of being gone so much.
 

sphenequeen

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Thank you all for your advice. The plan is to wait until I feel like I can possibly juggle this - I will not be making any decisions until after the baby is here for some time (a year?). I understand that I will need major time to adjust. My family is about 45 minutes away, but just not close enough to have them help out on this one. My husband is most likely going to be staying home with the baby and work part-time as I will be going back to work full time. I just wanted to see if anyone on here has done this and how they managed. I know what it is like to do the full time work thing and full time school thing - but throw a baby in the mix and it is a whole other ball game!
 

megumic

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Search for the Feminist Breeder and her stories she writes about her life. She has done it. Good luck!
 

fieryred33143

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Interested in the answers. I did my masters while working full time and traveling. The majority I was able to do online as the program was catered to working professionals. Classes were every other weekend with classes Friday evening from 5-9pm and Saturday/Sunday from 8am to 5pm. It was a huge sacrifice. I'm not sure how I can do that with a child but I have been wanting to return to school for some time now.
 

anne_h

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Yes, if this is your first baby, wait and see how you feel!! :)

Our girls were past one when I started. I might still have started if they had been a bit younger, but probably not if they were only a few months old.

BTW, grad school aside - baby sleep training was a major bonus for us with all our kids. Having everyone sleep well, including us (parents), made a major difference to our quality of life and my own sanity. If you are interested, look into it! :)

Anne
 

MissStepcut

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Please don't feel like you need to get your grad work out of the way by a certain age! Things are really changing, and grad school/professional school really isn't only for young people anymore. I know several law students in their 30s and 40s, and even more 30+ MBA students. I think the profile of entering classes in professional programs has definitely shifted older.
 

PinkTower

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A fellow anthropology major, and I agree-what was I thinking? I just went back and got my 2nd masters, with a teaching cert., and graduated in 2011. However, over 25 years elapsed between the two. You don't have to push yourself so hard. Do you know what it is like to be chronically sleep deprived? Take care of yourself and your little one for a while yet.
 

Bella_mezzo

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I work full-time in a fairly demanding job in NYC, am in the middle of a top-ranked MBA program, and in summer 2011 our son who just turned three joined our family through adoption.

I took 3 months + 2 weeks maternity leave (we got stuck in Ethiopia as his visa took a little longer than expected) and then jumped right back into work at 100% in early October. I took the fall semester off of school and just started back in January. It's tough but just manageable, mostly b/c my DH is just in school and is still able to be home with our son 2 days a week.

I can't wait to graduate, but will be taking things a little slower to make sure that I am home 4 nights a week and just at school one night a week. Rather than graduating at the end of the summer as I had originally planned, I will graduate in May 2013.

If DH worked full-time and/or if we had an infant, I think it would really stretch us to the max. For me, I would wait until the baby was done breast feeding and regularly sleeping through the night before I tried to start a new program in addition to working full-time. if I were already in a program when the baby was born, I would take a semester off and then go back very slowly.

Good luck!!!
 

movie zombie

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Pandora|1327261266|3108909 said:
......I can't imagine trying to juggle a baby, college and a full-time job. Under-estimating the impact a baby has on your life is a common thing.......I wouldn't make any decisions until the baby is here and you know what you are letting yourself in for.


first sentence is an understatement. each baby is so very different....

second sentence is very good advice. glad OP is going to delay decision until her baby is about one year.
 

movie zombie

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Pandora|1327261266|3108909 said:
......I can't imagine trying to juggle a baby, college and a full-time job. Under-estimating the impact a baby has on your life is a common thing.......I wouldn't make any decisions until the baby is here and you know what you are letting yourself in for.


first sentence is an understatement. each baby is so very different....

second sentence is very good advice. glad OP is going to delay decision until her baby is about one year.

eta: absolutely nothing wrong with dad staying at home to be the primary care provider. i've seen it work very well.
 

partgypsy

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My Mom did have 3 kids under the age of two while she was getting her master's (full time school, no other work). She ended up losing a bunch of weight because she had to choose between sleeping and eating, and sleeping won!

After 8 weeks leave I worked full time after having each of my babies. Really from the amount of sleep deprivation involved it doesn't sound like trying to do all 3 things at the same time is optimum, unless you are superhuman. Because you will be short on sleep and time you will not have enough concentration to do all 3 properly.
 

sphenequeen

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Pink Tower|1327278131|3109157 said:
A fellow anthropology major, and I agree-what was I thinking? I just went back and got my 2nd masters, with a teaching cert., and graduated in 2011. However, over 25 years elapsed between the two. You don't have to push yourself so hard. Do you know what it is like to be chronically sleep deprived? Take care of yourself and your little one for a while yet.


Thank you! :D
 

sphenequeen

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Definitely not a superhuman, but want to secure a nice future for my family.

I appreciate all of your input and will be revisiting this well after after baby comes. You know, being pregnant has made me have this sense of urgency to make sure all of my ducks are in a row, and this is a duck I have not gotten a hande on. I think the best advice has been to wait until I actually grasp the enormity of parenthood.
 

Echidna

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sphenequeen|1327440135|3110722 said:
Definitely not a superhuman, but want to secure a nice future for my family.

I appreciate all of your input and will be revisiting this well after after baby comes. You know, being pregnant has made me have this sense of urgency to make sure all of my ducks are in a row, and this is a duck I have not gotten a hande on. I think the best advice has been to wait until I actually grasp the enormity of parenthood.

We're TTC probably next year and I can anticipate feeling EXACTLY the same way. That's why I'm nuts and trying to do FT work and two different forms of PT study (equivalent to a FT load) this year :sick: This is unlikely to end well but I have to try! Just wanted to offer some sympathy.

Best wishes with your study at whatever point you get to it. Please let us know how it all goes. Finally, congrats on your pregnancy!
 

sphenequeen

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Echidna|1327443508|3110767 said:
sphenequeen|1327440135|3110722 said:
Definitely not a superhuman, but want to secure a nice future for my family.

I appreciate all of your input and will be revisiting this well after after baby comes. You know, being pregnant has made me have this sense of urgency to make sure all of my ducks are in a row, and this is a duck I have not gotten a hande on. I think the best advice has been to wait until I actually grasp the enormity of parenthood.

We're TTC probably next year and I can anticipate feeling EXACTLY the same way. That's why I'm nuts and trying to do FT work and two different forms of PT study (equivalent to a FT load) this year :sick: This is unlikely to end well but I have to try! Just wanted to offer some sympathy.

Best wishes with your study at whatever point you get to it. Please let us know how it all goes. Finally, congrats on your pregnancy!


thank you and BEST OF LUCK to you TTC.
 

butterfly 17

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I actually did this and I can say that while it is manageable it can be stressful, esp. if you are pregnant at the same time.
I was working full time with three children, my youngest was 21 months old, when I found out I was pregnant. I had two semesters left in school and did both summer school and the fall semester working full time and going to school part time, while in my first and second trimesters.

Unfortunately, my last semester, which should have been last as well, I had to go on bedrest. I could not work as per my OB and while she did allow me to go to school if I wanted to as long as I wasn't walking too far, I decided for the benefit of my baby's health, I would not risk it and did not go to school that semester.
I am a NICU nurse I have seen all the problems that our premature infants can have and I didn't want to risk it for my own child.
I am sad that I did 't finish with the rest of my class though, but I don't regret my decision at all.

I say that you know yourself best and if you think you can do it, then go for it.
 

kenny

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Don't do too much.
You'll burn out, and do everything poorly.

Incorporate some lazy time into your life.
Be balanced, not lopsided.
 
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