Annoyed...should I not be?

[Bia]

Small vent...

Today I got a wedding invitation in the mail from a friend (really a friend of my BF's who has become a friend of mine over the years) who is getting married next November. BF and I have known about this wedding since the summer, as they announced their engagement around that time.

Anyway, I got the invite when I came home today and was excited to see it--they aren't a traditional couple by any means and are always doing fun and outside-the-box types of things. Since they are getting married abroad (Italy) their invitations came in passenger ticket form--really very cute. Anyway, not to get off subject, seeing the tickets prompted me to ask BF what he thought about making an effort to go to this wedding. He has said before that he's not really that interested in going because a.) it will be an expensive trip after we factor in all the costs (flight, hotel, gift, spending money, etc.) and b.) they aren't that close anymore.

Now I usually stand by my BFs decisions when it comes to his friends (unless they are ludicrous) but since I'm telling you all, sort of privately

, I can say with certainty, that part of the reason he and his friend aren't that close anymore has a lot to do with him because she reaches out to him a lot more than he does her. She (let's call her "L") is a good person, but yes she has issues too (like everyone). A few people in my BFs circle seem to think that L is a mooch...someone who leans on you when she needs you but then doesn't lend a hand when others need it. I don't know her like that, but I have heard about a few different situations...all of which have nothing to do with my BF. He tells me that the only reason he is still friends with L is because their families are good friends and its just the way it is. So since their families are friends, my BF's immediate family is going to the wedding. Now, I'll be honest, I want to go. I think it will be a great opportunity to celebrate with L and her FI, but I also think it would be fun to go to Europe and have fun with BF and his family! To me, this seems like a perfect opportunity to go to Europe. My BF isn't that into travel. He doesn't love to fly and I think that makes it difficult for us to plan trips--he'll fly, but he doesn't enjoy it one bit (truthfully I don't either, but I do it because I love to visit new places).

So, I told him that we should try and go...and I did say "We hardly ever go anywhere!" He got defensive and said that he never wanted to go and with the economy the way it is, he feels its a lavish expense for something that doesn't mean that much to him. He also said, "You always act like everything costs nothing!"

Basically insinuating that I just want to go to Europe and money is of no concern to me...I don't think I am like that at all!

Do you think I should leave it alone and accept that we aren't going (in other words, that he is right) OR do I have a valid point?

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

Well, are you planning on splitting the costs to go to Italy and for all the expenses youve mentioned or is your bf going to be taking care of it? If thats the case, he does have a point. Destination weddings are a lot to ask of friends and family - I would assume only close friends and family would be expected to go in most cases. If your bf feels like L is a mooch, like his friends do, I''m sure hes not keen on the idea of spending money on the ticket, hotel, gift, attire, and spending cash for L''s wedding if shes not the type of friend he considers close. Maybe, instead, you two can talk about planning a vacation to europe on your own terms as a compromise? Bf doesnt have to feel like hes giving L the satisfaction of going for her wedding and you get to travel like you mentioned.

 

[Bia]

No, no. I don''t expect him to pay for the whole trip. I told him we could put money away together, since we have almost a year. But I think it''s less about the money (he has the money, and I would definitely put some money away for it). The thing that got me was, he has been talking about going to Montreal this summer for a week and from what he''s telling me, its not going to be cheap. He wants to take the train and stay at a really nice hotel, rent a car...the works. The difference there is, we don''t have to fly and it would just be the two of us.

I really think he just doesn''t want to go to the wedding. Actually, I know it is because he flat out said, I don''t want to go. LOL. Its almost like he resents her and is annoyed that she''s even having the wedding in Europe and not NY.

 

[neatfreak]

How about a compromise-take a trip together to Europe that isn''t for the wedding? That way you get your trip and he doesn''t feel weird (for whatever reason) about going to the wedding?

 

[allycat0303]

Bia,

Well you have to come to Montreal (and Quebec...because it''s got such a European feel to it.) Ok, that was a totally shameless plug for my hometown, which I truly think it fantastic.

It seems to me from your post, that it''s all mixed in with not wanting to go to the wedding/expensive to travel. Both of those reasons are valid. If it were me, I would do would neatfreak suggest, plan a trip to Europe, but not for a destination wedding. I honestly, think it would be more fun to travel in europe without the constraints of a wedding/family, especially since you are seeing it for the first time. But that''s just me. I find it hard to balance what I want to see with what everyone else wants to see.

 

[Bia]

I see what you mean neatfreak. I really do want to see them get married because I like them both but my wanting to go is also about using the opportunity--its like perfect timing. My boyfriend is not the "Let's go to Europe" type. He's more the "Let's go somewhere relatively near and convenient" type...LOL Maybe on a honeymoon he'll go, but to just go, I'm not so sure.

He's not a big traveler. I felt like having a reason would tip him over, if he was one the fence. Apparently he wasn't on the fence LOL. She, L, has really tried to reach out to him and I think part of the reason we got to be friendly is because after trying so hard with him, she figured she might try with me. I respond to her emails and calls because shes a nice girl--and she's into a lot of the things Im into. He rarely ever calls her back or emails her. I know he's upset about a situation with L and her former best friend, who is also a good friend of my BFs...the three of them (along w/ 5 other people) grew up in the neighborhood together and when L did some immature things to her ex-BFF, lets call her "N," my BF felt caught in the middle and really more upset at L. However, since N isn't a family friend, L stayed in the circle, and N was sort of quietly given the boot. He's upset about that. I understand it. Although, I always tell him he can still be friends with both...

I guess I should just leave it alone. He also said, "Go with my family if you want to go so bad..." but the whole point is to go with him, but he just doesn't get where I'm coming from.

Tell me, is this a stand-by-your-man time??? If it is, I'll shut up about it.

 

[Bia]

Hi Ally...yea Montreal is definitely a FAB idea to me...I love it there! And you''re right, it totally has a European feel to it. Shoot, I''d live there if all my family wasn''t in the States.

Its hard with him. He''s such a fun-loving, go-with-the-flow kind of guy with most things. But sometimes he can really be stubborn, I mean with CONVICTION! I guess I''ll let it play and see what he says.

Thanks ladies for your thoughts. Much appreciated, as always.

 

[kittybean]

Bia, have you ever talked to your BF about his travel fears/concerns not in the context of a trip you''re planning?
I have pretty major airplane anxiety, and it''s mostly overcome by my desire to see the world, but if that weren''t as strong as it is, you can bet I would not really want to go anywhere if it involved a plane, no matter who was getting married or how pretty the locale might be.

Would he be willing to try counseling or anti-anxiety medication for travel? I have not done much counseling, but the little I got was helpful, and anti-anxiety medicine has been immensely helpful to me. Plane anxiety combines many of my worst fears, and honestly, I can be very irrational and sometimes pretty unpleasant when it strikes me (I get a lot of pre-trip anxiety). Maybe his irritating response to this invitation just has to do with his fear? Of course, I have no idea if that''s the case, but perhaps it''s something to think and/or talk about.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

is it possible that since he is planning such a fun lavish trip to canada for you two that maybe he is planning a proposal at the same time? If that were the case and I was him, I would probably get a little snappy if you kept pushing the europe trip too. And I do have to agree with him about the economy, it'd be better to go when things are better for the country but that's just me.

 

[that_someone_special]

Aww Bia! I totally get and understand why you want to go. I also think that if you were to talk him into going (something he really doesnt want to do) could go either VERY BADLY or he could loosen up and have a blast. I also see where he is talking about the economy (sooo many people are getting laid off!). Maybe give him a day or two and approach it in another way-- saying exactly the other reasons you told us! That you want to use that time to spend with him, and his family- a chance you will never get again. Also, to be honest, if you went to Italy and didn''t attend the wedding, I (being the bride) would be furious. I would wonder why they even bothered going to another country...

But if he really doesn''t want to go... I would leave it at that... unless you CAN come to an agreement (work overtime, get a 3 month weekend-only job for a bit, sell some items) so the trip isn''t that much of a stress, or leap, economy wise. Does that even make sense??

 

[that_someone_special]

But, I also want to point out, if it were me, I would TOTALLY want to go too.

 

[Bia]

Thanks for your input guys!

Kittybean: Yea, we talk about his fear of flying. It is not unusual that he will put off a trip, with whatever excuse, and then we won't end up going. I've actually been on a few trips with relatives or girlfriends because the BF didn't want to go. Hey, I don't mind going alone sometimes, but most of the time I want to experience these things with him. Also, just to point out, my BF loves to read about different civilizations, religions and historical periods. There is so much out there for him to see...I mean Europe is fantastic for history buffs! You know? I even asked him how he expects to go to India and Japan if he doesn't want to fly--he really loves Eastern cultures. He just said for something like that he'd fly...

Also, as I said before, I don't enjoy flying. Much like you, my anxiety sets in pre-flight. After we are in the air, I settle down...but I still am very tense. I've even had a shot of tequila to calm me down on a few occasions. Its life, though. If you want to see the world you have to fly. We don't have the time or money to go by ship, so there really is no other way.

Smurfy: The thought about him proposing in Montreal did cross my mind, but only for a second. I really don't think that's what he's planning. To be honest, if it were, I'd be sort of ticked off because I am expecting a proposal in the next few months (at the very latest). I know that sounds harsh but we've been together too long, and this last year as a LIW, while it has been great (I met you all!), its also been very stressful. I just can't do another 8 months of this--remember, he told me this was the year, back in January-Feb. I think I said before, he has until Feb, and then we are having "the talk." That was a great idea though!

Swedish: He apologized this morning for being snappy...but he said he really wasn't interested in going. His words exactly were, "I think its way too much money to spend for something I don't really feel like doing. I want to go to Europe, but I want to go alone with you and not with the people we see every week in NY." He also said that he doesn't feel close enough to her to go all the way to Italy for her wedding. If it were NY, that'd be one thing, but to spend five thousand dollars and not be able to do what he and I want, would be a waste of money. I don't think it would be a waste, but he clearly does LOL

Ahhhh...I guess there isn't much I can do from here, other than try to convince him by nagging (who wants that?!) or going alone with his family--he said he'd pay for me to go if I really wanted to, and that I could be his representative LOL

 

[fieryred33143]

Hi Bia

First off I want to just commend you on not allowing the opinions of others to sway your feelings about this girl. A lot of times people will hear stories about someone and make a judgment on that person without even knowing them so its cool you aren''t like that.

I think you both have valid points, however, I''m going to have to side with your FF on this one. Even local weddings are getting to be very expensive once you factor in clothes, gifts, and travel. Having this trip in Italy makes it about four times as expensive as a local wedding. Besides, if he isn''t too excited about it now then that means he''ll most likely be not a happy camper once there.

I would not give up on the idea of going to Europe though and maybe talk to him about saving up money to go in the future. But maybe this trip isn''t the one to do that.

I would also talk to him about his feelings that you don''t care about money as obviously that didn''t sit well with you and I''m assuming is very untrue. My guess is that he probably said that out of defensiveness and to get his point across but its worth chatting about.

 

[Bia]

Hi Fiery! Thanks honey, for chiming in. This situation has been very weird for my bf''s group of friends. My BF can be very stubborn, and allthough this girl is one of his oldest friends, his attitute toward her has been very negative, in general. A few months ago she and I, after having tried to get everyone together, finally were able to. We got everyone to go to this beer garden in the City (for Octoberfest) and then out to dinner. It was so much fun! But even still, my BF spent a lot of the time rolling his eyes whenever L said anything about her life or the wedding. It''s really annoying because she loves him a lot. But I can''t tell him to want to be friends with her. I''m just trying to encourage him to stay close to his friends, since they are childhood friends and still in his life because they want to be. GOOD friend are really hard to come by, you all know that. Whatever...

And you''re right. The comment he made about my not caring about money did hurt me...it was a low blow and totally unnecessary. I think that was the main reason he apologized this morning--I made him feel bad

So I am going to stay quiet about the wedding. I guess its not all that important to me...I just thought it would be fun. I have to laugh because my BF usually isn''t so hard-headed about things. I mean, I can usually convince him to see things "my way." LOL But with this, nope. I was telling him this morning that we still have to send a gift and told him about her registry...she registered for gift certificates for a cleaning services once a week and wine for their collection. All he said was "Oh Godddddd." But here I was thinking, "That''s pretty cool! A cleaning service for one full year!"

Let me just say, if I showed my man this thread, he would love you all for taking his side!!!

 

[lala2332]

I would want to go, what a wonderful reason to take a wonderful vacation. Even without the two being that close, it gives you a starting point to plan your vacation.

What if you went ahead and did some research and got some price quotes...(I would think Europe in November is probably one of the cheaper times to visit.) That way you can show him that you are thinking about the $$$ and that the wedding would be a small part of the trip. PLus with his family there..that would be wonderful memories for all of you to share. maybe get his family to put a little pressure on him to go for the family vacation part of it.

Best of luck! I wish I was going!!

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/11/2008 11:44:11 AM
Author: lala2332
I would want to go, what a wonderful reason to take a wonderful vacation. Even without the two being that close, it gives you a starting point to plan your vacation.

What if you went ahead and did some research and got some price quotes...(I would think Europe in November is probably one of the cheaper times to visit.) That way you can show him that you are thinking about the $$$ and that the wedding would be a small part of the trip. PLus with his family there..that would be wonderful memories for all of you to share. maybe get his family to put a little pressure on him to go for the family vacation part of it.

Best of luck! I wish I was going!!

That's what I'm sayin girl. Thank you! LOL You hit the nail on the head...those are my exact feelings about it. I told him we could put money away for this trip and that we don't have to spend the whole time doing wedding stuff with them. But I just thought being there with his family, and his new baby nephew (who he absolutely ADORES) we could make some great memories. Plus, we'd be able to see Italy, which we always have wanted to do (me especially...I have been drawn there for so long). He just doesn't get it and I think its because he doesn't want to.

I feel this time around it will be impossible to convince him.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 12/10/2008 10:20:23 PM
Author:Bia
So, I told him that we should try and go...and I did say ''We hardly ever go anywhere!'' He got defensive and said that he never wanted to go and with the economy the way it is, he feels its a lavish expense for something that doesn''t mean that much to him. He also said, ''You always act like everything costs nothing!''

Basically insinuating that I just want to go to Europe and money is of no concern to me...I don''t think I am like that at all!

Do you think I should leave it alone and accept that we aren''t going (in other words, that he is right) OR do I have a valid point?

Aww Bia!

Ok, so I highlighted something you said. This is EXACTLY some thing S would say. He is so concerned about the economy right now. I personally think S is overly concerned. But he has a good point too. S also said something like this to me when I suggested we raise our Christmas giving price. (We have a set budget of $200.) He got pretty defensive too and went on about the economy and money isn''t just disposable and how do I expect him to save money for a ring or a future house if I want to raise our Christmas buget to $250. I started thinking about it and I figure he is kind of right....

Onto your guy...I think going to Italy would be awesome (because that is something I really want to do myself!) but I see your guy''s point as well. If he isn''t much concerened about it, then it honestly really wouldn''t be worth going. Especially with the economy. I hate to admit it, but he''s right about that part. Maybe just stay near home (I haven''t gone anywhere since 2002 so how do you think I feel? lol) save your money and maybe sometime in the future the two of you can go to Europe when the economy isn''t so bad and when he is actually interested in going. Also, then the trip would be about the two of you only, and not for just going to a friend''s wedding...What do you think?

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 12/10/2008 11:33:25 PM
Author: Bia
He also said, ''Go with my family if you want to go so bad...'' but the whole point is to go with him, but he just doesn''t get where I''m coming from.

Are we dating the same guy?

lol!

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/11/2008 12:18:11 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 12/10/2008 10:20:23 PM
Author:Bia
So, I told him that we should try and go...and I did say 'We hardly ever go anywhere!' He got defensive and said that he never wanted to go and with the economy the way it is, he feels its a lavish expense for something that doesn't mean that much to him. He also said, 'You always act like everything costs nothing!'

Basically insinuating that I just want to go to Europe and money is of no concern to me...I don't think I am like that at all!

Do you think I should leave it alone and accept that we aren't going (in other words, that he is right) OR do I have a valid point?

Aww Bia!

Ok, so I highlighted something you said. This is EXACTLY some thing S would say. He is so concerned about the economy right now. I personally think S is overly concerned. But he has a good point too. S also said something like this to me when I suggested we raise our Christmas giving price. (We have a set budget of $200.) He got pretty defensive too and went on about the economy and money isn't just disposable and how do I expect him to save money for a ring or a future house if I want to raise our Christmas buget to $250. I started thinking about it and I figure he is kind of right....

Onto your guy...I think going to Italy would be awesome (because that is something I really want to do myself!) but I see your guy's point as well. If he isn't much concerened about it, then it honestly really wouldn't be worth going. Especially with the economy. I hate to admit it, but he's right about that part. Maybe just stay near home (I haven't gone anywhere since 2002 so how do you think I feel? lol) save your money and maybe sometime in the future the two of you can go to Europe when the economy isn't so bad and when he is actually interested in going. Also, then the trip would be about the two of you only, and not for just going to a friend's wedding...What do you think?

Hey sweetie. Yea, no worries. Its really not a big deal. I was just perturbed last night (basically ignored him and worked on my Who's Who thread...lol).

He has several good points so I'm basically in agreeance with you (and all the ladies). The economy isn't great and its not a good time to be frivolous with money. I understand that. I was coming from a different angle. One that says, if we plan, save and try to do this in an econmically responsible way, we might be able to do it, no problem. If my BF were in a hot spot with money, or even just pinching pennies and not making big purchases, then I wouldn't have even brought it up--I'm not like that. Our security comes before anything...no matter what. But as I mentioned before, I'm not seeing a difference in his spending habits...he's planning a trip to Canada and even wants to go buy a bigger flat screen tv this year! Like the one we have isn't good enough, we just bought it last year!

I know he just doesn't want to spend that kind of money for something like this. AND its fine...it has to be because I don't think he's going to give in to this one.

Therefore...I concede!!! LOL

 

[Pushin40]

Bia - No I don''t think you should leave it alone.

I think the same way with you on this one - I thnk its a great opportunity, and with SOs family there I am SURE you will have a blast and it wil be worth it!

WHAT I would do is price it all out and present it to him again. I bet you can do this trip on a pretty small budget.

 

[Winks_Elf]

Just my two cents, but I''m with the BF! In this current world climate (economy, violence, etc.), the last thing I would want to do is go traveling abroad. PLUS, if you and he are saving for a home/engagement ring/wedding/paying college/etc., you need a trip to europe like a hole in the head!

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/11/2008 12:49:24 PM
Author: Pushin40
Bia - No I don''t think you should leave it alone.

I think the same way with you on this one - I thnk its a great opportunity, and with SOs family there I am SURE you will have a blast and it wil be worth it!

WHAT I would do is price it all out and present it to him again. I bet you can do this trip on a pretty small budget.

Thanks! I will tell him this later, just like you said, when we aren''t fresh from the arugment. But I agree...it is a perfect opportunity to have some fun with his family and of course, SEE ITALY..uhhh...hello!!!

Maybe I''ll quietly research on my own and see what I come up with. But I won''t pressure him, that''s for sure...promise

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/11/2008 12:52:53 PM
Author: Winks_Elf
Just my two cents, but I''m with the BF! In this current world climate (economy, violence, etc.), the last thing I would want to do is go traveling abroad. PLUS, if you and he are saving for a home/engagement ring/wedding/paying college/etc., you need a trip to europe like a hole in the head!

Thanks Winks_Elf. Appreciate the feedback. I totally agree with you in that this is def not the time to be frivolously spending. And although I do admit that I am a much better spender than saver, I have changed my ways because you just never know what can happen.

As for not traveling abroad, I''m not so sure... I think when certain opportunities present themselves its good to take advantage of them because you may not have the time, health or the money to do it at a later date. Right now, we do have the money and the time (and health, thank God). I suggested squirreling away some money each month to help make it less expensive but as I said, he''s planning a trip for later next year so money isn''t really the issue--not saying we have all this money to blow, we certainly don''t. I say that more in the context that you presented it: i.e., he already owns a home and has money for the ring (I think--we share most bank accounts) and my college is paid for...etc. Its more spending the money on THIS event. Had it been for my brothers wedding (he got married in the fall) he would have gladly gone. Its her...he doesn''t really feel like spending money to go to her wedding. Does that make sense?

 

[Pandora II]

I totally see your side and why you would like to go.

For me travelling is something I''ve done my whole life and I actually left a very serious relationship because he wasn''t into it. I couldn''t be married to a man who wasn''t prepared to hop on a plane on a regular basis and if the opportunity came to move abroad for work to seize it with both hands. But then, I was dragged up all over the place and don''t have roots anywhere so it''s just the way I see life.

If you want to look on the bright side of NOT going, November wouldn''t be my choice of season for visiting Italy. You didn''t say where it was in Italy, but Tuscany and anywhere further North will be FREEZING! There is a reason that Italians wear fur coats a lot!

Best time of year to visit Italy is April/May to beginning July (end July to end August are boiling hot and everywhere is shut in August except at the seaside) or September/October.

Seems like your BF has a serious issue with this girl - if she''s a family friend, it would be a good idea to sort things if possible...

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/11/2008 2:36:55 PM
Author: Pandora II
I totally see your side and why you would like to go.

For me travelling is something I''ve done my whole life and I actually left a very serious relationship because he wasn''t into it. I couldn''t be married to a man who wasn''t prepared to hop on a plane on a regular basis and if the opportunity came to move abroad for work to seize it with both hands. But then, I was dragged up all over the place and don''t have roots anywhere so it''s just the way I see life.

If you want to look on the bright side of NOT going, November wouldn''t be my choice of season for visiting Italy. You didn''t say where it was in Italy, but Tuscany and anywhere further North will be FREEZING! There is a reason that Italians wear fur coats a lot!

Best time of year to visit Italy is April/May to beginning July (end July to end August are boiling hot and everywhere is shut in August except at the seaside) or September/October.

Seems like your BF has a serious issue with this girl - if she''s a family friend, it would be a good idea to sort things if possible...

Pandora: Thanks for the advice! You always have loads of great advice for us LIW.

Good for you! You left because he didn''t like to do something you love to do...something you need to do. We all have our deal breakers...the LIW have been talking about that a lot lately.

The wedding is in Rome, which is fairly mild climate, no? I think it will be a nice time to go, but to me, anytime would be a nice time to go...can you tell I''m desperate to go to Italy? I really am...> But I guess it will have to wait, unless he miraculously changes his mind.

As for his issues with this girl, that''s on him because she''s not my childhood friend. His family doesn''t really care anymore either...I think it has a lot to do with change. Everyone is sort of moving on. My BF is fine with that...and here I am encouraging him to stay close--its with the best of intentions that I do this. I only have a few really good (childhood) friends and they all live out of state...I just don''t want him to regret later. Ahhh well...such is life.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 12/11/2008 12:39:49 PM
Author: Bia
Hey sweetie. Yea, no worries. Its really not a big deal. I was just perturbed last night (basically ignored him and worked on my Who's Who thread...lol).

He has several good points so I'm basically in agreeance with you (and all the ladies). The economy isn't great and its not a good time to be frivolous with money. I understand that. I was coming from a different angle. One that says, if we plan, save and try to do this in an econmically responsible way, we might be able to do it, no problem. If my BF were in a hot spot with money, or even just pinching pennies and not making big purchases, then I wouldn't have even brought it up--I'm not like that. Our security comes before anything...no matter what. But as I mentioned before, I'm not seeing a difference in his spending habits...he's planning a trip to Canada and even wants to go buy a bigger flat screen tv this year! Like the one we have isn't good enough, we just bought it last year!

I know he just doesn't want to spend that kind of money for something like this. AND its fine...it has to be because I don't think he's going to give in to this one.

Therefore...I concede!!! LOL

Well, truthfully...I would feel the same way you do. And really, situations like yours somehow make ME realize and understand FF's points that he makes to me....(God, if he saw me saying this!!

) For some reason he is incredibly paranoid about the whole economy thing. It's almost too much for me! He is soooooo so worried about everything. And what's funny is he usually doesn't worry about anything. He tells me not to worry. But the job he is at now isn't doing the greatest business at the moment and he has been trying to find a better job (with his degree, like I've been saying) but no luck yet which is stressing him out. So he kind of feels 'stuck' right now in a place where he can't advance at the moment. I'm sure once he gets the better job and has more money to save, he will feel much better about things.

Back to you...I'm sure one day the two of you will be in a place where you can make a trip out there alone together when it's just about you. That sounds exciting! It's something that I really want S and I to do in the future. If I were you, I'd say..."Well, I've been thinking and decided you need to save that money for my ring

instead of going to some wedding!" haha!

I'd also point out that he hasn't changed his spending habbits and is saving money to go to Canada and that tv which he really doesn't need. That isn't good in this economy!

.........(but that's just lil 'ol devil me

)

ETA- I see that you posted over there! I haven't read it yet. I will do that as soon as I get a little more time!!

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/11/2008 3:47:49 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Well, truthfully...I would feel the same way you do. And really, situations like yours somehow make ME realize and understand FF's points that he makes to me....(God, if he saw me saying this!!

) For some reason he is incredibly paranoid about the whole economy thing. It's almost too much for me! He is soooooo so worried about everything. And what's funny is he usually doesn't worry about anything. He tells me not to worry. But the job he is at now isn't doing the greatest business at the moment and he has been trying to find a better job (with his degree, like I've been saying) but no luck yet which is stressing him out. So he kind of feels 'stuck' right now in a place where he can't advance at the moment. I'm sure once he gets the better job and has more money to save, he will feel much better about things.

Back to you...I'm sure one day the two of you will be in a place where you can make a trip out there alone together when it's just about you. That sounds exciting! It's something that I really want S and I to do in the future. If I were you, I'd say...'Well, I've been thinking and decided you need to save that money for my ring

instead of going to some wedding!' haha!

I'd also point out that he hasn't changed his spending habbits and is saving money to go to Canada and that tv which he really doesn't need. That isn't good in this economy!

.........(but that's just lil 'ol devil me

)

ETA- I see that you posted over there! I haven't read it yet. I will do that as soon as I get a little more time!!

I might Dream...I just might have to do that

I haven't said anything about the tv yet, because we haven't gone to look at them. BUT...THE VERY SECOND he says, "Babe, lets go to Best Buy to check out some flat scree..." I'm going to interject and say, "Hmmm....well since you mentioned it...remember when I suggested we go to Europe?" hehehe. So he better not even go there, ya feel me?

PS- That ring you speak of, better have been saved for by now, because if it hasn't...its on baby! The gloves are coming out!

 

[that_someone_special]

Date: 12/11/2008 4:11:38 PM
Author: Bia

I might Dream...I just might have to do that

I haven''t said anything about the tv yet, because we haven''t gone to look at them. BUT...THE VERY SECOND he says, ''Babe, lets go to Best Buy to check out some flat scree...'' I''m going to interject and say, ''Hmmm....well since you mentioned it...remember when I suggested we go to Europe?'' hehehe. So he better not even go there, ya feel me?

PS- That ring you speak of, better have been saved for by now, because if it hasn''t...its on baby! The gloves are coming out!

Lol you are too funny! I agree. 100% my boyfriend tries to pull stuff like that, "no we can''t go out to dinner.... but I really want some new wii/ DS games" .. AHM... NO!

Go get him

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 12/11/2008 5:48:33 PM
Author: swedish bean

Date: 12/11/2008 4:11:38 PM
Author: Bia

I might Dream...I just might have to do that

I haven't said anything about the tv yet, because we haven't gone to look at them. BUT...THE VERY SECOND he says, 'Babe, lets go to Best Buy to check out some flat scree...' I'm going to interject and say, 'Hmmm....well since you mentioned it...remember when I suggested we go to Europe?' hehehe. So he better not even go there, ya feel me?

PS- That ring you speak of, better have been saved for by now, because if it hasn't...its on baby! The gloves are coming out!

Lol you are too funny! I agree. 100% my boyfriend tries to pull stuff like that, 'no we can't go out to dinner.... but I really want some new wii/ DS games' .. AHM... NO!

Go get him

hehe

You ladies are learning!!!!!

Have I corrupted your minds? hahaha! Dreamgirl really IS an angel you know. Just, an angel who speaks the truth and doesn't hold back!

I tell the boy what he needs to be told.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Bia- So remember how I told you about the whole Christmas gift thing with FF in my above post? Well.......last night I asked him how many gifts he had for me so far. He said 5. I said "well I only have 4 things for you and just $26 left to spend. I really like GIVING for Christmas. I want to give you more than 4 things!" He lashed back at me with a "You need to save your money DG!!! THE ECONOMY THE ECONOMY

" lol! And I said "I do save my money! You know that! I probably save over 99% of my money! You aren't listening to me. This isn't about me.....I said I want to GIVE YOU more!!!" lol So he tells me again (and is very adamant about it) "Well, if you want NICE things, you have to save and not spend on little things...."

"What kind of NICE things do you mean???" I asked and then he didn't answer me (watching tv...) I asked again but nothing...lol Perhaps he meant HE has to save....

(after he said this the first thought I had was...I gotta tell Bia!) lol