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Am I crazy?

liaerfbv

Brilliant_Rock
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My poor DH would emphatically answer yes. I have a gorgeous engagement ring. I lost my e-ring last year, and I replaced it with a 2.2ct OEC in a Jbeg Julia earlier this year. It's wonderful, it's exactly what I wanted... and it just doesn't look right on my hand. I don't even know how to explain it. The ring itself is perfect and there's literally nothing I would change. The diamond is fabulous, I love the cut, color, etc., and yet when I look it I feel nothing. I didn't have sentimental attachment to my last engagement ring, so it's not that. I cannot justify redoing my ring, and even if I could, I'm not sure I would - especially since I can't pinpoint what the problem is.

What is my problem?? Has anyone else had this issue? Should I start looking at settings? Should I live with it for a year and see how I feel? I can't even bring this up with DH anymore, poor guy. He says he just wants me to be happy and is fine with whatever I want to do.
 

Niel

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Is it maybe that it's not you? Its like trying on wedding dresses. I was so certain I wanted a big ball gown. I tried it on and just hated it. I tried on this or that and felt so blah. Pretty, sure, but I couldn't care less about them.

Then. I found one and I love it. A shape I never thought I wanted, too.

I wonder if diamonds are similar. You can appreciate the aesthetic elements of your ring, but they just aren't for you.
Maybe you need an emerald cut, or a marquise. Or a ruby trillion! Who knows? I'd buy some cheap rings and where them for a few days each. See whatakes your heart sing.
 

madelise

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liaerfbv|1374626803|3488842 said:
My poor DH would emphatically answer yes. I have a gorgeous engagement ring. I lost my e-ring last year, and I replaced it with a 2.2ct OEC in a Jbeg Julia earlier this year. It's wonderful, it's exactly what I wanted... and it just doesn't look right on my hand. I don't even know how to explain it. The ring itself is perfect and there's literally nothing I would change. The diamond is fabulous, I love the cut, color, etc., and yet when I look it I feel nothing. I didn't have sentimental attachment to my last engagement ring, so it's not that. I cannot justify redoing my ring, and even if I could, I'm not sure I would - especially since I can't pinpoint what the problem is.

What is my problem?? Has anyone else had this issue? Should I start looking at settings? Should I live with it for a year and see how I feel? I can't even bring this up with DH anymore, poor guy. He says he just wants me to be happy and is fine with whatever I want to do.


I think some of us are just insatiable. I have perfect rings. But they don't make my heart pitter patter the way that looking at OTHERS' rings make my heart pitter patter. I don't think I'll ever have that feeling that some PSers have for their rings.


If there's nothing wrong with your ring, give it a nice scrub and bubble bath and put it away. Don't look at it for as long as you can hold out. Then take it back out when you're really craving to see it. This is the only way I keep myself interested in my own stuff.
 

Slickk

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I think it may be a case of "the grass is always greener..." I love my rings but I always see others that I desire. I think it is just a love of bling lol. It's dangerous to the bank account. Lol :o
 

junebug17

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Yes, you are indeed crazy! :cheeky: I kid, I kid!! I took a peek at your ring, and it certainly is beautiful though. I guess it's kind of hard to *fix* this, since you can't really identify what is bothering you about it. Maybe you're not a solitaire kind of girl? Do you think you'd be happier with a 3 stone, or a 5 stone band? How about a halo? Or maybe a different shape diamond, as Niel suggested.

Since you aren't sure what the issue is, I guess I would recommend just wearing it for now, and browse around PS and the Internet and see if anything else appeals to you. Maybe you could go to a few stores and try on some different styles/shapes.

And for the record, I don't think you're crazy! Athough once you can identify what you don't like about your ring, it will be easier to make suggestions.

Had another thought...just going to throw this out there...do feel a little guilty about the expense of the ring? I ask only because I felt kind of guilty for a while, and it kept me from enjoying my ring.
 

04diamond<3

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Messages
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I would agree with others...at the same time, I wonder if it's the OEC...it's definitely a different cut and I'm not sure that it's for everyone. While I like looking at other's rings who have OEC or AVR's, I'm not sure that I would like that. I like smaller facets and like for more of the 'busy" look in a stone....others would call it "crushed ice". Have you had a MRB? Did you like it? If you haven't had one...maybe getting one and trying that out? If you don't like your ring now I don't think it'll grown on you....or it may...

Just wanted to add, no, I don't think you're crazy...I just think you haven't found your thing yet and would suggest trying different options till you do find it.
 

junebug17

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04diamond<3|1374634549|3488941 said:
I wonder if it's the OEC...it's definitely a different cut and I'm not sure that it's for everyone.

This is a good point 04diamond<3. Lia, do you think you might prefer a MRB?
 

liaerfbv

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What's throwing me is that I am a pretty decisive person in general in life. I know what I like, I know what I want, I am not a waffler... but when it comes to my e-ring, it's been an unfulfilling situation from day 1. DH proposed with a family stone, a 1.3 MRB that I loved. I loved the sparkle, I loved it. However, I could never find my "forever" setting. I had a solitaire, I had a vintage halo, I had a stack, but nothing ever felt right. I was sad when I lost the stone, but I had been lusting after an OEC, and I don't regret the decision to replace my MRB with an OEC. I do love this diamond.

Niel, I think you may be right - it's visually appealing, but maybe just not the right style for me. Like I said, it's bizarre for me to be going through this as I have a very defined style and know what I like (case in point, I bought the first wedding dress I put on :D ).

Junebug & 04diamond - I do love MRBs and I've had one before, and I don't think that's the issue for me. I think the wedding set is my problem. However, at this point I can't rule anything out. I did feel the same way about my MRB set when I had it (in all variations).

I just don't want to keep throwing good money after bad. I've tried putting away my rings over the years as others have suggested, because I don't want to obsess about it and I thought maybe some absence would make the heart grow fonder (haha), and I have not found that to be the case. I pull them back out when DH asks about them, etc., not because I'm ready to see my ring again.

Who knows - I'll probably just keep wearing it for now and hope that one day something speaks to me!
 

motownmama

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What wedding band do you wear with it? Might changing that spice it up for you a little?
 

liaerfbv

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I'm almost embarrassed to admit how many wedding bands I have that I've tried to mix it up with... but if you can't admit you hoard wedding bands on PS, then where can you admit it?! :lol: The main band I wear is a yellow gold eternity with rubies and diamonds. I have another YG diamond eternity that I stack, a WG prong eternity, plain WG band, WG milgrain eternity... etc. As a last resort, I thought I might get the milgrain band from jbeg that perfectly matches the pave around the head of my Julia, but I normally am not into matchy stuff (as you can tell from my array of gold colors and stones), so I'm not sure if that would scratch the itch.

I will admit I'm obsessed with a co-workers 3 stone e-ring. Elongated baguette sides, very classic. I'm not sure how I would feel about an OEC in a 3 stone though, I feel like the look would be better with a MRB? Maybe it's just me.
 

sweetpea&babycorn

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Nope not crazy at all! I have a 2.49 OEC that I love love love love, but like you, I am not in love with my setting. I thought I wanted a solitaire to showcase my center stone, but the solitaire just looks weird on me too.

If you have the time and energy, why not shop around and look at settings? Just remember to take hand pics so when you try to remember you can whip out the picture and say, hot dog this looks good on my hand :) Also FWIW, my friend in school has an heirloom OEC, about 2 carats, and she reset it into a 3-stone with baguette side stones, and it's GORGEOUS, it almost made me think of doing a similar reset myself, but I'm really not a 3-stone kind of person. If you are considering the 3 stone, just make sure you get the proportions to your liking. Is your OEC. I've also seen an OEC set with heart shaped side stones and that ring made my heart go pitter patter. You could also consider pears as side stones too
 

LaraOnline

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Hmmm, as a woman who has changed up her wedding jewelery myself, these are my thoughts:

Time is on your side, there is no rush for anything. Nothing needs to be done, and at the same time, nothing needs to be left undone... it's just a ring.

You seem to have drilled down on the fact that it is NOT the stone that is bothering you, it is the setting. You may be interested in exploring the three-stone idea at some stage, or at any rate something with more interest / design in the setting itself.

I would keep a pictorial journal (hey, or maybe just a computer file) filled with pictures that 'appeal' to you, for some reason, any reason or perhaps no reason at all.

In the meantime, keep the ring scrupulously clean at all times, this in itself works wonders as far as enjoyment goes.

Perhaps you should do a deal with yourself NOT to touch or even critique your e-ring for at least a year. That gives you 'mental space'.

Perhaps consider looking at other types of jewellery for a while, if you are a jewellery buff.

Whatever happens, the main idea is to 'enjoy the journey'. Otherwise your e-ring is diminished into some kind of anxiety-driven consumer experience, and that's really not the best way to enjoy your wedding jewelry.
 

Hera

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Could it be the size of the diamond?
I have been a serial re-setter and probably have had 5 different settings. What I realized about 7 years ago that it was much more about the size of the diamond. I like more finger coverage. I would go and continue window shopping and see what makes your heart flutter.
 

valmanin

Brilliant_Rock
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Jan 30, 2013
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Uhhh...yep...felt this before! :lol:

In fact I have documented it all over PS. For me it is the actual stone which I never fell in love with but it has also turned out to be the setting....solitaire is not for me after all.

BTW, I am like you with a very defined style and sense of what I like...USUALLY! Unfortunately, I also like to buck trends and "do my own thing" which can be costly with jewelry if it doesn't work out. :lol: I actually quite easily designed my own wedding dress, but it did take me a good few months of weeding through all the different options to figure out what was most "me" and would look best on me.

I second the idea of going and trying rings on to see what shapes and types of finger coverage make you love looking at your hand. I think some people need that east/west finger coverage that a 3 stone provides more than a halo which makes the rock look bigger but doesn't go across the finger. I also think a split shank can help give more visual width to your ring.

Just out of curiosity, how would you define your style?
 

valmanin

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Okay...I just went and looked at your SMTB pics and it doesn't surprise me that your JbEG setting, while beautiful, doesn't do it for you. Your super funky and cool nail polish says it all! I think possibly the Julia is too...um...reserved. Of course just guessing here. The Julia is classic with a twist, but the twist is subtle. I would bet you would be happier with something more unique and exciting!
 

Rosebloom

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valmanin said:
Okay...I just went and looked at your SMTB pics and it doesn't surprise me that your JbEG setting, while beautiful, doesn't do it for you. Your super funky and cool nail polish says it all! I think possibly the Julia is too...um...reserved. Of course just guessing here. The Julia is classic with a twist, but the twist is subtle. I would bet you would be happier with something more unique and exciting!

That was my exact thought too! Maybe something with lots of personality would fit the bill.

Here are a slew of non-solitaire pics from my Pinterest. Maybe something will strike your fancy!

imageuploadedbytapatalk1375053868.jpg

imageuploadedbytapatalk1375053885.jpg

imageuploadedbytapatalk1375053893.jpg

imageuploadedbytapatalk1375053905.jpg
 

Rosebloom

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Rosebloom

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Messages
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Rosebloom

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Messages
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imageuploadedbytapatalk1375054070.jpg

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Rosebloom

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(It was super easy to post these pics so don't feel bad at all if you hate em all!)

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imageuploadedbytapatalk1375054158.jpg
 

liaerfbv

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Thank you all for the kind words and understanding!!! Yes, I think you hit the nail on the head, Valmanin, that the Julia just may not be "enough." My personal style is pretty loud. My friends joke that I've never met a print I didn't like, my favorite color is bright green, and I love red lipstick and my hair has been every color under the sun.

When I first started looking at replacement settings for my new OEC after I lost my MRB, I gravitated toward vintage-y halos, but that was similar to the setting I had previously lost that didn't scratch the itch, so I thought I would try something different. I was (and still concerned) about getting something trendy that I might get tired of in a few years, so I started looking at really classic settings and fell in love with the Julia. But like I said, it's just not right on my hand.

Rosebloom, thanks for posting all of those gorgeous settings! I think I'm realizing that I am drawn to halos more so than solitaires, and I loooooove the one you posted with the emerald halo. :love: Do you happen to know where that is from??

I love the suggestion to just not think about the ring for awhile. I think I'm going to just start saving inspiration of things I like and let the pattern emerge of what catches my eye. DH said I can go ahead and start looking into selling my Julia and put my OEC into a temp setting while I work it out, but I'm not sure I'm there yet.

Thank goodness for PS to be able to share all of this! I love my girlfriends IRL, but as I'm sure many of you can related to - they do not understand the jewelry compulsion issues and while they are supportive, they don't necessarily "get it." :lol:
 

liaerfbv

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valmanin

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liaerfbv|1375058637|3492147 said:
Thank you all for the kind words and understanding!!! Yes, I think you hit the nail on the head, Valmanin, that the Julia just may not be "enough." My personal style is pretty loud. My friends joke that I've never met a print I didn't like, my favorite color is bright green, and I love red lipstick and my hair has been every color under the sun.

When I first started looking at replacement settings for my new OEC after I lost my MRB, I gravitated toward vintage-y halos, but that was similar to the setting I had previously lost that didn't scratch the itch, so I thought I would try something different. I was (and still concerned) about getting something trendy that I might get tired of in a few years, so I started looking at really classic settings and fell in love with the Julia. But like I said, it's just not right on my hand.

Thank goodness for PS to be able to share all of this! I love my girlfriends IRL, but as I'm sure many of you can related to - they do not understand the jewelry compulsion issues and while they are supportive, they don't necessarily "get it." :lol:

Food for thought: if you are the kind of person that wears cool sparkly funky nail polish, changes her hair color, loves bright green, wears red lipstick, I would imagine you are not trendy, but stylistically fresh, edgy, and risk-taking. I think your ring should reflect that style...then you will love it. I wouldn't worry too much about getting tired of it in a few years. When I got engaged 11 years ago, my ring was totally different from everyone else...the setting was so unique compared to anything else out there. I thought I would never tire of it. But, 11 years later I look at it and it looks dated. It's everything from the metalwork to the type of diamonds in the setting to the prongs. Get something you love now and worry about tiring of it if/when that ever happens. ;-)
 

LaraOnline

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valmanin|1375066312|3492216 said:
Get something you love now and worry about tiring of it if/when that ever happens. ;-)

Amen! Creative types and jewellery buffs are always going to consider changing up their jewellery.

i think the concept of 'one ring forever' is just too hard... I mean, even the man changes over time, which makes things more interesting iykwim. You're gonna want to move on in some way, jewellery wise.

Rosebloom, that very first photo you posted, with the eide YG e-ring and wedder, is simply DIVINE!! STUNNING!
You sure got a file of eye candy on hand, Lady!
 

msop04

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Threadjack!! (apologies...)

Where. Did. This. Come. From.??? (the round in the octagonal halo)
I. Die.
 

Rosebloom

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LaraOnline said:
valmanin|1375066312|3492216 said:
Get something you love now and worry about tiring of it if/when that ever happens. ;-)

Amen! Creative types and jewellery buffs are always going to consider changing up their jewellery.

i think the concept of 'one ring forever' is just too hard... I mean, even the man changes over time, which makes things more interesting iykwim. You're gonna want to move on in some way, jewellery wise.

Rosebloom, that very first photo you posted, with the eide YG e-ring and wedder, is simply DIVINE!! STUNNING!
You sure got a file of eye candy on hand, Lady!

Here's the link!

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-some-van-craeynest.79472/page-16']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-some-van-craeynest.79472/page-16[/URL]
 

Rosebloom

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liaerfbv

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LaraOnline|1375104375|3492359 said:
valmanin|1375066312|3492216 said:
Get something you love now and worry about tiring of it if/when that ever happens. ;-)

Amen! Creative types and jewellery buffs are always going to consider changing up their jewellery.

i think the concept of 'one ring forever' is just too hard... I mean, even the man changes over time, which makes things more interesting iykwim. You're gonna want to move on in some way, jewellery wise.

Rosebloom, that very first photo you posted, with the eide YG e-ring and wedder, is simply DIVINE!! STUNNING!
You sure got a file of eye candy on hand, Lady!


I agree it's probably unrealistic to think about having "one ring to rule them all" forever, but a girl can hope... I know DH would like it if I found the one, he's very sentimental about his ring and I'm lucky that he just wants me to be happy and was even open to a reset in the first place!

I agree, Rosebloom, your eye candy folder must be to die for if this is what you pulled out in the blink of an eye!
 
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