Am I crazy to buy dress before the proposal?

[SeattleSweetheart]

Hi, all!

I need some feedback. Have any of you bought your wedding dress before the proposal?

Here''s my story. My FF and I went to a bridal show last weekend because he was a vendor. I had fun walking around while he was working and I tried on some dresses.

I found the dress of my dreams at an amazing price.

It is the "Grace" dress by Maggie Sottero and the total I would pay is $679, that includes tax and everything. I''ve seen this exact dress for more than $1000 other places. The dress is corsetted (spelling?) in the back and will adjust to weight gain/loss without needing any alterations, so buying it 2 yrs before the wedding really wouldn''t be an issue.

We are planning on getting married within the next two years, he just wasn''t planning on proposing until next June. He wanted to be dating at least 1.5 yrs before proposing, but he has made it clear that I am the woman he is going to marry. We plan on moving in together in 12 months. We have talked about every aspect of marriage and know that we are a really great match for each other. At this point the proposal is a very important formality.

I know a lot could happen in the next 9 months, but it is just such a good price for the exact dress I want. He has told me he thinks it''s a little premature to buy a dress, since he hasn''t proposed yet. He told me to wait until we go to the Seattle Wedding Expo this weekend and then make my decision after I''ve looked at some other gowns. I have until the end of September to make up my mind because the price goes up on Oct 1st.

Please tell me, am I crazy to buy a dress before the proposal?

If you''re curious, here''s the link to the dress
http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?style=J857&backUrl=%2fviewBride.aspx%3fshowAll%3d1%26pageSize%3d8%26Id%3d1797

Thanks for you help!

 

[TravelingGal]

I don''t think it''s crazy, but I don''t think it''s wise either.

If you really want it, but change your mind later, I suppose you could try to sell it. But ask the ladies on the BWW forum...they have been known to find new and better dresses after finding the initial "dream" dress.

In two years styles and TASTES change.

 

[musey]

ditto everything TG said.

I remember another LIW posting awhile ago on the exact same subject, except the dress in question was one of those cupcakey ones with all the pickups... sort of like this one. The response on here was a nearly unanimous "don't do it," mainly because it was such a fashion-dependent gown that would likely be "out" in a couple of years (on top of the whole you may change your mind later thing).

BUT, the gown you've chosen is quite classic and, honestly, simply gorgeous. It won't be going "out of fashion" anytime soon, so the only issue is whether or not YOU will still like it in however many years. Oh, and keeping it in tip-top brand-new condition until the nuptials.

Think about things you chose two or more years ago, especially if you're like me and have ripped out magazine ads for wedding gowns every so often since age 15. Do you still love the ones you picked earlier in your life?

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 9/11/2007 8:53:56 PM
Author:SeattleSweetheart
Please tell me, am I crazy to buy a dress before the proposal?

IMHO, it would be crazy to buy THAT dress THIS far in advance of a proposal (you say next June?? maybe??) for the sole purpose of a POSSIBLE net savings of $300-ish. WAY CRAZY!!!

Sorry!

 

[Sha]

Hm.. I think that if you know the proposal''s coming sooner or later, and you feel this is THE dress, AND you think that your preferences are unlikely to change, then you can go for it. As someone else, sometimes feelings change, but then again, sometimes we just know what we like, and it doesn''t matter if it''s now or 2 years down the road, it would still be THE one for you.

 

[teetee]

I don''t think it is crazy to buy that dress so far in advance but I don''t think the savings in this case would be worth risking that you may change your mind or something else may change in the next two years. Now if the price was like $100, then maybe...

 

[Hera]

I think you''re buying the dress too far in advance.

 

[musey]

Date: 9/12/2007 12:55:24 AM
Author: heraanderson
I think you''re buying the dress too far in advance.

LOL, I REALLY need to work on being as succinct as you and Harriet. Points are made much more clearly that way!

 

[Hera]

Date: 9/12/2007 2:09:46 AM
Author: musey

Date: 9/12/2007 12:55:24 AM
Author: heraanderson
I think you''re buying the dress too far in advance.

LOL, I REALLY need to work on being as succinct as you and Harriet. Points are made much more clearly that way!

I guess there wasn''t much left to interpretation, huh

 

[dec2410]

I agree with the other ladies, although the dress is gorgeous, I would hold off until you''re closer to getting married to buy a dress. The savings isn''t that much, and who knows, you''re taste might change, or you might even run into a dress that you love even more

in the next two years!

 

[goodfun7580]

I know you love the dress, but its not smart to purchase it now. I think it would make your boyfriend extremely uncomfortable to know that you purchased a dress 9 months out from a proposal. Especially since he''s already stated its premature. If you were getting engaged like next month, I''d totally get it, but so much can happen between now and next June.

 

[musey]

Did anyone see that episode of the bachelor (I forget which season... maybe the italian guy??) where he went on her "hometown date" and she paraded around in some wedding dress she had bought before even meeting him? Then revealed her life "plan" for marriage by 30, kids by 32, or whatever?

Okay SeattleSweetheart, this is SO not like that at all, but some of the other posts reminded me of it. Just be glad that if it''s a *little* crazy to buy a wedding dress so early, it''s never THAT kinda crazy!!!!!

 

[SeattleSweetheart]

Thanks to everyone for your feedback. I really appreciated it.

I still haven''t decided either way, but it''s always good to get a more objective opinion.

I will admit I am leaning toward waiting to buy the dress. My boyfriend is more important to me than any dress.

Thanks Again.

 

[havernell]

I agree with you SeattleSparkle, that your boyfriend''s feelings about this are worth way more than $300. I think he did a good job of being honest with you about how he felt about you buying a dress now, and therefore I think you should respect his wishes.

Furthermore, Maggie Sottero is a really popular brand now, so over the next year or so there will probably be tons of her dresses for sale on sites like preownedweddingdresses.com and other places where women are selling their "gently used" gowns (usually for 50% or more off). Also, if you find this dress in a store you could ask the owner if she''d be willing to sell you the sample gown once they don''t need it anymore- that''s another good way to save money on a gown.

Basically what I"m trying to say is that this expo isn''t the ONLY place you could get a good deal on this dress, and you could even end up getting the dress for even cheaper than $679 if you wait!

 

[anchor31]

2 years before the wedding is too early... I''m having a 2 years engagement (10½ months now) and I changed my mind 3 times since engaged. You also have to consider the location, time of year and time of day, formality and colour scheme of your wedding; that alone can change radically the type of dress you will choose. I really recommend having those details pinned down before buying your dress so you don''t become a two-dress bride and lose money.

That said, it''s a beautiful dress!

 

[Stardust]

Too early. It doesn''t matter if you''re engaged or not, it matter how close you are to the wedding. I didn''t change my mind once I bought the dress, but only because I couldn''t afford to change my mind (we did everything on the cheap). Wait until about 8-16 months before the wedding date to decide, engaged or not. That gives you plenty of time to order the dress without having near the time to change your mind, which could still easily happen.