Am I being sensitive

[AmeliaG]

OK, so a friend and I had been talking about getting together with a couple we both know and we got a message from the wife out of the blue that an acquaintance will be visiting NY from Spain and would we like to get together with them for some Spanish food.

I responded, 'Sure, I love Spanish food but do you think your friend would prefer a change from Spanish food?'

I got the answer back, 'EXCELLENT question. How astute of you. We'll find out soon enough.'

I thought she was being sarcastic; as if to say, of course she had thought of it and planned the Spanish dinner having taken it into consideration. But she hadn't mentioned it and it's an easy enough assumption, for example, to think that your British friends would want to go to the British tea house in Greenwich Village for tea when in fact, they'd rather spend their time in New York experiencing American culture.

My friend didn't read any sarcasm in this reply at all. So, am I overthinking it? I really don't know how to respond to this last e-mail (or rather should I?)

I don't know if it matters but I don't know this couple as well as my friend does and neither of us know their Spanish acquaintance.

 

[junebug17]

Hmm, maybe she was being sincere and telling you you made a good point I don't think she was being sarcastic, but her response is a bit cryptic. Not sure what she means by "we'll find out soon enough". Maybe she's going to ask this person if she'd like to try a different kind of food I don't think I'd email her back, I'd just wait to hear back from her.

 

[zoebartlett]

I didn't read any sarcasm in your friend's e-mail. I see what you mean though but I think you might be over-thinking it.

 

[JewelFreak]

Amelia, it doesn't sound sarcastic to me, more like that she hadn't thought of it that way. I really don't think it sounds like she's offended. The big trouble with email is that it doesn't carry a tone of voice (or smiles! ). Often we're left confused even when we know the writer well, especially when we don't. Your friend knows her better & sees no offense.

Since there's room for either interpretation, why not go with the more pleasant one & put it out of your mind? I've had major uproars with good friends when I write something in one tone of voice & they read it in another -- so maybe give her the benefit of the doubt. I'll bet once you see her, you'll realize she was complimenting you! Have fun at the dinner.

--- Laurie

 

[VRBeauty]

Yes.

 

[sonnyjane]

I also didn't get any sarcasm. I took it as "DUH! Good point, I'll ask".

 

[Rhea]

Yes, you are.

There's no need to respond to the email at all. I'm sure if the venue changes due to the Spanish friend's preferences she'll let you know.

 

[Gypsy]

I also didn't get any sarcasm. I took it as "DUH! Good point, I'll ask".

Ditto. Yes, you are being too sensitive.

 

[Skippy123]

you probably are but I know some passive aggressive people that sometimes make me wonder so I know where you are coming from!

 

[AmeliaG]

I guess I didn't think it was a very astute comment so that's why I thought she was being sarcastic.

 

[JulieN]

LOL, you are reading too much into this.

 

[madelise]

You're too cute. I do this too. I read into things way too much, and SO laughs his butt off at me. I hope you guys have fun going out, and eating whatever cuisine you end up eating!! I just wanted to say that you're not alone in the sensitivity/reading too much into things!!

 

[VRBeauty]

I guess I didn't think it was a very astute comment so that's why I thought she was being sarcastic.

I guess part of my reaction was - so what? even if she was being sarcastic, would it change what you do in any way? You didn't mention that you've had a problem with snarky or passive-agressive behavior from her in the past, so... even if it was sarcasm on her part, maybe you just overlook it this time.

 

[iheartscience]

It sounds kind of sarcastic/passive aggressive to me and I'm not sensitive at all. But I am sarcastic! (Not so much on the passive aggressive...I'm just regular aggressive. ) That said, if your friend is typically straightforward and not passive aggressive or sarcastic, you may be reading into it too much.

 

[Anastasia]

I also didn't get any sarcasm. I took it as "DUH! Good point, I'll ask".

Ditto. Yes, you are being too sensitive.

Thritto - I wouldn't give it another thought.

 

[AmeliaG]

Well it turns out neither one of us knows this couple THAT well so I'm not going to worry about it.

My friend made an interesting observation. If she had said the same thing to me or I to her, it would have been sarcastic (or as we prefer to think of it, ironic) mainly because the topic wouldn't have come up except maybe for my Japanese acquaintance who loves the good sushi bars in NY because they are so much less expensive here than in Tokyo.

But we generally save our sarcasm for those who know us well. Else it gets misinterpreted.

 

[minousbijoux]

Tell us how the dinner goes - please report back!

 

[Dreamer_D]

You are being over sensitive.

 

[swingirl]

I don't think it was sarcastic at all. My SIL said when she lived in England for awhile everyone invited her over for hamburgers and cheesecake, which they thought was the American food she missed most. So it's an easy assumption to make and your suggestion was perfectly appropriate.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

She just didn't think of your suggestion. I had a japanese guest as well, and he too couldn't get enough of fish and sushi because it was so much cheaper here. he had fish for breakfast. You don't even have to answer the e-mail.

Annette