Advice on Vintage Tiffany

[SouthernSunset]

Bear with me rocky talk! I normally lust over colored stones, however due to circumstance I have stumbled naively into the world of diamonds. Also forgive me if what I'm about to ask is sacrilege lol.

My SO comes from a jewelry lovin' lineage, so now that we've finally gotten down to some serious engagement and wedding talk, we decided that for now the best option would be to go with an inherited engagement ring. His mother offered up to him a variety of heirlooms to choose from for a ring. My boyfriend has made his choice, and now we are faced with the typical hierloom options, keep it original or reset it to our tastes. The dilemma is that the ring he's chosen is a vintage Tiffany.

Unfortunately, I know almost nothing about the actual ring other than SO's teasingly vague verbatim description of 'all out pimp my ride big ass ring' (he's not normally a man of so many words, lol) That's all I have to go on really as SO is a bit traditional in that he wants what the ring looks like to be a surprise. So here's why we can't decide what to do.


1) I really really really am not fond at all of knife edge solitaires. Like really. I would never buy one for myself. Just a personal taste thing, but I've never been moved by one. Seeing as this is the most common style of Tiffany's, you can see why I would lean towards resetting.
2) But... Vintage... While I don't know much, I know based on which family member it was passed down from it dates from late 1930's to 1980's. I know that doesn't narrow the style down much, lol, but in that time frame there are some styles I REALLY adore.
3) But... Value... Here is where I could use the sharp diamond insight here. Do tiffany antiques retain higher value than similarly spec'd non-tiffany? I have heard that they do and have heard they are valued the same as any other, but never really from anyone who would know what they're talking about. There's a practical side of me that feels aghast at causing an item to lose value.
4) SO seems keen on change. He acts like he'd really like to reset it. We have fairly similar tastes in jewelry styles, something I learned from quizzing him over endless photo collages of jewelry. If he thinks I'd enjoy it better reset I trust his opinion. He and his family don't seem to have any emotional attachment to the heirloom as it is in its current state either.


Our options are to
A) reset before an official proposal.
B) don't change it at all and
C) reset it after proposal, though this probably wouldn't be for a few years.

I'm so torn, and keep wavering back and forth. so I'd really welcome opinions, advice and any information that you have to offer. Also thanks for taking the time to read my verbose saga! Lol.

 

[JulieN]

Yes, you will loose a lot of value if you alter the Tiffany piece. Hard to say much, though, since you have no details on the piece

 

[MarionC]

Yes, you will loose a lot of value if you alter the Tiffany piece. Hard to say much, though, since you have no details on the piece

+1
I would be hesitant to reset. In general the brand setting can add up to 40% to the value of the diamond.
Have it appraised and discuss it with the appraiser before you consider the reset.

 

[little_birdie]

My opinion:
I would not make plans to reset it yet, you haven't seen the ring, you may find that it's a design you absolutely love and isn't a knife edge at all.
If you don't love it then you can go about changing it at a later stage.

 

[RandG]

When you're ready, I would take it to Tiffany for servicing. While there, talk to them about options for a re-set, should you decide you want something different. They often will not do it, unless they can verify it's one of their pieces, but if you have a serial number or paperwork, you're golden. I don't know if its still a requirement, but to trade up, you have to spend two times the original purchase price of the ring, which shouldn't be hard if the ring is quite old.

A vintage Tiffany ring, particularly one with some "bling" factor has goof value on the secondary market. It would be a shame to not keep it in tact, or work with Tiffany to re-purpose the stone in one of their signature settings. Would love to see it when you have it! Congratulations. Very exciting!

 

[tyty333]

I would reset it to what I wanted and keep the Tiffany setting in case you want to sell/upgrade in the future. That way you
can put the "Tiffany" ring back together and have its true value.

Not understanding how you can change the setting before proposal but if you do it afterwards then it wont happen for a couple
of years? I dont think you should be stuck wearing something that is not "you".

However, I think you should wait to see what the Tiffany ring is. It may not be a knife edge setting. That's just a guess right
now, right?

 

[SirGuy]

Well, this sounds like a tricky one. Not just for the practical and financial reasons the others mentioned, but for the relationship as well.

If you'll permit me to address it briefly from one man's perspective.

Women are generally a mystery to us. Now, I don't mean women's intentions or feelings are unknown, but rather just veiled sometimes in multiple layers of, "Will she like it, or not, and why?"

An engagement ring is one of the very few genuine surprises the man can give to his future wife. Men are used to this sort of conversation, in a good-natured eye roll sort of way:

Man: "What do you want, honey?"
Woman: "I don't want to have to tell you, I want you to already know and perfectly surprise me with the right thing!"
Man: "Well, give me a hint in the right direction."
Woman: "I'll know it when I see it."

Oh boy.

Now, to some men, there's a lot of nervousness wrapped up in the ring selection and the proposal. This may be for a few reasons simultaneously. One, the proposal itself is really the man putting it out there that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Even though they've probably talked about it, some tiny part of his brain is worrying, "What if she says no?"

The second part related to that is this: he might be worried that she could say no because of the ring. Awful but true! The selection of the ring represents a very specific choice amongst countless thousands of variations of style. Split shank or solid? Pavé or smooth? Round brilliant or dozens of others?

And from there, the ring represents that he (a) is so connected and in tune with what she wants, and (b) executed it perfectly without guidance, that they're meant to be together, because he understands her so ideally that the ring is everything she wanted without being asked.

Okay, now, that's in a perfect world. Sometimes that can happen.

However, an open dialogue is also a sign of a great relationship. There are financial considerations here as mentioned above.

But that aside, there's something so fun and romantic about being surprised by the ring. Is it as magical to you if he opens that little box and you think, "Yeah, I saw that two days ago?" Worst case you can always reexamine it later for changes or resetting.

You wrote that you have similar tastes in jewelry and you trust him. Consider letting him have his moment. It's a lot of pressure and trust involved for him to do this right for you. Believe me, he's a little nervous about doing it right for you.

Love is about open communication, and it is also about trust. Are these mutually exclusive? Not at all. You can always reset the ring later. You can't reset the surprise.

 

[junebug17]

I would at least wait and see the ring first - who knows, you might end up loving it! You don't know it's the knife-edge style (but since your SO is so adamant that you won't like it, maybe it is) I guess I'm a bit of a purist, but I think it would be a shame to break apart a Tiffany ring and I wouldn't do it unless it could be reset into one of their other settings. Ultimately, it's your ring and you can do what you like with it, but that's my personal feeling.

I'm also confused - in one part of your post you talk about resetting prior to the proposal , but then you mention that you'd have to wait a few years

eta: forgot to mention that according to what I've read on PS, the value of the ring will be effected if you reset.

 

[pregcurious]

Yes, you will effect its value.

Wait until you see it. If you don't like it, or if it is too blingy, I would only wear the ring on special occasions at first. If the style is not what you like, I would consider a reset. If it's too blingy, I would keep it intact and only wear it on special occasions.

If you don't like it for whatever reason (waiting to reset, or only keeping it as a special blingy ring) you can ask for some stacking bands to wear everyday. Stackers are great to switch around depending on your mood, they don't snag on clothing and can be worn in winter with gloves, and they are comfortable to wear everyday.

 

[Travelgal]

Does the ring have sentimental value to your fiancé or his family? I would also take that into consideration before making a final determination. I have several girlfriends whose moms reset family heirlooms in the 80s and they regretted it within 10 years- not only because styles change but they missed the symbolism/sentimental value the original ring had when they had their own daughters. At a minimum, I would keep the original setting if you do choose reset the center stone. I am so happy my aunt did that with her reset as the original setting is totally cool mid century retro and she's been talking about going back to her original.

 

[SouthernSunset]

Thanks for the great advice everyone! I appreciate it.

The value was my biggest concern. It's difficult to shut down the practical part of my brain, lol. Although a part of me does cringe at the thought of resetting something as well known as a tiffany. SO was on the heels of starting the reset process last week till I gasped and asked him to wait lol.

As far as the waiting to reset post proposal - finances. The ring is a gift from his parents, and his grandmother wanted to pay to reset it if we chose too. He was planning to foot the bill himself originally, but we've had quite the shake up with our household in recent months and I think she wanted to contribute since she did similarly for a cousin of his recently. With her being so generous we didn't want to turn her down now, just to turn around in a few months and say 'Hey, never mind, can we have that money now?' Haha. No one in the family is emotionally attached, at least from what they've said to SO, the fact they are so willing to help change it if we want to does somewhat worry me though. (joking)

A post reset would be up in the air, just based on how business is the next few years. It could be very soon or quite a few years. Either way I think waiting for now might be the best option. Who knows, maybe even if it is a knife edge setting, it might grow on me. What's the old proverb about Beggars and choosers? In the mean time I'll poke around these boards so maybe I won't sound like an idiot talking about it once I have it!

 

[junebug17]

Ah, ok, I get your dilemma - too bad your SO won't let you take a quick peek at this ring, I know it's not traditional but there are extenuating circumstances here lol! It really would help if you knew what it looked like.

This is a tough one, and there's really no right or wrong - we can offer our opinions, but at the end of the day it's your ering and you'll be the one wearing it so it's important that you love it - ultimately it's your decision - I don't know, just go with your gut and do what you think will make you the happiest. You're just dealing with some unknowns here - you don't know what the Tiffany ring looks like, and you don't know what kind of reset your SO has in mind. But it's important to some men to retain an element of surprise.

As for value, I'm a bit out of my league on this one, but I guess retaining the value of the ring really only matters if you were planning to sell the Tiff ring down the road.

 

[LGK]

While I am a big "save the antiques!" purist, in this case, I would say go ahead and reset it if you can keep the original setting intact and safe. Sure, it's not as valuable without the brand name attached but as long as you preserve the original, wear it in something else awhile and see if the original grows on you later.

Regarding the knife edge setting... I have never, ever been a plain solitaire girl either. But that particular setting looks mighty nice with a big stack of eternity bands!