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Advice on how to proceed...

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Porridge

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
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Hey all. My darling FI worked really hard to surprise me with my engagement ring before Christmas (original (and long!
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) story here!) Anywho, it''s almost exactly what I wanted, he even got a bigger and better stone than he originally let on, but...

...there are two teeny problems with the ring, and I''m not sure how to go about fixing them. First, it''s a replica of the Tiffany solitaire with channel set rounds in the band. The problem is that the band is over 4mm thick instead of the 3mm width of the Tiffany one. There''s just too much metal there for me...so I want to get a mm or so shaven off. That should be pretty easy, right? Also, one of the north/south prongs is off centre. Is this easy to fix too?

FI is stressed with work at the moment, and he went to so much trouble to surprise me with the ring, and do all the research on the diamond, that I don''t want to make him feel like he didn''t do a good enough job. They are only little things after all, but they will bug me til I fix them
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I''m thinking of just ringing the jeweler (in NY) and asking what she can do. If I have to send it back to them, I can tell FI I''m getting in resized, cos I''ve lost weight recently. Or maybe the jeweler knows someone near me here in CA, and I won''t have to send it off.

Or maybe I should just tell FI...

What would you do in this situation?
 
The resizing bit is a good idea! and AWESOME JOB LOSING THE WEIGHT! and if the prong is off center, that will bug ya... so go ahead and get it fixed. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT! wow... so many happy happy things!
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I''d tell him. He might notice the difference in width and then you''d really be up sh*ts creek without a paddle if you didn''t tell him first...
 
Shaving down 1mm from the sides of a channel set ring may not be possible. The sides of the channel are what are holding in the diamonds. You can only remove so much. Your jeweler should be able to tell you how much thinner they can take it, before you have to remake a new setting.
 
I usually say honesty, honesty, honesty, when it comes to communicating with your partner, but maybe, since your changes are small and you don't want to burden your FI while he's stressed, a teensy white lie in this case. Let your DH know that you're taking in your ring in for sizing, and then you can say that while you were there, you talked to the jeweler and he noticed that the prong was off (the jeweler should fix this anyway) and then you tried on wedding bands and didn't like the width, so the jeweler suggested taking off a mm off the e-ring...something along these lines. This way, it sounds like you were just doing some minor upkeeping in consultation with your jeweler rather than wanting to "fix" the ring that your FI so lovingly chose. :)

ETA: Grr..I just read closer and noticed the coastal issue. Maybe just ring up the jeweler and inquire, then discuss possibilities with DH.
 
I think even if you are completely honest with him, its all in how you phrase it. For example "I had them fix the prong because I was worried the beautiful ring you bought me might get damaged" and "I had them shave the sides down a bit so it would be more comfortable to wear, because I want to always wear it but didn''t realize it would be uncomfortable with that much metal" or something along those lines. Something that makes clear that you love the ring, and are thrilled he went to so much trouble, you are just making these minor tweaks not to change what he bought you in any fundamental way, but so that you can enjoy it even more than you already do
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Great advice ladies, thank you
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I''m going to ring the jeweler tomorrow and see what she says, then I''ll know best what to do. tlh what a sweetie you are, your post made me excited and happy all over again!
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I''ll let ye know how it goes, and there will be a photoshoot over in SMTR when it''s all over!!
 
Congrats on your engagement! I know well the sinking feeling of not having everything perfect on a special ring, and I hope this goes smoothly for you. The issue of the crooked prong shouldn''t be a big deal, provided it''s not weakened or compromised, and I''d have no problem getting that fixed without mentioning it to FI. However, the width of the shank is not something you can easily change, and I would be surprised if you could even have that done, especially given the channel setting. Do you have any pics? I''d love to see it.
 
I called the jewelers and she said I could ship it and she thought it would be no problem. Yippee! I''m going to go with the resizing story, and FI can continue being proud of the wonderful job he did. Here are some fuzzy pics - unfortunately my camera was stolen a few weeks ago, so I don''t think they''ll be very clear, but maybe you''ll get an idea...It''s too blurry to see the lopsided prong, but that won''t be around much longer
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Another...

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Last little box of fuzz
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Thanks for sharing those pics Porridge - glad to hear it sounds like it will work out well for everyone
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