Advice needed...spacer or no?

[sjrock]

So in February I bought a beautiful band from the super sweet Gypsy on DB . I wanted something not matchy matchy at all (probably weird, I know!) that I could also wear alone that would have some presence on my hand. Since it's a shared prong band, I figured I would need a spacer, so I *finally* bought one anddddd.... I HATE IT!

Sooo...I need advice! Does it look that bad? (I feel like I'm used to how invisible most peoples' on here look...but I think that's a combo of bigger center stones and thinner spacers) Do I really need a spacer? Should I just scrap the diamond band as a wedding band idea and buy a plain wedding band? (maybe like this from e-wedding bands? http://www.e-weddingbands.com/store/product89697.html). I'm just so frustrated & was thinking the experts here could help me out!

I'm going to attach a bunch of pictures, but before I do, here are the stats: My ER is a 1.227 L SI1 (with strong blue fluorescence!) from BGD in a sleek micro pave with milgrain setting. The band is shared prong, 11 diamonds .50 total carat. The spacer is from Seashores on Etsy and is 1.5mm wide unplated white gold. I've got big hands...my ER is a size 8!

 

[sjrock]

Here are some shots with the spacer:

 

[Enerchi]

Its a lovely combination! I would suggest a spacer only if you can see the girdles of the band, rubbing against the ering. Diamonds will scratch the metal and a spacer will prevent that.

I got mine from DanielM on etsy, but Joelle (also on etsy) makes very thin ones as well. Try a .75mm or a 1mm to see what you think.

 

[sjrock]

Thanks, Enerchi! I'm not married yet (soon, though!) and so I have only tried the band on a few times, so I'm not sure how much it will/would rub, if that makes any sense? I don't notice the rings as squished up together when I try it on, but I would imagine with movement, they would. I'm just scared to not have one and then my setting gets ruined when I should've known better. Maybe I will try ordering one of the much thinner ones and see how it goes. Thanks for your help!

 

[Enerchi]

No problem! My guess is that the diamond girdles on your band will rub - the prongs are set inline and the girdles go past that, so over time, I would imagine there will be rubbing. One wearing won't destroy your band... but over time, you'll see signs.

An ounce of prevention, as the saying goes....

 

[Mico]

can you maybe try a 1mm or .75mm spacer? those are the ones i'm looking into. Yours seems too wide for my tastes

 

[minmin001]

I bought a spacer and hate the look as well so I just decide to wear the wedding band as the RHR.

 

[motownmama]

It doesn't work for me. I'd try thinner, and much closer to the width of your other 2 bands - I don't like the way it dips in and out from the top view.

 

[tyty333]

I wonder if you can send it back and get them to turn it into a 1mm or a .75mm. May not be as visible.

 

[Dougsgirl]

It doesn't work for me. I'd try thinner, and much closer to the width of your other 2 bands - I don't like the way it dips in and out from the top view.

I agree with this. Something about the shape of the spacer (it seems "rounder" than the other rings) and because it is not as wide (I'm talking about from the inside of the band to the outside of the band) it makes it look a little bit like the filling inside an Oreo cookie.
I agree that the spacer should be thinner, but should also match the "shape" of the other bands if possible. So that when you look down at your hand, all three rings stick out the same distance from your finger.

I think the e-ring and the diamond band are beautiful! And I think if you get the right spacer it will be great. I also think they look awesome without the spacer, but you don't want to risk damage. I'm sure you will be able to find something that you are happy with.

Good luck!

 

[sjrock]

No problem! My guess is that the diamond girdles on your band will rub - the prongs are set inline and the girdles go past that, so over time, I would imagine there will be rubbing. One wearing won't destroy your band... but over time, you'll see signs.

An ounce of prevention, as the saying goes....

My mom wears a thin shared prong band next to her solitaire and it has eaten pretty badly into the prongs (she has a 6 prong though). I keep telling her that she should look into a different setting, but she says it's not that bad ...so I know what you mean!

 

[sjrock]

Thank you everyone for all of your replies! I'm so happy that I'm not the only one who thinks it doesn't look good! I was worried that maybe I was making a mountain out of a molehill

It doesn't work for me. I'd try thinner, and much closer to the width of your other 2 bands - I don't like the way it dips in and out from the top view.

I agree with this. Something about the shape of the spacer (it seems "rounder" than the other rings) and because it is not as wide (I'm talking about from the inside of the band to the outside of the band) it makes it look a little bit like the filling inside an Oreo cookie.
I agree that the spacer should be thinner, but should also match the "shape" of the other bands if possible. So that when you look down at your hand, all three rings stick out the same distance from your finger.

I think the e-ring and the diamond band are beautiful! And I think if you get the right spacer it will be great. I also think they look awesome without the spacer, but you don't want to risk damage. I'm sure you will be able to find something that you are happy with.

Good luck!

Motownmama & Dougsgirl - LOL @ the Oreo cookie comment!!! I think it "dips" a bit b/c my ER was sliding slightly over it...! My ring is a smidge too big, but not big enough to fall off, and fits well in the summer when my hands swell, so I didn't have it sized. It's definitely not as high as my other rings (understatement of the year!) I didn't really pay attention to the height when I bought it b/c I thought it'd be barely visible that it wouldn't matter...I guess I thought wrong! I'm glad they look okay together..my mom just about had a heart attack that I wasn't buying a matching band, LOL!

I bought a spacer and hate the look as well so I just decide to wear the wedding band as the RHR.

Minmin - I was thinking about doing this, but I think I'll try a different spacer first

I wonder if you can send it back and get them to turn it into a 1mm or a .75mm. May not be as visible.

Thanks, tyty! I'm going to email the seller and see what they say...

can you maybe try a 1mm or .75mm spacer? those are the ones i'm looking into. Yours seems too wide for my tastes

Mico-I agree with you! I bought this one b/c I didn't want to spend the $300+ on the one from ravens refuge I really like. I think it's a case of "it's only a good deal if you're getting exactly what you want"!

 

[yssie]

Try rose gold? It often blends into the skin better, looks less visible - and what is visible looks deliberate...?

 

[petit_bijou]

Mico-I agree with you! I bought this one b/c I didn't want to spend the $300+ on the one from ravens refuge I really like. I think it's a case of "it's only a good deal if you're getting exactly what you want"!

I think I know the one you're talking about, and was about to link it here! Is it the knife edge with milgrain? Even though that one's also 1.5mm wide, I think the style and width(/height?) would blend with your set really nicely, and would also make a nice tie-in between the feel of your e-ring and the non-matching band. You could also ask her if she could make it in a 1mm, and from what her policy indicates I think you'd still be able to return it if you weren't happy with the outcome...

Otherwise, a .75 rose gold band may be the least intrusive way to go (possibly brushed/hammered or some kind of subtle texture so that the sleek-ness of it doesn't interrupt the flow between your two rings quite as much? Don't know if that makes any sense... it seemed better in my head

 

[yssie]

Otherwise, a .75 rose gold band may be the least intrusive way to go (possibly brushed/hammered or some kind of subtle texture so that the sleek-ness of it doesn't interrupt the flow between your two rings quite as much? Don't know if that makes any sense... it seemed better in my head

Makes total sense to me - is in fact exactly why I chose a small rose gold spacer with a hammered finish.

 

[sjrock]

Mico-I agree with you! I bought this one b/c I didn't want to spend the $300+ on the one from ravens refuge I really like. I think it's a case of "it's only a good deal if you're getting exactly what you want"!

I think I know the one you're talking about, and was about to link it here! Is it the knife edge with milgrain? Even though that one's also 1.5mm wide, I think the style and width(/height?) would blend with your set really nicely, and would also make a nice tie-in between the feel of your e-ring and the non-matching band. You could also ask her if she could make it in a 1mm, and from what her policy indicates I think you'd still be able to return it if you weren't happy with the outcome...

Otherwise, a .75 rose gold band may be the least intrusive way to go (possibly brushed/hammered or some kind of subtle texture so that the sleek-ness of it doesn't interrupt the flow between your two rings quite as much? Don't know if that makes any sense... it seemed better in my head

Petit_bijou: Yes, that one!! I've been drooling over it for a while now, it's so gorgeous & the milgrain would match! Do you know if there are any pictures of that on here? I've searched a bunch of times, and thought for sure there was one, but it was a plain platinum spacer from ravens refuge instead. I messaged the original etsy vendor to see what they would do for me, and if they'll allow the return, I might just bite the bullet and buy this instead.

The rose gold is an interesting option..I don't have any rose gold, so I don't know how well it works with my skin tone. I wish I lived where there were more jewelry stores so I could go try different things on and get a good idea of what would/wouldn't work! And what you said makes total sense!

Yssie - maybe I'll try to find an etsy seller with a good return policy so I could try out a rose gold band too, thanks for the advice!

 

[petit_bijou]

I haven't seen any photos of it on PS, but maybe you could ask the vendor to take a hand shot between two rings for you? In my mind it would be perfect with your set- the polished sides with milgrain combine aspects of both rings, and would make such an appropriate transition. It wouldn't "disappear" as much as it would just "go" with your set and help them seem like they belong together.

If you are going for more of an invisible look, then I suggest trying the rose gold option first.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I have a .75mm rose gold spacer with platinum rings. It does blend well into my skin (I'm Asian) and is pretty discreet, but that might also be partly due to my wedding and engagement rings and how the spacer fits under my three stone trellis kind of neatly.

I have another ring similar to your ering so I tried it on with a marquise-round band and I do think the spacer was more visible. I can try to take a pic tonight or this weekend if you'd be interested.

 

[sjrock]

I have a .75mm rose gold spacer with platinum rings. It does blend well into my skin (I'm Asian) and is pretty discreet, but that might also be partly due to my wedding and engagement rings and how the spacer fits under my three stone trellis kind of neatly.

I have another ring similar to your ering so I tried it on with a marquise-round band and I do think the spacer was more visible. I can try to take a pic tonight or this weekend if you'd be interested.

Hi, Logan Sapphire! Thank you so much for your feedback! Photos would be really helpful, I'd love to see them when you get a chance! Thanks so much!

 

[Enerchi]

Hi sjrock,
I have photos in 2 threads on the SMTB forums - "Finally, she is here, my BGD reset" as well as "New DanielM DBTY necklace, RG spacer, ring" and if you search under my name, you can see pics of my RG spacer that DanielM made for me. Its 14K RG and it is wonderful!

I can not post pics from here - and having internet trouble, so going by memory on the thread names, but hope that helps interms of viewing another RG spacer option. I think I mentioned much earlier to try the .75 or 1mm size. Mine is a tad over 1mm. (HTH if you can get to the threads - just search my name)

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Sjrock- sorry for the delay (dealing with sick kiddo at home). I took a few pics of my spacer with a similar ring to yours, though my center stone is .51 ct, so smaller than yours.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

And here is the ring sans spacer, and two shots of it with my engagement ring/wedding ring. I think it seems to disappear more with my ering/wring.