Adoptive Sibling Information Help Needed PLEASE!

[oshinbreez]

I need a lot of advice about what to should do.

David is the oldest of 6 kids. When he was little, his mother left, and he lived with an aunt for a few years. When his father was able, he took David back and raised him.

Within the past several years, he found his half brothers and sisters. One brother is now deceased. He also knows that he has another half sister they haven''t found yet. Ohio''s records are private.

Since David''s dad passed away, he found a letter written to his father that gave us the name of the sister he''s looking for and her adoptive families name and area where they lived at the time.

I''ve been doing a lot of searching on my own and have others doing a lot of searching to find her, without much luck. Then Sunday, I started looking at high school reunion sites and thought I''d look to see if she was listed for the school I thought she went to and the range of years she would have graduated. One site people could make their email addy public, so I decided to contact someone who went to the same school, but graduated a few years before. Yesterday, she emailed me back after looking through her alumni directory and gave me a married last name for his sister.

I now have a potential spouse for her and an address and phone number.

Should I call them, or send a letter so if it is the right people and if they want to contact David they want?

 

[sumbride]

I would suggest a letter. Phone calls can be hard to take when it is news like that. Does she even know she has a half-brother? That may be more than a little shocking via a phone call. Send a letter, send pictures, and your phone number. And good luck!

 

[Kaleigh]

I think a letter is the better way to go. Phone calls like this can be so awkward and uncomforatable. A letter is easier to digest, etc... I think David should be writing the letter...

 

[Independent Gal]

I echo Sumbride. A letter, with pics and number, is the way to go. A letter is less sudden. You wonder about the handwriting. You slowly, physically, open it. You can read it at your own pace, digest the news, re-read it. Just feels more appropriate for this kind of news (if it is news).

And pics will make her feel more like it''s all real and these are warm real nice loving people that she can have as family if she wants them.

 

[oshinbreez]

Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it.

I think she knows she has half siblings. David found out from an aunt that she got in contact with his father back in the 60''s to give her away at her wedding. Her adopted father was deceased and David''s dad was named on the birth certificate, but, he wasn''t her biological father.

I just got info on another possible spouse for his sister. That''s what''s so hard, we don''t know her husband''s first name, or it they''re even still married.

Sending pics is a great idea. I''ll have to find some to send.

Also, should I send a copy of the letter the lawyer sent his dad about needing his permission for the sis to get adopted?

 

[Logan Sapphire]

It sounds great! I would echo Kaleigh''s thoughts that David should be the one to write and contact her though. As an adoptee myself, that''s my gut feeling...

Good luck!

 

[oshinbreez]

I think I should clarify. I don''t know where his sister is yet. We do know what her married last name is or atleast was. There are now about 10 people that I need to contact to see if they can give me the information about how to get in touch with his sister.

 

[luckystar112]

Yeah...hmmm...I would call, or wait until you find out more info before you send a letter. The last thing you want is 9 random people thinking they have a sibling! lol. At least if you call you''ll know right away if you have the right person.

 

[oshinbreez]

Date: 7/25/2007 12:31:42 AM
Author: luckystar112
Yeah...hmmm...I would call, or wait until you find out more info before you send a letter. The last thing you want is 9 random people thinking they have a sibling! lol. At least if you call you''ll know right away if you have the right person.

The names of the people I need to contact would be related to the sister by marriage....either spouse, brothers in law, sisters in law, cousins. etc. All I got was a married last name. Her adopted name was too common to locate her since we don''t even know for sure even what year she was born.

The people with the sisters married last name are just in the area of where she graduated HS....not even the school she went to. I am looking at people with the married last name that graduated within 10 years of the sister''s graduation year.

So that''s why I''m having a hard time figuring out what to do. If I KNEW they know her, I''d send a letter. I don''t know if they know her or not....but I feel that they''re probably related.

 

[oshinbreez]

Any more ideas?