shape
carat
color
clarity

A moment of silence

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

Girls-best-friend

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 21, 2003
Messages
136
Is anyone going to have the names of the loved ones who have passed on be read( if there are not too many) and then have a moment of silence afterward. If yes during what part of the ceremony will you be doing this? If no but might consider it when would you do it? Any other thoughts?


Thanks
35.gif
 

JessesGrl

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 26, 2005
Messages
524
I wanted to do this but my fiance said it was too sad and depressing..so we are lighting candles instead. I would have done it after the readings, before our vows
 

AndyRosse

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 25, 2004
Messages
4,363
I would ask your officiant.
 

MINE!!

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 25, 2005
Messages
3,287
hmmmmm.... I think the lighting candle thing would be a good idea. I know that someone I loved passed away and knew that I was reading their names at my wedding.. they would be pretty teed off. I know that I would. For me... I would be upset that may name was read allowed to honor my passing, on a day that should be honoring life. I think that it would be more of a personal esxperience, between yourself and the memories of those who passed....
 

MissAva

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 6, 2005
Messages
8,230
What about a nice poem in your program instead? I wam with MINE this is aday devoted to life and new begginings. Also it might be awkward for guests who dont know/have never heard of those who have passed adn then see the person sitting next to them cry....
 

fountainfairfax

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 4, 2005
Messages
1,199
Many, many years ago, when I was right out of high school, I attended a large Catholic wedding where the bride''s brother had passed away a few years before. All these years later I still remember how sad it was when his name was mentioned during the ceremony (more than once) as "Maria''s departed brother Joseph".

When my sister & bro-in-law got married both of his parents were deceased, with his mother having died within a couple of years of the wedding. They debated for awhile about either doing the candle, or having a moment of silence or leaving chairs empty. In the end, they decided it was just too sad on such a happy day and did nothing official (I think my sister wore a piece of his mother''s jewelry and maybe a relative said a prayer before the groomsmen went to the wedding site.) The day following the wedding (since they had left for the honeymoon) I took some flowers from the wedding to the cemetery for them and gave a little synopsis of the happy day to whoever was there listening
2.gif
.
 

jellybean

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 16, 2005
Messages
624
My dad died about after a month after I met my husband. We said his name (along with my husband''s grandparents names and my uncle''s name) during the intentions section of the ceremony. We weren''t sure if we should do it but we wanted to "formally" recognize them.

A few of my husband''s parents'' friends who did not know that my father had passed away told my MIL they were glad we said it b/c they wondered where he was.

It didn''t make the ceremony too sad. We had candles lit at the back of the church for them too.
 

njc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 10, 2004
Messages
1,997
We will have a single candle and a small flower arrangement sitting in a window sill and in the program it will say that its "for those that could not be here".
 

Rube

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 11, 2005
Messages
323
We had the same questions when talking with our minister.

Our ceremony has a part for "those who can be here only in spirit" before the readings. Our minister said this would include anyone who has passed (my fiance''s father), grandparents, people who just could not fly out to be with us, as well as people who got lost on the way...
32.gif
. He also let us know that if we left names out, the guests would have that moment to think of anyone they would like to remember, and we would not have to worry about accidently excluding anyone.



On a side note though... this caused a LOT of family problems with fiance''s mother and sister who were APPALLED that we would not mention J''s father in the ceremony.

So, to each his own. I suppose it can be approached in many ways. I think the candle is a beautiful idea.
 

beautifuldisaster

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
129
I want to honor my fiancee''s parents who have both passed away. I am getting married by the beach, so I will not have an altar. Any ideas on where I could put a floral arrangement/candle to honor them?

Thanks!
 

soulsis

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 21, 2004
Messages
317
At my wedding we lit a candle just after my dad gave me away...then the minister explained what was going on. It was nice.
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Be a part of the community Get 3 HCA Results
Top