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Q for parents with two infants going to daycare...

Dancing Fire

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is it worth paying for daycare or for one of the parent to stay at home caring for the two infants? I guess it depends on how much mom/dad takes home per month? how much does it cost for two infants?

The Q came to my mind b/c my wife is taking care of our grandson since DD#2 returned to work this week after 2 month of maternity leave and she also will be caring for our granddaughter when DD#1 returns to work in Aug. Their situation is different b/c grandma daycaring cost zippo...:lol:
 

december-fire

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They are very fortunate!
when my children were very young, my childcare for the 2 of them was more than my mortgage.
 

Snowdrop13

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2 months maternity leave? That’s not enough, surely??

My childcare was also more than the mortgage when mine were under 3, after that some of it was subsidised (here in good old socialist Europe.....).
 

redwood66

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@Dancing Fire it was a decision that was made for us. DH got laid off from his well paying construction job 1 month before our twins were born. We decided that one of us being there was more important than him going back to work (and us paying astronomical daycare for two babies) so he stayed home for 18 months. That was an eye opener for him for sure. I was back at work in 8 weeks. We are so glad we made the decision though. Your grandchildren and daughters are lucky to have grandma there and able to help.
 

YadaYadaYada

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If I had kept working with my first son I would have taken home $1000 a month, so for us daycare wasn't worth it and I stayed home. No regrets but there are huge sacrifices made in either instance.
 

december-fire

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If I had kept working with my first son I would have taken home $1000 a month, so for us daycare wasn't worth it and I stayed home. No regrets but there are huge sacrifices made in either instance.

Thank you for this!

I get annoyed by silly 'stay at home' versus 'work outside the home' debates.
Not a competition, not a one-size-fits-all. :nono:
 

kmarla

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I’m waaaay past the years of daycare, but it was always expensive. The average cost now where I live is $1200 CAD ($950 US) per month per child. So it can take a huge chunk of your pay check, especially if there is more than one child in daycare. You also pay whether the child attends or is absent on vacation/sick etc. It’s always a personal decision about what choice to make though, and there’s no right or wrong. Your daughters are very lucky!!
 

Ally T

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My daughters are both older now & at school (ages 7 & almost 9), but when I had my first, I consciously decided to stop working & be at home. My career often took me away and I didn't want to have children & then disappear, letting somebody else raise them. We had to tighten our belts a little, but it worked out for us. The cost for full time Nursery back then if I recall was also more than our mortgage payments.

I also refuse to be drawn into the stay-at-home versus working-mother debate. I have a very career orientated SIL who has two children the same ages as mine, but spends her life working away. Financially, she doesn't need to as my brother has a very well paid job, but this is her choice & I'm all about the freedom of choice. Her endless digs at me over the years of "maybe you should get yourself a little job so you don't go rusty" or "you're just lazy wanting to stay at home with the girls" have only driven a wedge between us with time. I respect her decision, she should respect mine. Whilst I realise some women don't have a choice, those that do shouldn't be judged for it.

And as a side note, my girls are healthy, happy, thoughtful & loving children. My nieces are angry, throw tantrums, one refuses to sleep in her own room & still sleeps in with her parents & they both have behaviour issues at school. All children are different of course, and I am not labelling, but one of my nieces has come to me for cuddles in the past when I have offered to have them during school holidays (for which SIL is always very grateful, of course. No digs at me there...) & openly said "I wish you were my mummy. You are always here so X & Y can have mummy cuddles whenever they like. I don't even know if my mummy will be there when I get up each morning, or if she's already left to catch a flight for a meeting." Broke. My. Heart.
 

Austina

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When I had mine it was £25 a week!! :-o

I didn’t go back to work as my husband worked very long hours and was away on business a lot, and we decided it was better for our child to have at least have one full time parent.

Also got all the ‘easy option’ ‘lazy option’ carp :roll
 

baby monster

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DF, daycare costs are very regional. If you really want to know how much it'll cost by you, call up a few places. There's no discount usually for 2, btw.

In my area, no one takes infants. Too much liability. Most places start taking 2 year olds but a few take 1 year olds. Prices range from 800 to 2500 per month depending on location and staffing. Before that, it's either grandma or full-time nanny which is even more expensive.
 

azstonie

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Back in the Stone Age, when I was teaching, the science of Ed calibrated that the core of a person is created during the first 3 years of life: How you handle stress, how you learn, etc.

12 years of teaching showed me the difference btw children who were raised during those years in large institutional daycare centers and children who were raised during those years by either family or a very small daycare setting. It was a big difference in how they were able to learn, process and handle stress, handle their bodies, etc. The amount of time in the daycare setting is a factor also---more kids thrive in a small daycare setting with a limited number of hours there than do kids who are in cattleyards of kids with few attendants and the noise alone would make YOU tear your hair out after 30 minutes. Keep in mind that daycare workers usually make minimum wage---your children learn by mimicking the adults who interact with them.

When parents asked me, my advice was to take the financial hit during the first 3-4 years and have the child in limited hours/daycare if necessary. After that, kids have after school activities and playdates and lessons, etc., that limit the number of hours in loud, intense, controlled settings.

One of the best things about your child being in YOUR home with YOU is they aren't forced to adhere to rigidity before they are psychologically and physically ready to do that. (Assuming 'you' are not a rigid person.)
 

Ally T

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@azstonie I actually put both of my girls into a private Nursery from the age of 1, just for three mornings per week. This helped them hugely with development & also got them used to being around other children, not to mention gave me a bit of sanity as they were born close together & were at times, exhausting. My husband has always worked long hours & is often abroad, so I just needed some time out.

They LOVED their "play dates" & had so much fun! There were many, many tears from both of them when my youngest left for school, as they were both so attached to the staff. One of the Care Leaders is still our babysitter at home, and she engages them in a way I have never been able to, as brilliant as I am!! Very worthwhile & it was a perfect balance for both of them.
 

azstonie

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That was ideal Alex T, good going!!
 

YadaYadaYada

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You also have to factor in the cost of illness, it seems that kids who go to daycare get sick more often than kids that stay home. So that means a trip to the doctor, one parent has to take time off from work for the appointment and when they are sick and all of that adds up.

There are all these costs that go into working, higher car insurance with a commute, clothing, meals out etc. On the flip side when our son was a newborn there were nights we were eating cereal for dinner so it's no vacation but you can cut lots of corners to get by.
 

Dancing Fire

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2 months maternity leave? That’s not enough, surely??

My childcare was also more than the mortgage when mine were under 3, after that some of it was subsidised (here in good old socialist Europe.....).
Ooops, I meant to say 4.5 months. Baby was born on Oct. 6. She started her new job just about the time she got pregnant so not much time save up.
 

MaisOuiMadame

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DF, congrats to your family for being able to care for them at home. And kudos to your wife!

Echoing @StephanieLynn about the sick times.
People (including our pediatrician) always told me that kids are sick A LOT during their first year of daycare - around 10 times/year. I still underestimated this. DS went to a small and very very nice daycare (still in contact with some of the staff., all fully trained) , but if you do the math it's just normal that they catch MORE infections from 25 kids + 6 teachers (who catch those from their parents and siblings) than they would from mom & dad & grandma.
Usually it meant a week of no daycare for every 4 weeks of daycare.
Legally, here, they cannot and will not take sick kids (as it should be) or kids that are under medication. Think symptom free, but still taking antibiotics, for example.
Hard to explain to your boss...

ETA: Obviously you still pay the daycare during those roughly 10-12 weeks /year... ouch...
 

tyty333

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DF...my mom watched my oldest child when I went back to work. I paid her for it. Worth every penny! Didnt cost me as much as regular day
care and I knew he was getting the best care possible.

Make your kids pay. Do what you want with the money or tuck the money away to give back to them someday (or help pay for the grandkids college).
I dont think they should be getting "free" daycare. Even if you love doing the job, its a big responsibility and very time consuming.
 

LLJsmom

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In the SF area, average $2k/month/infant per infant. Yup 4.5 months counts as an infant. No discounts for 2. And it’s after tax dollars. The FSA is limited $5k/year so helps a little but not much. So that means a person needs to earn about $6500/month pre-tax to make it worth while to work.
 

redwood66

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In the SF area, average $2k/month/infant per infant. Yup 4.5 months counts as an infant. No discounts for 2. And it’s after tax dollars. The FSA is limited $5k/year so helps a little but not much. So that means a person needs to earn about $6500/month pre-tax to make it worth while to work.
Oh my goodness. :cry2:
 

YadaYadaYada

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Yikes, and I thought CT was expensive!
 

whitewave

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Daycare was a nightmare of sickness for us and I eventually quit with the cost of multiple daycare tuitions leaving me with no paycheck. I sure as heck wasn't going to work to pay the daycare bill.
 

Gussie

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My son went to an in-house daycare from 10 months to age 3. He had a loving wonderful caregiver and there were only 5 kids so he got a lot of attention. It really worked out well. It wasn't as expensive as regular daycare. That was in North Carolina. When we moved to Houston when he was 3 and he was diagnosed with leukemia. I couldn't work due to focus on taking care of him. I also had 2 more kids during that time so it just seemed the right thing to do. Lol, I have 3 masters degrees and haven't worked in 12 years! There was a time that I believed it was a sacrifice to stay home. Now I see it for the gift and opportunity it is.
 

Dancing Fire

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Make your kids pay. Do what you want with the money or tuck the money away to give back to them someday (or help pay for the grandkids college).
I dont think they should be getting "free" daycare. Even if you love doing the job, its a big responsibility and very time consuming.
Nahh, we would rather see them put more money into their mortgage each month.
 

Dancing Fire

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In the SF area, average $2k/month/infant per infant. Yup 4.5 months counts as an infant. No discounts for 2. And it’s after tax dollars. The FSA is limited $5k/year so helps a little but not much. So that means a person needs to earn about $6500/month pre-tax to make it worth while to work.
Not much left after taxes minus the cost of two infants in daycare . Everything is so expensive in the Bay area...:knockout: but on the avg they make a lot more $$$ compared to other areas of the country.
 

LLJsmom

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Nahh, we would rather see them put more money into their mortgage each month.

Go ahead and let them give you some money, symbolically. Then take that money and put all of it into a 529 plan for each grandchild. You will be doing them a huge favor. Let them manage their mortgage. With the mortgage rates as low as they are now, they aren’t actually paying that much after you take into account the mortgage interest deduction. The money will make MORE money, achieve a higher return if you invest it into a 529 plan. If you don’t believe me ask your financial advisor.
 

TooPatient

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I had looked into the cost five years or so ago. The cost for infant care (up to two or three years of age) in the Seattle area runs about $2,000-2,500/month but I have heard it has gone up since then. Some centers give a multi child discount of $500 or so per month but it isn't much. That covers just the basic hours each week. Many people need additional time to cover commute times unless they use a center right near their work. There is also no guarantee that both kids will get into the same center unless the parents plan ahead and get on waiting lists early enough. Some places had a year or more wait to get in.

So... by the time you factor in the basic rates plus any extra needed it can be very expensive. For two kids in daycare, it is not uncommon for people to pay $5,000+ each month.

Is it worth it for daycare or does it make more sense to have a parent stay home? It depends! How much do the parents make? What fields do they work in? Will it be a problem for them to be out of work for a few years? There are so many trade offs! It all depends on what is right for each family.
 

FinleysMom

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Why have kids if you are just going to drop them off every day? How sad fir the kids.

FM
 

arkieb1

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It depends how much the daycare costs versus what the family earns and things like do they want to go back to work, can they afford not to go back to work etc.
 

Dancing Fire

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The money will make MORE money, achieve a higher return if you invest it into a 529 plan. If you don’t believe me ask your financial advisor.
Of course they'll tell me that I'll make more $$$ until the stock market crashes...:whistle: Anyhow I don't have a financial advisor.
 
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