My wedding ring isn't what I thought it was - thoughts?

[rubysweettart]

I got engaged in 2006, we suspected I had some metal allergies but didn't really have the money for platinum rings. The online vendor I bought my engagement ring through said it was a palladium alloy and I wouldn't be allergic to it. I didn't have any reactions to it but it was a narrow band so it had little skin contact. When shopping for wedding bands, my ring isn't straight so we went the custom route, found a local jeweler who makes all their rings in their shop, and he had a contoured band that would work. My husband wanted the ring flanked for symmetry and the jeweler said to solder them so they'd hold up better. We brought up the allergy and he said keep them dipped often, they didn't do a palladium mix so it wasn't an option.

When I got my rings, I wanted to wear them all the time, I ended up having awful reactions. I'd end up with a blister all the way around where the band touched my skin so I started wearing it less and less. I had it resized once and it was still uncomfortably tight ("you don't want to lose it!") so I eventually stopped wearing it all together.

8+ years later, for my 10 year anniversary, I decided to get the rings resized so I could wear them again, knowing I'd have to wear them for only short periods of time. After communicating with our jeweler, I was able to convince him to make it a tiny bit looser than he wanted to and he did some special coating in between rhodium dips to help minimize reactions. I've had zero reactions in the few months I have had it - yay!

Last night as I was looking at the inside, because there was a dark spot and I wanted to know if it was dirt or the coating wearing off, and I noticed it looks like one of the wedding bands says "PLAT" but the other says "14k." (I hope the pics show it clearly.) So now I'm confused! I think I remember him showing us that band when discussing the contoured band options but he said he's create 2 in white gold for us because platinum was out of our budget and we already had my white gold engagement ring. Both my wedding bands are a bit different, one sits a tiny bit higher and has some very slight milgrain texture, I assumed it was because they're handmade, and it didn't bug me because it's character and my ring is unique. It's just so odd that I never even thought to look closely at the markings inside.

Now I can't tell my husband any of this because he's a nut who doesn't trust easily and we had a very bad experience with a different local jeweler (resized a platinum band, used the wrong solder, band broke, this jeweler identified the reason it broke and fixed it). Having a jeweler we can trust is very important even though my rings don't even get close to the value of rings I've seen here.

I know a lot of people in here might be bothered by having different rings, should I be? Or just chalk it up to being a bit lucky to have some platinum in there? What are your thoughts? There's no way it would be stamped "PLAT" and be white gold, right?

(Note: my diamonds are pretty white but the top pics were taken in the car, in a wooded area the other day while I was bored)

 

[AprilBaby]

I would assume it’s platinum. Lucky you!

 

[tyty333]

I wonder if he Rhodium plated the plat band to look like the 14k? I would probably be happy to have a more expensive metal. I guess at this point you
cant tell if the Plat band was giving you a reaction?

 

[rubysweettart]

The whole ring was dipped as one piece, but only 1/3 of it could be platinum since it's 3 rings soldered together and 2 bands say 14k. So I assume it would make it all look like it was the same. Since I didn't know prior to this, I might have paid more attention to one band being a different shade before having it dipped but I don't think I wore it enough to wear the first dippings of rhodium off.

I have 2 super delicate, vintage rings that are platinum that don't give me a reaction but I do have some issues with some diamond platinum studs I own (DH purchased them online so I question their pureness). I seem to be allergic to all metals when it comes to earrings.

 

[sledge]

I don't think your rings look bad or anything, but IMO, one band having milgrain and the other not is not a result of inconsistent handwork but rather the jeweler giving you the wrong band. By chance, is the milgrain band also platinum? The pic you showed that has the markings is blurry on top so I can't tell. Again, if you like it -- no harm, no foul.

Two other points:

1. Keeping secrets from you husband (about the jeweler) probably isn't going to help with his trust level, and may actually make it worse if he should find out later.

2. I hate the fact your jeweler was aware of your allergic reaction and chose to put you in a ring that would make you have an adverse reaction. Trying to coat the material with rhodium plating is not a very good answer IMO. Even the best plating will have tiny holes in it and depending on your sensitivity can still cause irritation -- even if "freshly plated". As it becomes more worn, you will receive more exposure. Just a bad combination IMO.

By chance -- have you considered reaching out to David Klass (DK) in Los Angeles? I used them to custom make a setting for my fiancee and they used a white gold/palladium alloy. No plating of any type that is allergy free. In our case, my fiancee didn't have allergy conditions but because of my own chemicals and limited experience with traditional WG jewelry I understand plating can break down relatively quick and didn't want that headache of re-plating. I wanted to use platinum but my fiancee liked the shiny of the WG material so ultimately the WG/palladium alloy ended up being our happy medium. The cost wasn't much different than platinum -- maybe a few hundred less.

DK's prices are very reasonable, and he could take your existing ring and duplicate it in the right materials and maybe even refine it a bit to make it more magnificent. More importantly, you'd have metals that you don't cause problems for you.

 

[rubysweettart]

Thank you @sledge !

The milgrain band is the platinum one, I'm guessing they had to recreate the mold for the white gold band and forgot the detailing.

1. Actually this thread has helped me change my perspective from,"Um, we might have a problem?" to "Hey babe, I think we got lucky!" And now I feel much better approaching my husband having that perspective (thanks to everyone here)!

2. I think the jeweler just didn't realize how serious my reactions are when I brought up allergies, even wearing earrings for a short period can cause my ears to puff and bleed if I'm allergic to the alloy. He claimed they put a coating in between the rhodium (3 layers) that is supposed to help with allergies and it's made for jewelry but I am not about to pretend I have knowledge I don't about how all this stuff works. I didn't know rhodium was porous so I'll watch my finger closer to make sure I take off my ring at the first signs of a reaction and wear it less.

I haven't thought about having this particular ring rebuilt with DK but now that you've mentioned it.... I've seen a lot of his work on here and I LOVE it! Honestly, I just paid $400 to get it resized so I'd like to enjoy it a bit longer before sinking more money into it. Before getting my ring resized, I started a project with Caysie at CVB on a set and she said she works with a white gold alloy that I shouldn't be allergic to so I'll have another set to switch out. I've also heard gold and platinum are much closer in price now than they were when we got married so it seems like an economic option to consider at this point if I can get over losing the resizing fee.

Part of my hesitance to break my husband's faith in this jeweler is that I got a ring from Prague last year and the garnet fell out so my husband wants our guy to fix it but maybe I'll consider contacting a few different people to get opinions. I chipped the cabochon and I think the setting might be crap (the stone fell out!) but it has sentimental value.

Y'all are great! Have I told you that? Because I truly mean it! Thanks to everyone who's chimed in!

 

[CHRISTY-DANIELLE]

I just wanted to tell you that your set is lovely! I like the two curved band look.

If you ever thought you might try DK, I can tell you his prices are beyond reasonable, you might be pleasantly surprised!