The Baby Question...

[InLuv101]

I have been married exactly 6 weeks today and I have people asking me if I''m pregnant yet!

WTF? 6 weeks people! I can excuse my mom since she REALLY wants a grandbaby, but coworkers, people I don''t know well, everyone seems to feel they can chime in. One person even asked what we were waiting on! Is this normal? I''ve NEVER done that to someone. I just think that when a couple chooses to start their family is their business.

 

[fieryred33143]

The top questions that are always asked:

When single
Have you started dating anyone yet? When are you going to start dating?
When dating
When is he going to propose? Why hasn''t he proposed yet? Are you ever getting engaged?
When engaged
When''s the wedding? How are the wedding plans? Are you excited?
Two days after the wedding (or at the wedding)
So when are you guys having a baby?
After baby 1
When are you having baby 2? (and so on)

It never ends.

 

[hibiscus]

CHuman nature, busybodies etc etc etc. Can''t satisfy everyone. My mother-in-law, the first word that came out of her mouth wasn''t congratulation but "so fast?". Well, i got pregnant a month after our wedding, fast or not, I think its not 100% if i want to have a baby anytime I want. I''m glad I was pregnant cos I''m tired of my husband playing daddy to his stupid ex-gf children when they''re even his and their real dad is alive and well and the mom is well equipped with an atm-machine on her arm.

Ignore as much as you can, I know its not easy to do so.

 

[snlee]

Date: 9/5/2008 1:50:54 PM
Author: fieryred33143
The top questions that are always asked:

When single

Have you started dating anyone yet? When are you going to start dating?

When dating

When is he going to propose? Why hasn''t he proposed yet? Are you ever getting engaged?

When engaged

When''s the wedding? How are the wedding plans? Are you excited?

Two days after the wedding (or at the wedding)

So when are you guys having a baby?

After baby 1

When are you having baby 2? (and so on)


It never ends.

I agree. Just do your best to not let it get to you.

 

[InLuv101]

Date: 9/5/2008 1:50:54 PM
Author: fieryred33143
The top questions that are always asked:

When single
Have you started dating anyone yet? When are you going to start dating?
When dating
When is he going to propose? Why hasn''t he proposed yet? Are you ever getting engaged?
When engaged
When''s the wedding? How are the wedding plans? Are you excited?
Two days after the wedding (or at the wedding)
So when are you guys having a baby?
After baby 1
When are you having baby 2? (and so on)

It never ends.

Lol, you''re right. I got alot of these same ones as I was in the various stages. I guess it does never end...

 

[musey]

Why not just answer truthfully? That's what I do. Well, usually with a bit of sarcasm thrown in, too. Seems to satisfy people (though they're usually surprised to not be sidestepped).

Date: 9/5/2008 1:50:54 PM
Author: fieryred33143
The top questions that are always asked:

When single
Have you started dating anyone yet? When are you going to start dating?

1) Nope
2) Whenever I find a guy that's handsome/funny/intelligent enough!

When dating
When is he going to propose? Why hasn't he proposed yet? Are you ever getting engaged?

1) We're thinking this winter / next year
2) We don't have a ring / we're not ready / etc.
3) Yes

When engaged
When's the wedding? How are the wedding plans? Are you excited?

1) Next fall / spring / etc.
2) Good. (no expansion necessary...)
3) Yes, we both are.

Two days after the wedding (or at the wedding)
So when are you guys having a baby?

In five years / when I'm 30 / when hubby gets a promotion

After baby 1
When are you having baby 2? (and so on)

When baby #1 is toilet trained and reliably sleeps through the night.

Option 2: Never! (Or when the condom breaks

)

It never ends.

So why not have fun with it?

People have been asking us when we were getting engaged since month 6 of our relationship. It took us 3 years--so that's 2.5 years of "When is he going to propose??" The minute we were engaged we got BOTH the wedding questions AND the baby questions. People ask because they're interested in you and your plans, not because they want to annoy you

Just answer, it's a lot more fun than saying "Leave me alone!!"

 

[InLuv101]

Date: 9/5/2008 2:55:53 PM
Author: musey
Why not just answer truthfully? That''s what I do. Well, usually with a bit of sarcasm thrown in, too. Seems to satisfy people (though they''re usually surprised to not be sidestepped).

Date: 9/5/2008 1:50:54 PM
Author: fieryred33143
The top questions that are always asked:

When single
Have you started dating anyone yet? When are you going to start dating?

1) Nope
2) Whenever I find a guy that''s handsome/funny/intelligent enough!

When dating
When is he going to propose? Why hasn''t he proposed yet? Are you ever getting engaged?

1) We''re thinking this winter / next year
2) We don''t have a ring / we''re not ready / etc.
3) Yes

When engaged
When''s the wedding? How are the wedding plans? Are you excited?

1) Next fall / spring / etc.
2) Good. (no expansion necessary...)
3) Yes, we both are.

Two days after the wedding (or at the wedding)
So when are you guys having a baby?

In five years / when I''m 30 / when hubby gets a promotion

After baby 1
When are you having baby 2? (and so on)

When baby #1 is toilet trained and reliably sleeps through the night.

Option 2: Never! (Or when the condom breaks

)

It never ends.

So why not have fun with it?

People have been asking us when we were getting engaged since month 6 of our relationship. It took us 3 years--so that''s 2.5 years of ''When is he going to propose??'' The minute we were engaged we got BOTH the wedding questions AND the baby questions. People ask because they''re interested in you and your plans, not because they want to annoy you

Just answer, it''s a lot more fun than saying ''Leave me alone!!''

I get the interest and to a degree I expect the questions, but I guess it''s how quickly people are almost expecting us to procreate that is most surprising.

 

[musey]

It's always up to you how much you let peoples' "expectations" get to you.

You're not the first, you won't be the last--and it's not isolated to babymaking or relationship progress. I get these kinds of questions/expectations all the time about my career. Sometimes it bothers me, but I remind myself that it's MY life and MY career (and MY babymaking schedule), not theirs. So I tell them what they want to hear and move on!


ETA: We tend to get the most annoyed by these questions when they hit a nerve. I know that's true for me. When I was having a bit of "lady in waiting" syndrome, that was when I got annoyed at the "when are you getting engaged?" questions. I felt like I had no control over the situation--so why were they asking me?

Same with work. I'm excited to talk about it and answer questions when I feel as though my career is going well, but when I'm feeling stuck, I just want people to leave me alone about it.

 

[Tuckins1]

Hahaha... I know how you feel. People were asking me when the babies were coming AT MY WEDDING!!! Geez people! At least let us get to the honeymoon!!!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

People are so noisy! I have been getting the "when are you have baby #2" for like 6 months now.

 

[radiantquest]

there are some people that everytime i see them they ask when i am getting married. like these people are sitting around waiting to see me so they can ask or something. every time i see them!!

 

[icekid]

ha, I must have noninvasive friends/family. No one has ever asked us when we''re having kids! Maybe then know I''m too busy working to have time to *get* pregnant hehe

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 9/5/2008 1:50:54 PM
Author: fieryred33143
The top questions that are always asked:

When single
Have you started dating anyone yet? When are you going to start dating?
When dating
When is he going to propose? Why hasn''t he proposed yet? Are you ever getting engaged?
When engaged
When''s the wedding? How are the wedding plans? Are you excited?
Two days after the wedding (or at the wedding)
So when are you guys having a baby?
After baby 1
When are you having baby 2? (and so on)

It never ends.

You forgot (the days after the wedding):
Do you feel any different?

 

[musey]

Honestly, whenever I ask such questions (and I do/have), it''s because I can''t think of anything else to talk about with that person

Family is different--they honestly want to know, because they''re excited. But friends/acquaintances usually just think it''s something interesting that is/could be going on in your life (which it is) and that it''s something worthy of chatting about (which, again, it is).

Give ''em a break, they''re just excited for you and/or can''t think of anything else to talk about!

 

[Diamond*Dana]

Date: 9/5/2008 1:50:54 PM
Author: fieryred33143
The top questions that are always asked:

After baby 1
When are you having baby 2? (and so on)

It never ends.

I agree with this...I think that people have finally gotten the picture that DH and I will not be having a 4th child...not intentionally anyway!

 

[Apsara]

It''s nobody''s d*mn business (as you said, mom gets a pass because well, she is mom!). I have been married 13 years and after all that time, I now say "When hell freezes over." We don''t want kids and have none by choice, but how rude--I would never ask that. It''''s none of my busness #1. #2, you don''t know what is going on. What if a woman is going through a fertility crisis?

The best advice is to find a way to politley dismiss these poeple--unfortunately, people like coworkers, neighbors, etc., have to be dealt with delicately because you have to continue to deal with them, and you can tell them to F off (although it might feel good for 5 seconds

)

Someone gave me great advice recently--when asked ANY question that is none of the asker''s business, simply, calmy ask back "Why do you need to know that?"

Boy, has it been effective! It has chanegd my life!