dates, dates, dates...

[alli_esq]

Oh, dear, this wedding stuff is so much more complicated than I imagined it would be!

So, I am looking in Northern New Jersey for venues (FI and I live in NY, but we are both from NJ, and all of our parents live there), and I checked out 7 in two days

My good friend from home has looked at many venues in the area and gave me a list of places that she liked (we have similar taste)...

anyway, my problems are thus:
1. I can really only afford to have the wedding January through the beginning of April of 2009--I am not in a rush to get married or anything, but the prices are going up in 2010, and I can really hardly afford even the off-season current rates.

2. I am have a large number of out of town guests, and I am worried that if I have my wedding in the dead of winter, they will have weather problems traveling. Sooo, if I''m going to have it during the off-season, I would be looking at March-April.

3. I just took the bar exam in July and I won''t find out if I passed until November. I am going to be working for a sole practitioner and he is really depending on me passing the first time because he wants to be able to send me to court alone as soon as possible. However, if I don''t pass, the next time I could take it would be in February 2009, which would mean that a March wedding would really be impossible. Early April would still be cutting it close, but it is a possibility. Otherwise, I would have to wait until next July to retake the bar, and I don''t know how my new boss would feel about that.

4. I would love a Friday night wedding, but the only Friday night that is available in March/early April is March 6, which is obviously very early, and the weather is still so tentative that time of year in the Northeast. If not a Friday, I could only do a Sunday afternoon wedding. (also, I definitely couldn''t re-take the bar in February if my wedding was March 6)

And here I thought the only issue would be money! ::sigh::

I just want some sympathy, I guess. Or ideas, maybe? I don''t know that I can be helped! hehe

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Have you considered perhaps having a more casual wedding where you can stretch your money out?

Venues are very expensive, because aside from the food you buy, and what not...you''re also actually paying to "rent" the square footage. Which, under normal circumstances is fine, but if your trying to squeeze every drop of cash you can...this works against you.

If you''re open to a Sunday wedding, could you possibly host on in a lovely park? Hiring outside caterers and renting tables is not cheap, but probably less then what you''re paying for those things thru an established venue. Aside from a lovely natural ambiance, you wouldn''t be paying for square footage...although you may have to pay a nominal rental fee to the park district is such a thing exsists where you live. You could push your wedding back into the summer where you''d have dependable weather and that ceases your fear right there.

that is just a consideration...and I will try to become more creative with more suggestions later on

 

[sunnyd]

Hi Alli. I have a thought, maybe it''s helpful, maybe not...bear with me here.

If you wait until 2010, you have a whole extra year to save up. Would that be a possibilty? How much are the prices going up? What kind of reception are you planning? Dinner, lunch? What about a heavy hors d''oeuvres or afternoon snacky type thing?

Italia''s idea about the park would be nice too. Yowza, good luck!

 

[cbs102]

I know that this isn''t part of your question....and i don''t know your budget.. but i am from northern NJ-- bergen county actually... the Stony Hill inn is amazing and so is the Ramsey Golf and Country Club.... where have you been looking?>

 

[alli_esq]

Date: 8/14/2008 11:48:31 AM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Have you considered perhaps having a more casual wedding where you can stretch your money out?


Venues are very expensive, because aside from the food you buy, and what not...you''re also actually paying to ''rent'' the square footage. Which, under normal circumstances is fine, but if your trying to squeeze every drop of cash you can...this works against you.


If you''re open to a Sunday wedding, could you possibly host on in a lovely park? Hiring outside caterers and renting tables is not cheap, but probably less then what you''re paying for those things thru an established venue. Aside from a lovely natural ambiance, you wouldn''t be paying for square footage...although you may have to pay a nominal rental fee to the park district is such a thing exsists where you live. You could push your wedding back into the summer where you''d have dependable weather and that ceases your fear right there.


that is just a consideration...and I will try to become more creative with more suggestions later on

Thank you for your suggestion! I have thought about that, but being that I am starting a new job, I feel that arranging for all of that would be so much work that I simply wouldn''t have time to do an adequate job (not to mention that at least if you book a venue, they have considerable insurance, and obviously it would be much harder to fix all that myself)...

Also, it is my personal feeling that the weather is never dependable, especially up here

 

[alli_esq]

Date: 8/14/2008 12:18:34 PM
Author: sunnyd
Hi Alli. I have a thought, maybe it''s helpful, maybe not...bear with me here.

If you wait until 2010, you have a whole extra year to save up. Would that be a possibilty? How much are the prices going up? What kind of reception are you planning? Dinner, lunch? What about a heavy hors d''oeuvres or afternoon snacky type thing?


Italia''s idea about the park would be nice too. Yowza, good luck!

Thanks for the idea

unfortunately, my budget will not be budging, even if we have time to save--my father is retiring in December, so there will be no more cash flow for my parents, and my FI refuses to spend a dime more than he has already offered (which I honestly do think is fair). FI and I are 31 and 27 respectively, and we are renters--we would really like to be able to buy a home in the next few years, before we start thinking about children, and this wedding stuff is really going to clean us out a bit.

I have always had my heart set on a dinner, though I''m sure heavy hors d''oeuvres would probably be smarter...we''ll see...I''m looking a couple more venues today...

 

[cbs102]

Also, the Saddle River Inn is really nice...

 

[alli_esq]

Date: 8/14/2008 12:52:18 PM
Author: cbs102
I know that this isn''t part of your question....and i don''t know your budget.. but i am from northern NJ-- bergen county actually... the Stony Hill inn is amazing and so is the Ramsey Golf and Country Club.... where have you been looking?>

Oh, great! Thank you for your suggestions!!! I am from Passaic County, so those are pretty nearby...I did go to the Stony Hill Inn, but I think I was a bit turned off by the guy who showed us around and was selling us HARD. I haven''t been to the Ramsey Golf and Country Club or the Saddle River Inn...I''ve been to (ranked in order from favorite to least, though they were truly all lovely, so it''s a tough choice):

-The Valley Regency
-Mayfair Farms
-Highlawn Pavilion
-The Atrium
-The Manor
-Stony Hill Inn
-Sheraton Crossroads

I am going to Knoll Country Club and the Madison Hotel today...I''ll keep you updated...
If I could find an April, Friday night date that was affordable at a place I felt to be comparable to some of these venues, I would probably just go with it...

 

[cbs102]

it sucks that you were turned off of the stoney hill inn. i have been to a few weddings there and they were really beautiful. i have also heard awesome things about the Madison.. the crossroads is where i had my prom in highschool.. and the country club is where i gre up so i am a little partial... i will try to think of a few more though..

is there anything in Montclair? that area is really awesome

 

[kellybelly]

hi alli,

i''m right in northern new jersey and have been to most of the places you mentioned. here''s my 2 cents:

-The Valley Regency
i was just there for a Tricky Tray in March or April and it''s lovely, i hadn''t been there before. staff was good, my dinner was a bit blah, but they weren''t prepared for a vegetarian, so i can''t say what the meat was like

-Mayfair Farms
my fiance and i went there for a vist and it''s very pretty, but the food was totally disappointing and i think it''s overpriced for what you get

-Highlawn Pavilion
fantastic spot, but the room is set up strangely, like a T-shape. make sure you''re clear on the set up if you are thinking about that place. i''m sure the food is fantastic, i just couldn''t get past the seating set up

-The Atrium
friends had their wedding there and thought it was great. i have never been there.

-The Manor
they do multiple weddings at the same time, so just beware

-Stony Hill Inn
loved this place online, but it was WAY out of our price range

-Sheraton Crossroads
my family has had a few parties here. i think the food is good and it''s very well kept. i was just there in may for a communion party and it was as nice as i had remembered it. (and my prom was there back in 1995!)

so those are my comments, for what it''s worth. and my aunt was married at the Knoll and it was a great wedding. we are having our reception at the Bridgewater Manor and got an awesome deal for a february 09 wedding, but that might be too far for your liking.

 

[alli_esq]

Thank you, Kellybelly!!!

-The Valley Regency

i was just there for a Tricky Tray in March or April and it''s lovely, i hadn''t been there before. staff was good, my dinner was a bit blah, but they weren''t prepared for a vegetarian, so i can''t say what the meat was like

This is my top choice--my main problems with it are that the only dates I could get were somewhat inconvenient and that I''m afraid that my 110-135 people would get lost in their huge (but gorgeous) ballroom...

-Mayfair Farms

my fiance and i went there for a vist and it''s very pretty, but the food was totally disappointing and i think it''s overpriced for what you get

that''s a shame--I loved it the first time I went, but the second time, after going to the Valley Regency, I''m not sure it held up..I might still go there for a tasting, but if you say the food was lousy, that''s disappointing!

-Highlawn Pavilion

fantastic spot, but the room is set up strangely, like a T-shape. make sure you''re clear on the set up if you are thinking about that place. i''m sure the food is fantastic, i just couldn''t get past the seating set up

yes, we went there to look and the room was a strange shape...I like that you can see the skyline, but the two people I know who have been to events there both were there when it was foggy (two different times) and they couldn''t even see it!

-The Atrium

friends had their wedding there and thought it was great. i have never been there.

I had my bat mitzvah there, and my FSIL and FBIL had their wedding there--it was actually when my FI and I started talking and began dating very soon after

It has significance for me emotionally, but I just don''t feel that I''d be getting the bang for my buck there...

-The Manor

they do multiple weddings at the same time, so just beware

Tell me about it--totally a beautiful facility, but ONE bathroom for three weddings and a restaurant? I don''t really want to bump into another bride at my own wedding, thank you.

-Stony Hill Inn

loved this place online, but it was WAY out of our price range

He really worked with me and got the price down to something I could manage, but like I said--he really turned me off to the place by keeping us there for over 2 1/2 hours, talking about his life, his family, his illnesses, his family''s illnesses and how demanding his boss is.

-Sheraton Crossroads

my family has had a few parties here. i think the food is good and it''s very well kept. i was just there in may for a communion party and it was as nice as i had remembered it. (and my prom was there back in 1995!)

my brother had his bar mitzvah there and everyone loved it (I had also been to a prom there when I was in high school)...but when I went back there to price it for this event, it was UNBELIEVABLY expensive, especially for what they were offering...

so those are my comments, for what it''s worth. and my aunt was married at the Knoll and it was a great wedding. we are having our reception at the Bridgewater Manor and got an awesome deal for a february 09 wedding, but that might be too far for your liking.

I really liked the Knoll, especially the West, but it is out of our price range...I really did think it was pretty, though, and the gentleman with whom we met was lovely. I haven''t heard of the Bridgewater Manor, but I will check it out--thanks!

 

[CrownJewel]

Ideas:
The Madison Hotel in Morristown
Florentine Gardens (I think that''s what it''s called. FI''s friend is getting married there next year, and they said it was much more affordable than our venue...which I thought was fairly reasonable). Give them a call...I hope that''s the right one.

I know you thought the Manor was not private enough, but I went to a good friend''s wedding there and I didn''t ever feel like "just one of the multiple weddings." The cocktail hour was fantastic. The gardens are gorgeous. All around great package and great price.

We looked at Highlawn Pavilion also and didn''t like the T-shape. We also didn''t like the outdoor ceremony location... Beautiful views though. And a great price.

Don''t bother with Liberty House...we weren''t impressed with the menu for the high price. And they''ve got lots of construction going on (at least they did during winter 07).