Should we pay for this dinner?

[Kissmark]

we are having a destination wedding and most guests will arrive a couple of days before the wedding. We thought it might be a good idea to organize a dinner w/ everyone right after everyone arrives since most people haven't seen each other in awhile. Should we pay for this dinner since we will organize it? (note we have a separate reshearsal dinner which we will pay for).

Where FI is coming from the custom is that the couple doesn't pay for anything except the wedding itself, guests pay for themselves for other events. so I know from his side the guests are not expecting us to pay. But not sure what the US custom is. Thanks!

 

[musey]

As a guest, I would expect to pay for everything outside of the RD (if applicable) and the wedding itself. Not sure if that has anything to do with customs, though!

 

[Kissmark]

Date: 8/14/2007 8:54:19 PM
Author: musey
As a guest, I would expect to pay for everything outside of the RD (if applicable) and the wedding itself. Not sure if that has anything to do with customs, though!

just to clarify you mean you would expect to pay for it yourself?

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I agree with Musey. I would expect to pay for any meals (outside the RD and wedding).

 

[musey]

Date: 8/14/2007 8:56:23 PM
Author: Kissmark

Date: 8/14/2007 8:54:19 PM

Author: musey

As a guest, I would expect to pay for everything outside of the RD (if applicable) and the wedding itself. Not sure if that has anything to do with customs, though!

just to clarify you mean you would expect to pay for it yourself?

As a guest, I would expect to pay. So yes.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I don''t think your guests expect you to pay, nor should you feel obligated to pay. We''re doing something similar for our out-of-town guests arriving a couple of days early and we decided to go ahead and have them pay. Between the rehearsal dinner, the wedding and the brunch the next day, we just felt stretched a bit thin when it came to the food bill. We chose a reasonably-priced restaurant so our guests wouldn''t have to spend too much and everybody seems to be perfectly content to pay for themselves that night.

The other option we considered was to pay for food and have people pay for their own drinks, but in the end we nixed that idea, too.

 

[swingirl]

It is understandable that your guests would pay for there own meals but if you organize a large group to eat together you certainly can''t expect the restaruant to give you seperate checks. What method will you use to make sure the last guy at the table doesn''t get stuck paying for everyone else''s dinner. It will be awkward for everyone to start tossing $20 on the table especially if people weren''t prepared with cash.

 

[Kissmark]

Date: 8/14/2007 9:10:55 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
I don''t think your guests expect you to pay, nor should you feel obligated to pay. We''re doing something similar for our out-of-town guests arriving a couple of days early and we decided to go ahead and have them pay. Between the rehearsal dinner, the wedding and the brunch the next day, we just felt stretched a bit thin when it came to the food bill. We chose a reasonably-priced restaurant so our guests wouldn''t have to spend too much and everybody seems to be perfectly content to pay for themselves that night.

The other option we considered was to pay for food and have people pay for their own drinks, but in the end we nixed that idea, too.

That''s what we considered as well! but thought it would get kind of messy w/ collecting money, etc

 

[Kissmark]

Date: 8/14/2007 9:18:24 PM
Author: swingirl
It is understandable that your guests would pay for there own meals but if you organize a large group to eat together you certainly can''t expect the restaruant to give you seperate checks. What method will you use to make sure the last guy at the table doesn''t get stuck paying for everyone else''s dinner. It will be awkward for everyone to start tossing $20 on the table especially if people weren''t prepared with cash.

We will do either a set course menu or buffet, so the price is the same for everyone. that way each person knows how much to pay for so I dont think anyone will stuck with paying for everyone else. But drinks is a problem though, coz I know there are people in the group who will drink more than others.