I know this is bad but it would make me happy

[anika]

Hi all,
I''ve been following Mara''s upgrade thread and can almost feel the excitement of having her bigger stone. I want to trade in my 1.23ct round for a 1.4-1.40ct round. Now I know everyone says upgrade in big steps but I could honestly not even bring up the topic with my hubby. Getting my 1.23 was one of those long stories (already a 2nd upgrade) you often read about here and when I''ve relayed a few PS upgrade stories to hubby, he thinks 2x is enough. It would not even be a question of $ but more like enough is enough. I stare at my rings all the time; they are like my kids, honestly. They bring me so much happiness, that only a PScoper would understand. I know 0.25ct doesn''t sound like much but when you look at your bling all day long, you can see the difference.
If I kept to this size, the price difference would be very minimal and.....would hubby even notice?? I know that sounds really wrong. I''ve just started back at work after a year off with my 2nd child. I''m not keen on working, am feeling quite lost really, incredibly tired and having a bigger stone feels like it would be something to aim for and I know it would bring me a lot of pleasure and justification for the busy life I''ve just embarked on.
Maybe I could broach it with hubby when the timing is absolutely right..like when hes bought a new car, closer to my b''day etc etc...I find with him, its better not to share too many details.
What do you think of the size difference?
Thanks in advance

 

[aphisiglovessae]

I think you're only talking about a size difference of approximately 0.3-0.4 mm (width), which is pretty insignificant to me. Have you looked at two stones (one the size of your current diamond and one that's the size you want) side by side to see the difference between them?

 

[anika]

Thanks for the reply. I''m looking more at round late 1.4-1.49 cts. So trying to get the 1.5 ct look. My jeweller doesn''t have loose stones on hand; he has to source them and you have to be patient. I know when I see 1 ct next to 1.25 ct, there is a small but noticeable difference. When I have seen 1.5 cts; they have looked like a nice size to me and I do notice the slightly bigger size.
Anika

 

[Dancing Fire]

i think you need to add .50 ct to see the difference. JMO

 

[Mara]

well i can feel your pain anika...i had a 1.29 and wanted around 1.80c for the upgrade but at the time it was more affordable and just smarter to go for the 1.6c that i have and it was easier to sell to hubby because of the relatively small price diff. also he knew that i wanted bigger and had a goal in mind over the long term so it wasn''t a shock to him that i wanted to do it. i could definitely see a size difference in my 1.29 and my 1.6...the 1.29 was 7.10mm and the 1.6 is 7.6mm, so the .5mm was definitely visible to me and to others too. also that jump mentally made me feel like i finally had a ''bigger stone'' rather than a ''normal stone''. i know that 1.29 is not normal in many areas but to me it always looked kind of regular and nothing special whereas the 1.6 just looked more like a ''big stone'' and still does to me.

so mentally that jump even though it''s not huge necessarily, may be enough to mentally tide you over for a while. but honestly i can''t really get on board with not telling your hubby about it, esp if you feel like it would bother him? i''m not one to hide things like that really, esp when it comes to something like a w-ring or e-ring where there is some sort of ''togetherness'' involved with it i guess. i wouldn''t want him hiding things from me either. can you tell him look i really want this and it won''t cost much $$ and i feel like i deserve it because i''m having such a hard time going back to work and this would make me really happy? basically just be honest?

anyway, i think if you can work it out with him, you should definitely go for it BUT if doing this one means that he won''t be on board with say a bigger jump in a year or two, then i''d say WAIT it out until he IS mentally ready and you can spend more to maybe get a more long-term significant jump that may tide you over and make him feel like ''okay this is enough''. i don''t know what your ''upgrade plan'' is but if you feel like by holding onto what you have now and in 2-3 years you can get a 2c or something and he''d be okay with it, then i''d try to wait and be patient and do that. greg agreed to this jump because it financially is better than waiting to go larger but i also know that this is IT for a while unless something big happens or changes. so i tried to really make it count with size.

just my thoughts!! good luck and keep us posted!

 

[diamond_quester]

I don''t know if I could tell the difference without looking at the stones side by side. But I can understand that 1.5 feels like a good size and that any larger an upgrade would be much more expensive. Can you re-use your setting? If your jeweler can find the right stone, I say go for it!

 

[anika]

Thanks for the replies.
I really would be happy to end with a "1.49" ct. Mara, you hit it on the head...1.23ct doesn''t feel big to me and it doesn''t get a wow but when i see 1.5''s on someone, I can''t stop staring. That 0.5mm is quite a diff. Okay, I know everyone says.. you say it will end here but really, given I have 2 kids and private school fees to fork out (hence I''m back at work), I would feel like a lucky gal. The price diff is not much and it doesn''t feel extravagant. Goodness knows how long it will take to source the right stone so I''ve got time to work on hubby. I will tell him but it might have to be all a bit engineered

Anika

 

[just_looking!]

What about suggesting you each have a ''fun fund'' which you contribute the same amount of money which you can spend on what ever you like? That way he can buy boy toys and you can have sparklies?

If you''re feeling a bit down about your job then this might be the motivation. Seeing a percentage of you pay going to fund the upgrade would be really satisfying?

You might also be able to get hubby to contribute birthday money, christmas money, valentines money etc. so that upgrade comes a litte faster.

Perhaps this is a less confrontative way of you getting your new sparklie and him having the same amount of money to spend too?

 

[woobug02]

woooooooooooooooooooooooo

I know exactly what you are going thru!!! I loved the size of my marquise but due to clarity I changed to a 1.10 ct round great clarity but I really miss miss miss the SIZE. Do it if you want too I understand the size issue

 

[blodthecat]

Date: 4/5/2006 2:38:30 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
i think you need to add .50 ct to see the difference. JMO

I agree! You want it to be a real WOW..when you upgrade!

 

[Mara]

anika, maybe this will help...when i upgraded last time i had wf put a diamond they had in stock that was 1.28c (not 1.26 as it says in the picture, it''s really a 1.2 against the 1.60c i was considering and this is what it looked like. it was actually quite a visual difference in person as well as that mental ''satisfaction'' i finally had as i mentioned. so i think if you can do something like a 1.49 or get a deal on a 1.5c you would see a big difference because your stone is smaller now aka 1.23 so going to 1.5c would be something like 7.05mm to 7.5mm or similar?

 

[Garysax]

Date: 4/5/2006 3:38:30 AM
Author: just_looking!
What about suggesting you each have a ''fun fund'' which you contribute the same amount of money which you can spend on what ever you like? That way he can buy boy toys and you can have sparklies?


If you''re feeling a bit down about your job then this might be the motivation. Seeing a percentage of you pay going to fund the upgrade would be really satisfying?


You might also be able to get hubby to contribute birthday money, christmas money, valentines money etc. so that upgrade comes a litte faster.


Perhaps this is a less confrontative way of you getting your new sparklie and him having the same amount of money to spend too?

Good post.

 

[moon river]

Date: 4/5/2006 2:38:30 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
i think you need to add .50 ct to see the difference. JMO

Ditto.