Bridal Shower

[ohiopebbles]

Hi everyone! I am new to this site but it looks like you are very helpful and full of information! I am in a pickle and need some advice! My maid of honor is in another state and can not do much as far as the shower goes. I am in Ohio and my mom lives in Florida and I don''t have any sisters. I don''t want to sponsor my own bridal shower(s)! Is is rude to flat out ask the other brides maids? I know my sister in law will help out but I don''t want to put the whole burden on her. Plus one of my bridesmaids is getting married the month after I am and my fourth bridesmaid is one of hers! So most of my ladies have a lot on their plate already. Help!!!

 

[MelissaSue]

If you want a shower where you are locally.. I''d say ask the other bridesmaids. They probably WANT to do something for you... they may jsut not know how to go about it.. I''d mention it casually and kind of let them go for there..

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 1/15/2006 12:00:40 PM
Author: MelissaSue
If you want a shower where you are locally.. I''d say ask the other bridesmaids. They probably WANT to do something for you... they may jsut not know how to go about it.. I''d mention it casually and kind of let them go for there..

I agree. Just casually say something or have your MOH say something to on of your BM. I don''t think they would deprive you of a shower because one of them is getting married around the same time as you.

 

[selflove]

Date: 1/15/2006 12:00:40 PM
Author: MelissaSue
If you want a shower where you are locally.. I''d say ask the other bridesmaids. They probably WANT to do something for you... they may jsut not know how to go about it.. I''d mention it casually and kind of let them go for there..

Okay, but be careful how you say it...I was in a similar situation and I only had my MOH in another state. I hadn''t yet decided to have 2 of my girlfriends where I live be my BM''s and one day I was with one of the BMs-to-be and I was thinkning out loud and I said "Well, since MOH is in Wisconsin, how''s she gonna do a shower?" This was months ago. THen last week that BM says to me "You asked if I''d throw you a shower, blah blah blah." She totally thought I was dropping a big hint, which I absolutely was not, I was just wondering out loud at a time when I was even more clueless about wedding planning and etiquette than I am now.

Do you have any kind of maternal figure there where you live? That might be another strategy, to ask her to co-plan it with your BMs if you feel that asking them directly would put them out.

Would your mom being able to fly in from Florida? If so, maybe she could coordinate it with one of your BMs who isn''t involved in the other girl''s upcoming wedding?

 

[FireGoddess]

In all the weddings I''ve been in, the whole female wedding party is responsible for the shower, it''s just that usually the MOH is in charge. Since she can''t do so, perhaps you could ask her to approach the other BMs about it? How would you feel about that? Have her ask them if they can pull the load since she''s out of state?

I''ve been the MOH in 2 weddings and a BM in a 3rd in the last year. As MOH, I organized the shower, and even as the BM I did it since the MOH was kinda clueless. But everybody contributed equally financially, and those that were able to attend did so. In a 4th wedding I was in, I was across the country and couldn''t participate. I helped with ideas, cut a check to the MOH.

I''d probably have the MOH contact the other BMs since that''s kinda her job...I''d feel weird asking the other BMs to throw me a shower. That''s just me though.

 

[ohiopebbles]

Thanks everyone for all of your insight! To respond to a couple of questions - my mom will fly in to attend the shower but can not do much before then. My parents are pretty low in the extra cash flow. My fiance and I paying for the wedding because they can''t. The other dilemma is that my MOH only knows one of my Bridesmaids. She is an old friend and they are new friends, so it would be pretty awkward for her to ask them. I never expected much help from her but she is my best friend so I couldn''t imagine having anyone else there beside me!

Another question- is there a mother figure, not here. She is also back in Indiana where my MOH is! I will talk with the other girls and my fiances mom, I think that they can cover all of the bases. His family loves to cook. At all the family gatherings, they do a carry in style. If the other two girls handle the games and my SIL handles the decorations, all that will be left is the prizes. I would hope that they would all chip in for that!

I am still open to any other suggestions! Thanks so far!

 

[glaucomflecken]

My MOH was technically "in charge" of planning my bridal shower, but all my bridemaids helped. My MOH and two of my BM''s (my sisters) all live in the Chicago metro area and my other BM lives in Beavercreek, OH (your neck of the woods !) Since I was living outside of Toledo,OH and most of my family and friends were in Chicago, they threw it there, and I traveled to Chicago with some of my Toledo friends for the shower. My MOH email brainstormed with all the girls and then each one was in charge of doing something (since I was coming in from Ohio and had only limited time off of work, they did my bachelorette party the same weekend). I assumed that they were going to do it, but eventually they did come and ask me when would be a good time, because I needed to put the time off in advance way early. So you could casually ask and give weekends that you would be available to come into town, or they could come to where you are. Because they really cant surprise you if people have to travel, so that may be an easy way to ease it into conversatiion. I agree that they DO most likely want to do something for you. Girls all understand that this is SO important! And it need not be expensive. My girls did a lot of DIY projects and games, and the only cost was food and decorations. They had the shower at my mom''s house so they didnt need to rent a hall. I offered to help financially but they refused.

im not sure if that helps or not. but a shout out to you anyway since you are from Xenia and I have family in Beavercreek! woo hoo for ohio!