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#JOTW 3.48ct OEC + 0.3ct asscher modern Toi et Moi ring - 6 years in the making!

Pomelo

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 20, 2015
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710
After 6 years, my 3.48ct OEC toi et moi engagement ring is here!

Before I go into the story, I just wanted to say that I have learned so much from Pricescope. This is a wonderful community and opened my eyes to the not just diamonds, but also beautifully designed jewellery. Thanks to everyone who contributes on here and for the fantastic conversations!

There are lots of (poorly taken) iPhone pictures at the bottom - please scroll to the next post if you want to skip to the good part! This turned out to be a novel :oops2:

TLDR: it took me 3 years to find a 4.49ct OEC that was subsequently stolen when our home got burgled; in the last six years I have been taking mental notes of modern, uncommon settings and finally have my dream ring: a toi et moi with 3.48ct OEC and 0.30ct asscher, set in a yellow gold bezel “open” setting.

The background is that my husband and I met during my first year at university (college for the US crowd on here ) and have been together for twelve nears now. After graduating, we went into high pressure jobs in the finance industry where both of us would regularly work 80-100 hour weeks, and we supported each other through the highs and lows.

Conversations of engagement was triggered when we started thinking about buying a flat together, and that was when I got into diamonds. I knew that I wanted a well-cut diamond and I didn’t want a ‘standard’ setting: I wanted something no one else had, and started devouring design ideas.

The first celebrity ring I fell head-over-heels for was Solange Knowles’ engagement ring (in 2016): her modern take on toi et moi, with the gap between the two stones, was elegant yet so fresh.

Solange Knowles' engagement ring
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However, I wasn’t keen on a step-cut for an engagement ring - I wanted a little more sparkle. So I started looking into other rings that have a ‘gap’, such as the Katkim Crescendo ring.

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It wasn’t until I saw Jemma Wynne’s toi et moi with an emerald and pear shaped diamond that they created for Maria Dueñas Jacobs (previously Elle’s Accessories Director) that I knew having two very different stones can work together. The problem was, I didn’t want an emerald (despite it being my favourite gemstone) because it’s too soft for everyday wear, and I had learned how beautiful OECs were through Pricescope - I loved the chunky facets and flashes of light.

Jemma Wynne Toi et Moi ring
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OECs are harder to come by in the UK and the only place I could find them were at auctions. So whenever there were auctions at Sotheby’s, Christie’s, Bonhams and other small auction houses, I would pop along at the weekend to try on various pieces.

In 2019, after nearly three years of going to auctions and training my eyes to what ‘good’ looks like, I found a stone - it was an Edwardian ring, 4.49ct M+ SI2 (eye clean) in its original delicate 8-prong platinum setting. At 10.7mm spread, it looked like a 5 carat, was fairly shallow but looked very white face-up.

The "original" that only came out for special occasions - 4.49ct M+ SI2 OEC, eye clean with nibbles at the girdle
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Despite the adrenaline rush of having a 5ct-sized ring, I was uncomfortable wearing it everywhere. So I put off resetting it, and dipped my toe into creating an ‘everyday’ engagement ring. Staying true to designing something uncommon, I bought a 1.5ct step-cut triangle diamond at auction and set it in a simple yellow gold bezel.

The setting mattered just as much as the stone because I’m a bit lazy and don’t take care of my possessions as much as I should! Therefore, my goals for the setting were: (1) uncommon design, (2) comfort, (3) set low and (4) bezel rather than prongs so it doesn’t catch on anything. If these conditions were satisfied, then I would happily wear the ring every day for most activities.

The 'everyday' engagement ring, worn here with a Shaun Leane ring
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I continued with the 'original' and 'everyday' ring for about two years, always putting off resetting the OEC because I'd taken it to a couple of jewellers who urged me to keep it in its original, hand-forged antique setting.

However, in early 2021, we were away for a week when burglars broke into our house and took our entire safe. They didn’t even break into the safe, they just took the whole thing! Sadly, I had taken the decision to “secure” all my jewellery - including my engagement rings and our wedding bands - in the safe before we left.

All the pieces I had collected over the last decade, plus ten years of anniversary and birthday presents, disappeared overnight. Luckily we weren’t in the house when they broke in, but I was very very upset. Thankfully my husband assured me that whilst those pieces had sentimental value, we will continue to make memories for the rest of our lives - which I took as a commitment to the jewellery fund :twisted2:

So, I needed to start the search for a diamond again! But this time, having lived with a 4.49ct OEC for two years, I knew what I wanted in my next stone: slightly deeper (as my original stone was quite flat) with a steeper crown for more rainbow flashes, and slightly smaller because I was so self conscious about the large stone - maybe I’m one of the few PSers who is immune to DSS :geek2:

After attending multiple auction viewings, I identified a 3.49ct K-L OEC at 9.8mm. It was a lovely stone - chunky crown, faces up very white, gorgeous flashes. I liked it more than my original stone and was thrilled to win it at auction.

It was in an incredibly high prong setting that doesn’t suit my lifestyle and taste at all, so I was spurred into action to get it reset. Before resetting it, I got a GIA certificate done (which was a logistical complication because London doesn’t have a GIA grading lab - luckily my husband travels to NYC often so he could get it done there!) and the result came out as 3.48ct L SI1 (0.01ct lighter than the auction house's scales). It’s eye clean with lots of nibbles on the girdle.

The 'new' - 3.48ct L SI1 OEC, in its original solitaire setting
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The next step was to find the “moi” to the “toi”. As I love a mix of diamond shapes and cuts, I was fairly sure I wanted a step cut to pair with the OEC. I’ve always loved asschers - especially set with the corners pointing NSEW like a kite rather than flat like a square, but bought two stones from Blue Nile just to make sure: a 0.3ct asscher and a 0.39ct round brilliant, just in case I fancied more symmetry between the two stones.

When the pairing stones arrived, I spent an hour trying them on with the OEC and, despite the RB being a lovely little stone (that’s now been repurposed into a necklace!), I knew that the little asscher was for me.

Comparing OEC with asscher (LHS) and round brilliant (RHS)
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I worked with my jeweller to come up with the setting: there were three design iterations in total but he worked quickly and we managed to go from design to finished product in four weeks! What helped was that I knew what I wanted - each design iteration was a small tweak and that’s probably because I’d spent the last six years studiously making notes on what settings I liked and why!

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So... that brings me to the end of my story, and onto the pictures. If you’ve got this far, thanks for your patience - it’s been a long one. And hope you enjoy my ring as much I enjoy wearing it!

I hunt everywhere for ring specs, so here goes:
  • 3.48ct L SI1 OEC (GIA), 9.8mm
  • 0.30ct I VS2 asscher (GIA), 3.8mm set NSEW
  • Finger size: UK size I / US size 4.25-4.5
  • Custom designed yellow gold bezel toi et moi setting, by me (pictures showing the setting is below - I love how it sits ultra-low on the finger)

(Last thing - apologies if I don’t respond to your comment immediately, I’m not the best with forums but your lovely thoughts and wishes are much appreciated!)

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Final photo - was trying on various things in VCA and caught a photo of my ring 'in the wild' with some Cosmos earrings ^_^

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What a gorgeous stone and I love your new setting! I’m sorry you had your original stolen but what a great opportunity to create more memories
 
Sorry about your break in. Your new ring is just fab! You have such a wonderful sense of style. I’m sure your new collection will be just as brilliant. Enjoy the journey
 
So... that brings me to the end of my story, and onto the pictures. If you’ve got this far, thanks for your patience - it’s been a long one. And hope you enjoy my ring as much I enjoy wearing it!

I hunt everywhere for ring specs, so here goes:
  • 3.48ct L SI1 OEC (GIA), 9.8mm
  • 0.30ct I VS2 asscher (GIA), 3.8mm set NSEW
  • Finger size: UK size I / US size 4.25-4.5
  • Custom designed yellow gold bezel toi et moi setting, by me (pictures showing the setting is below - I love how it sits ultra-low on the finger)

(Last thing - apologies if I don’t respond to your comment immediately, I’m not the best with forums but your lovely thoughts and wishes are much appreciated!)

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Final photo - was trying on various things in VCA and caught a photo of my ring 'in the wild' with some Cosmos earrings ^_^

I love your new ring, welcome to the between the finger ring club!
 
Stunningly different and gorgeous. One question - does it feel “secure” on your finger? The gap between the stones is quite large and I just wondered if it felt anchored? I always see our knuckles as the “obstruction” to stop the ring sliding off and just wondered how yours compared?
 
Beautiful diamonds and such a unique setting! So sorry about the robbery but you managed to make something beautiful in spite of the loss. Thanks so much for sharing!!
 
What a gorgeous stone and I love your new setting! I’m sorry you had your original stolen but what a great opportunity to create more memories
Thank you! Yes, onwards and upwards... My personal style has changed a lot in the past decade so it's nice to 'restart' the collection now that my taste as matured

Sorry about your break in. Your new ring is just fab! You have such a wonderful sense of style. I’m sure your new collection will be just as brilliant. Enjoy the journey
Appreciate it! My new collection is small and will grow slowly. I'm so grateful to have amazing PS and 'the other forum' threads to guide me, even if I am more of a lurker still :P2


I love your new ring, welcome to the between the finger ring club!
Ahh @Neptune you're right, it's a 'between the finger' ring!! It's too late for me to change the title though, I can't seem to edit my posts anymore :wall:


Stunningly different and gorgeous. One question - does it feel “secure” on your finger? The gap between the stones is quite large and I just wondered if it felt anchored? I always see our knuckles as the “obstruction” to stop the ring sliding off and just wondered how yours compared?
Good question, and one that my best friend asked when I sent her the pics! It feels anchored: the setting of the OEC has a little 'groove' at the bottom so it sits snugly against the finger, and the sides of the ring gently curve inwards that 'clamp' it in place. I don't need my knuckle as an obstruction.

I am genuinely surprised by how well it fits - and there's no risk of the ring spinning either.

My only gripe is that the basket for the asscher is set about 1mm above that of the OEC so it protrudes slightly and sits 1mm above the finger, whereas the OEC gently touches my finger (if that makes sense?). If it bugs me enough, I'll get it sent back - but I have a few weddings and other events that I want to wear this ring to first :cool2:

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I love it - such an amazing mix of modern and old world charm. Thank you!
 
What a beautiful ring! Sorry about the loss of your jewelry, but glad you have chosen to see it as a “fresh start” instead. This piece is so unique and the diamonds are :love:
 
I’m so sorry to hear about the break-in but glad you’re able to rebuild again. Your new ER is delightfully unique❤️, @Pomelo !
Wear in health, happiness and safety!
 
Omgggg such a unique design! Lovely!
 
I love your ring, it’s edgy, cool and sophisticated.
You also have beautiful youthful hands to showcase this gorgeous ring:kiss2::kiss2::kiss2:
 
Sorry to hear about the theft of your jewels! I love your new OEC. Your new ring is very chic!
 
your reset is gorgeous!! Actually all of your bands are too!!!beautiful collection,:kiss2::kiss2:
 
It’s truly unbelievably stunning and unique and you wear it so well!
 
Beautiful diamonds and such a unique setting! So sorry about the robbery but you managed to make something beautiful in spite of the loss. Thanks so much for sharing!!
Thank you!

I love it - such an amazing mix of modern and old world charm. Thank you!
That's a great way to put it - "mix of modern and old world charm". I might steal it for next time - thanks!

What a beautiful ring! Sorry about the loss of your jewelry, but glad you have chosen to see it as a “fresh start” instead. This piece is so unique and the diamonds are :love:
Appreciate it!

I’m so sorry to hear about the break-in but glad you’re able to rebuild again. Your new ER is delightfully unique❤️, @Pomelo !
Wear in health, happiness and safety!
Thank you ❤️

Omgggg such a unique design! Lovely!
Hehe thanks!

I love your ring, it’s edgy, cool and sophisticated.
You also have beautiful youthful hands to showcase this gorgeous ring:kiss2::kiss2::kiss2:
Haha, hopefully the design will look as good on my hands in 20 years as it does today ;)2

Sorry to hear about the theft of your jewels! I love your new OEC. Your new ring is very chic!
Thank you ❤️

your reset is gorgeous!! Actually all of your bands are too!!!beautiful collection,:kiss2::kiss2:
Thanks! Sadly most of my bands were also stolen too but I wore a couple of the simpler ones when we were travelling, so they are everyday-wear now :mrgreen2:
 
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry to hear of the burglary but so glad you have your dream ring now. Your ring is really beautiful and unique, and you have model hands!
 
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I am so sorry about your burglary. How devastating. People can be vile.

But I have absolutely LOVED reading your journey for the new ring & wowsers! I have literally never seen anything like this before! Beautiful stones & beautiful design. Absolutely stunning.
 
Thank you so much for this very detailed post. What a nice read.
God that setting of your first diamond was really so beautiful. I was so sad to read it got stolen. But then my heart lighted up to see that you found an even more fitting diamond. And then the setting you designed. It's so unique. I wish I had friends with your taste!
 
Such a beautiful and unique ring! I’m so sorry for the circumstances that led to it, must have been a horrific experience. Thank you for sharing the whole backstory. I’m in the UK too and had never considered the auction houses, so thank you and what a beautiful diamond! Also we’re you happy with your jeweller and would you be happy to share their name?
 
I am sorry you were burglarized! How horrible! So glad you are able to create such a beautiful piece and have a few more that you can have good memories with!
 
I have to say the wide gap between stones and fact the asscher doesn’t even touch the finger would fill me with uncontrollable anxiety every time I wore it. I’d be getting the pliers out to squeeze it tighter so I didn’t lose it after a couple of drinks!
 
Congratulations on finally getting the ring of your dreams! The OEC looks to be beautifully cut with those lovely petals in the middle. The bezel is fabulous, the best way to show off an OEC in a modern way.
 
I’m so sorry to hear about the burglary!! But the stone you ended up with is really beautiful!!

I love the idea of this ring, and the combo of those two stones :love: I wouldn’t have thought to put them together but they work!


I do have some concerns about the mount, though. If you decide to have it remade to address the step cut basket height, I would recommend having your jeweller address this issue as well… Honestly this is a serious structural liability that your jeweller should have pointed out and mitigated without your input.

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The only thing attaching basket to shank is red arrow, this sliver of metal. I don’t know if the mount was cast in one piece or if the baskets were cast separately and then soldered to the shank - that would be even worse. Regardless, though, when you wear this ring, every time you open and close your fingers, flex your hands, curl to hold something, you’re applying small pressures on basket and shank - in the directions of blue arrows. Every time you wear this ring, your natural motions are torquing the basket off the shank. It's inevitable that over time that basket will twist, and eventually it will break off.

Please consider having this ring remade sooner than later, with more support for the baskets. They should at least me held in place on both ends (180 degrees apart). If your jeweller doesn’t understand the need for this then you need another designer. Your stone is SO beautiful, it deserves a secure dress!!
 
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It’s truly unbelievably stunning and unique and you wear it so well!
Thank you!

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry to hear of the burglary but so glad you have your dream ring now. Your ring is really beautiful and unique, and you have model hands!
Appreciate it :)

I am so sorry about your burglary. How devastating. People can be vile.

But I have absolutely LOVED reading your journey for the new ring & wowsers! I have literally never seen anything like this before! Beautiful stones & beautiful design. Absolutely stunning.
Haha thanks, I was keen to have a design that doesn't come about often

Thank you so much for this very detailed post. What a nice read.
God that setting of your first diamond was really so beautiful. I was so sad to read it got stolen. But then my heart lighted up to see that you found an even more fitting diamond. And then the setting you designed. It's so unique. I wish I had friends with your taste!
Thanks, yes - that first Edwardian ring had a wonderfully delicate platinum setting but it just wasn't something I could wear on a daily basis! I have been scouring eBay and other sites in case it comes back up, so I can use my police statements get to get it back, but to no avail. And I was lucky that a smaller diamond with better faceting came my way at auction :)

Such a beautiful and unique ring! I’m so sorry for the circumstances that led to it, must have been a horrific experience. Thank you for sharing the whole backstory. I’m in the UK too and had never considered the auction houses, so thank you and what a beautiful diamond! Also we’re you happy with your jeweller and would you be happy to share their name?
Auction houses are amazing for vintage/antique jewellery but you've just got to be patient - that's the hard part! Because even if you really like something, there's also no guarantee that you'll be able to win it at auction.

My jeweller is based in the middle east (as my husband has been based in the UAE for the last five years) and they have a long tradition of jewellery making there. However, after yssie's comments below, I'm not sure I would recommend them, eek! Happy to DM about it separately though

I am sorry you were burglarized! How horrible! So glad you are able to create such a beautiful piece and have a few more that you can have good memories with!
Thank you!

I have to say the wide gap between stones and fact the asscher doesn’t even touch the finger would fill me with uncontrollable anxiety every time I wore it. I’d be getting the pliers out to squeeze it tighter so I didn’t lose it after a couple of drinks!
Haha, I've tested it out by shaking it vigorously but would love to know if/how you've had experiences with a between-the-finger ring before and what I should watch out for!

Congratulations on finally getting the ring of your dreams! The OEC looks to be beautifully cut with those lovely petals in the middle. The bezel is fabulous, the best way to show off an OEC in a modern way.
Thank you :)
 
I’m so sorry to hear about the burglary!! But the stone you ended up with is really beautiful!!

I love the idea of this ring, and the combo of those two stones :love: I wouldn’t have thought to put them together but they work!


I do have some concerns about the mount, though. If you decide to have it remade to address the step cut basket height, I would recommend having your jeweller address this issue as well… Honestly this is a serious structural liability that your jeweller should have pointed out and mitigated without your input.

C57076AE-352E-480E-AAAB-E78F73221C4B.jpeg

The only thing attaching basket to shank is red arrow, this sliver of metal. I don’t know if the mount was cast in one piece or if the baskets were cast separately and then soldered to the shank - that would be even worse. Regardless, though, when you wear this ring, every time you open and close your fingers, flex your hands, curl to hold something, you’re applying small pressures on basket and shank - in the directions of blue arrows. Every time you wear this ring, your natural motions are torquing the basket off the shank. It's inevitable that over time that basket will twist, and eventually it will break off.

Please consider having this ring remade sooner than later, with more support for the baskets. They should at least me held in place on both ends (180 degrees apart). If your jeweller doesn’t understand the need for this then you need another designer. Your stone is SO beautiful, it deserves a secure dress!!

Thanks so much for your feedback @yssie , it's amazing to get this advice from someone as knowledgeable as you.

The structural integrity isn't something my jeweller pointed out sadly and will be something I raise with him. Please can I check, when you recommend having support for the baskets on both ends, you mean like this (in green)?

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Thanks so much for your feedback @yssie , it's amazing to get this advice from someone as knowledgeable as you.

The structural integrity isn't something my jeweller pointed out sadly and will be something I raise with him. Please can I check, when you recommend having support for the baskets on both ends, you mean like this (in green)?

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Yes! You got it!

Ideally structural support at purple below, but if that isn’t workable with the aesthetic you want, then for sure at the joints you pointed out in green ::)

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HALL. OF. FAME.

Wow I just adore it!!
 
Yes! You got it!

Ideally structural support at purple below, but if that isn’t workable with the aesthetic you want, then for sure at the joints you pointed out in green ::)

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Got it, thank you! I think these purple points are even better because it means the ring curves under my finger and that visually, I have one band rather than a split band.

Really appreciate it, and I’ll be back to update the thread!
 
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