2yo Behavior - Help!

[Kunzite]

I have a two year old (22 months adjusted) and for the most part he is a really good kid! We have minimal tantrums, he plays well with his 5 month old brothers, and plays well independently. Currently I'm a SAHM with all three boys and I'm having trouble with some naps. One of his baby brothers takes a little longer to go down for his nap and needs a little help. I'll put him down and he'll cry for a minute, I give him his pacifier, leave the room, and repeat until he's asleep. This normally doesn't take long, 5-10 minutes at the most. The problem is that my 2yo has now turned this time into a game. When I go to soothe the baby he runs into the baby's room and with the biggest smirk on his face shouts things like, SHHHH, baby nigh night, or NO NO! I try to keep my cool and not show how upset it makes me when he interrupts the process, but I'm clearly failing because he's mocking my efforts! I tried not saying anything and just remove him from the room but that turned into an even bigger game in which he runs into the room and when I move towards him he shouts NO NO and runs back and forth down the hallway. I'm truly at a loss for how to handle this situation. Do I need to resort to crating him during nap time? (Just kidding!!!!)

 

[Puppmom]

Crate sounds like a plan to me!

What if you let him to do something that he really enjoys during this time? For N, that would be watching one of his favorite videos on my phone.

Don't you hate when they do things with that little bit of devil in their eyes because they KNOW it's getting to you?

 

[blessedchik]

How about a little diversion?
Tell him to play the 'quiet' game, reward with favorites, or get him some new books? As the other poster mentioned, let him have 'his time' like watching a 5 minute clip, or let this be his snack time? Worst cast scenario? You could let him come in, keep a mat on the floor, and it's everyone's naptime. Sounds like to me, he just wants mom and a little extra attention, and perhaps even including him in the process, he'll see what a part he can play? He can even HELP put brother down, by laying down and playing the quiet game to see if little brother goes down first...and be rewarded for that as well..more like a 'group' effort?
And after naptime? Remind him how good he did, what a BIG helper he was, and reward as you see fit! Just a couple of thoughts...

 

[Kunzite]

Crate sounds like a plan to me!

What if you let him to do something that he really enjoys during this time? For N, that would be watching one of his favorite videos on my phone.

Don't you hate when they do things with that little bit of devil in their eyes because they KNOW it's getting to you?

Right?! That smirk is the worst because it shows intent! But it's so cute at the same time. The same with the pointing and emphatically saying no NO! Adorable even if it does make me want to cry at the same time

I've tried distracting him with watching Cat in the Hat videos on the iPad and it was working for awhile until he realized this game was much more fun. Today I tried taking him out of the baby's room and telling him I was taking the iPad away. You can guess how that went... He laughed at me and ran away. Oy!

 

[Kunzite]

How about a little diversion?
Tell him to play the 'quiet' game, reward with favorites, or get him some new books? As the other poster mentioned, let him have 'his time' like watching a 5 minute clip, or let this be his snack time? Worst cast scenario? You could let him come in, keep a mat on the floor, and it's everyone's naptime. Sounds like to me, he just wants mom and a little extra attention, and perhaps even including him in the process, he'll see what a part he can play? He can even HELP put brother down, by laying down and playing the quiet game to see if little brother goes down first...and be rewarded for that as well..more like a 'group' effort?
And after naptime? Remind him how good he did, what a BIG helper he was, and reward as you see fit! Just a couple of thoughts...

I tried the "helping" route too and that's where he got the SHHHHHH from. I can't get him to understand being quiet. Is that something he should understand at this age? I feel like he should but I haven't figured out how to teach him apparently.

 

[Puppmom]

Smart boy! What if you *welcome* his help? A little reverse psychology? Maybe say, "Can you help mommy give M or E his paci back? He needs it to sleep."

 

[mama_monkey]

I've been thinking about this a lot -- 22 months is hard b/c they can't quite reason yet (or anyways, compared to 4 years olds, which is what I'm dealing with now)

but can you set up a reward system? I cant remember what is possible for this age group now, but is it possible to let him know that his behavior is unhelpful or undesirable, and then explain what you would like him to do (i.e. stay in his room or not go into the twins' room or whatever), and then offer him something small -- one m & m or one sticker or something -- every time he succeeds?

I didn't do this, but someone told me that's how they potty trained, too!

 

[pavelover]

Kunzite,
I just wanted to say I commiserate as my son has been acting out and its driving me bonkers. I think 2 is too early to really "get" being quiet- Does he nap? Could you put him down first? Wouldn't that be an easy solution? haha. If only it would work. I got some flack for this before and I don't know how big your place is (maybe if he cried baby couldn't sleep anyway) but could you put him in his room with a baby gate? Or shut the door? I think the baby gate is fine but some people didn't seem to like it and thought the child should always be able to get out of the room ? If he won't sleep maybe you can enforce "quiet time" and make it seem like a privilege since the little ones "have" to sleep. good luck and I'll be curious to see how it goes.

 

[Rosebloom]

I am VERY familiar with this kind of situation! I certainly have no magic answers but I've found that sometimes I just have to shake things up to get him to forget old antics. Maybe try napping in the car or stroller for a few days? Or if you're traveling at the holidays I've always found that a trip to Grandma's house shakes up our routine so much many bad habits dissolve.

But I will say when my son turned three it was an incredible and almost immediate transformation into the sweetest calmest little boy again. So hang in there!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Does he like TV?

I don't let my kids watch much, but when I had to be with my baby I would put on a show for my older son and then I would lock the baby gate at the top of the stairs so at least he could not interrupt easily. He usually just stayed watching the TV.

That age is really tough, it is unfortunately too much to expect a 22 month old to stay away from you while you are with your baby! Jealousy, curiosity, fun, but also just the urge to BE with you... anyways, TV, or another really desired commodity is what I would do. As he gets older, he will just read a book or color while you are with the baby. But at 22 months -- I call is the wild animal age -- whatever works was my modus operandus.

 

[Kunzite]

Does he like TV?

I don't let my kids watch much, but when I had to be with my baby I would put on a show for my older son and then I would lock the baby gate at the top of the stairs so at least he could not interrupt easily. He usually just stayed watching the TV.

That age is really tough, it is unfortunately too much to expect a 22 month old to stay away from you while you are with your baby! Jealousy, curiosity, fun, but also just the urge to BE with you... anyways, TV, or another really desired commodity is what I would do. As he gets older, he will just read a book or color while you are with the baby. But at 22 months -- I call is the wild animal age -- whatever works was my modus operandus.

Thank you so much for confirming it's too much to expect. He's very good at pretending he doesn't understand some things he doesn't want to do so I'm always second guessing myself about whether he actually understands!

I have no idea how we came to this place but he currently runs down the hall and just stands quietly at the door waiting for me. Success! (For now!!)

 

[Kunzite]

Smart boy! What if you *welcome* his help? A little reverse psychology? Maybe say, "Can you help mommy give M or E his paci back? He needs it to sleep."

pupp, this actually made me laugh! Oliver's idea of giving the baby his binky is to poke them all over the face with it

 

[Puppmom]

Smart boy! What if you *welcome* his help? A little reverse psychology? Maybe say, "Can you help mommy give M or E his paci back? He needs it to sleep."

pupp, this actually made me laugh! Oliver's idea of giving the baby his binky is to poke them all over the face with it

I guess I forgot about the difficulty toddlers have with being gentle!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Smart boy! What if you *welcome* his help? A little reverse psychology? Maybe say, "Can you help mommy give M or E his paci back? He needs it to sleep."

pupp, this actually made me laugh! Oliver's idea of giving the baby his binky is to poke them all over the face with it

Just wait. When Ryder was a little bit older that I think your babies are -- like, 3-4 months -- and Hunter was 2.5, Hunter's favourite thing to do was to ride Ryder like a pony or "hug" him by laying on top of him on the floor! It was funny, and at the same time I was thinking, "This is evolution, the Lizard brain says "kill all competitors!""

Now at 4 years old they are much better together physically.

 

[Sabine]

My ds was 26 months when my dd was born. Once she was on a somewhat regular nap schedule, I used tv shows to keep ds entertained while I had to rock her to sleep. This was 2x a day for a while unless my husband was home early (and then he deployed so I occasionally had a babysitter). This is one of the reasons I sleep trained dd at 5.5 months so that I could stop relying on the tv so much, but 2 shows a day didn't hurt...I also picked shows that had 2 mini-episodes so if I was done before the 1st was over, he didn't watch the 2nd half.