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Strange Engagement Dreams

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blueroses

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So, I know several of us have had strange engagement dreams and I had one last night, so I thought I'd start a new thread.

So in my dream, my dear bf proposes to me. I don't remember the circumstances, but just that it was very mellow, casual, kind of sudden, and I think both of our families were in the vicinity--maybe it was a holiday? Anyway, the ring was just weird. Not ugly, actually, but different. It was kind of "bar"-shaped, like not really a solitaire, more of a big antique-y looking cluster in platinum. It was from T&Co (weird enough, b/c that's not happening) and the stones were nice--I mean, it was a nice ring. So the biggest central stone is in platinum, but it has these funky, like, gold threads kind of coming out and surrounding it?

Anyway, that's not even the really odd part. So I am so excited, we start telling people, it's great. I go on-line, and go immediately to my girls on the FLIW thread, of COURSE, and post that hey, I can be crossed off the list, I'm engaged, yay, hurray!! Here's where the weird stuff happens. I am auto-logged-in to PS in real life when I go on. So in the dream , I post my news and then leave the computer. In the meantime, a jerky friend of my EX (???) gets on the computer--I'm still logged into PS, mind you--and starts posting these awful, gross, obnoxious, pornographic posts, but still logged in as me!! So when I figure out what's happened, I am in a panic--how do I figure out how to explain to the LIW that all these obscene comments weren't me, what do I do, etc, and then....I wake up.

Huh???!!! Maybe I have fears that--even though I'm going back to CA and bf and I will be back in the same place, and *hopefully* be moving much closer to engagement--that somehow it will all go bad afterwards? Like, a fear of be careful what you ask for or something??

SO the ring didn't really look like this, but the shape was kind of similar.

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wcitygirl

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Blueroses -- I agree with your assesment. I would also saythat your dream is also just pointing out how much you value PS and maybe that you value our opinions? :)

I had weird dreams all weekend too. First I dreamt that bf and I were getting engaged and he wanted to use his Grandma''s ring (she died three years ago). So, we went to visit his Grandpa and we were all excited and then his Grandpa pulls out this ring. It''s HUGE, but it''s BLACK. I was horrified and nobody seemed to notice that something wasn''t right with this picture.... Then, we all went out to celebrate at this super chic restaurant. And I''m sitting there and I realize that now is when my dad (who died two years ago) is planning on assasinating me at this dinner. Apparently, it was going to be mob style or something. (Maybe Godfather like when Michael is in the restaurant?) Then I woke up just before it happened.

THEN, the next night, I dreamt that I was being kidnapped and I knew all about the entire plan and I couldn''t do anything about it. That one, surprisingly, was scarier than the first one.

I think I might be stressed about things still being up in the air, that''s all.
 

blueroses

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Yeeks, I agree--that second one sounds scary--like, the awareness of it about to happen the whole time instead of the sudden, oh, THIS is what''s going to happen. Is your bf''s grandmother''s ring a possibility in real life? It''s so funny how the WRONG ring comes up in so many dreams! And no one else in the dream ever sees anything funny about it!!--"Huge and Black"....reminds me of a great photoshopped number back on the original "anxious thread" with a hunk of carbon and a double-mint wrapper band!!

I find dreams fascinating, but don''t really know much about them. I agree that the value of PS and this forum is obviously huge to me b/c that was my first instinct in the dream--to get online and tell everyone! I lost one of my best friends to suicide just under 5 years ago and she pops up in my dreams a few times a year. And, like in your second dream, wcitygirl, there''s this awareness--like, we''re together, but we know she''s going to die. Strange.
 

jenwill

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BlueRoses- Hmmm, interesting. I also had weird ring dreams before I got my boyfriend to agree to let me help pick out what I want.

I would guess your dreams are totally related to moving back home and the reality of this being it...I mean ''it'' in that this is the time where you will see how things really progress in your relationship now that you are going to be living in same area again. Also, even though you want to be home and be with your family and honey, this whole move thing came pretty suddenly, and not from things that you chose. Your dad being ill, and needing some help at his business- I am sure you are glad to help, but this is not a decision that you had a lot of time to internalize before putting it into effect. So you have lost some of the control....and if you are anything like me, even if I know that I want something, if I wasn''t the one to get the ball rolling I get a little stressed.

It is funny how our subconciouses (?) work. As much as I love my honey, and as happy and excited as I am to be moving in with him, I am still a little freaked out inside. I love him, i want to marry him, I know he is the one because at the age of 34 he is the first man I have ever wanted to live with.

But, as soon as we got serious about picking out the ring, I had my first bizarre dream...whammo- same night we had been talking about the future. I dreamt that I was on the way to the wedding site, and realized that I had forgotten to order and send out invites, and that only those in the wedding party knew what was going on. Then I realized that I forgot to arrange for someone to marry us! After I woke up, I was scared that this meant that really I didn''t want to marry him, and that in my dream I had sabotaged the wedding. After some thought (this really worried me!) I realized that it was more the whole ''to do'' of the wedding that I was dreading- ergo I ''forgot'' to invite anyone. Also, it is pretty easy to go online and arrange for someone in the party to get licensed to perform one marriage- and I know that since a friend did that on her wedding day as her officiant flaked. So, I think that was a ''don''t sweat the small stuff'' symbol.

It is scary for our minds to wrap around the idea of FUTURE, because it seems like other people seem so much more sure of their choices. We don''t get to hear the little voices in their heads, to hear their little doubts and worries, so our voices and worries seem like they are not normal. But, everyone is going around with the same voices and same nightmares and it all works out- because we DO know, we just have to trust our guts.

So, i hope that your dream didn''t upset you too much, and know that you are not alone in the ''bizarre dream at major life changing moments'' club. We here in cyber world are a support group that will be unchanged when you move- your friends in NYC who will now be long distance,n and you will be reconnecting with old friends in SD- so definitely use this as a resource to keep at least one thing unchanged while you go through this whole process. And if obscene messages appear here, we will tell jerky friend of Ex to get lost, we want to talk to the real BlueRoses.
 

blueroses

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JenWill, thank you SO much
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I so appreciate your support and kind words. I think you''re right--the timing of this move is so sudden and feels very out of my control, no matter how right it is--and my sub-conscious is reacting to that, I guess.

And you''re SO right....my LIW girls are going to stay right "here" in my same cyber world....maybe the dream was saying that too, that that was the constant, no matter what other changes there are now that the moving forward is *really* going to happen.

(And JW, that self-sabatoge wedding dream must have been so disconcerting!! It is all going to be ok!! Those little head-voices of ours like to make us second-guess ourselves a wee bit!!)


Thanks, girls for the analysis! Ooh, off to watch LOST!!

I
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our Forum!!
 

wcitygirl

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Blueroses, I don''t *think* that my boyfriend''s Grandmother''s ring is an option? The funny thing is that I had never even thought about that in real life! If anyone''s ring would be an option, it would be his mom''s since she died when he was 8?

That''s so funny -- I would love to see that picture -- that''s probably what I had going in the picture!! Hahaha. Acutally, I think it was emerald cut!

Even though that''s an awful tragedy that your friend died, it must be nice to be able to spend time with her in your dreams. After my grandmother died, I used to dream about her all the time and it was sort of comforting. Like getting to spend more time with her? Maybe that sounds weird?

I used to get all worried about my dreams when I was younger because I thought "oh my gosh, what if I''m predicting something awful happening?" (As if I were psychic or something dumb like that....) Then, I realized it was just my subconscious working stuff out while I slept. Phew! :)
 

goldengirl

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aaaaaaaaahahahahhahahaa the HelluvaRock rings!!!
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I remember the original conversation, I was laughing so hard I cried and bf actually TURNED OFF Halo to come out and see what was so dang funny....

I had a bad e-dream once but I think I suppressed it... I can''t remember anything about it now except that the ring was really, REALLY bad and I woke up practically in tears.
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mostlywatching

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I actually posted this a while ago, but didnt'' get any responses. I knew I wasn''t the only one diamond dreaming, so here''s a dream from the graduate LIW perspective:

I know there are a lot of ladies (and gentlemen too) who get so caught up in the whole ring frenzy that it invades your subconscious.  I read all about the ladies in waiting who have had ring-nightmares.  It makes sense when you''re anticipating getting them soon.  But what does it say when you''ve had the ring for months and a ring nightmare pops into your otherwise peaceful evening (other than that you''ve been reading too much Pricescope, that is.)

I dreamt that I waws walking down the street when I noticed one of my sidestones was missing.  I panicked and retraced my steps, and found the diamond a short way back.  I took it and the ring to a jeweler in the mall (eek) and as I was trying to explain the situation to him, he was trying to wrench my hand open to get the ring out.  I tried to tell him that I was holding a loose diamond and I didn''t want to drop it again, but he just kept tugging at my hand until he had it open.  He said it was a quick fix and took my ring and loose sidestone into the back. 

He came back a miute later with what he said was my ring along with a matching brooch (?).  The ring he tried to give me had three light green stones of different shapes (oval, pear and princess) on a band decorated with a black and white diamond (harlequin) pattern.  I told him that wasn''t my ring, but he insisted it was.  I got really angry and told him I wanted MY ring with MY stones to look EXACTLY how it did before the stone fell out.  He got all huffy and said that would take much longer for him to fix.  I said fine, because he still had my stones somewhere and I really didn''t want my fiancee to find out that the ring was broken, since he hadn''t insured it.  (eek!) 

When I woke up, I fully expected to see my ring missing a sidestone, and I was completely relieved to see that not only were all stones intact, but that it wasn''t that weird green-stones monster from my dream.  I told the fiancee and he just laughed at me.  I''m still wondering what it all meant though.  Anyone else still have weird e=ring dreams long after the anxiousness over the proposal has subsided?
 

goldengirl

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mostlywatching--ask me again in a year!
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wcitygirl

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The Fugly Rings -- That''s totally what the ring looked like -- except it was emerald cut. Which is weird since that''s not my ideal cut! Anyway, it would be cool if his mom''s ring would someday be something that was mine. He has a sister, but he''s got a bunch of jewelry boxes in his drawers of his mom''s jewelry -- apparently, his sister didn''t want any of it? There''s one box that''s taped pretty solidly with aged tape -- so I can''t peek!! ;-)

Mostlywatching -- that ring sounds HEINOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is there anything else you''re anxious about -- like wedding plans? Maybe you''re stressed that your wedding won''t be what you want or that you feel like your plans are out of your control? Or, are you afraid that your relationship will be different after you get married or after event xyz happens? I don''t know. It sounds like to me, you feel like something is out of your hands? Just my "expert" (hahahaha) dream analysis.
 

kanne

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had a ring dream last night..it was a shield-type ring, very edwardian and ornate (not my taste at all but not horrible). It fit perfectly and was very comfy..but it was MISSING the center stone!!

hmmmmm? Maybe this means I''d better get off Pricescope and spend some quality time with the honey! Good thing we have a romantic "dinner date" tonight.
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ammayernyc

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I''ve had two dreams about my bf proposing to me. The last one was very weird:

I was at a reunion of some sort, high school I think, and at the end, everyone was given a present. But the presents weren''t actually given to anybody, they were just lying around. So, I''m searching for mine and I can''t find it. I get upset that everyone''s gotten a present but me. Then, my bf appears on stage and says that he has my present and that he has a ''proposal to make me.'' For some reason, this in my mind (or his in the dream) was not the same thing as proposing... weird. However, the scariest part is the ring. Ugly, ugly, ugly. It was yellow gold (which I hate) and the diamond was ''diamond shaped'' but flat and it was held in a tension setting so it was spinning -- sort of like the three bad guys spinning in the glass in the movie Superman. I know if real life my bf would never pick out a ring like this, but it was extremely troubling nonetheless.

As for dreams in general, I have lots of them and usually remember with much detail. Both of my parents have died (my father five years ago today, my mother three years ago last week), and I dream about them a lot. Mostly of my mother. I''ve really only had a couple of dreams about my father. But in all of them, they are alive. And none of them are repeating events that have happened. Not a big fan of dream analysis!
 

blueroses

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amayernyc, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your parents, and I hope that you have loving people around you today on this anniversary (((HUGS))) Take care of yourself!

That ring/reunion dream scenario is fascinating though....a spinning tension ring
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funny!
 

blue_chica

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ammayernyc - I''m so sorry for you and your anniversaries. Like blueroses said, I really hope you are surrounded by people you love. *HUGS*

I don''t know if this qualifies as an engagement anxiety dream or not, but it was hella weird. Earlier this week I had a dream that my mother was getting married to a man who had four vestigial hands coming out of his back. I''d never met the man and was coming into the church right before the ceremony. The guy came up to the front of the church and I saw the hands. I didn''t want to be judgemental, and of course at this point in the dream I was like, oh, that''s why I hadn''t met him yet, she was feeling shy about what I would think. So I went overboard in being accepting, but the whole time I was going "HE''S GOT 6 HANDS!!" Everyone was pretending like things were normal. The funniest thing though was that he played the drums.

Aside from that I didn''t bring any shoes to the wedding. And I had a pair of plastic lips in my mouth. You know, like a pacifier with big red plastic lips on the outside, so when I went to kiss my mom I kind of banged her in the head.
 

goldengirl

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Date: 1/21/2005 1
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4:44 PM
Author: Blue Chica
I don''t know if this qualifies as an engagement anxiety dream or not, but it was hella weird. Earlier this week I had a dream that my mother was getting married to a man who had four vestigial hands coming out of his back. I''d never met the man and was coming into the church right before the ceremony. The guy came up to the front of the church and I saw the hands. I didn''t want to be judgemental, and of course at this point in the dream I was like, oh, that''s why I hadn''t met him yet, she was feeling shy about what I would think. So I went overboard in being accepting, but the whole time I was going ''HE''S GOT 6 HANDS!!'' Everyone was pretending like things were normal. The funniest thing though was that he played the drums.


Aside from that I didn''t bring any shoes to the wedding. And I had a pair of plastic lips in my mouth. You know, like a pacifier with big red plastic lips on the outside, so when I went to kiss my mom I kind of banged her in the head.

LOL--You win the Random Dream of the Day award!!
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blueroses

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seriously! Did he play the drums with all 6 hands? Heehee
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snow_happy

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I think it''s kind of late to respond to this post but since I''m sure many of you out there are still have diamond or e-ring dreams/nightmares I thought I''d share mine. After my bf and I had looked at a few engagement rings but BEFORE I found Pricescope, I had a dream that my bf proposed to me with a ring that had a topaz/citrine type stone and an aquamarine stone but they sat cock-eyed on in the top of the ring... the band itself was very thick and on the side facing outwards(make sense?) there was a skier that was out of control but winking and there was a diamond in the eye of the skier! HOW AWFUL! Ever since then I''ve been paranoid about the ring even though I know my bf has better taste than that!

So ever since then I''ve been doing diamond and ring research..hahah

Other than that I''ve just had dreams about diamonds that are sparkling? but everything is fuzzy. I think it''s just the reflection of all the rings on PS bouncing around my brain at night.
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appletini

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I had one of these the other night too...I guess it wasn''t really all that horrible, but it seemed like it at the time. Since I have been the research freak, in my dream he went ahead and bought a stone that was on my spreadsheet, but it wasn''t what I wanted b/c I still wanted to look at some bigger ones in an I/J color and he didn''t not have the most up to date version on the spreadsheet. I can''t remember what the setting looked like in the dream, but he didn''t consult my preferences on that either.
 

kanne

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the thing is..the wierd dreams don''t stop after you get engaged. My brain is working OT on the perfect wedding gown and now I''m dress dreaming....
 

goldengirl

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Okay, another dream last night so I had to track down this thread.
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I dreamed he bought the ring (from Dillard''s!!
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) and was just holding onto it waiting to propose; my friend started going through his dresser while we were both in the room and she found the ring and started to pull it out. So he proposed right then and there, but the background noise of the street traffic was so loud I couldn''t hear anything that he was saying, I just saw him get down on one knee and present me the ring... of course I said yes anyway!

So, the ring: it was a small center diamond, probably about 1/4 ct?, and very white but very cloudy, like frozen spit cloudy. It was set on a spinner-style ring, and the band underneath had two areas: one princess channel-set diamonds, and on the other side alternating princess and sapphire channel-set rounds. So you could spin the band to change the "look" under the center stone. And he''d bought the matching wring, half-and-half diamonds/diamonds-and-sapphires. And he bought a diamond-and-sapphire bracelet. And then he started pulling out all these diamond-and-sapphire brooches to have me pick my favorite, and they were lovely but I didn''t understand why he''d bought them because I''m not really a brooch kinda girl.

I remember thinking the setting was unique but still lovely, but that I was going to have to approach the subject of returning the center stone to Dillard''s for credit and replacing it with something from WF.
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Then I wore the ring for the rest of my dream. It was so realistic, when I woke up my left finger felt weirdly bare, like that feeling you get when you realize a piece of jewelry you wear all the time is suddenly missing. I had Phantom Ring Syndrome!!
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appletini

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I had two of these this week!

Dream1: This is the worst of the two. My BF and were going to BBB to pick up the ring, but then all of a sudden it was like we were on a reality show. The lady at the store said she''s had my BF fill out a questionaire when were there many months ago and posted it on the internet for people to comment on our relationship. It said how he had said we''d be getting married in March (2005) and the lady told him he shouldn''t marry me since that obviously didn''t happen when he said it would, well the she goes on to say how 2 million people responded to his questionaire and said that we absolutely should not get married. So then the BF breaks up with me while we are supposed to be picking up the ring. Well then he runs off, and all of a sudden were are in a zoo/trailer park (very random) and some of my best friends are there. They tell me that they knew the BF was never going to commit to me, etc. and I was devastated because they never told me their opinions and let me waste my time, etc.

Dream2: I was going to a high end B&M store, and the lobby was all typical jewelry store, but then I walked into a big room that was set up for a seminar, and tons of people were pulling out their lap tops etc, but for some reason it reminded me of gmat prep on a much larger scale. Well as I''m packing up to leave I either checked my email or got a call and it was Lesley at WF saying that they couldn''t make my ring design and that it wasn''t going to happen. I thought it was odd she contacted me b/c I''d been working with Renee. Well then I just decide to have a cathedral setting or something totally different. And then I walked out to my car and it had a flat tire.
 

goldengirl

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Aww, ''tini... what a rotten dream. I hate those kind of dreams, they really shake you to your core.
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anchor31

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Oct 18, 2005
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Oh, a dream thread! I wanted to start one, because I had those strangest dreams!

The night after I posted my ring idea on the "If he proposed right now" thread, I had a dream that I had ordered that ring myself (!) and that it was sent to me in pieces (!!) and I had to build it myself (!!!). I was going to waer it even if my boyfriend hadn''t proposed to me. My family was trying to help me build the ring, and I said I was going to send the box the that nice jewelers we go to when we need things fixed, but my mom said I had to do it myself.

I had others before that, one where he gave me that huge pear shaped pink sapphire (not my style at all) and another one where the only diamonds we could find were black.

I also had a couple of wedding dreams, one last June where my boyfriend proposed in August with a very nice ring and I''d thought we''d wait a year or two to get married, but our families had made plans for December and I had had no say in it. It was in the small church at home. I had my dream dream, we had a great organ player, it was really nice, but incomplete. I had no bridesmaids, we had no wedding rings and there was no reception. Everything happened like they had planned, I felt completely out of control. I didn''t understand why my boyfriend had been in such a hurry to get married all of a sudden. We couldn''t live together even if we were married because I''m away for school. The night after the wedding (for some reason I wasn''t with my new husband), I decided to tell him we''d go buy our wedding rings together when he came over the next day, but when he arrived, he had already bought himself a cheap plastic wedding ring and nothing for me. I told him we''d go buy ourselves real ones before I woke up.

Recently I had a dream that I was looking for venues just for fun, and I found these wonderful gardens close to my home town I went to check it out, and it was perfect! Full of trees and flowers and a gorgeous fountain and it was on the grassy shore of a lake. It was right next to a small church, so I went and asked the priest if he would agree to marry us just outside of his church (my boyfriend and I are both baptized catholics, and we are very disappointed that only weddings performed inside a church are recognized by the Church, because we believe in God, but are big nature lovers and we want to get married outside) and he agreed. We even set a date. And then I realize my boyfriend hadn’t even proposed…
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Any ideas?

 

appletini

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Date: 11/5/2005 12:19:08 PM
Author: goldengirl
Aww, ''tini... what a rotten dream. I hate those kind of dreams, they really shake you to your core.
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When I woke up it seemed so real. I asked the BF if he really did love me and really wanted to spend forever with me...he said of course why do you always ask me that. I guess its good thing the dream the next night was a much less serious.
 

appletini

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Date: 11/5/2005 1:58:19 PM
Author: anchor31

Oh, a dream thread! I wanted to start one, because I had those strangest dreams!

The night after I posted my ring idea on the ''If he proposed right now'' thread, I had a dream that I had ordered that ring myself (!) and that it was sent to me in pieces (!!) and I had to build it myself (!!!). I was going to waer it even if my boyfriend hadn''t proposed to me. My family was trying to help me build the ring, and I said I was going to send the box the that nice jewelers we go to when we need things fixed, but my mom said I had to do it myself.

I had others before that, one where he gave me that huge pear shaped pink sapphire (not my style at all) and another one where the only diamonds we could find were black.

I also had a couple of wedding dreams, one last June where my boyfriend proposed in August with a very nice ring and I''d thought we''d wait a year or two to get married, but our families had made plans for December and I had had no say in it. It was in the small church at home. I had my dream dream, we had a great organ player, it was really nice, but incomplete. I had no bridesmaids, we had no wedding rings and there was no reception. Everything happened like they had planned, I felt completely out of control. I didn''t understand why my boyfriend had been in such a hurry to get married all of a sudden. We couldn''t live together even if we were married because I''m away for school. The night after the wedding (for some reason I wasn''t with my new husband), I decided to tell him we''d go buy our wedding rings together when he came over the next day, but when he arrived, he had already bought himself a cheap plastic wedding ring and nothing for me. I told him we''d go buy ourselves real ones before I woke up.

Recently I had a dream that I was looking for venues just for fun, and I found these wonderful gardens close to my home town I went to check it out, and it was perfect! Full of trees and flowers and a gorgeous fountain and it was on the grassy shore of a lake. It was right next to a small church, so I went and asked the priest if he would agree to marry us just outside of his church (my boyfriend and I are both baptized catholics, and we are very disappointed that only weddings performed inside a church are recognized by the Church, because we believe in God, but are big nature lovers and we want to get married outside) and he agreed. We even set a date. And then I realize my boyfriend hadn’t even proposed…
emcrook.gif


Any ideas?

The ring in pieces sounds like a dream that I would have.
 

Layne

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Jan 12, 2005
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145
Not wanting to get your hopes up...I don''t know what your timeline is. I started having very strange engagement dreams about two weeks before DH proposed. I think it was my unconcious knowing it was coming soon, when in my mind we had another 3-6 months before it was going to happen.
 

Shay37

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Mar 1, 2004
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Date: 1/19/2005 7:37:16 PM
Author: wcitygirl
Blueroses -- I agree with your assesment. I would also saythat your dream is also just pointing out how much you value PS and maybe that you value our opinions? :)

I had weird dreams all weekend too. First I dreamt that bf and I were getting engaged and he wanted to use his Grandma''s ring (she died three years ago). So, we went to visit his Grandpa and we were all excited and then his Grandpa pulls out this ring. It''s HUGE, but it''s BLACK. I was horrified and nobody seemed to notice that something wasn''t right with this picture.... Then, we all went out to celebrate at this super chic restaurant. And I''m sitting there and I realize that now is when my dad (who died two years ago) is planning on assasinating me at this dinner. Apparently, it was going to be mob style or something. (Maybe Godfather like when Michael is in the restaurant?) Then I woke up just before it happened.

THEN, the next night, I dreamt that I was being kidnapped and I knew all about the entire plan and I couldn''t do anything about it. That one, surprisingly, was scarier than the first one.

I think I might be stressed about things still being up in the air, that''s all.
Perhaps this is because you know of his plans, but you have no control over them either to speed them up or slow them down. BF will do what he will do and when. You only know it''s coming, but apart from that, it is completely out of your control. Just a thought

shay
 

Shay37

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 1, 2004
Messages
3,343
Good grief, disregard last post. That''s what I get for not reading all the way down and not noticing the date. don''t hate me because I''m a ditz.
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shay
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
7,074
Date: 11/5/2005 12:19:08 PM
Author: goldengirl
Aww, ''tini... what a rotten dream. I hate those kind of dreams, they really shake you to your core.
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In September, I had a dream that my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to meet other people before getting married. When I woke up I was crying like a baby, until I realize it hadn''t even happened...

Ironically enough, that morning he sent me an E-mail saying he dreamed that he had proposed to me and he woke up feeling insanely happy, until he realized he hadn''t done it!
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