Is it common now to have a baby shower with every child?

[Calliecake]

A friend of mine had a baby shower last year with her first child. She is having her second child soon and I just received an invitation to attend a shower. The new baby is the same sex as her first child. Both babies will be born in the same month so I would think she would be able to use the clothes from her first baby. Many of the items on her registry are the same as for her first child. Is this common now?

 

[kenny]

If I had kids I'd make sure they all took showers.

 

[momhappy]

I wouldn't say it's common, but yes, some people do. I didn't want to have one for my second child, but my friends insisted. I paired up with another pregnant friend (who shared the same circle of friends) and we had a joint shower so that we could all celebrate together.

 

[packrat]

I didn't. I can see if there were a large space between them, having another. Mine were a little over 3 years apart and different genders. I just saw it is an attention/gift grabber thing-people brought things to the hospital or stopped by the house to hold him and bring diapers or an outfit or whatever. That's just me tho. I've seen people do it for three four and five kids.

 

[diamondringlover]

I did have 2 showers however my kids are 11 years apart, I had nothing for the second one.

 

[distracts]

Huh, I haven't ever seen anyone having a baby shower for subsequent children. Post-birth I've seen people having sip-and-sees so you can see the baby, but those aren't gift parties.

 

[Calliecake]

I did have 2 showers however my kids are 11 years apart, I had nothing for the second one.

I completely understand this.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Everyone I know has only had one. I could even understand a second if the baby was a different gender. It is nice to have people give you handmade gifts though. I had people give me some for each of my kids and I treasure them. Of course, that was about a million years ago though!

 

[packrat]

Everyone I know has only had one. I could even understand a second if the baby was a different gender. It is nice to have people give you handmade gifts though. I had people give me some for each of my kids and I treasure them. Of course, that was about a million years ago though!

Me too-I've got two handmade blankets given to me when London was born. I wish Trapper had gotten some.

 

[momhappy]

Do moms-to-be really have a choice in the matter? Showers are typically planned by friends and/or family, so if someone offers to throw a shower, can a mom-to-be turn down the offer and how might that be perceived? I guess that'a why I don't perceive showers for subsequent babies as an attention/gift grabby thing - because a mom-to-be doesn't throw her own shower, but rather her friends/family do.

 

[KaeKae]

Do moms-to-be really have a choice in the matter? Showers are typically planned by friends and/or family, so if someone offers to throw a shower, can a mom-to-be turn down the offer and how might that be perceived? I guess that'a why I don't perceive showers for subsequent babies as an attention/gift grabby thing - because a mom-to-be doesn't throw her own shower, but rather her friends/family do.

Technically, you are right. In fact, traditional etiquette was that the mom's family should not host, either, only friends, because it is an event asking guests to bring gifts. However, if our friends and family are any indication, lately it appears that the moms-to-be are often part of the planning, so yes, she could decline the idea.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

A lot of people are doing this now, I live in NY. Most are calling it a "sprinkle" and not a full on shower, there usually is no registry or a small one. Mostly just a few things for the new baby, nothing major. I still don't like it, lol. I spend a lot less on these sprinkles than I do for first baby showers. I'm having my first baby and there will be a shower, probably more than one. I do not plan on any subsequent showers for future babies. To celebrate future babies I would rather a small gathering after the baby is born, no gifts needed, a "sip and see".

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Seems to be. Personally I don't like it unless the kids are VERY far apart. I have been to several showers where the kids are same sex and only a few years apart. What possibly could they need? I have been to a few "sprinkles" too. Not a full blown shower.

 

[Niel]

No it is not. At least not here.

 

[amc80]

Seems to be. Personally I don't like it unless the kids are VERY far apart. I have been to several showers where the kids are same sex and only a few years apart. What possibly could they need? I have been to a few "sprinkles" too. Not a full blown shower.

It's becoming a pet peeve of mine. We bought all gender neutral stuff even though we knew we were having a boy. It's not our friends' jobs to buy us new stuff. I've heard the argument that all babies should be celebrated. But, the entire point of a shower is presents. So celebrate the baby, but put "no gifts" on the invitation.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Seems to be. Personally I don't like it unless the kids are VERY far apart. I have been to several showers where the kids are same sex and only a few years apart. What possibly could they need? I have been to a few "sprinkles" too. Not a full blown shower.

It's becoming a pet peeve of mine. We bought all gender neutral stuff even though we knew we were having a boy. It's not our friends' jobs to buy us new stuff. I've heard the argument that all babies should be celebrated. But, the entire point of a shower is presents. So celebrate the baby, but put "no gifts" on the invitation.

Yes celebrations are completely different. Host a party. To expect other people to do it (and give you gifts) is annoying.

 

[Laila619]

Yes, and I think it's pretty tacky, honestly. You can celebrate each baby without having a shower.

 

[CJ2008]

It's not our friends' jobs to buy us new stuff. I've heard the argument that all babies should be celebrated. But, the entire point of a shower is presents. So celebrate the baby, but put "no gifts" on the invitation.

+1

 

[PintoBean]

For the first child I've seen big catered events. For the remix, something at home and more intimate.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

My daughter was given a "sprinkle" for her second child (same sex as the first) by her best friends. We ate at a restaurant and she was given a few gifts. Nursery was a different color and there were some things she needed. In addition, our church gives a "dipes, wipes, and swipes" (diapers, wipes, and gift cards) to welcome every new baby. I think that is helpful and appreciated by everyone.

 

[ccuheartnurse]

I'm not used to a 2nd shower & I work ( & have worked with mainly women for 24yrs of my career) to know that a 2nd shower is a bit over the top. Why a 2nd shower? The only reason, IMO for a 2nd shower, is that a significant time has lapsed from 1st to 2nd or 3rd etc..or if the 1st childs items are no longer safe or too worn to be used. I don't follow the gender colours...ie...only boys use "boys stuff" or girls "use girls stuff" etc. My neice used everything her brother used..no issue there. Kids don't know the difference..only the adults too.

Judy

 

[momhappy]

Do moms-to-be really have a choice in the matter? Showers are typically planned by friends and/or family, so if someone offers to throw a shower, can a mom-to-be turn down the offer and how might that be perceived? I guess that'a why I don't perceive showers for subsequent babies as an attention/gift grabby thing - because a mom-to-be doesn't throw her own shower, but rather her friends/family do.

Technically, you are right. In fact, traditional etiquette was that the mom's family should not host, either, only friends, because it is an event asking guests to bring gifts. However, if our friends and family are any indication, lately it appears that the moms-to-be are often part of the planning, so yes, she could decline the idea.

I was not aware that moms-to-be are often part of the planning process.
I guess none of this really bothers me all that much. If someone wants to host a subsequent shower (or even throw one themselves), I can choose to attend or not attend, so I don't see the big deal.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Do moms-to-be really have a choice in the matter? Showers are typically planned by friends and/or family, so if someone offers to throw a shower, can a mom-to-be turn down the offer and how might that be perceived? I guess that'a why I don't perceive showers for subsequent babies as an attention/gift grabby thing - because a mom-to-be doesn't throw her own shower, but rather her friends/family do.

Technically, you are right. In fact, traditional etiquette was that the mom's family should not host, either, only friends, because it is an event asking guests to bring gifts. However, if our friends and family are any indication, lately it appears that the moms-to-be are often part of the planning, so yes, she could decline the idea.

I was not aware that moms-to-be are often part of the planning process.
I guess none of this really bothers me all that much. If someone wants to host a subsequent shower (or even throw one themselves), I can choose to attend or not attend, so I don't see the big deal.

And that's the bottom line. If I know the person and care about them, I will get them a baby gift regardless of whether there is a shower for #2+ or not. I will happily attend a shower because I love them. If I am invited to a shower for a distant acquaintance (which I can't really say has ever happened) I wouldn't attend or feel obligated to give a gift.

I definitely think there is a difference today with most people finding out the sex of the baby in advance. My daughter had a girl first and was given beautiful baby girl clothing and accessories and the nursery was decorated for a girl. If she ever has a boy, she will need all new clothes. So I can absolutely see justification for a shower if the sex of the second baby is different than the first. But again, if you aren't close enough to really care about the person, just decline and forget about it!

 

[VRBeauty]

Where I worked, we routinely threw welcome parties for baby #2. These were usually potlucks, and always gift optional. But generally we only pooled money for a "big gift" for the first baby.

 

[momhappy]

Do moms-to-be really have a choice in the matter? Showers are typically planned by friends and/or family, so if someone offers to throw a shower, can a mom-to-be turn down the offer and how might that be perceived? I guess that'a why I don't perceive showers for subsequent babies as an attention/gift grabby thing - because a mom-to-be doesn't throw her own shower, but rather her friends/family do.

Technically, you are right. In fact, traditional etiquette was that the mom's family should not host, either, only friends, because it is an event asking guests to bring gifts. However, if our friends and family are any indication, lately it appears that the moms-to-be are often part of the planning, so yes, she could decline the idea.

I was not aware that moms-to-be are often part of the planning process.
I guess none of this really bothers me all that much. If someone wants to host a subsequent shower (or even throw one themselves), I can choose to attend or not attend, so I don't see the big deal.

And that's the bottom line. If I know the person and care about them, I will get them a baby gift regardless of whether there is a shower for #2+ or not. I will happily attend a shower because I love them. If I am invited to a shower for a distant acquaintance (which I can't really say has ever happened) I wouldn't attend or feel obligated to give a gift.

I definitely think there is a difference today with most people finding out the sex of the baby in advance. My daughter had a girl first and was given beautiful baby girl clothing and accessories and the nursery was decorated for a girl. If she ever has a boy, she will need all new clothes. So I can absolutely see justification for a shower if the sex of the second baby is different than the first. But again, if you aren't close enough to really care about the person, just decline and forget about it!

Yes, I agree - if it's someone I care about, I buy a gift for all of their babies (no matter how many they have), shower or no shower

 

[telephone89]

People just get greedier and greedier.

If you don't want a shower, you can obviously decline. A shower is a gift giving event (ie shower you with gifts), so to me it does come across greedy. Add that to the fact that there are some people who are only 'planning' a shower because they were told to by the mother, or the mother is planning it herself and passing it off to someone else, then that's even worse.

 

[star sparkle]

This thread is very timely for me. I've just been invited to a "sprinkle" shower for the second baby of someone I wouldn't really consider a close friend, more like we're just friendly with each other because of circumstance (the wife of one of my DH's friends). I did attend the shower of their first baby less than 2.5 years ago and spent a decent amount on gifts, but I'm really just irked and annoyed by this latest invitation. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've had a real conversation with this person since even that first baby shower, so I'm just not going to go.

 

[packrat]

Well if we want to get right down to brass tacks about it-shouldn't matter if you have babies of different genders or not, b/c it's not anyone else's responsibility to provide for your child. If people want to get something for a 2nd or 3rd etc child, they can, nobody is stopping them. *Generally* you don't need as much stuff for subsequent children b/c you'd still have a high chair etc-unless you were one who wanted all girl stuff and then you had a boy next, which again, it shouldn't be anyone else's responsibility. Give or don't. Go or don't.

 

[amc80]

Well if we want to get right down to brass tacks about it-shouldn't matter if you have babies of different genders or not, b/c it's not anyone else's responsibility to provide for your child. If people want to get something for a 2nd or 3rd etc child, they can, nobody is stopping them. *Generally* you don't need as much stuff for subsequent children b/c you'd still have a high chair etc-unless you were one who wanted all girl stuff and then you had a boy next, which again, it shouldn't be anyone else's responsibility. Give or don't. Go or don't.

My point exactly!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Well if we want to get right down to brass tacks about it-shouldn't matter if you have babies of different genders or not, b/c it's not anyone else's responsibility to provide for your child. If people want to get something for a 2nd or 3rd etc child, they can, nobody is stopping them. *Generally* you don't need as much stuff for subsequent children b/c you'd still have a high chair etc-unless you were one who wanted all girl stuff and then you had a boy next, which again, it shouldn't be anyone else's responsibility. Give or don't. Go or don't.

My point exactly!

I also agree. Different sexes shouldn't matter. I only understand if there is a large age gap. Someone mentioned just not attend. I think a great deal depends on the culture of your work environment. It doesn't always *seem* like a choice.