"Boyfriend"

[MBKRH]

How do you ladies feel about this term?

Here's my deal. I'm 30. I've been with my guy for almost a year and a half (well, in December, but meh...close enough)
I HATE calling him my boyfriend. It sounds so juvenille. I'm the only unmarried at my job, so I just always refer to him by name. But I don't know what to call him otherwise.

I don't like "partner", or "other half/better half" and I'm not too big on SO, but I guess I COULD use that term. It never bothered me up until recently, and I thought "Wow, when I talk about M as my boyfriend, I feel so..... 14 again!" lol.

What do you ladies call your guy?

 

[LJL]

I call him boyfriend If Im applying for a job, I say fiance.

Call a spade a spade, I think!

 

[MBKRH]

I call him boyfriend If Im applying for a job, I say fiance.

Call a spade a spade, I think!

When we were apartment hunting, we used "fiance/fiancee", as we were taken more seriously by property managers.


But, I suppose you're right. I dunno. I just am tired of the status, label... whatever you want to call it.


I suppose he could be "manfriend."

 

[texaskj]

You feel silly saying boyfriend and you're 30? Try it when you're 49!

 

[MBKRH]

I can imagine it doesn't sound any better the older you get......

 

[texaskj]

I usually use his name or if it's strangers, husband. He does the same thing. I feel like a boob saying boyfriend.

 

[MBKRH]

I usually use his name or if it's strangers, husband. He does the same thing. I feel like a boob saying boyfriend.

I hear ya, I do the same. Minus the "husband" part. Although, I may have once or twice used "hubby."
I've called myself "wifey" on occasion, until his dad saw it on fb, and was like "wifey?!" Then I had to explain how it was just an expression.... Or at least, I thought it was. LOL

 

[madelise]

I usually use his name or if it's strangers, husband. He does the same thing. I feel like a boob saying boyfriend.

I hear ya, I do the same. Minus the "husband" part. Although, I may have once or twice used "hubby."
I've called myself "wifey" on occasion, until his dad saw it on fb, and was like "wifey?!" Then I had to explain how it was just an expression.... Or at least, I thought it was. LOL

I can't do the hubby/wifey thing. I see too many people on my FB do it, to their 2 week long relationship partners. I've seen this even back when we were in middleschool/highschool during the Myspace and AIM days.

I actually recently (in the last few months) just ranted to my BF that I don't like the BF/GF thing because of all those idiots that have their BF/GF flavors of the week. Facebook and all its "in a relationship" "it's complicated" "is single" crap makes me realize how little "boyfriend/girlfriend" actually means. However, I still can't kick the habit of "boyfriend". I think I'll still call him "boyfriend" even after we're engaged. "Fiance" sounds very… hoity toity. Have ya'll seen the episode of Seinfeld? The Dingo episode? http://youtu.be/04ueFND7JT4

I prefer "life partner". I use SO (and say it in my head as S.O. initials) online, but don't like "significant other". What makes him more significant than myself? I'm the significant one Same with "better half". Nope, that's me, too!

My work's demographic program has the different relationship titles available for choice: the different family members, unknown, friend, warden of the court, conservator, or life partner. I stuck to that. I like life partner. He's obviously more than just a friend and def more than just my flavor of the week!






Funny, I totally thought I was being an anal ******* that I usually am, and that I was being crazy. I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks too much into the "boyfriend" label.

 

[gem_anemone]

I felt the same way before I got married this year (I'm 32). "Boyfriend" does seem kind of juvenile because when you are making a life with him, living with him, etc it is definitely more than a "boyfriend/girlfriend" situation. I'm surprised there isn't a different term for this by now! "Domestic partner" and "significant other" are just plain way too unromantic and too much of a mouthful. I also just referred to my husband by his name, "boyfriend", "my man" or "my dude" before we were engaged depending on who I was talking to. I also agree that "fiance" comes off as annoying because if you call him that then other people think you are trying to incorporate "wedding" into the conversation even if you are not.

However, I find it also juvenile to say "husband", "wife" or any permutation of it when the couple is not legally married. It comes off as trying to claim something that you didn't actually commit to or go through with aside from personal conversations. It's off-putting to me. I have some friends that do that on FB and I get irritated reading it. One couple that does it is finally engaged though. Now they call each other "fiance". Kind of backwards...

 

[Ravenne]

I tend to say boyfriend in public. We're still young enough that people don't think anything of it. But I agree it doesn't sound right to me. In my own head, I tend to simplify it to "mate." But I don't say that out loud because I know people would give me weird looks. He knows that's how I think of him and he's referred to me the same way before. He tends to say "partner" or "lover" though. Again, only in private.

I had one friend say he was my "person." That sums it up. LOL

I think we'll make the transition to fiance(e) easily, but I guess we won't really know until we cross that bridge.

 

[BeautyQueen]

When we first started dating i called him "therob" , now i just refer to him as my boyfriend or his last name ... or the ball and chain. I am excited about him becoming my fiance i just don't know if i will remember to call him that.

 

[pandabee]

we are still young as well so boyfriend doesn't seem too "juvenile" for us yet...but I do sometimes feel awkward referring to him as "my boyfriend" vs. his actual name when talking about him to other people. when I say "my bf" I feel like I'm just gushing about him (which I usually am) like a little girl. also I worked with this one girl who would ALWAYS talk about her SO but pretty much every other word was my boyfriend this, my boyfriend that, and it just got really annoying. like she was just so proud of the fact that she had a boyfriend period. so that also makes me conscious in the back of my mind of always coming across that way.

I like "my person" though! reminds me of grey's anatomy hehe.

 

[LJL]

I have a little funny for you guys -
I dont call him by a description v often, ppl know who im talking about -but if I have to refer to him, I very ridiculously say "the love of my life". People find it funny. So "Hey wheres the love of my life?" That happens often.

....AND ONE TIME, I was hammered and couldn't find him at a serious public function - I ran around screaming "WHERES MY SUN AND STARS?!" .... if you watch Game of Thrones, you know. If not, I look just a cray-cray.

 

[Chewbacca]

Hmm, tricky! I personally think that partner is the least offensive, its short and to the point! And implies you have a 'mature' relationship. I've heard it used by married and unmarried couples.

I don't really talk about SO to people who don't know him. And if I do, I just say his name anyway, or 'my boyfriend'. I'm still in that age bracket, so it doesn't make me feel like a twerp. I would feel like one saying any of the other options!

But on saying that, sometimes I do feel like I'm a tweenager when I say boyfriend. Can't win! By our names it is!

 

[Asu]

I have a little funny for you guys -
I dont call him by a description v often, ppl know who im talking about -but if I have to refer to him, I very ridiculously say "the love of my life". People find it funny. So "Hey wheres the love of my life?" That happens often.

....AND ONE TIME, I was hammered and couldn't find him at a serious public function - I ran around screaming "WHERES MY SUN AND STARS?!" .... if you watch Game of Thrones, you know. If not, I look just a cray-cray.

buahbuahbuahbuahuah I'm dying here! if he also looks like Drogo,you are a lucky,lucky girl...

 

[BeautyQueen]

I have a little funny for you guys -
I dont call him by a description v often, ppl know who im talking about -but if I have to refer to him, I very ridiculously say "the love of my life". People find it funny. So "Hey wheres the love of my life?" That happens often.

....AND ONE TIME, I was hammered and couldn't find him at a serious public function - I ran around screaming "WHERES MY SUN AND STARS?!" .... if you watch Game of Thrones, you know. If not, I look just a cray-cray.

This just made my morning lol ... side note i feel like we all enjoy a glass of wine and by glass i mean bottle

 

[LJL]

LOL he looks NOTHING like Drogo.... more like Viserys or Jorah if I HAD to pick a GoT character, only bc SO is so so so light-complected. The best comparison Ive heard is a young Keifer Sutherland hahhaha

So many of my friends that were there read GoT and they still talk about it sometimes and how absurd it was.

On a side note, Im a liquor girl. Beer is tolerable, wine is... unbearable

 

[gatorblue]

I prefer "life partner". I use SO (and say it in my head as S.O. initials) online, but don't like "significant other". What makes him more significant than myself? I'm the significant one Same with "better half". Nope, that's me, too!

HAHA! I like the way you think!

 

[madelise]

I prefer "life partner". I use SO (and say it in my head as S.O. initials) online, but don't like "significant other". What makes him more significant than myself? I'm the significant one Same with "better half". Nope, that's me, too!

HAHA! I like the way you think!

oh, and you betcha SO totally knows, too!

 

[audball]

I felt the same way before I got married this year (I'm 32). "Boyfriend" does seem kind of juvenile because when you are making a life with him, living with him, etc it is definitely more than a "boyfriend/girlfriend" situation. I'm surprised there isn't a different term for this by now! "Domestic partner" and "significant other" are just plain way too unromantic and too much of a mouthful. I also just referred to my husband by his name, "boyfriend", "my man" or "my dude" before we were engaged depending on who I was talking to. I also agree that "fiance" comes off as annoying because if you call him that then other people think you are trying to incorporate "wedding" into the conversation even if you are not.

However, I find it also juvenile to say "husband", "wife" or any permutation of it when the couple is not legally married. It comes off as trying to claim something that you didn't actually commit to or go through with aside from personal conversations. It's off-putting to me. I have some friends that do that on FB and I get irritated reading it. One couple that does it is finally engaged though. Now they call each other "fiance". Kind of backwards...

I think this sums up pretty much exactly how I feel about it. Regardless of age (I'm going on 26), boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't just exude commitment and the other options like gem_anemone said, are too much. And I COMPLETELY agree that using husband/wife/hubby/wifey before you're ACTUALLY married is ridiculous.

I don't know that I'm too old to use the terms, it just doesn't reflect how serious we are, especially like because of what madelise pointed out, too many people use them for un-serious relationships.

I usually call him my person...love Grey's.

 

[MayFlowers]

I totally agree that I hate the term boyfriend. I wish there was a middle of the line term. I also don't agree with calling each other hubby/wifey before you're married.

I hardly ever refer to SO as "boyfriend". I always just refer to him by his name. To people I don't know very well, I will usually say "my boyfriend, SO's name," so that then I can refer to him by his name from then on.

 

[LaraOnline]

In Australia, it is most common currently for even very young girls to refer to their boyfriend as their 'partner'.
I imagine they feel it exudes 'maturity'...or perhaps is a hint that they live together...?

but it feels so unfun, and so....'30s divorcee' lol

 

[Dancing Fire]

How do you ladies feel about this term?

Here's my deal. I'm 30. I've been with my guy for almost a year and a half (well, in December, but meh...close enough)
I HATE calling him my boyfriend. It sounds so juvenille. I'm the only unmarried at my job, so I just always refer to him by name. But I don't know what to call him otherwise.

I don't like "partner", or "other half/better half" and I'm not too big on SO, but I guess I COULD use that term. It never bothered me up until recently, and I thought "Wow, when I talk about M as my boyfriend, I feel so..... 14 again!" lol.

What do you ladies call your guy?

my LOVER...

 

[monarch64]

I wouldn't call him anything several years ago when we met. I'd already been married, and we were both in our 30's. I called him "fiance" once we were engaged.

If you aren't comfortable saying "boyfriend," then don't say it. Introduce him as your man, your favorite person, your friend, your sweetheart, your best friend, whatever he is to you at the time. It really shouldn't be a point of stress in your life.

 

[AmeliaG]

I met an 80 year old lady that referred to her 'gentleman friend.' It was so cute but definitely for a much older crowd!

 

[missy]

I met an 80 year old lady that referred to her 'gentleman friend.' It was so cute but definitely for a much older crowd!

When you're 80 I do think "gentleman friend" sounds much better than "boyfriend". For any younger age group I think boyfriend sounds fine. I don't care for partner too much. I agree with Lara- it seems so unromantic.

And I think it's confusing to refer to your boyfriend as husband/hubby/fiance if you're not married or engaged. It seems like you are trying to be something that you're not. But that's just my thought on that issue. If it works for you it's good.

 

[pandabee]

I met an 80 year old lady that referred to her 'gentleman friend.' It was so cute but definitely for a much older crowd!

Awww that's adorable. I think if a younger person said that it would sound like you were up to no good. Haha idk that's just the picture I have in mind, first thing that came up!

 

[antiquesparkler]

I met an 80 year old lady that referred to her 'gentleman friend.' It was so cute but definitely for a much older crowd!

Love this!

I am okay with 'boyfriend' until someone at work has known a guy for a week and calls him her boyfriend. Ugh!

Oh well, I hope to not have to call him boyfriend much longer.

I also like the idea of calling him whatever strikes me at the time.... sweetheart, best friend, favorite person... etc.

 

[wakingdreams53]

Just became "official" with the guy I've been dating 8 months. Weird to call him boyfriend rather than "guy I'm dating" lol, I honestly don't see the point of a title anymore (maybe I matured or something ). Anywhere we go he introduces me by my name and in context refers to me as his girl. So far so good

 

[MBKRH]

Just became "official" with the guy I've been dating 8 months. Weird to call him boyfriend rather than "guy I'm dating" lol, I honestly don't see the point of a title anymore (maybe I matured or something ). Anywhere we go he introduces me by my name and in context refers to me as his girl. So far so good

Congrats! Isn't it wonderful when it becomes official? I love that stage.



Okay all, when do you think it's appropriate that you can start referring to your SO as "future fiance?" Once he has the ring, once you've seriously talked about being engaged and KNOW it's in the future? Thoughts?