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How much is too much?

Pandora II

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Was wondering about this the other day after visiting my friend and her 15 month-old daughter, and didn't know what the answer is. Anyway, here's the situation:

Her daughter (F) is enormous. She hasn't been weighed since she was 9 months-old and she was 22lbs then, I am guessing that she is around 30lbs now - I can barely pick her up. She also looks a tad more than just chubby. As a tiny baby she was almost on the skinny side - no chubby thigh rolls at all...

D and I went over for lunch and F had been fed by the time we got there. However she had a second lunch with us at 1.30pm - baked potato, cheese, salad and quiche followed by a yoghurt. Then at 2.30pm her mother made her a sandwich in case she was hungry, and an hour after that biscuits and a bottle of milk. At 5pm she had her supper - 4 fish-fingers, sweetcorn & mashed potatoes followed by nearly half a 300ml tub of yoghurt. She then got another bottle before bed at 7pm.

Apparently she has cereal, toast and yoghurt for breakfast plus a bottle of milk, a sandwich mid-morning and then a lunch along the same lines as her supper.

Basically F always has some food item in her hand at all times.

I have a daughter who thinks that most food is poison and getting 2 spoonfuls of yoghurt into her is to be celebrated so I'm not a great judge of what is normal!

F's mother (who is an MD - but admits she knows nothing about paediatrics (she's a GYN/OB)) frets all the time that her daughter might be hungry. Whenever they're over at mine she spend the whole time jumping up to make sandwiches and snacks for her daughter. F eats anything you put in front of her.

I can't help feeling that just because a child eats it, it doesn't mean they were hungry. That there is such a thing as TOO MUCH and you're just making their stomaches expect larger portions.

Am I way off on thinking this due to my kid's mouse-like appetite or is this a bit unhealthy? BTW, I'd never say anything to the mother, I'm just genuinely intrigued as to what is a reasonable quantity of food for a child of that kind of age.
 

Puppmom

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Wow, that seems like a lot of food to me. Some kids have a large appetite but it sounds like she's eating MEALS at SNACK times. Not all of us have an off-switch in our bellies that works well. I know I struggle with that - if food is available, I eat it. So I have to plan out what I'm going to eat for the day and only eat more if I'm hungry. It's actually hard for me to tell if I'm hungry because I always keep full. I suspect that F's *off-switch* probably isn't working well because she doesn't know what it's like to be hungry. On the bright side, it doesn't sound like she's eating junk. I would think a junk food habit is really hard to break.

FWIW, I don't think it's *crazy* to weigh 30 lbs at that age but I guess it depends on how tall she is and if her growth curve is constant etc.
 

partgypsy

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It's more food than my 8 and 4 year olds eat (and they have healthy appetites). It's probably more food than I eat! My 4 year old is 37 pounds and at the 70% for both height and weight for her age, and the 15 month old is only 7 pounds lighter... It seems there is alot of carbohydrates, dairy, high fat items offered. What about hummus, unsweetened apple sauce, pureed sweet potato? Heck my kids loved to munch on cold cooked green beans.

But as another thread showed, it is very tricky territory to tell another mom that they are over or under feeding their child. That kind of information should really come from the pediatrician. I guess you could bring it up and say something like where is she on her height and weight scales? And after she replies (she's off the chart!), suggest why doesn't she bring that up with her doctor what is appropriate, and how much food she should be feeding her.
N
ormally I think of kids being pretty good at regulating their appetite, eating only when hungry. That can change though if extra tasty food is being offered, food is being given for emotional support, or if there are other hormonal things going on (diabetes).
 

partgypsy

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If she is 30 lbs she pretty much is off the chart for a 15 month old. 30 lbs is in the 95% range for a 22 month old, and the 50% for a 33 month old.
But since she hasn't been weighed we are just guessing here. Is she unusually tall, or just "big"?
 

Pandora II

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I'd say she's a bit taller than Daisy so around 31".

I'd never say anything to her. F was (and still is to a fair degree) always sicking up and super-dribby all the time. I suggested once that she might have reflux and to get her checked out - they looked at me like I was crazy and said that all babies are sick all the time (this was when she was 11 months).

Other than the mega-carbs I think it is a pretty healthy diet. Certainly far better than Daisy's - she only really eats curry & rice, fries & ketchup, potato chips and chocolate to my total disgust. Paediatric nutritionist at the hospital just said to give her that if she liked them because at least it was something that got swallowed and hope to add better food in as we go along.

ETA: I'm also an 'eat when you are hungry' type person and rarely snack between meals. WHich is part of why I'm asking if this seems normal way of feeding a kid that age. If I fed Daisy whenever I ate she wouldn't get offered food more than 2-3 times a day, so I try to offer her 3 meals a day and 2 snacks (D doesn't get supper till 8pm so it's a fair gap between the lunch that she doesn't eat :rolleyes: ). She also doesn't ever ask for food other than chocolate.
 

Pandora II

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I hate to say it but she's starting to look a bit like that photo - this is what worries me... that they're thinking she's hungry because she eats what is put in her mouth.

She's also having problems walking as she just falls over everytime she lets go of the furniture. At 15.5 months she's yet to take her first step. Maybe she'll slim down a load once she's more active and she's just big because she rarely moves (she didn't crawl till 11.5 months).

Her parents aren't big people at all - husband is very slim and around 6ft and mother is about a size 12 and 5ft 6". Mother won't take her near any doctors/health visitors etc
 

diva rose

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Pandora|1295970303|2832598 said:
I hate to say it but she's starting to look a bit like that photo - this is what worries me... that they're thinking she's hungry because she eats what is put in her mouth.

She's also having problems walking as she just falls over everytime she lets go of the furniture. At 15.5 months she's yet to take her first step. Maybe she'll slim down a load once she's more active and she's just big because she rarely moves (she didn't crawl till 11.5 months).

Her parents aren't big people at all - husband is very slim and around 6ft and mother is about a size 12 and 5ft 6". Mother won't take her near any doctors/health visitors etc

:o :o :o I would be concerned also if that was the case.

How come her mother won't take her near any doctors/health specialists?
 

Italiahaircolor

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I am not a parent, nor do I have experience with little babies, so you can take all of this with a grain of salt...

But just from reading, I feel like there is a huge lapse in portion control here. F's lunch alone is more than what a grown woman could or should eat in one sitting or maybe even all day. As a doctor, F's mother should be aware that healthy eating habits start young, and filling a child up on fruits and veggies is just as easy as filling them up on starch, carbs and sugars, it's all about choices. Good fuel, like a cup of strawberries, will satisfy a child longer than a cup of sugary yogurt. F may constantly be hungry because her body is craving the nutrition that her current meals aren't providing.

I am extremely surprised that, as a doctor, F's mother won't take her to see a pediatric specialist. I'm guessing it's because she doesn't want to hear what she doesn't want to hear. But the fact is, she's doing her child no favors and potentially setting her daughter up to fail. I believe that parents nutrition choices aren't always reflected in their child's choices--I see that with my friends and their children all the time, so I look at F's parents healthy lifestyle a separate issue. It's great that they are health aware when it comes to themselves, but it floors me that the same isn't projected onto their child.
 

Mara

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Wow that is a LOT of food first off. Our 12mo old will eat a big breakfast and lunch but many times his dinner is not that large as he is tired and just over having to do things. But he's also pretty lean and no real rolls at all to speak of!

It'd be one thing if the kid was skinny because then it would speak to a crazy fast metabolism or that she is getting the activity she should. If I were them I'd focus on feeding her less and helping her be more active. Also if she really is hungry, then feed her more healthy items, things like fish sticks and baked potato if the kid is already holding the weight, are not going to nutritionally help her at all.

I can't believe her parents aren't worried just a little about the size of their daughter and the fact that she is not very active. That is just a recipe for disaster for the rest of her life... eating too much + inactivity will lead to a bad habit for her that will be hard to break.

It is tough to see this because yea you don't want to say anything. But where does the line get drawn.
 

MichelleCarmen

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That's more than my kids eat and they're in elementary school.
 

TravelingGal

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Pandora, I think I started a thread like this about my friend's son. I think we all know it's not a good idea to not say anything, but it doesn't stop us from wondering, does it? ::) I was often genuinely intrigued by things as well.

Hey, I'm jealous that this kid will eat anything because I have a tough eater too. It does sound like a lot of food, but like you, if a kid eats a decent amount, it looks like a lot of food to me! I still look sideways a bit at my friend's son's eating habits, but these kids do grow fast, and in spurts. Saw him over the weekend and his face thinned out yet again and he looks slimmer...his eating habits are still the same. The question is that will the eating catch up at some point? I don't know, but while he could qualify as a bit tubby, he could be skinny tomorrow. Hopefully though, his eating HABITS will somehow manage to be healthy and normal.

Sometimes watching other people's parenting seems like a free freak show, and I'm sure that some days, I'm a freak show as well. I've really learned to just sit back and shrug whatever, and just shake my head in private if it really gets bad.
 

somethingshiny

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I have a giant baby. She is 6 mo old and weighs over 23 lbs. She eats 40 oz a day and has since she was about 2 months old. Some babies have huge appetites.

However, this seems to go beyond a big eater. Mom needs some guidelines on portion sizes. Toddlers do need to eat many small meals a day but what she's eating are big meals all day long. Baby is probably always ready to eat because her tummy is so stretched. Cutting back on food will be hard. Mom also needs to offer water throughout the day.

A friend of mine has a giant little girl. She is 5 yrs old and weighs 100 lbs. She was diagnosed with diabetes after several different doctors wouldn't acknowledge the unusual weight fluctuation. I thin kyour friend should have her daughter checked and then speak to a nutritionist.
 

Dreamer_D

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Hunter is 2 and weighs about 28lbs, average height and weight for his age.

Hunter eats pretty much every two hours, but not such huge amounts I think. It is healthy for kids to eat often, but what we offer certainly matters. We try to keep the mid morning and midafternoon snacks limited to fruit or yogurt, and we limit simple carbs as much as possible. He seems to regulate his apetite on his own, but he does eat portions pretty close to adult size for lunch or dinner some days. He can eat vast amounts of pasta, so we don't offer it more then 2-3 times a week. He could also eat cheese until he exploded.

I do not believe in limiting what a child eats, and I believe in offering food often, but I do think you have to pick and choose *what* you offer them. Kids are animals and some foods -- starchy, salty, sweet etc -- are like a drug for them, like they are for us. I usually offer him fruit or veggies or avocado if much of the the healthier option if offered after he has already eaten a portion of pasta or quesidilla or beans (some of his fave's).
 

Dreamer_D

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somethingshiny|1295980616|2832736 said:
I have a giant baby. She is 6 mo old and weighs over 23 lbs. She eats 40 oz a day and has since she was about 2 months old. Some babies have huge appetites.

I think you are totally right when it comes to little babies like you daughter who are still on milk/formula. I have some friends with a son who sounds like he was about the size of your daughter at her age -- bigger actually, I think he was 22 lbs at 3-4 months! We were always shocked at his size compared to our son, because they were the same age. Ands he was breastfed, which I think makes it even more unusual how large he was. I remember his mom being shocked and a little concerned about his size, but when they are so young and on a liquid diet, they really do just eat what their body wants/needs (so her docs said). Now at 2 years, they are about the same size, so once they got active his body changed and he uses everything he eats.

But when you add solids to the mix with all the different tastes and textures, and the fats and sugars and starches, and parents become more involved in the portions and food choices... well that seems a different story and at times you can't just say "well the body takes what it needs". Some kids will eat whatever is in front of the, especially if it is sugary/starchy.

That's where parents need to pick and choose what they offer. As I said before, Hunter will eat pasta till the cows come home, but if he eats a toddler portion and asks for more, then we offer fruit or avocado or something, he says no thanks ;)) So you don't really need to cut down on portions in some cases, just offer different things and they will regulate themselves better.
 

Pandora II

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TravelingGal|1295980430|2832733 said:
Pandora, I think I started a thread like this about my friend's son. I think we all know it's not a good idea to not say anything, but it doesn't stop us from wondering, does it? ::) I was often genuinely intrigued by things as well.

Hey, I'm jealous that this kid will eat anything because I have a tough eater too. It does sound like a lot of food, but like you, if a kid eats a decent amount, it looks like a lot of food to me! I still look sideways a bit at my friend's son's eating habits, but these kids do grow fast, and in spurts. Saw him over the weekend and his face thinned out yet again and he looks slimmer...his eating habits are still the same. The question is that will the eating catch up at some point? I don't know, but while he could qualify as a bit tubby, he could be skinny tomorrow. Hopefully though, his eating HABITS will somehow manage to be healthy and normal.

Sometimes watching other people's parenting seems like a free freak show, and I'm sure that some days, I'm a freak show as well. I've really learned to just sit back and shrug whatever, and just shake my head in private if it really gets bad.

TGal - you have hit the nail on the head of how I was thinking. I have no idea if it's too much or normal as I have a dinky non-eating kid!

I have a feeling that subconciously the mother is a bit worried and so won't take the daughter to any baby clinic appointments etc in case they say something she doesn't want to hear. She does give the kid lots of fruit and vegetables but too many carbs for my personal taste.

She and her husband are constantly comparing F and Daisy. Daisy started crawling and cruising at 5.5 months, walking at 10 and at 15 months had a good 50+ words, whereas F has yet to say Dada (her hearing is normal). Developmental they are very far apart at the moment. I keep telling her that all children learn to walk and talk and when isn't really an issue. Both parents are super-bright and I've no doubt that F is as well, she's just a late developer. But, I can't help feeling that her weight is seriously impacting her ability to get mobile.

I discovered from my MIL's very extensive baby diaries that when she started weaning my husband at 4 months he wouldn't eat savoury food and so she mixed syrup into it to make it sweet. He then started eating tons and all the entrys remark on the huge quantities he was eating and how fat he was getting.

DH has always struggled a bit with his weight and I can't help wondering whether the syrup and the weight he carried as an infant haven't had something to do with it.

As I said earlier, I have no intention of saying anything to F's mother as she's a smart woman and entitled to make her own decisions about parenting. I am just genuinely interested and a bit concerned and PS tends to give a broad range of views and doesn't involve speaking to anyone who knows them IRL!
 

TravelingGal

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Pandora, it's possible that weight is affecting mobility. But mine was skinny and was late on nearly every motor skill. The aforementioned kid whose weight has always been on the chunky side was early at everything and honestly has astounding motor skills. At 3, this kid can pitch a ball into the air with his right hand and hit the ball EVERY TIME with a bat in his left. I can't even do that as an adult!

I don't know what the cut off is for chunky kids, in terms of really being concerned, but I figure it's probably a bit older (for the REALLY being concerned part). I've also been on the receiving end on looks of pity (as I am sure you have) when other kids are eating at a get together and mine just isn't interested. I get comments that she's thin, tall, and everyone seems relieved (including myself) when Amelia gains weight. My kid is weird - they just had a birthday party in her preschool and every kid porked out on cupcakes. Amelia didn't touch hers...not interested in at all at even trying it.

I'm not going to complain though...she eats all types of meat, pastas, breads, every type of fruit and a few veggies types (which she pretty much prefers raw). Kind of hard to get fat on a well balanced diet, I guess!
 

Kay

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I am rather shocked that a mother who is a doctor is not taking her daughter to her regular checkups. How is she getting her vaccinations? I know we had check-ups every three months for the first year, then at 18 months, 2 years and then annually thereafter. Maybe the schedule is different in the UK.

It sounds like this baby eats more than I do. At 2 years, my DD was 35" and 29 lbs, which I believe was in the 80% range for a 2-year old. She could not come close to eating what your friend's daughter does. The feeding schedule sounds ok as far as frequency, but the amounts being offered at each meal and snack time sound really out of whack.
 

Pandora II

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Kay|1295995678|2832939 said:
I am rather shocked that a mother who is a doctor is not taking her daughter to her regular checkups. How is she getting her vaccinations? I know we had check-ups every three months for the first year, then at 18 months, 2 years and then annually thereafter. Maybe the schedule is different in the UK.

It sounds like this baby eats more than I do. At 2 years, my DD was 35" and 29 lbs, which I believe was in the 80% range for a 2-year old. She could not come close to eating what your friend's daughter does. The feeding schedule sounds ok as far as frequency, but the amounts being offered at each meal and snack time sound really out of whack.

In the UK you get vaccinations done at set intervals very similar to the US schedule. However they are done by the nurse at your GP's practice. They aren't the same people who check weights, heights and milestones - those are done by the Health Visitors at the Baby Clinic (they also come to visit you at home in the first few months). It's pretty optional whether you turn up to the clinic - I go once in a while if I want to get D weighed and to wave at the Health Witch so she doesn't ring me up to see where I am!

Also if you turn up at ER with your kid with an injury then they will automatically contact the HV, who will then descend on you to check everything is okay and you're not abusing your child - so it's best to stay on their good side! Actually mine is very sweet.

So, you can easily get the shots done and bypass the whole getting the kid checked-up on.

ETA: Regarding her being a doctor - my father is an MD and ultimately worked as a GP. I missed half my school immunisations because he forgot I hadn't had them - it's a well-known phenomenon here that doctors' kids spend more time in ER than most and are always missing shots. :bigsmile:
 

MakingTheGrade

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I don't know how different the MD training is in the UK compared to the USA, but even as an OB, I'm assuming she had at least 8 weeks rotating through pediatrics. I mean, even the older surgeons I've worked with still knew the basics about pediatrics, and certainly were all very aware of healthy weights since it's such a big issue here. Not knocking her training at all mind you, it's just a little surprising given that it's such a hot button issue among doctors here in the states! Then again, America is probably the most obese country in the world.

I do believe there is such thing as eating TOO much. I very much resembled that Chinese baby when I was a kid! My grandparents just fed me All. The. Time. I had like 5 meals a day from what they tell me, I think it was largely a cultural/family thing to be fed whenever I wanted to eat. I was chubby until college, I started working out a lot more and watching my diet, and went from a size 13 to a size 4. Now in the latter part of med school, I'm more of a size 6/8 since I don't work out as much and scarf down food whenever I get a chance, but I still have to watch out because I gain weight very very easily. I don't know how much of that has to do with my bad eating habits as a kid, but it probably didn't help!
 

Pandora II

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MakingTheGrade|1295998812|2832979 said:
I don't know how different the MD training is in the UK compared to the USA, but even as an OB, I'm assuming she had at least 8 weeks rotating through pediatrics. I mean, even the older surgeons I've worked with still knew the basics about pediatrics, and certainly were all very aware of healthy weights since it's such a big issue here. Not knocking her training at all mind you, it's just a little surprising given that it's such a hot button issue among doctors here in the states! Then again, America is probably the most obese country in the world.

I do believe there is such thing as eating TOO much. I very much resembled that Chinese baby when I was a kid! My grandparents just fed me All. The. Time. I had like 5 meals a day from what they tell me, I think it was largely a cultural/family thing to be fed whenever I wanted to eat. I was chubby until college, I started working out a lot more and watching my diet, and went from a size 13 to a size 4. Now in the latter part of med school, I'm more of a size 6/8 since I don't work out as much and scarf down food whenever I get a chance, but I still have to watch out because I gain weight very very easily. I don't know how much of that has to do with my bad eating habits as a kid, but it probably didn't help!

Exactly - that really suprised me because you do rotations here and as far as I know paediatrics would have definitely been one of them (I don't know if people do EVERY specialty or not).

I'd be really interested to know how much of an effect what/how you eat as an infant has on later metabolism and weight issues. I was EBF till 7 months and then was on a pretty healthy diet - my mother produced all our vegetables, fruit, eggs, milk and honey and bred a lot of our meat. I also grew up drinking goat's milk not cow's. I've always been on the skinny side and have to eat a lot and really mega-stuff carbs to put any weight on, whereas DH only has to look at a slice of bread and his waist-line increases. I'm sure plenty is genetic but would be interesting to know.
 

MakingTheGrade

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From what I remember, "traditional" teaching is that you only develop fat cells when you're very young (and as an adult you only have X number, hence you don't regrow fat where you've had liposuction), so if you're a fat baby then you theoretically have more fat cells, in addition to possibly having resistance (decreases sensitivities) to hormones that would normally keep you thin. I think the general idea is that in addition to having more fat cells, your fat "thermostat" might be set higher than normal making you more prone to chubbiness as an adult (in addition to other health issues if over eating continues, like diabetes etc).

But this is a hotly researched and debated area and I wouldn't be surprised if there are new models of physiology out there! Maybe one of our PS Pediatricians will comment as I'm sure they know better than me!

Regardless, I can't imagine being large as a baby makes it easier for you as an adult!
 

Kay

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Pandora|1295997911|2832972 said:
In the UK you get vaccinations done at set intervals very similar to the US schedule. However they are done by the nurse at your GP's practice. They aren't the same people who check weights, heights and milestones - those are done by the Health Visitors at the Baby Clinic (they also come to visit you at home in the first few months). It's pretty optional whether you turn up to the clinic - I go once in a while if I want to get D weighed and to wave at the Health Witch so she doesn't ring me up to see where I am!

Also if you turn up at ER with your kid with an injury then they will automatically contact the HV, who will then descend on you to check everything is okay and you're not abusing your child - so it's best to stay on their good side! Actually mine is very sweet.

So, you can easily get the shots done and bypass the whole getting the kid checked-up on.

ETA: Regarding her being a doctor - my father is an MD and ultimately worked as a GP. I missed half my school immunisations because he forgot I hadn't had them - it's a well-known phenomenon here that doctors' kids spend more time in ER than most and are always missing shots. :bigsmile:

I guess it is a case of “the cobbler's bairns are aye the worst shod,” as one of my Scottish clients likes to say.

That's interesting that the Health Visitors automatically visit you at home in the early months. There is a volunteer program in my city that offers to come to your house to give a free check up in the early weeks. It's probably a good program, but I was a bit shocked when I got the call that they wanted to come to my house. With a newborn, the last thing I wanted to do was tidy up for visitors! I preferred to just go see my ped on the regular schedule. (Plus, we had so many Dr. visits the first 2 weeks since A was jaundiced at birth.)
 

Pandora II

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[quote="Kay|1296065478|2833687I guess it is a case of “the cobbler's bairns are aye the worst shod,” as one of my Scottish clients likes to say.

That's interesting that the Health Visitors automatically visit you at home in the early months. There is a volunteer program in my city that offers to come to your house to give a free check up in the early weeks. It's probably a good program, but I was a bit shocked when I got the call that they wanted to come to my house. With a newborn, the last thing I wanted to do was tidy up for visitors! I preferred to just go see my ped on the regular schedule. (Plus, we had so many Dr. visits the first 2 weeks since A was jaundiced at birth.)[/quote]

You get a visit from the midwives every day for the first 10 days after you get home - and longer if necessary - and then every couple of days for the next 18 days. They weigh the baby every day, do things like the heel prick blood-tests, take blood from you to check for anaemia if there's a need, help with breast-feeding issues, keep an eye out for any signs of post-natal depression, help with practical & emotional support and check anything like stiches, c-section incisions etc if necessary.

If you go away for a weekend or something then they just add the missed visits when you get back. They don't care if your house is a tip or if you are in your PJs - they actually expect it. It can be a bit of a pain if you or the baby have just gone to sleep but you generally know when they are coming each day and they try to fit in with you as much as they can. Mine were the midwives I'd seen in the antenatal appointments (you rarely see an OB here unless something goes wrong - most babies are delivered by midwives and they do most of the antenatal care) and they were so nice.

Then the Health Visitor takes over - she gives you THE RED BOOK :-o which you lose on pain of death (Has all the immunisation records, weight charts and a gazillion other things in it that you need at all doctors, baby clinic etc appointments), vitamin drops, weighs the baby and again offers advice and support. You generally get 1 or 2 visits at home and then you see them in the baby clinics. Some are nice (I got lucky) and some are ghastly and make you feel like they assume you WILL abuse your child before they've even got through the front door!
 

cpster

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That seems like too much food to me. I wonder if the child is eating just to eat and not due to hunger because she's been conditioned to do so.

I struggled (and on some days still stuggle) with getting my daughter to eat a good amount. At every well baby check up my pediatrician always told me to keep offering and that a baby will eat when it's hungry. She also told me to not force things because doing so will keep your baby from learning when it's full which can lead to obesity later on. This was so hard for me because my DD wasn't eating much in the beginning. Once I started respecting her full signs more and ended the meal there, I found that meal time got more pleasant for both of us. Things still aren't easy, but they are better.

I wonder if F has no idea what "full" is. Or is she eating because she's bored and gets attention from mommy when she eats? What does she do activity wise?
 

Jennifer W

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Pandora|1296085701|2834092 said:
[quote="Kay|1296065478|2833687I guess it is a case of “the cobbler's bairns are aye the worst shod,” as one of my Scottish clients likes to say.

That's interesting that the Health Visitors automatically visit you at home in the early months. There is a volunteer program in my city that offers to come to your house to give a free check up in the early weeks. It's probably a good program, but I was a bit shocked when I got the call that they wanted to come to my house. With a newborn, the last thing I wanted to do was tidy up for visitors! I preferred to just go see my ped on the regular schedule. (Plus, we had so many Dr. visits the first 2 weeks since A was jaundiced at birth.)

You get a visit from the midwives every day for the first 10 days after you get home - and longer if necessary - and then every couple of days for the next 18 days. They weigh the baby every day, do things like the heel prick blood-tests, take blood from you to check for anaemia if there's a need, help with breast-feeding issues, keep an eye out for any signs of post-natal depression, help with practical & emotional support and check anything like stiches, c-section incisions etc if necessary.

If you go away for a weekend or something then they just add the missed visits when you get back. They don't care if your house is a tip or if you are in your PJs - they actually expect it. It can be a bit of a pain if you or the baby have just gone to sleep but you generally know when they are coming each day and they try to fit in with you as much as they can. Mine were the midwives I'd seen in the antenatal appointments (you rarely see an OB here unless something goes wrong - most babies are delivered by midwives and they do most of the antenatal care) and they were so nice.

Then the Health Visitor takes over - she gives you THE RED BOOK :-o which you lose on pain of death (Has all the immunisation records, weight charts and a gazillion other things in it that you need at all doctors, baby clinic etc appointments), vitamin drops, weighs the baby and again offers advice and support. You generally get 1 or 2 visits at home and then you see them in the baby clinics. Some are nice (I got lucky) and some are ghastly and make you feel like they assume you WILL abuse your child before they've even got through the front door![/quote]


The RED BOOK! LOL. Yup, that thing becomes as precious as life itself!
My HV was sweet. She got a LC to visit me twice a day for the first couple of weeks, because A wasn't gaining weight. That was the best support I could have asked for. I never tidied up for the HV, LC or midwife - they don't expect it (and if they do, they're out of luck here...)
 

Pandora II

Ideal_Rock
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cpster|1296200434|2835508 said:
That seems like too much food to me. I wonder if the child is eating just to eat and not due to hunger because she's been conditioned to do so.

I struggled (and on some days still stuggle) with getting my daughter to eat a good amount. At every well baby check up my pediatrician always told me to keep offering and that a baby will eat when it's hungry. She also told me to not force things because doing so will keep your baby from learning when it's full which can lead to obesity later on. This was so hard for me because my DD wasn't eating much in the beginning. Once I started respecting her full signs more and ended the meal there, I found that meal time got more pleasant for both of us. Things still aren't easy, but they are better.

I wonder if F has no idea what "full" is. Or is she eating because she's bored and gets attention from mommy when she eats? What does she do activity wise?

I don't think F does know what full is! She's definitely played with a lot, taken out in the pram and also goes to a her grandmothers several days a week while my friend is working. I'm hoping she'll slim down once she gets walking, but too be honest I'm not commenting here on whether I think F is fat or not, but more on whether offering food in this way is the right thing to do.

Like you I have a non-eating child so it's hard to know what normal looks like!
 
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