Engagement Gifts

[mayerling]

Hi everyone. I was wondering... did you receive any gifts after you announced your engagement? I''m recently engaged and wondering about this.

 

[Amzizzle]

Well people tend to bring them to an engagement party if you have one.We however opted not to and just has our closest friends come out to dinner with us.

We still got a few gifts though including crystal champagne glasses,champagne,and I actually got a string of pearls from my grandmother. It''s all about the crowd I guess.

 

[megumic]

We received a few cards, but any gifts we received were at our engagement party. Even at engagement parties I don''t think gifts are protocol, but rather optional.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think most people only get engagement gifts if they have an engagement party. I didn''t have one and I didn''t get gifts. I''ve always felt engagement gifts other than a bottle of champagne were an odd concept.

 

[stephbolt]

FI and I moved in together 2 weeks after getting engaged, my parents bought us a nice grill and called it an engagement/housewarming gift.

Several of FI''s aunts sent us gifts. One kept telling us to register so she could pick something out, but we refused, so we now have a set of 8 random pasta bowls that don''t match anything else we own. We also got a home depot gift card, and a few nice picture frames/wall hangings.

Overall, I didn''t expect anything, but we appreciate everyone who sent us something.

 

[purselover]

We received pretty much all our gifts at our engagement party (or right before or after)

 

[meresal]

I like to give a Waterford/Lenox/Etc. Crystal Ring Dish to the bride-to-be as an engagement gift... and usually some type of "Guy's Wedding Book" to the man.

This is what my mo gave me after getting engaged and I use it everyday! This is the only engagement gift "we" received.

 

[ladypirate]

We didn''t receive any engagement gifts, but we didn''t have any sort of party for it either.

 

[RaiKai]

No, but we did not have an engagement party either. I certainly would not have expected gifts if we had HAD had an engagement party. We did get some cards in the mail though

I have never given gifts to someone after they announced an engagement either, and would not bring a gift to an engagement party for them. It gets pricey enough with wedding gifts and shower gifts.

 

[princessplease]

We didn''t have an engagement party, but a few relatives gave us some things (a Kitchenaid mixer from my aunt) and a Farberware set from my mom. We were supposed to have a party but we cancelled it due to lack of a location.

 

[Natylad]

We had an engagement party where only our closest relatives were invited. So my mother in law offered me a very old pendant which belonged to her since she was a very young girl and which she was always wearing until that day...It''s an 18 ct yellow gold pendant with a small sapphire and a trillion diamond. My sister in law gave me a beautiful traditional lebanese ring in 18ct yellow gold and 72 mellee diamonds. Last but not least, my family has given us 10k in cash and said that we could use it as we wish....and now we''re using it for wedding expenses! Ah! And i forgot the grand mother from my fiance''s side of the family! She presented a big box and when i opened it i''ve found silk sexy underwear in royal blue color! Imagine that!!!

 

[Haven]

We didn''t have an engagement party but we did receive a lot of engagement gifts. They were mostly from older family members and family friends, and a handful of DH''s older clients.

We also received most of our wedding gifts long before the actual wedding, and some of those came shortly after we were engaged. I''m not sure how your friends and family do it, but the older set in my family definitely sent gifts very early.

 

[mayerling]

Well, I guess since we''re not having an engagement party, or a shower, we shouldn''t expect any gifts until the wedding...

 

[nkarma]

Date: 3/9/2010 1:47:42 PM
Author: DVS1
Well, I guess since we''re not having an engagement party, or a shower, we shouldn''t expect any gifts until the wedding...

Do you need gifts for getting engaged to the one you love? Gifts for engagements are odd concepts to me too, but then again so are they for bridal showers as people will be going to the wedding in a few months anways. You can have many bridal showers if you need to get a lot of gifts.

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 3/9/2010 1:47:42 PM
Author: DVS1
Well, I guess since we''re not having an engagement party, or a shower, we shouldn''t expect any gifts until the wedding...

You should not "expect" them for the wedding either to be honest.

There is no obligation on a guest to give a gift at your wedding either. Yes, most of them will, however, it is not an obligation. We actually told our guests we did NOT expect gifts as they were spending the money to travel to our destination wedding and as cheesy as it is, their gift to us was their presence at our wedding. We did still get a few gifts (from our parents and siblings really) but most did not bring them.

 

[PumpkinPie]

we didn''t have an engagement party or receive any engagement gifts. But then again, we were only engaged for 6 weeks!

 

[megumic]

Date: 3/9/2010 1:47:42 PM
Author: DVS1
Well, I guess since we''re not having an engagement party, or a shower, we shouldn''t expect any gifts until the wedding...

Are you not having an engagement party or shower because you''re having a very short engagement? When is your wedding?

 

[mayerling]

No, we haven't set a wedding yet, but our date will probably not be until late 2011. But we're not having any of that because we can't afford it.

And, no, I don't need gifts for being engaged to the one I love; just like I don't need an ering for being engaged to the one I love. I was just wondering if it's tradition.

 

[ilovesparkles]

We received a few cards but no gifts. And as far as showers go, usually the BMs or family members throw them for you and you don''t pay for them. But that is just what I have known.

 

[LabRatPhD]

We didn''t receive any gifts or cards. We didn''t really even tell that many people that we got engaged. Our circle is pretty low key so we would have been shocked if we would have received anything. We are not having an engagement party and I am pretty sure we are not having any showers. We have been asked where we are registered, so I suppose people are waiting until closer to the wedding to send gifts.

 

[shertz1981]

We got gifts from my grandma, grandma''s BFF, my father''s sisters and also from one of my friends. Totally unexpected and very much appreciated.

 

[honey22]

Engagement parties and therefore gifts are the norm in Australia. I wouldn''t dream of attending an e-party without giving a gift (similar to, but probably not as large a gift budget as for a wedding is common).

We had a large e-party (160 invited). As we were having a tiny DW, we used this as our opportunity to celebrate out up and coming marriage with friends and extended family. We sent out the message via Mums, close friends etc that guests were not expected or required, but of course everyone who attended were very generous. I guess this doesn''t suprise me, I would have done the same in the opposite situation but it is very humbling to see the generosity and thoughtfullness of some people. We both felt overwhelmed with the generosity, but a few friends did mention they wanted to make up for not giving a wedding gift (due to not being invited to the wedding). It''s funny but that made me feel guilty about having such a small wedding (not that I would do it any other way) but friends still felt the need to give a nice gift even though they weren''t going. Made me feel bad!

 

[laughwithme]

No gifts or parties...but a couple cards and a whole lot of "congrats!"

 

[mayachel]

I think it varies depending on social norms. DF''s family put a lot of pressure on us to register right away and once we did, we received a number of gifts from both close and far flung relatives and Friends on his side. My side sent a few cards, no gifts. Which is fine, I wasn''t expecting any, as I have rarely sent out more than a card for and engagement myself.

To add to the amusement of what are norms, we grew up in the same town...so theoretically it is more a difference in family norms.

 

[iheartscience]

I didn''t get any gifts for my engagement. (Other that my e-ring, that is!) A few relatives sent nice cards but that was it.

We didn''t have an engagement party, though, so I''m sure that had something to do with it. Engagement parties definitely aren''t the norm where I live. They always seem a bit gift-grabby to me...I feel like if you''re going to have showers and a wedding within a year or so, do you really need more presents? But like I said, they''re not the norm where I am so I''m biased.

 

[Haven]

Date: 3/12/2010 12:20:51 PM
Author: thing2of2
We didn''t have an engagement party, though, so I''m sure that had something to do with it. Engagement parties definitely aren''t the norm where I live. They always seem a bit gift-grabby to me...I feel like if you''re going to have showers and a wedding within a year or so, do you really need more presents? But like I said, they''re not the norm where I am so I''m biased.

I agree with this.

A few of my friends had engagement parties, but the more common situation around here is a more traditional engagement party--the family of the bride invites their close family and friends to a plain old party, and they announce their daughter''s engagement as a surprise during the party. This means nobody brings gifts because they didn''t know that the engagement happened until they arrived at the party.

I think the practice of throwing an engagement party *after* the engagement has been announced is a relatively new thing. I also agree that it seems a bit indulgent, and a bit of a gift grab.

We didn''t have either because I didn''t keep our engagement secret once it happened. Our families organized a very impromptu get together the night after we were engaged with our parents, first cousins, and very closest friends, but it was a celebratory dinner, not a party. Nobody brought gifts, just a lot of toasts and happy sentiments, and a handful of "finally" and "what took you so long?" grumbles.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 3/12/2010 1:09:13 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 3/12/2010 12:20:51 PM
Author: thing2of2
We didn''t have an engagement party, though, so I''m sure that had something to do with it. Engagement parties definitely aren''t the norm where I live. They always seem a bit gift-grabby to me...I feel like if you''re going to have showers and a wedding within a year or so, do you really need more presents? But like I said, they''re not the norm where I am so I''m biased.

I agree with this.

A few of my friends had engagement parties, but the more common situation around here is a more traditional engagement party--the family of the bride invites their close family and friends to a plain old party, and they announce their daughter''s engagement as a surprise during the party. This means nobody brings gifts because they didn''t know that the engagement happened until they arrived at the party.

I think the practice of throwing an engagement party *after* the engagement has been announced is a relatively new thing. I also agree that it seems a bit indulgent, and a bit of a gift grab.

We didn''t have either because I didn''t keep our engagement secret once it happened. Our families organized a very impromptu get together the night after we were engaged with our parents, first cousins, and very closest friends, but it was a celebratory dinner, not a party. Nobody brought gifts, just a lot of toasts and happy sentiments, and a handful of ''finally'' and ''what took you so long?'' grumbles.

Haven, will your family adopt me?!!!

 

[mrscushion]

Date: 3/9/2010 10:31:13 AM
Author: ladypirate
We didn''t receive any engagement gifts, but we didn''t have any sort of party for it either.

Ditto.

 

[jcarlylew]

We had one, since we were engaged on vacation. My mother was the one who wanted to throw one, so i let her. We recieved a bottle of champange, a picture frame, and a ton of congrats. This was just meant for family members.

 

[mayerling]

Well, in the end we got a cash gift from a family friend even though we didn''t throw an engagement party.