Luxury purchases?

[kimf79]

So after many questions here I pulled the trigger on ordering my eternity band last week. I’m sure it will turn out amazing and I am not saying I have a regret and feel like I got a fair price.

But I guess there’s this feeling of should we have done something else with the money like a family vacation? Ladies please help my guilt lol. I do not have fancy things and besides e-ring and bands I do not have expensive jewelry
And for all purposes have not had a big luxury purchase ever really. We have our cars and our home but that’s not like spending money just on me. But I thought I deserved it after two kids and a milestone birthday I’m headed toward. What do you think?? Maybe it’s just the fact that we have a family now that makes me second guess it, as there’s always somewhere money could go, upgrades to the home, vacations, savings.

 

[KKJohnson]

After two kids, yes! The way you say there is always something the money could go towards shows how much you put your family first, it’s nice that your family put you first and decided a new bauble was what mamma needed. Having something beautiful to put on and enjoy can help you feel good, there is always next year for a family vacation.

Enjoy it in good health

 

[kimf79]

Thank you. I had been wanting it for years and had thought about it a lot. My husband went along with it (somewhat grudgingly) as I don’t think he understands the love for jewelry as most of you guys here will understand. I guess some men don’t get it as much but anyways he’s okay with it: and yes two babies and approaching this bday!

Thank you I will enjoy it, and next year vacation is right

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

i think 2 babies and a happy marriage and family should cancel out any guilt you are feeling
back in 1971 (cough cough) my dad gave my mum a sapphire and diamond eternity band when i was born, after 7 years of marriage

 

[kimf79]

Haha, good to know. That was nice of your dad! Well I was born in 79 so you can imagine which bday I’m headed to.

 

[LLJsmom]

Release some of the pressure now. Yes you should not feel guilty. If you wait too long like I did, you’ll explode and go and buy a 2.5 carat diamond and the husband only finds out when you tell him to wire the funds.

 

[Wanaka]

I think it’s awesome that you’re getting something you love for your self... talk about self care and taking care of you Am sure your eternity will give you much joy every time we look at it. I think us ladies aren’t so good at treating ourselves and taking care of ourselves sometimes! And what a brilliant way to celebrate your two babies and your milestone birthday coming up. Please post a pic once you get your band!

 

[Snowdrop13]

Life is short and if the money is spare, why not? Being a mum is a constant guilt trip, expectations are that every decision and act we make is with the kids in mind. You deserve a treat!

 

[srke]

I am facing a similar dilemma right now.
I recently received a fairly substantial pay increase and also a large and unexpected bonus. So now I'm really really torn between splurging the bonus away, or going the sensible option of holding on to it for more useful endeavours....Especially when I think of all the possible unexpected expenses that might come up in the future, my head knows there's always going to be something more useful the money could be saved for, and will probably end up just counting it as part of our rainy day savings. But a very large part of me just longs for that big luxury purchase just for me...

So, as someone who is living vicariously through others on this forum , I think you definitely should enjoy your eternity ring and the joy it brings you to wear something really nice. There is no reason to feel guilty at all. There will always be something else you could have spent the money on, but if you can afford it, at some point you need to get things just for yourself and your own enjoyment

 

[missy]

Guilt over purchases one can afford is wasting energy. Life is short. Life is challenging and life is unpredictable. Live in the moment while saving as best you can for the future without sacrificing too much in the present. Enjoy your beautiful new bling and your wonderful family. And don't feel guilty for allowing yourself to enjoy a beautiful new bauble. Embrace it and enjoy it and congrats.

 

[MamaBee]

Release some of the pressure now. Yes you should not feel guilty. If you wait too long like I did, you’ll explode and go and buy a 2.5 carat diamond and the husband only finds out when you tell him to wire the funds.

That is the funniest thing I heard in a while!!! That made me laugh out loud! It’s true! Also..don’t put a strict buying ban on yourself because it backfires!

 

[MamaBee]

You should not feel guilty! You deserve it! I can’t wait to see it!

 

[kimf79]

Release some of the pressure now. Yes you should not feel guilty. If you wait too long like I did, you’ll explode and go and buy a 2.5 carat diamond and the husband only finds out when you tell him to wire the funds.

Haha, okay well hubs will be happier with this idea than a 2.5 carat one day lol thank you

 

[kimf79]

I think it’s awesome that you’re getting something you love for your self... talk about self care and taking care of you Am sure your eternity will give you much joy every time we look at it. I think us ladies aren’t so good at treating ourselves and taking care of ourselves sometimes! And what a brilliant way to celebrate your two babies and your milestone birthday coming up. Please post a pic once you get your band!

Thank you, I will definitely post pics! I agree being a mom is a very sacrificial job so much time and care goes to my kids all day and little to me. So I wanted to treat myself but next on the list has to be some “me” time I swear breaks are few and far between!! I’ll be done with the jewelry after this one

 

[missy]

I’ll be done with the jewelry after this one

Haha famous last words...

 

[kimf79]

I am facing a similar dilemma right now.
I recently received a fairly substantial pay increase and also a large and unexpected bonus. So now I'm really really torn between splurging the bonus away, or going the sensible option of holding on to it for more useful endeavours....Especially when I think of all the possible unexpected expenses that might come up in the future, my head knows there's always going to be something more useful the money could be saved for, and will probably end up just counting it as part of our rainy day savings. But a very large part of me just longs for that big luxury purchase just for me...

So, as someone who is living vicariously through others on this forum , I think you definitely should enjoy your eternity ring and the joy it brings you to wear something really nice. There is no reason to feel guilty at all. There will always be something else you could have spent the money on, but if you can afford it, at some point you need to get things just for yourself and your own enjoyment [/QUOTE

Yes it’s tough to decide in your shoes! I sat on the fence for awhile. But once I found the jeweler I wanted to go with and he quoted me a reasonable price I was done haha.

Yes I guess there is always something more sensible to do with the money which (like you) is the dilemmma I’m having. Maybe you can take some from the bonus and save the rest. I think that’s fair, considering you also got a pay raise which will help too

I will enjoy the band. Excited to have it soon!

 

[kimf79]

Haha famous last words...

We hope lol

 

[kimf79]

Guilt over purchases one can afford is wasting energy. Life is short. Life is challenging and life is unpredictable. Live in the moment while saving as best you can for the future without sacrificing too much in the present. Enjoy your beautiful new bling and your wonderful family. And don't feel guilty for allowing yourself to enjoy a beautiful new bauble. Embrace it and enjoy it and congrats.

Yes, agree. I was able to do it without touching any finances we need. So I felt like the time had come. thank you!!

 

[kimf79]

You should not feel guilty! You deserve it! I can’t wait to see it!

Thank you, I will post pics!!

 

[Swirl68]

Fine jewelry is a wonderful thing to pass down to your children or grandchildren. My grandmother gifted me her diamond earrings, and her diamond ring will go to me one day (if my mother doesn’t lose it). I never take her diamond earrings off. My daughter will get these and my purchases as well. You can’t pass vacations down through the generations.

 

[eapj]

Fine jewelry is a wonderful thing to pass down to your children or grandchildren. My grandmother gifted me her diamond earrings, and her diamond ring will go to me one day (if my mother doesn’t lose it.) I never take her diamond earrings off. My daughter will get these and my purchases as well. You can’t pass vacations down through the generations.

Agreed! The “experiences not things” thing drives me nuts as it’s often presented as the “best” way to spend money. I don’t have children but have already thought about which pieces I’ll give to nieces and nephews when the time is right. I wish I had something from my relatives but they didn’t have anything to pass down.

Looking at a beautiful ring on the hand can bring so much joy. OP, I’m happy for you!

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

Enjoy it!

We all try our best but the argument of can you do better will always be endless.

You could argue that I should save all my money for my kid, redo the bathrooms, buy a bigger house, get a swimming pool, give it all to those in need (and many people in this world are in need), give to animals, save the Polar bears and so on, the list will be endless and all it brings is guilt.

Buy what makes you happy.

 

[cmd2014]

Your dilemma is always what makes me hesitate to buy myself anything really expensive too. There's always something "more responsible" to spend the money on. But I also think that has to be balanced with living your life. Take the vacation. Buy the occasional bling. Don't wait thinking that you'll have time later, because this is not always guaranteed. And so long as you are being reasonably responsible with your other funds, the occasional splurge is not going to make or break your financial future.

It's funny when I think about it. I don't think twice about spending $$ on a joint holiday for myself and my husband or on a new car when we need it, or for something for the house, but we as women are still so socialized to feel guilty when we think about buying something that is just for us it's unreal.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

I get that guilt too and consider it a good thing. I think it is just my cognitive brain warning my emotional brain that we need to put a brake on things before they go too far. I call it my warning system and it keeps me from spending too much.

 

[Big Fat Facets]

:roll I struggle with the guilt, too. I keep putting diamonds and jewelry off. And instead, I renovate and do up the house. But sometimes, deep in my gut, especially year after year of putting off jewelry purchases, there comes a time, where enough is enough. I rationalize to myself that i am deserving of it. In terms of earthly things...these sparkly, blingy, shiny things make me so happy. They really do!

 

[Ally T]

Guilt is a wasted emotion, so don't think too hard about what you "could" have spent the money on. If you had the surplus cash & you wanted to buy something just for you, not your husband, the children or the house, then fabulous! You don't sound like someone who blows large amounts of money on a whim, so I am sure you will love & appreciate your new eternity ring every day.

I am like you in that i work hard putting my family first & I am definitely at the back of the queue. So when my husband gave me an eternity the day after our youngest was born, I took that bad boy & ran!

 

[MamaBee]

Haha famous last words...

Too funny..I nodded my head and laughed when I read what you wrote @missy!

 

[bmfang]

As long as it isn’t putting y’all in financial strife, then why not? Being a mom is as much of a job as a dad who goes off to the workplace everyday. Just that your workplace is at home, in the family car as you do the groceries, school pickups, extra curricular activities...

I’m one of the guys who wants to get my wife some goodies at our 10th wedding anniversary but I am expecting my wife to swat that request down so we can pay for son’s education instead.

 

[LLJsmom]

I am now convinced that if my DH has bought me a push present when my first baby was born (push presents weren’t a thing yet) that I probably wouldn’t have hit 2.5 carats my first time at bat. We had been married 15 years before he bought my first post engagement ring piece of jewelry for me. See? Deprived far too long. No anniversary gifts. Ever. Until 15. Damn. Now that I think about it he got off easy. Well, he’s been paying (literally) for it the past 7 years.

 

[kimf79]

I am now convinced that if my DH has bought me a push present when my first baby was born (push presents weren’t a thing yet) that I probably wouldn’t have hit 2.5 carats my first time at bat. We had been married 15 years before he bought my first post engagement ring piece of jewelry for me. See? Deprived far too long. No anniversary gifts. Ever. Until 15. Damn. Now that I think about it he got off easy. Well, he’s been paying (literally) for it the past 7 years.

Oh man I hear you. He should have bought something sooner. I convinced my husband I deserve this because I had two babies and no push presents. Plus milestone bday. And the fact that he has never bought me jewelry since we got married! Um 7 years ago! So I get you.