Pet adoption frustration

[msop04]

Mort was an angel thank you for remembering

Is this from IG?? I swear, I think I have this picture (or one very similar) on my phone, @Niel!!! I saved it for when we were going to start looking for a pup - I wanted a KCC with his coloring! He looks like he was the sweetest dog. I'm so sorry...

 

[cmd2014]

Ugh. That's terrible! I'm so sorry that was done to you and your kids!

Maybe next time you could try explaining in advance that your daughter is on the spectrum, and that while she is very comfortable with dogs (sitting next to them, sharing blankets, etc., and that this has never been a problem with your pets in the past), she is not comfortable with being asked to pet a dog, especially in a new situation and by someone that she does not know? (which honestly, would weird out any kid) Then invite her to sit where she is comfortable and let the dog come to to her (if desired).

If you love that specific dog, go back when that horrible volunteer woman is not there. Explain the situation to the person there, let them know that your children have already met this dog and that you are comfortable that it will be ok. Worst case, they still say no.

 

[arkieb1]

I'm so sorry about Mort. Next shelter you go to I'm with Bron, lie, tell they you have no kids so you don't have to put your kids through that s@#* again.....

 

[Niel]

I'm so sorry about Mort. Next shelter you go to I'm with Bron, lie, tell they you have no kids so you don't have to put your kids through that s@#* again.....

I would lie but I really don’t want one that’s bad with kids! Lol

 

[arkieb1]

I would lie but I really don’t want one that’s bad with kids! Lol

I'd be looking to see if the dog is generally timid, scared, or aggressive in general - these traits are amplified when they are around kids. I'd go for a dog that is just calm generally. You could tell the shelter people you plan to have kids in the future and ask if they know if the dog is O.K with kids.

 

[eapj]

@Niel - I’m so sorry to read this. My husband and I are looking into a third dog and I’m learning a lot about the frustration of rescue. I’ve had 4 dogs as an adult and 3 were from “the pound” and one from a rescue. I’ve just found a great new rescue (outside of Philadelphia) that seems to be reasonable and wants what’s best for the dogs but also wants the dogs to have homes. The dogs are all in foster so there is some understanding of their temperament. Now we wait for the breed mix my husband wants.

I’m sure the right dog for your family is out there, I’m just sorry that you’ve had a frustrating experience. I’ve had several friends go the breeder route because they’ve had experiences similar to yours. Hang in there.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

I am amazed at how the MIL type from Hades treated you. I have fostered dogs before and hoped and prayed the right family would come along for each dog. Having a foster family is much different for a dog than the humane society where some dogs develop shelter shock. It does them no good to linger at the shelter. You would think Hades MIL type would have better sense and not needlessly subject the dogs and your family to the nonsense she has created.

Please don't give up. No dog will be Mort but there is a dog that you and your family will love so much you will forget how life was like without them.

 

[lovedogs]

Your mort looked so sweet. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's devestating.

 

[lyra]

I think you're pretty safe going for another spaniel. They are generally very companionable and easy going dogs. Cocker spaniel, CKCharles? I wouldn't lie to anyone, because some places insist on a home visit too, but yes, explaining about your daughter before a kid visit would be good maybe. It's too bad you're having to go through all this. sad

 

[Niel]

I think you're pretty safe going for another spaniel. They are generally very companionable and easy going dogs. Cocker spaniel, CKCharles? I wouldn't lie to anyone, because some places insist on a home visit too, but yes, explaining about your daughter before a kid visit would be good maybe. It's too bad you're having to go through all this. sad

Mort was a ckc

 

[sonnyjane]

I hate to say this, but sometimes you just have to withhold information.
Or even lie.
If they aren’t physically visiting your home, say you have a fully fenced backyard, no kids and you work from home.
You know you can give them a better life.

Please don’t do that. Some animals have legitimate behavioral issues that should exclude them from being around children or from being home alone for long periods of time. There’s a very dangerous belief out there that adopting an animal from a shelter into any home, even if it’s not a home well-suited for the animal, is better than leaving it in a shelter. I promise you that’s not the case, and yes, that does include kill shelters that would euthanize an animal if not adopted. There are conditions out there that are worse than death.

Please don’t encourage anyone to lie to adoption officers.

 

[Niel]

Please don’t do that. Some animals have legitimate behavioral issues that should exclude them from being around children or from being home alone for long periods of time. There’s a very dangerous belief out there that adopting an animal from a shelter into any home, even if it’s not a home well-suited for the animal, is better than leaving it in a shelter. I promise you that’s not the case, and yes, that does include kill shelters that would euthanize an animal if not adopted. There are conditions out there that are worse than death.

Please don’t encourage anyone to lie to adoption officers.

Lol I wasn’t going to lie don’t worry.

 

[cmd2014]

The more I think about what happened to you at the shelter, the more angry I become. I can't believe that horrible woman was so insistent that your daughter pet the dog. Anyone who knows anything about children and animals knows that they need to do things in their own way and in their own time. I might be inclined to call the shelter and complain. This seems like something that could easily put both children and animals at risk. Seriously, what happens if a scared dog senses a scared child who is being pressured to interact with it before either one of them is ready and the dog bites? She should just quietly watch how *you* choose to have your children interact with the dog and assess whether it's a good fit, not impose herself into that process. The whole thing is just gross.

And I'm so sorry about your Mort. He was clearly special.

 

[lyra]

@cmd2014 I totally agree. This lady is setting up for a disaster by trying to force things. Then what happens when a dog bites a child? Do they euthanize the dog? Terrible handling all the way around. Maybe the lady doesn't like kids. I get that some people don't know how to teach their kids how to treat animals, yes, that happens. (I hate that!) But obviously OP isn't one of those people, and a dog doesn't need to be petted at all to feel secure. No need to force it. Just about any dog would appreciate just sitting with a human of any age.

 

[Niel]

The more I think about what happened to you at the shelter, the more angry I become. I can't believe that horrible woman was so insistent that your daughter pet the dog. Anyone who knows anything about children and animals knows that they need to do things in their own way and in their own time. I might be inclined to call the shelter and complain. This seems like something that could easily put both children and animals at risk. Seriously, what happens if a scared dog senses a scared child who is being pressured to interact with it before either one of them is ready and the dog bites? She should just quietly watch how *you* choose to have your children interact with the dog and assess whether it's a good fit, not impose herself into that process. The whole thing is just gross.

And I'm so sorry about your Mort. He was clearly special.

Yes the more I think about it the more annoyed I get as well

I’ve emailed them twice they have not responded which just irritates me more. Idk if I should call them and see if their is a reason they’re not returning my emails or just go somewhere else.
I stopped into a pound type shelter yesterday. Almost ALL THE DOGS were already adopted. That’s great obviously but like, idk man.

 

[FlashyFlamingo]

Recently I lost a fur baby.
I am not looking to replace Mort. But my house feels empty without a dog and the search helps me.
I went into a humane society today. I filled out an application online before I went in. They require you to put a name down of a dog you want, so I wrong a random one down and said “but really just looking for the right one.”
I go in by myself because I didn’t want it to effect the my kids to see dogs they couldn’t take home. They sit me down for a “consultation.”
They didn’t seem very interested in my criteria. We “might have something idk, go look around and see if anyone speaks to you”
I did. Walk back to the front and said that I was interested in the spaniel
An older lady with an very “that mother in law you hate” vibe was like “ oh, no. “ and someone next to her had to explain to me that one wouldn’t work.
We have one maybe “and she takes me to see one dog that barked at me the whole time she stood by him. I felt nothing but bad that I didn’t want him and we walked away. Walked back to the front desk and someone said they “might have one other one that might work. She is nervous when she first meets people but she warms up.“
It was a dog I had overlooked before. Idk why. Don’t even remember seeing it the first time. They take us to a tiny room. Leave us alone. She acts curious but sweet. Listens. Calm. Like I’m surprised how into this dog we are. They tell me I can’t adopt it without a child visit as my kids are 4 and 7. Like ok whatever.

I drive to get my kids and bring them back to the humane society. The nice woman who helped me before went home and now I get the old mother in law. She seems disinterested in helping us. Takes us back to the tiny room. Me, my two kids, and my husband.
The dog comes in. The old lady is standing up. Tells my kids to pet the dog. Here pet the dog. Just pet the dog. My (on the spectrum) daughter gets a little nervous. She doesn’t pet dogs. She never pet our old dog. Don’t get me wrong she likes dogs. Sit with them. Share blankets whatever. But like I sit there thinking “my daughter just doesn’t pet dogs”
Anyways the old lady says “oh look at her(dog) she’s terrified. Yup. She’s terrified. Ok was there some other dog you were interested in?”
Like that’s it. You put my kids in a weird situation and zero time to acclimate and now I can’t adopt the dog. I’m on the exact situation I didn’t want to be in. I didn’t want my kids to have to get their hopes up for nothing. Of course I told them “the dog might not like us and that’s ok” but of course tell that to a girl who has to see a dog come in and go out again. She cried the whole way home of course.

Anyways it’s frustrating and puts me off the whole thing. I would like to adopt a dog. But the rigorous adoption process almost always leaves me out. Oh you don’t have a fence? Ok application denied.
This dog is has heart worms and likes you but oh didn’t acclimate to your family ASAP so sorry. I don’t want a dog that’s night right for our family but like, you can’t expect a dog in a small room with 5 people to becomes perfect friends right away and apparently that’s what needed to happen. Idk. Just frustrating.
Can’t I just have mort back

I used to foster dogs regularly with a fancy breed specific rescue. The were so incredibly picky about who they would adopt to, which I always thought was stupid. It is after all a dog and not a child. I'm not sure how many home studies and background checks are necessary.
All three of my dogs have come from high kill humane societies. They are a lot more depressing to go into, but the people working there are much more pleasant and less judgmental. Every single time that I've adopted the person at the counter has been thrilled that the dog is getting a home, especially a nice home.
I also think that the dogs there kind of know that you really saved them, as crazy as that may seem. I adopted a 13 year old Chihuahua with cancer a few years ago who was on her last day before she would have been put to sleep. She HATED everyone she met, but as soon as she got in the car with me to leave the humane society she looked up like, thanks for saving me, and was instantly bonded with me.
I'm not sure where you're located, but I would look into a not so nice humane society. I've sure been lucky going that route.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

im so sorry Niel and everyone else who has had this trouble
i find this kind of over zealous attitude is common with front of house charity workers of a particular age
and its not a new problem
i remember years ago, my best friend's sister having problems and being accused of being a student, when she was fully employed and living on a farm
we have a no kill SPCA here but i have no experience in adoption
our cats just find us
Our's is right now out patrolling the neighbourhod/ sleeping in the sun
i hope Niel, all works out
that woman was so unkind to your daughter lucky animals understand people better than humans do

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Moet looked a real beauty
he must have had the very best life with you
i bet he would tell that MIL type lady a thing or two
one thing i just remembered is when our cat Borris adopted us we thought we would do the right thing and be responsible and take her to the vet for flu shots and to be spayed and microchiped
now i had already been around the neighbourhod looking for Borris' family
she had been hanging around from when Tinky was still alive - he was super territorial but would shear his food with only her.
anyway so we get the flu jab and the microchip and book in for the desexing
when we brought her back in they did not want to do the opp because we couldn't prove we were the owners (i really hate that word owner) yet they had been more than happy to take my money for the mircochipping and YES i have been around the neighbours
anyway poor Borris came home with just a shaved tum because turned out the first vet couldnt find the scar
poor Borris must have had a cold belly all winter

 

[Tonks]

Neil, I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s so hard.

Wanted to mention another possible option. I’ve been through pet adoption and it was indeed tough. We found our ideal breed and for our last two dogs went a different route. We got a puppy from a responsible (key word) breeder, and while he is wonderful, we definitely went through the puppy chewing stuff.

For our most recent addition, we didn’t want to do puppy again, but still wanted the same amazing breed. So we adopted a retiring show dog from that same breeder, and it has been fantastic. We got a healthy adult dog that is well socialized to people and dogs. She is great on a leash and travels like a dream. She’s crate trained and house trained. Really no down side here in my opinion. I had no idea that the retiring show dog thing was an option until recently, and it has truly been perfect for us. Maybe it would be an option for you as well?

 

[Niel]

In case anyone was wondering I found a less obnoxious humane society.

 

[Matata]

In case anyone was wondering I found a less obnoxious humane society.

Those ears! That face! Give us the deets.

 

[Calliecake]

What a sweetheart!!! So happy for your family Niel.

 

[AGBF]

What a beauty, Niel! Tell us everything. We know he (or she) is good with children!

Deb/AGBF

 

[Niel]

I went in on the 20th, she had been dropped off by her previous owner on the 19th. She’s a year and a month old- as those previous owners had originally gotten her from the shelter as a puppy and returned her because they were moving- so they explained.
A mutt of course looks the spitting image of a Carolina dingo but much larger and with a less floofy tail. I did some sleuthing on the humane society’s page and looked at other dogs- the coloring leads me to believe she might be mixed with an anetolian Shepard. Anyways. Still a mutt but she is beautiful.
She has a lot of energy but was well trained by her previous owners. Walks relatively good on a leash which frankly meets a very low bar I have for dog walking. She is good with kids other than she annoys them a little lol. She wants to be in everyone’s business. She was named foxie and the pound kept it. As I hate that stripper name I picked a name that sounded similar enough when I called it that she would still respond, so her name is Freddie. My daughter wanted to help name her so officially her name is “Freddie Hollywood”
She can’t be more than 2 feet from me at all times, much like mort. But unlike mort she doesn’t beg or eat people food and I haven’t heard her bark once. She plays well with other dogs although she’s the largest at the dog park. She’s 70lbs now and extremely trim. Her paws still seem large so we’ll see if she gets any bigger.

 

[Niel]

One of her ears is floppy or not depending on her mood. One does not ever flop lol

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

One of her ears is floppy or not depending on her mood. One does not ever flop lol

My childhood dog had ears just like that

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

In case anyone was wondering I found a less obnoxious humane society.

Adorable
i want to pat him !

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

opps sorry Freddie, i mean she
those ears are adorable
Niel im so happy for you and for Freddie

 

[Tonks]

Omg those ears!!!!!!

So happy for all of you!

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Ah those ears! Love the ear picture, I hope she brings you many happy years!