Begonia
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2011
- Messages
- 3,216
This is a common problem but I’m hoping someone will help me reframe my thoughts about a friend casually adopting my ideas for reform at work. I know no idea is an original but I still can’t help the feeling of being stolen from.
I have a co-worker who has become a friend outside of work. We have become quite good friends over the past 2 years. We used to do several components of our work together, but I’ve since moved into a different department. Without giving too much specific info, we both were involved in a special skill work area that our company is ignoring and critically needs some changes to happen. I used to take care of those areas on my own initiative. Beyond the training for the special skill, I was self taught on most areas (of the special skill) within the company on how to handle just about everything. I’m a quiet introvert but quickly became the go-to girl and earned that respect through several years of disrespect and shaming within the company. She experienced the same thing, being several years behind me in hiring and I mentored her throughout so she could avoid many of the hardships I faced. It was hard but I persevered. Recently I’ve moved into a different division and no longer do much of the special skill, but am still keenly interested in it.
My co-worker friend and I have talked endlessly about how to improve working conditions of that skill. We have met outside of work and she has many many great ideas of her own. As do I. I’ve been called generous with my knowledge and am always willing to help a sister out. Throughout the 2 years, she has consistently presented many of my ideas as her own when meeting with company management. It has happened again, yesterday. I’m mostly (?) fine with it, but there is a little part inside that wishes she would (at least) acknowledge to me that it was a good idea and she is moving forward with it? I’m wondering if our friendship is based on these brain storming sessions that generate great ideas?
I do value her friendship but there is a seed of resentment inside of me that is hard to ignore. My husband suggests that I just listen but stop giving her ideas. That is an option, but we are friends and I do like to help. So I’m torn about how to think about this. I recognize and fight ego related issues in my life and know this is likely an ego thing. Yet the feelings persist.
I’m hoping someone can give me some wisdom: should I stop feeding ideas or find a way to deal with my ego? I don’t think discussing this with her is an option - it’s a long story but the change will have to be on my side.
I have a co-worker who has become a friend outside of work. We have become quite good friends over the past 2 years. We used to do several components of our work together, but I’ve since moved into a different department. Without giving too much specific info, we both were involved in a special skill work area that our company is ignoring and critically needs some changes to happen. I used to take care of those areas on my own initiative. Beyond the training for the special skill, I was self taught on most areas (of the special skill) within the company on how to handle just about everything. I’m a quiet introvert but quickly became the go-to girl and earned that respect through several years of disrespect and shaming within the company. She experienced the same thing, being several years behind me in hiring and I mentored her throughout so she could avoid many of the hardships I faced. It was hard but I persevered. Recently I’ve moved into a different division and no longer do much of the special skill, but am still keenly interested in it.
My co-worker friend and I have talked endlessly about how to improve working conditions of that skill. We have met outside of work and she has many many great ideas of her own. As do I. I’ve been called generous with my knowledge and am always willing to help a sister out. Throughout the 2 years, she has consistently presented many of my ideas as her own when meeting with company management. It has happened again, yesterday. I’m mostly (?) fine with it, but there is a little part inside that wishes she would (at least) acknowledge to me that it was a good idea and she is moving forward with it? I’m wondering if our friendship is based on these brain storming sessions that generate great ideas?
I do value her friendship but there is a seed of resentment inside of me that is hard to ignore. My husband suggests that I just listen but stop giving her ideas. That is an option, but we are friends and I do like to help. So I’m torn about how to think about this. I recognize and fight ego related issues in my life and know this is likely an ego thing. Yet the feelings persist.
I’m hoping someone can give me some wisdom: should I stop feeding ideas or find a way to deal with my ego? I don’t think discussing this with her is an option - it’s a long story but the change will have to be on my side.