How long before the novelty wears off?

[nala]

So for years I had been coveting an Art Deco diamond tennis bracelet. Ever since I first passed on it at an incredible price. I had been kicking myself. And then it happened. My holy grail tennis bracelet. Old mine cuts. Platinum. Exactly my size. At the same price as years ago! Surely this would be my Xmas gift and i would be ever so happy. So I bought it and started wearing it immediately. No sense in delayed gratification at my age. Lol. And yet. My feelings of appreciation are wearing off. Not that I’m finding issues with it. It’s an amazing piece that is comfy to wear. I’m actually wearing a bracelet! Daily! So I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. Could it be Xmas? Should I have forced myself to wait until Xmas morning? Am I just so desensitized to bling now? Thoughts? Or similar stories to share? Pic of the bracelet. And if you have stories to share please add a pic of your bling!

 

[telephone89]

Without sounding too harsh, how many e-ring settings have you had in the past few years? From what I've seen, you just seem to lose interest quickly, and then move onto the next shiny. I don't see why you think a bracelet would be different than a setting.
That said, it's a gorgeous piece! I think it makes a great addition to your bling!

 

[nala]

Without sounding too harsh, how many e-ring settings have you had in the past few years? From what I've seen, you just seem to lose interest quickly, and then move onto the next shiny. I don't see why you think a bracelet would be different than a setting.
That said, it's a gorgeous piece! I think it makes a great addition to your bling!

I think that bc I had been coveting the bracelet for over 4 or 5 years unlike the settings. Settings are easy for me to swap out bc I have a jeweler that practically does them for free. I get to trade up for a minimal cost. I’ve never commissioned a high end custom setting bc I love to see my stone in different dresses. I used to swap high end purses so I justify the settings as just a shopping experience or frivolous purchase. Life’s too short to just stare at the same ring in my opinion. But I dont intend to swap out my bracelet. So that’s what bugs me. Why am I so meh already?

 

[baby monster]

Nala, you seem to like new things and the excitement of new purchases. Nothing wrong with that. Perhaps your jeweler should start a subscription program for you to rotate out new pieces for a fee. That way you can constantly change out your jewelry. Similar to Rent the Runway.

 

[OoohShiny]

I think there is a thing related to 'the thrill of the chase' and 'the thrill of anticipation'.

In my case, I've always liked a particular watch, but even though I've spent (far too much!) on credit cards to well over the price of the watch on other bits and pieces, I've never broken out the plastic and bought that watch.

Why?

I don't know...

Perhaps it's because we want to have something to aspire to and miss it when we don't?
Perhaps we worry that we won't really like it and therefore don't want to take the risk?
Perhaps its our subconscious knowing that although we like the design of something, it won't really suit us when it's worn? (I have this with shoes lol)

Either way, you've scratched the itch and perhaps it's not as much 'you' as you thought it might be. If so, you shouldn't feel guilty about returning it if it's still in the Returns window, or selling it on - after all, you shouldn't feel burdened by some sort of guilt about not wearing something often enough, especially when you might not be 110% keen on it!

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I think the novelty wearing off is especially pronounced if you are a bargain hunter. The thrill of the hunt, the rush of adrenaline in going to the shop and hunting for the piece. Then finding it and purchasing it. You admire it for several days but then you want that feeling back, so you start feeling meh about your newest find because what else is out there? If you found this bracelet then just imagine all the other treasures just waiting to be discovered, and what kind of deals you can make.

I get it, for me I just had to tell myself there will always be a bargain or some new great thing, I don't have to have them all, my wallet is much happier being on a diet lol!

ETA: I love your bracelet!

 

[bludiva]

when you've wanted an item for a long long time i think it's hard for it to live up to expectations, lovely as it may be...at least it's happened to me that when i go revisit that coveted item after months or years my mind has hyped it up too much and the reality falls flat :/

 

[Ladygrey]

I think that sometimes when you've wanted something for ages, and overthought it x 1000, there isn't all that much novelty left when it actually arrives because you already know every single thing about it. No matter how lovely it is, there aren't going to be any unexpected moments or surprises. Does that make any sense?

Maybe it will help if you think of this as something that is already an old friend. If not, well, I've also been wanting one of these so dibs if you decide you're just not feeling it!

 

[pearlsngems]

It's the Hedonic Treadmill (a.k.a. Hedonic Adaptation). Here is a really good article about this phenomenon, which affects us all:

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/hedonic-treadmill/

 

[lyra]

Sell it or sit on it for awhile and see if you still love it enough to keep it. I'm always unsure on things that aren't rings, I don't know why. I always wanted a tennis bracelet. Like for decades. I bought a really good faux one in sterling and I've barely ever worn it past the initial phase, so I know it wouldn't be a good purchase for me. When there are days that I want the look, I still have it without the major cash outlay.

 

[GliderPoss]

Agree with the others - the thrill of anticipation, of the hunt for the perfect X is often better than reality once you have bought it! Delayed gratification can actually be useful....

I think it's beautiful and I hope you enjoy wearing it.

 

[nala]

Nala, you seem to like new things and the excitement of new purchases. Nothing wrong with that. Perhaps your jeweler should start a subscription program for you to rotate out new pieces for a fee. That way you can constantly change out your jewelry. Similar to Rent the Runway.

Lol. Too bad I still fall for the whole pride-of-ownership thing. Renting would never work for me!

 

[nala]

I think there is a thing related to 'the thrill of the chase' and 'the thrill of anticipation'.

In my case, I've always liked a particular watch, but even though I've spent (far too much!) on credit cards to well over the price of the watch on other bits and pieces, I've never broken out the plastic and bought that watch.

Why?

I don't know...

Perhaps it's because we want to have something to aspire to and miss it when we don't?
Perhaps we worry that we won't really like it and therefore don't want to take the risk?
Perhaps its our subconscious knowing that although we like the design of something, it won't really suit us when it's worn? (I have this with shoes lol)

Either way, you've scratched the itch and perhaps it's not as much 'you' as you thought it might be. If so, you shouldn't feel guilty about returning it if it's still in the Returns window, or selling it on - after all, you shouldn't feel burdened by some sort of guilt about not wearing something often enough, especially when you might not be 110% keen on it!

No. No guilt here. No desire to return. Just waxing philosophical about my reaction. Trying to reflect so that I can know myself more. I think it’s a new phase for me. Maybe I’m beginning g to question if I indeed need to own everything that shines. Lol. Or if I should look at all my stuff and stop hoarding pretty pieces.

 

[nala]

I think the novelty wearing off is especially pronounced if you are a bargain hunter. The thrill of the hunt, the rush of adrenaline in going to the shop and hunting for the piece. Then finding it and purchasing it. You admire it for several days but then you want that feeling back, so you start feeling meh about your newest find because what else is out there? If you found this bracelet then just imagine all the other treasures just waiting to be discovered, and what kind of deals you can make.

I get it, for me I just had to tell myself there will always be a bargain or some new great thing, I don't have to have them all, my wallet is much happier being on a diet lol!

ETA: I love your bracelet!

I think you are on to something. Lol. I am definitely a bargain hunter and feel proud when I snag a piece at a great price. But you are right. There will always be another. Not that I’m having regrets about this bracelet tho. I’m just wondering why the novelty wore off sooner than usual. Was hoping others would share their how long before they adapt to their new bling. Lol.

 

[nala]

when you've wanted an item for a long long time i think it's hard for it to live up to expectations, lovely as it may be...at least it's happened to me that when i go revisit that coveted item after months or years my mind has hyped it up too much and the reality falls flat :/

Yes. I think so!

 

[nala]

I think that sometimes when you've wanted something for ages, and overthought it x 1000, there isn't all that much novelty left when it actually arrives because you already know every single thing about it. No matter how lovely it is, there aren't going to be any unexpected moments or surprises. Does that make any sense?

Maybe it will help if you think of this as something that is already an old friend. If not, well, I've also been wanting one of these so dibs if you decide you're just not feeling it!

Lol! I will definitely keep you posted!

 

[nala]

It's the Hedonic Treadmill (a.k.a. Hedonic Adaptation). Here is a really good article about this phenomenon, which affects us all:

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/hedonic-treadmill/

Interesting read. Thank you!

 

[nala]

Sell it or sit on it for awhile and see if you still love it enough to keep it. I'm always unsure on things that aren't rings, I don't know why. I always wanted a tennis bracelet. Like for decades. I bought a really good faux one in sterling and I've barely ever worn it past the initial phase, so I know it wouldn't be a good purchase for me. When there are days that I want the look, I still have it without the major cash outlay.

No. I’m not on the fence about it. I’m just wondering why the novelty wore off. It’s definitely a keeper!

 

[nala]

Agree with the others - the thrill of anticipation, of the hunt for the perfect X is often better than reality once you have bought it! Delayed gratification can actually be useful....

I think it's beautiful and I hope you enjoy wearing it.

Thank you. I do enjoy wearing it! But maybe subconsciously I’m bummed out bc I didn’t make myself anticipate it more. Lol

 

[pearlsngems]

Scientists have also found evidence that novelty stimulates the reward centers of the brain. We are wired to get pleasure from new things, new experiences.

For me, novelty wears off more slowly with functional items than with items whose use is primarily decorative or ornamental, including jewelry.

 

[SandyinAnaheim]

I've thought about this thread since I read it this morning, and much of my thoughts have been expressed by others. I often feel the way you do, to be honest. I think that what you may enjoy the most is the thrill of the hunt, not the actual capture of the victim. As @pearlsngems mentioned, you're likely getting a dopamine hit from the chase and acquisition, but the possession isn't satisfying your desire.

Was hoping others would share their how long before they adapt to their new bling. Lol.

For me, I think it depends on the item. I still have not "adapted" to my CBI ER/WB. Every time I see it, my heart still flutters and I cannot believe I own (temporarily) the most beautiful stone and set I have ever seen in person, and it's been 4+ years. I may own other smaller or bigger diamonds, but I won't get DSS from that set. In my mind, it is just sheer and absolute perfection. It took me a LOOONNNGGG time to achieve this though.

However, I possess multiple other diamond items, tennis bracelet, earrings, rings. When they're easier for me to get, I find that I get to that adaptation point a lot faster. When I have to scrimp and save and finagle and plan and wait a lot longer than I would prefer, I seem to enjoy the item much longer. But then again, I like to have new items consistently, especially earrings. In my line of work, I can't wear super-blingy stuff or my high-end rings, but I can wear earrings and necklaces. So that's what I collect and rotate. I really think that the value of the item, in addition to the thrill of the hunt combined with the length of the wait, all play a part in the psychology of it all.

When I first read your post, my initial thought was that you enjoyed the spark of wanting and acquiring more than you enjoyed the pleasure of possession. Once possessed, the item loses its jolt of pleasure long-term. I have to agree with @OoohShiny in that much like I do, I only buy items with return policies. I live with the adored obsession for a short while and IF the item doesn't thrill me every time I see it, it goes back. Like others have said, many times the thought of something is better than the possession of something.

 

[BlingBlingLova]

In my case, I set a goal of what I want my next bling purchase to be ( taking into account the state of our current finances) and I save and save and save until I meet the goal. I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment every time I look at my pieces. The longer I own them, the more I love them. It's probably because I waited and saved for months to accomplish a goal and the bling is a badge of honor

 

[BlingBlingLova]

I should also add that I don't purchase my bling until I have transferred a certain amount of money to our savings account so no guilt factor whatsoever!

 

[missy]

@nala interesting question. Nothing wrong with enjoying the search and the thrill that brings.

I too love searching for bling (or whatever I am loving and wanting at the moment). For me once I find that "dream" item it it truly is my HG I feel quite satiated (as I am right now with my Bubbalah and it took me years to find her) and no longer have that drive to keep searching for an ER OEC. Same with finding our dream homes. I no longer want to keep looking and trading "up" with any of these items.

However if the item I found is something of less consequence to me such as earrings I might keep searching because there is for me no such thing as HG earrings. I love and enjoy switching my earrings on a daily basis so the thrill of the hunt is perpetual for me in that case. Just depends on the item. There is nothing wrong with excitement dying down and just enjoying what you have but on the other hand there is nothing wrong with enjoying the search either.

I like the idea of a jewelry trade in program for you so you don't lose money while you enjoy the search and purchasing new items.

If it is becoming a problem for you (and that has to be determined by you and only you IMO) then perhaps just realizing sometimes just being happy and grateful with what you have is true happiness and contentment.



And of course above all else being happy with who you are is really what means everything. Things are just things.

Though I have to say that your new art deco diamond bracelet is out of this world gorgeous.

 

[lambskin]

Maybe stay away from jewelry purchases for a while and focus on something else as absence makes the heart grow fonder.

 

[Ellen]

Thoughts?

I "think" you should give it to me. See if you miss it. If not, well, there we go!

 

[nala]

Thanks to everyone who chimes in. Yesterday I went to work and didn’t reach for my bracelet. No reason not to wear it or to wear, i thought. And would you believe that only minutes after driving did I realize that I really missed it! I l totally got separation anxiety Bc i wanted to feel the silky weight against my wrist! All this to say that maybe the novelty has not worn off. Lol. Maybe it’s just a different feeling Bc it’s a bracelet. Most of my other pieces are rings or pendants.

 

[SandyinAnaheim]

That's good to hear! I think you should accept that part of the pleasure is finding that elusive beautiful item. For me, that's the part that gives me butterflies. Seeing and wearing the item gives me a different kind of pleasure and gratification, and is much more long lasting. I don't think that the novelty wears off per se, I just think that it is not the same feeling as is experienced during the hunting phase.

 

[missy]

That's good to hear! I think you should accept that part of the pleasure is finding that elusive beautiful item. For me, that's the part that gives me butterflies. Seeing and wearing the item gives me a different kind of pleasure and gratification, and is much more long lasting. I don't think that the novelty wears off per se, I just think that it is not the same feeling as is experienced during the hunting phase.

It's sort of like when you first fall in love/fell in love with your SO...the butterflies and adrenaline are different than the true long lasting love you share now if that makes sense. No less special but less roller coaster adrenaline pumping...for the most part. Because sharing a long lasting true love is even more special than when you first fall in love but yes it's different.

 

[arkieb1]

I'm like that with gemstones, the thrill of the hunt, finding them and purchasing lovely things is far more satisfying than actually wearing most of it.

If you get bored with what you wear easily just plan to turn it over or resell it and get something new every so often.